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posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!

It was a nice evening in Mobius with a beautiful sunset. Sonic was at the spiaggia with Amy, even though he hated water.

Amy: We found a lot of sand dollars.
Sonic: And shells. This collection we'll start will be way past cool.
Amy: te haven't detto that in a long time.
Sonic: You're right, I haven't. Now let's act like we're in a romantic movie from the 70's, and run da the water.
Amy: But I can't run as fast as you.
Sonic: We'll only run ten miles an hour.

And so they did. As they were running, Amy decided to ask Sonic something.

Amy: It's been a while since Eggman attacked us.
Sonic: I know.
Amy: Do te think he's waiting this long on purpose?
Sonic: Possibly, and if he is, I'm ready to defeat him. For now, let's continue running.

But all of a sudden they stopped as if they were in a movie being paused. Sonic, Amy, and their surroundings turned black & white. Then, a grey hedgehog with black spikes, and a red, white, and blue stripe on his chest walks infront of them.

Sean: Okay, I was playing a video that had my cousin spending time in the beach. That's not what this fanfiction is about. This is what it's about. Cars. And now, cue the opening credits.

Theme song: link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

A Sonic The Hedgheog fanfiction

Life In The Fast Lane

Featuring the following characters, and their cars.

Sean the hedgehog

Car: Chevrolet Corvette
Year: 1968
Color: Blue
superiore, in alto Speed: 185 Miles an ora
Handling: Average
Reliability: Very good

Sonic The Hedgehog

Car: Austin Healey 3000
Year: 1963
Color: Red, and white
superiore, in alto Speed: 179 Miles an ora
Handling: Good
Reliability: Good

Miles "Tails" Prower

Car: BMW 507
Year: 1958
Color: Silver
superiore, in alto Speed: 181 Miles an ora
Handling: Good
Reliability: Very good

Knuckles The Echidna

Car: Dodge vipera, viper
Year: 2010
Color: Red and black
superiore, in alto Speed: 220 Miles an ora
Handling: Poor
Reliability: Very good

Sexy the hedgehog (My girlfriend's fan character)

Car: Ford mustang
Year: 1969
Color: Red and black
superiore, in alto Speed: 190 Miles an ora
Handling: Very poor
Reliability: Very good

Amy Rose

Car: Ferrari 599
Year: 2011
Color: rosa
superiore, in alto Speed: 210 Miles an ora
Handling: Poor
Reliability: Average

Cream The Rabbit

Car: Chevrolet Bel air
Year: 1956
Color: Orange, and black
superiore, in alto Speed: 161 Miles an ora
Handling: Average
Reliability: Very good

Vector The coccodrillo

Car: Ford mustang Bullitt
Year: 2001
Color: Dark green
superiore, in alto Speed: 191 Miles an ora
Handling: Average
Reliability: Very good

Espio The Chameleon

Car: Chevrolet Bel air
Year: 1955
Color: Red, and white
superiore, in alto Speed: 166 Miles an ora
Handling: Poor
Reliability: Good

Charmy the bee

Car: Jeep Wrangler
Year: 2002
Color: arancia, arancio
superiore, in alto Speed: 156 Miles an ora
Handling: Good
Reliability: Poor

Shadow the hedgehog

Car: Dodge Charger
Year: 1969
Color: Yellow
superiore, in alto Speed: 185 Miles an ora
Handling: Average
Reliability: Very good

Silver The Hedgehog

Car: Lamborghini Huracan
Year: 2014
Color: Yellow
superiore, in alto Speed: 222 Miles an ora
Handling: Poor
Reliability: Average

Blaze The Cat

Car: Hyundai Sonata
Year: 2003
Color: Silver
superiore, in alto Speed: 129 Miles an ora
Handling: Good
Reliability: Poor

Mighty The armadillo

Car: Pontiac Firebird
Year: 1986
Color: Red, and white
superiore, in alto Speed: 187 Miles an ora
Handling: Very poor
Reliability: Very good

Doctor Eggman

Car: Mercedes Benz CLA 45 AMG
Year: 2014
Color: White
superiore, in alto Speed: 218 Miles an ora
Handling: Average
Reliability: Good

And finally, Rouge the bat

Car: Willys Americar
Year: 1941
Color: rosa
superiore, in alto speed: 60 Miles an ora
Handling: Good
Reliability: Very poor

Sean: *Standing in front of a blue 1968 Corvette* This is my car. I think te already saw this, but for those of te just tuning in, I just want te to know.
Sonic & Tails: *Arrive in their cars, and park successivo to my car*
Sean: ciao guys.
Sonic: *Gets out of car* Hey.
Tails: *Gets out of car* How are te doing?
Sean: Fine, fine. I think this going to be a great giorno for racing.
Sonic: Good. The others should be here soon, so while we wait, why don't we practice?
Knuckles: *Arrives in his car, and stops. He lowers the window on the passenger side* Hey, te three. Get over here.
Sean, Sonic, and Tails: *Walk to Knuckles' car*
Sean: What's up?
Knuckles: I can't stay. Rouge took my master emerald.
Sonic: Oh no. Do te know where it is?
Knuckles: Maybe. Listen, since she took the master emerald, she hasn't been herself lately.
Sean: How do te know it was her?
Knuckles: I saw her!
Tails: What did te mean da not recitazione like herself?
Knuckles: Imagine the way she acts in Rouge's Farting Problem, with a southern accent.
Sean: *Laughing*
Knuckles: It's not funny!
Sean: I'm sorry! *Stops laughing* The southern accent thing kinda made me laugh. I think she would sound funny... Then again, I think I'm saying the words "I think" too much.
Sonic: Maybe te oughta stop.
Sean: You're right.
Knuckles: I gotta go now. *Drives away*
Sean: How do te like that? I never thought she would be able to take the master smeraldo from him.
Sonic: I remember one time she took it from him, but that was a while ago.

Soon, Rouge arrived in her car. Just as soon as she was parking her car, it broke down. Smoke came from the hood, and out of the grille.

Sean: Here she is.
Sonic: Play it cool.
Rouge: *Walks up* Howdy y'all.
Sean: *Snickering*
Tails: Knuckles wasn't joking about the southern accent.
Rouge: Is there a problem Mr. Stripes?
Sean: Me? No, no problem. It's just uh,... I Amore your southern accent. Yeah.
Rouge: Thanks sugar.
Sonic: *Looking at Rouge's car*
Rouge: te like it? My car is sexy, just like me.
Sonic: Don't te think te could fix the engine?
Rouge: There ain't nothing wrong with it. Just overheating, that's all.
Tails: te will get it fixed, right?
Rouge: Right. If anyone can do it, I know it's you. *Farts* Forgive me.
Sean: That wasn't really lady like.
Rouge: No, it wasn't. Then again, stealing jewels ain't lady like either, but I do it anyway, because I don't wanna pay for them.
Sean: Right. I think we all knew that.
Sonic: te detto I think again.
Sean: I did. Why don't we end this strange conversation, and get our cars onto the track?
Tails: Sounds good. Cream, Amy, and Sexy detto they would be here soon.
Rouge: I wanna join.
Sean: Why don't te get a better car first? Then te can join.
Rouge: I don't need a better car. This car is perfect just the way it is.
Sean: Whatever te say.

Me, Sonic, and Tails then got into our cars, and left Rouge da herself.

Me, Sonic, and Tails got our cars onto the track. We were just about to practice when the ladies we were waiting for arrived in their cars.

Amy: *Stops behind Sonic's car*
Cream: *Stops behind Tails' car*
Sexy: *Stops behind my car*
Sonic: Just when we were about to practice.

All three of them got out of their cars simultaneously.

Amy: Sonniku! *Runs to Sonic, and hugs him*
Sonic: Okay, you're excited to see me. Jeez.
Tails: *Shy* Hey.
Cream: *Also shy* Hi.
Tails: I hope te got those parts I sent te for your car.
Cream: I did, and I wanna thank you.
Tails: When can I baciare you?
Cream: When I get permission from my mommy.
Tails: When is that going to happen?
Cream: Soon hopefully.
Sexy: ciao handsome.
Sean: Hey.
Sexy: te weren't going to race without us, were you?
Sean: It's called practice.
Sexy: And you're going to need all the practice te can take.
Sean: I don't think so. Your car maybe faster then mine, but I have better handling.
Sexy: *Giggling* We'll see about that. *Kisses Sean* How about we-
Sean: Not now. We'll do it after the race, and make sure no one sees us.
Sexy: I can't wait to-
Sean: Tails, and Cream are here. We can't say inappropriate things in front of them.
Sonic: Hey, are te ready?
Sean: Huh? Oh yeah.
Sexy: Let's race.

The six of us got our cars lined up. We were starting the race, while Robotnik was watching from a far distance.

Robotnik: That hedgehog, and his Friends are racing. Without me! Why don't we change that?
Nazi 54: What are te going to do mein fuehrer?
Robotnik: Get me a car. What kind did te have during world war 2, before I time travelled, and took te here with me?
Nazi 54: Mercedes Benz.
Robotnik: Then, that is what I'll have. I shall be the best, o nothing.

The race was going well. I was winning, but Sexy the hedgehog was right successivo to my car. The other four were behind us. The track was a figure 8.

Sean: *Turns right*
Sexy: *About to pass me on the turn*
Sean: *Blocking Sexy*
Sexy: *Brakes, and spins out of control* So that's the way te want to play huh?
Sonic, Tails, and Cream: *Passing Sexy*
Sexy: I'm surprised Amy is in last. She has a Ferrari.
Amy: *Passes Sexy*
Sexy: Aaand I spoke too soon. *Drives*
Sonic: *Trying to pass me*
Sean: Sorry cousin, I can't let te win.
Sonic: That's fine. I can always beat te while racing on foot.
Tails: *Passing Sonic*
Sean: Good pass Tails.
Sonic: Come on Tails buddy. Don't leave me in third.
Sean: I thought te detto te were fine with not winning.
Sonic: Up to a certain point.
Tails: Oh come on Sonic, we're just here to have fun.
Sean: But the winner gets $8,000.
Tails: Then sposta over bitches! I'm going to win the eight grand!
Sonic: I think if anyone is going to win, it might be Amy. She has the fastest car out of all of us.
Sean: It's not all about speed, it's also about handling.
Tails: He's right.
Cream: *Driving behind Sonic* Can I pass please?
Sonic: Sure. *Goes to the right giving Cream enough room to pass*
Cream: Thank you. *Passes Sonic, and Tails*
Sonic: Wait. WHAT?!
Tails: She's tied with Sean now.

We were neck, and neck, and on the final lap.

Sean: te know what I just realized?
Cream: What is it?
Sean: We're the only ones with a Chevy, and we're winning.
Cream: True.

Meanwhile, Eggman was getting close to the racetrack. Just as he did that, Rouge was leaving.

Eggman: What was that female bat doing here? Ah, nevermind. I shall defeat those six racers, and rule all of Mobius! Ahahahahahaha.
Rouge: *Driving down a road* I gotta check on the master emerald, and see if Knuckles didn't take it back from me.
Silver: *Driving past in his Lamborghini* Woohoo!! I'm going fast!!! YEAH!! *Stops car at red light* Oh, and before I forget. To hell with all the sonic fan calling me gay, o retarded. Why would te say that?! I know I'm dating Blaze The Cat, and that she's a bad character, but that doesn't mean te have to make fun of me. I'm going to break up with her sooner o later. Anyway, stop calling me gay, o retarded, because for one thing, I am neither of those two.

The light turned green, and other people in their cars were being held up da Silver, and his car.

Silver: Just because te say that I am those things, does not make it true. I know I'm not gay, and I'm definitely not retarded.
Person35: *Honking horn* ciao retard, you're holding up traffic here.
Silver: This is what I'm talking about! *Making car float with his hands* I am not retarded! *Throws car into the air* Who's next?

Everyone stayed silent.

Silver: That's più like it. *Drives away*

Remember, stop hating Silver the hedgehog for no reason.

The race ended. Me, and Cream tied in first.

Sexy: If te didn't block me off that turn, I would've won.
Sean: Sorry.
Eggman: *Arrives in his car* Hello my friends.
Sonic: Friends? He must have his vocabulary messed up.
Eggman: I saw that te were racing, and I simply could not stay away.
Sonic: Why?
Eggman: Because I have plans to take over this racetrack, and make it a training ground for my soldiers to practice driving military vehicles.
Tails: Unless they're vehicles that can fly of course.
Eggman: Yes, that too. However, I won't do that if te beat me. All of te must beat me however. If I end up in 6th place, o any position higher than that, I get to own this track.
Sean: You're on.
Amy: Let's do it.
Cream: We'll beat him. Wait a second, I just realized something. Where's Cheese?
Cheese: *Arrives* Chao.
Cream: Where were you?
Cheese: Chao chao chao.
Cream: Oh.
Sean: What did he say?
Cream: He detto he was playing with some of the other chao's.
Cheese: *Shakes head yes*
Eggman: Okay, enough of the cute chao shit. Let's get this race over with.
Sean: Alright, let's do it.

Meanwhile, Knuckles was trying to find the Master Emerald.

Knuckles: Where could it be? It couldn't have just dissapeared. *Parks car on dirt da the road*
Shadow: *Stops da Knuckles in his car* ciao you!
Knuckles: I do have a name te know.
Shadow: Where's Rouge? She ha rubato, stola all of the Chaos Emeralds from me.
Knuckles: Really? She ha rubato, stola the Master smeraldo from me. I was just looking for it. Wanna help?
Shadow: Yeah, and then te can help me find those master emeralds.
Knuckles: Alright, first let's get the Master Emerald.

Speaking of Rouge. She was driving her car along a road that had a lot of turns, and went uphill.

Rouge: He ain't ever gonna fine the Master Emerald. Now, I gotta do what Tails told me to do, and get my car to stop overheating.

Then all of a sudden, her car broke down. The engine stopped working, and her car stopped on the side of the road.

Rouge: *Turns key* Come on, start. Please!!!

She tried a secondo time, but it wouldn't start.

Rouge: Aw man. I think I know what to do. *Grabs toolbox from the floor*

Back to Knuckles, and Shadow.

Knuckles: After we find our emeralds, why don't we have a drag race?
Shadow: What's the point? Your car is too fast for me to win.
Knuckles: It's not all about speed. Sean's car is just as fast as your's, and he somehow beat me several times.
Shadow: I have to race him.
Knuckles: Yeah, go for it. I don't think he would be too busy.
Silver: *Drives past in his lamborghini*
Shadow: Was that Silver?
Knuckles: Yeah, who else? He's been driving that thing non stop ever since he bought it.
Shadow: I heard he killed someone for calling him retarded.
Knuckles: Can te blame him? If someone called me retarded, I'd break their neck.
Shadow: I would just shot him.

Silver stopped at Blaze's house, and threw a rock with a letter into her window.

Blaze: *Hears the window break* What was that?
Silver: *Drives away*
Blaze: *Sees rock* What's this? *Reads note*

Dear Blaze,

Since we have been dating, people have been thinking that I was gay/retarded. I can't put up with it anymore. It's over.

Silver

P.S. te smell like shit.

Blaze: *Crys* Why would he say that?! *Continues to cry, but then she gets angry* I'm going to teach him a lesson.

Me, Sonic, Tails, Amy, Cream, and Sexy The Hedgehog were challenged to a race da Eggman. He had to get last place, o else he would take control of the track, and turn it into a training ground for his soldiers to practice driving military vehicles.

Sonic: Are te guys ready?
Sean: Yes.
Tails: Yeah.
Cream: Are te set Cheese?
Cheese: *Sitting successivo to Cream in a car seat* Chao!
Eggman: Let's go! *Drives his car*

He got in first place, but we weren't gonna let him win.

Sean: *Passing Eggman*
Eggman: Ah!
Tails: *Passes Eggman*
Eggman: Damnt!
Sonic: *About to pass Eggman*
Eggman: No più people will pass me. From now on, I will block off anyone that passes me.
Sexy, Amy, and Cream: *Passes Eggman*
Eggman: No! I'm in Last!
Sonic: That's what te wanted, right?
Eggman: No, that's what te want. What I want is to at least be in 6th place.
Sonic: Well this track is a figure 8, and there's three laps.
Sean: Good luck beating us.
Tails: Heil Eggman!
Eggman: Only my soldiers get to salute me that way!
Sonic: Heil Eggman.
Eggman: AHHH!!
Sean: *Passes the starting line* One lap down. Two to go.

The following racers are in these positions.

Sean - First place
Sonic - secondo place
Amy - Third place
Tails - Fourth place
Cream - Fifth place
Sexy - Sixth place
Eggman - Seventh place

Eggman: *About to pass Sexy* If te weren't dating Sean, I would definitely ask te out.
Sexy: Sorry. *Passes Cream*
Eggman: *Thinking* Hmmm. I think this might work.
Cream: *Passes Sexy*
Eggman: *Hits the back of Sexy's car*
Sexy: *Spins out of control, and gets passed da Eggman*
Eggman: *Laughing* Auf Wiedersehen.
Sexy: He did not see the last of me. *Driving right behind Eggman*
Sean: *Passing the starting line* Final lap te guys,

The following racers are in these positions.

Sean - First place
Sonic - secondo place
Amy - Third place
Cream - Fourth place
Tails - Fifth place
Eggman - Sixth place
Sexy - Seventh place

Eggman: You're right behind me. That's not a good idea.
Sexy: It's not, huh? *Ramming Eggman's car*
Eggman: Hey! That's not fair.
Sexy: Why did te do it to me?
Eggman: Because I can. Girls aren't supposed to be good drivers.
Sexy: Oh yeah? *Pushes Eggman's car into a wall*

One of the wheels fell off Eggman's car.

Eggman: This is ridiculous! I should have won, but I Lost a wheel!

So Eggman finished in last place, and the race track was still ours.

Rouge was still in her car, trying to get it to start. She had different size wrenches, but she was using them for something else. Five wrenches were on the passenger seat, and they all had a white liquid on them.

Vector: *Driving car down the road*
Espio & Charmy: *Following Vector*
Vector: ciao look, someone is in trouble.
Rouge: *Looks through window* Uh oh. *Puts wrenches inside toolbox*
Vector: *Stops car on the side of the road*
Espio & Charmy: *Stop their cars behind Vector's*
Rouge: *Gets out of the car* Howdy te three.
Vector: What has been happening?
Rouge: It ain't what it looks like.
Vector: te have been stuck here for too long. Thankfully, we have come here to help.
Rouge: Oh good. Yeah. That's great.
Charmy: Though I gotta be honest, when we first saw you, it looked like te were masturbating.
Vector: Charmy, don't say bad words like that!
Rouge: *Nervous* Let's just get my car to the repair shop.
Vector: Not yet. First, you're going to do a job for us.
Rouge: *Not happy* Okay, let's get it over with.
Vector: That's the spirit! You're riding with me.
Espio: Oh come on! Why can't she ride with me?
Vector: Because I'm the leader.
Charmy: She should be with me. I'm the youngest.
Rouge: *Gets in Vector's car*
Vector: *Drives*
Espio: *Follows Vector*
Charmy: *Follows Espio*
Rouge: So what's this here job te have for me?
Vector: Mighty is being held prisoner da Eggman. Thankfully, he left his headquarters to race Sonic, and some of his friends, so now we can rescue him.
Rouge: What about security?
Vector: What about them? We'll kick their asses, and save Espio.
Rouge: te mean Mighty?
Vector: *Embarrased* Oh, right.

But the race was over, and Eggman was trying to get a taxi home.

Eggman: *Sticking thumb out to taxi driver*
Taxi Drivers: *Passing Eggman*
Eggman: *Showing the middle finger to cab drivers*
Shadow: *Stops car* Doctor, what are te doing here?
Eggman: My car Lost a wheel, and I need a ride back to the base.
Shadow: Get in.
Eggman: *Gets in car*
Shadow: *Drives* I hope te don't mind, but I need to help Knuckles find the Master Emerald.
Eggman: Why?!
Shadow: He helped me get all seven chaos emeralds.
Eggman: Excellent! *Laughing* Do te know what this means?
Shadow: World domination?
Eggman: te read my mind like a book!

While Eggman was away, Sonic, and his Friends were celebrating.

Sonic: I knew we would kick his butt.
Tails: He didn't stand a chance.
Sean: He oughta think twice before going against us again.
Amy: Eggman was never good at racing as far as I know.
Cream: I'm just glad Cheese is safe.
Cheese: *Very happy* Chao!
Sexy: *Leaning on Sean* And te know what we get to do, right?
Sean: Right. Let's got to the cliff.
Sonic: The cliff?
Sean: Never heard of it?
Sonic: No.
Sexy: Then, all six of us should go there. *Whispers to Sean* If te remove the I with an E, that's what we should be doing.
Sean: *Annoyed* Okay, I get it.

So, we got in our cars, and drove away.

Eggman, Knuckles, and Shadow were looking for the Master Emerald. They were searching, when they saw Rouge's car.

Eggman: There's her car.
Knuckles: But where is that bat?
Shadow: I don't know.
Knuckles: She has the master emerald! If we don't find it, Angel Island will be done for.
Eggman: It was already destroyed.
Knuckles: WHAT?!?
Eggman: *Gets his Iphone, and shows the news to Knuckles* Angel Island has been destroyed.
Knuckles: *Looking at the news* That's Angel Island in San Francisco! Look for the one in Mobius.
Eggman: Okay, jeez. No need to get angry.
Knuckles: Yeah, well te know how I am when it comes to having the Master smeraldo getting stolen from me. Especially da Rouge.
Shadow: What I don't get is why she would leave her car here.
Knuckles: Maybe because it's worthless, breaks down a lot, and she got a ride somewhere.

Indeed she did. She was with Vector, and the other two Chaotix members, and they were going to rescue Mighty.

Vector: *Looking in parking lot* Okay, I see his car.
Rouge: te do?
Espio: I see it too.
Charmy: I wish I could drive it.
Vector: You've got a Jeep!
Silver: *Drives past in his Lamborghini*
Charmy: Forget it, I want Silver's car.

Blaze was trying to follow Silver, but her car was a useless Hyundai. It had a superiore, in alto speed of 120 miles an hour, and was unreliable.

Blaze: I'll get te Silver!!
Espio: Jeez. What's her problem?
Rouge: I don't know. At least my car is better than hers.
Vector: Okay, let's go rescue Mighty.

The four of them snuck into Eggman's base, and looked around the hallways.

Vector: *Whispers* There's a guard sleeping. He has the keys to Mighty's cell.
Rouge: *Sneaks to guard with keys*
Guard: *Waking up*
Rouge: *Farts*
Guard: *Falls on ground, and passed out*
Rouge: *Takes keys*
Vector: We're clear. Let's get to his cell.
Mighty: Vector? Is that you?
Vector: Yeah, where are you?
Mighty: Take a left.
Vector: *Goes left*
Mighty: te have the keys?
Rouge: *Appears* No. I do.
Mighty: Great. Get me out of here.
Rouge: *Unlocks the door to Mighty's cell*

After that, the five of them escaped.

Back to the Silver/Blaze chase, Silver was far ahead of Blaze.

Eggman: *Searching Rouge's car*
Knuckles: We already searched her entire car. It's clean. Except for the smell of her non stop farting.
Silver: *Drives past*
Shadow: *Angry* SLOW DOWN SILVER!!
Knuckles: Not used to people going faster than you, huh Shadow?
Shadow: *Glares at Knuckles*
Blaze: *Driving her car, but it gets a flat, and hits a sign. She gets out, and cries*
Knuckles: What is it Blaze?
Blaze: Silver hates me.
Shadow: And I hate Silver, but I also hate you. Stop crying.
Blaze: *Continues crying*
Shadow: Uuuugh. *Grabs gun, and shoots Blaze*
Blaze: *Dies*
Knuckles: Why did te do that?
Shadow: Because I'm the ultimate life form. I can kill anyone.
Eggman: Except me!
Shadow: Except the doctor, o anyone in his army.

Down at The Cliff, Sonic, Tails, Sean, Amy, Cream, and Sexy were at the cliff hanging out.

Cream: *Staring at stars in sky* It sure is beautiful out tonight.
Cheese: Chao.
Tails: If I had my airplane, I'd Amore to fly above the clouds.
Cream: I thought te had gadgets that could make your car fly.
Tails: ciao yeah. I never tried it out though. Let's give it a test.
Cream: Okay.
Cheese: *Excited* Chao chao.
Sonic: Seems like Tails, and Cream made Cheese happy about something.
Amy: I wonder what they're up to.
Tails: *Starts car* te ready?
Cream: *Has her seatbelt on, and holding Cream* Ready to go.
Tails: Then here we go. *Drives car, then hits a button. Wings with jet engines attached appear, and the car starts to fly*
Sean: *Watching Tails fly his car*
Tails: *Flying high in the air*
Sexy: We never did get to do our thing yet.
Sean: Yeah, about that... I'm not really comfortable with it.
Sexy: Why not?
Sean: Because we're in a story being postato on a website that doesn't allow any porn/sex. I'm sorry, but we have to wait until this gets onto Deviantart.
Sexy: Forget it, I'm out of here. *Gets in her car, and drives away*
Sonic: What's with her?
Sean: She wanted to have sex.
Amy: Oh.
Sean: Yeah. I told her no, and that I just wanted to hang out with te guys. Not that I don't like her o anything, it's just that... I don't want her saying those kind of things out in public. te know what I mean?
Sonic: Yeah. *Glares at Amy* Someone did the same thing to me.

Meanwhile with Rouge, she was still with the chaotix. They rescued Mighty from Eggman, and now the five of them had another activity planned for the evening.

Vector: Here. *Gives Rouge a shirt* Put this on.
Rouge: Over, o under my cuore shaped bra?
Vector: Over. There are words on there that people need to read.
Rouge: *Looking at shirt*

The front of the camicia detto Fuck Reservations.

Rouge: What is this for?
Vector: There's a fancy restaurant that made me, and my Friends wait, because we had no reservation. Because of this, we're going to destroy it.
Rouge: Pardon me, but that sounds stupid.
Vector: Shut up.

The restaurant they were going to was on stilts at the back.

Vector: *Stops car da stilts*
Espio: *Stops his car da Vector's*
Charmy: *Stops his car successivo to Espio's*
Mighty: *Stops his car successivo to Mighty's*
Vector: Okay, get the cables connected from your cars onto the stilts.
Mighty: Right.
Rouge: Let me guess. You're pulling this thing down.
Vector: Yes we are. I'd put my seatbelt on if I were you.
Rouge: *Puts on her seatbelt*
Espio: The cables are attached Vec.
Vector: Good. te got mine on right? *Sees his cable attached to stilt* Never mind.
Espio: Let's do this.

They got back into their cars, and started driving forward, attempting to pull the restaurant down.

British Cook: I say, what a dreadful noise.
French Cook: I am trying to make a soup. Make it stop.
Vector: Back up, and try again. It shouldn't take long for us to pull this thing down.
British Cook: *Walks out of restaurant* Bloody hell!

They drove again, and the restaurant started coming apart.

British Cook: AAHHHH! *Falls on ground*
French Cook: Sacre Bleu!
Vector: *Drives away*
Espio: *Follows Vector*
Charmy: *Follows Espio*
Mighty: *Follows Charmy*
Waiters: *Running into kitchen* What is the meaning of all this?
French Cook: The british cook. Blame him. He was too fat, and I warned him not to go out there.

Sexy was mad because I wouldn't have sex with her. She was driving her car, but wasn't paying attention to where she was going.

Sexy: *Driving on wrong side of the road*
Silver: *Driving his car* Wait, what's that mustang doing in the- *Crashes into Sexy's car*

Surprisingly, no one was hurt.

Sexy: *Gets out of her car* Silver, what were te thinking?
Silver: What do te mean what was I thinking? You're the one that got in the wrong side of the road, and crashed into me!
Sexy: te owe me money, for damaging my car.
Silver: If te think that's bad, look at this. *Pointing to damage on his car* This'll take weeks to repair! Getting new parts for a car like this is very difficult!

Vector, and the chaotix started passing them.

Silver: Hey! We need a ride!
Sexy: Get over here!
Vector, Espio, Charmy, and Mighty: *Ignoring them*
Rouge: te won't stop for them?
Vector: What for? We have to get te to your car.
Rouge: Oh yeah.
Sexy: Why wouldn't they stop for us?
Silver: I don't know. Do te think our cars are still driveable?
Sexy: Only one way to find out. *Gets in her car, and drives backwards*
Silver: *Gets in his car, and turns around on the other side of the road*

They both started heading towards the bodyshop.

Vector: *Stops his car successivo to Rouge's* Okay, te did really great helping us out. *Gives Rouge a thousand dollars* Use this to help repair your car.
Rouge: Thanks. *Gets out of Vector's car, and walks to her own*
Vector: Good luck. *Drives away*
Rouge: *Gets in her car, and starts it* Now to get to the bodyshop. *Drives to bodyshop*

We haven't seen Shadow, Knuckles, and Eggman in a while. Let's check on them, and see if they've found the Master smeraldo yet.

Knuckles: *Walking through forest*
Eggman, and Shadow: *Following them*
Eggman: This is taking too long! We must find that Master smeraldo now!
Shadow: We will. Take it easy.
Knuckles: I think's it close to us. Look around here.
Shadow & Eggman: *Searching*
Knuckles: *Looking at the superiore, in alto of the trees* Where is it? *Finds it* Aha! It's on superiore, in alto one of the trees!
Shadow: Do te need help?
Knuckles: Nah, te guys can go. I'll take it from here.
Eggman: Always happy to help. *Grabs gun, and points it at Knuckles* Aren't you?
Knuckles: This is a joke right?
Eggman: I don't joke.
Shadow: Let us have the Master Emerald, o else.
Knuckles: You're kidding right?
Eggman: I told you, I don't joke. So I also don't kid.
Knuckles: *Grabs stone* Take a joke with this. *Throws stone at Eggman*
Eggman: *Gets hit in the head, and has been knocked out*
Shadow: *Grabs gun*
Knuckles: *Hits gun out of Shadow's hand*
Shadow: You-
Silver: *Runs over Shadow* Oh great! Now I got più damage on my car!!
Shadow: *Laying on ground* Silver!! te idiot!!!
Knuckles: Hey. What did he tell te about calling him an idiot?
Shadow: *Stays quiet*
Knuckles: *Gets master emerald, and goes back to Angel Island*
Shadow: One day. That master smeraldo will be mine!

Rouge the bat finally got her car to the bodyshop. Just as soon as she got her car inside, the engine broke.

Mechanic: Seems like te got here just in time. What can I help te with?
Rouge: I need a new radiator to prevent my car from overheating.
Mechanic: Okay, and I'll even repair the engine for you. Both services will cost te $220 each.
Rouge: *Gives mechanic $440*
Mechanic: Excellent. I'll get your car repaired right away.
Rouge: *Goes on her smartphone, and goes on the internet*
Mechanic: How's your dealership going?
Rouge: Fine. I'm just making a new advertisement for the internet.
Mechanic: I saw one of your commercials.
Rouge: I made a new one yesterday. te wanna see it?
Mechanic: Sure.
Rouge: *Shows commercial on TV*
Mechanic: How did you-
Rouge: Technology.

This is the commercial.

Rouge: Howdy. Are te a female with beautiful looks?
17 anno old girl: *Walking down street*
Boys: *Staring*
Boy: She's sexy.
17 anno old girl: *Farts*
Rouge: Do te have huge breasts, and a big ass?
16 anno old girl: I want all the boys to be inside me! *Farts*
Rouge: Do te have a bad taste in cars?
18 anno old girl: *Very excited* This is my car. It's a rosa Scion. The tires always run out of air, I painted it pink, and the engine always breaks down! *Farts*
People: *Giving her awkward looks*
Rouge: If te answered yes to any of those questions, than come on down to Rouge's sexy car dealership. We got the greatest cars te could imagine, from the 1960 Fiat 500, to a 1954 Citroen 2CV, we've got all the cars te could ever want.
Man: Hey! Why do all the cars here have less than 30 horsepower?
Rouge: Because they're awesome cars! Come on down to Rouge's sexy car dealership. *Farts*

The commercial ends.

Mechanic: *Does not like the commercial, but decides to lie about it* Interesting... Very very interesting.
Rouge: I'm glad te like it.
Mechanic: Well, I just fixed everything. te can leave now.
Rouge: *Starts her car, and starts to back out of the shop*

Then, Rouge's car broke down again, and smoke came from the engine.

Mechanic: (Hmmm. I could make a lot of money off of this.) Hey, how about I fix the engine again? It'll cost te $300.
Rouge: I thought it only costed $220.
Mechanic: Now that was for the radiator, and the engine.
Rouge: It was $220 each!
Mechanic: Well, good luck getting out of here.
Rouge: *Turns the key in her car*

The engine wouldn't start, and it was making Rouge horny.

Mechanic: Try all te want, but that car will not start.
Rouge: Than, I'm gonna have to do something naughty.
Mechanic: What's that supposed to mean?
Rouge: *Coming towards mechanic* I need a man to pleasure me. *Farts*
Mechanic: No! No, no no! If I fix the car for free, will te leave me alone?!
Rouge: Sure.
Mechanic: Okay!

Sexy, and Silver soon arrived with their cars.

Sexy: Hey, hurry up with that rosa piece of shit, and fix our cars!
Silver: Better yet, fix my car first!
Mechanic: Sorry, te two have to wait. Rouge was here first.
Sexy, and Silver: UGH!!

Silver, and Sexy were still waiting for their cars to be repaired, because Rouge was still trying to get her car repaired.

Sexy: *Sleeping in her car*
Silver: *Playing Diamond Digger Saga on his I Phone 6* I don't see how people are complaining with this thing getting bent so easily. I haven't had that problem at all. *Bends his phone, and gets extremely angry* whoever created this phone is an IDIOT!!!!!
Sexy: *Wakes up* Who called te an idiot for buying an I phone?
Silver: *His rage intensifies* I've had enough of you. te crashed into my brand new Lamborghini, so I'm going to do something te will regret. *Lifting Sexy's car*
Sexy: How are you-
Silver: *Throws the car, and turns back to normal* Well, time to continue playing Diamond Digger Saga.

Meanwhile, Sexy was still in her car, and it was heading towards Shadow.

Shadow: I can't believe Knuckles took the Master smeraldo from me. What could be worse than that? *Sees Sexy's car flying towards him* of course...
Sexy: *Falls out of car as it lands on the ground*
Shadow: *Grabs Sexy* How fast were te going?
Sexy: I have no idea. Silver threw my car, because I asked him who called him an idiot for buying an I phone.
Shadow: te should know better than that. Now we're gonna go on a little road trip. *Walking with Sexy towards his car*
Sexy: What do te have planned for us?
Shadow: For me, I'll have a nice cena with wine, and possibly end up killing the waiter if he messes up my order. For you, death.
Sexy: Why me?
Shadow: Because te nearly hit me with your car.
Sexy: I told you, Silver threw my car.
Shadow: I don't care. te nearly killed me, because it was your car heading towards me. Get in the sede, sedile successivo to me. *Gets in driver's seat*
Sexy: *Sits successivo to Shadow*
Shadow: *Starts car, and begins driving*
Sexy: What anno did te say your car was from?
Shadow: 1969. Why don't te ask me where you're going to die.
Sexy: Okay. Where am I going to die?
Shadow: None of your business!

Surprisingly, I was nearby in my car. I was just about to go buy a soda, when I saw Sexy being abused da Shadow.

Sean: I gotta save her. *Drives his car towards Shadow*
Sexy: *Looks back* Looks like my boyfriend found you.
Shadow: Dammit. *Floors it*
Sean: *Floors it, and follows Shadow*
Shadow: *Turns left*
Sean: *Follows Shadow*
Shadow: *Turns right into a park*
Sean: *Follows Shadow*
Shadow: *Driving on gravel*
Sean: *Rams the back of Shadow's car*
Shadow: *Spins out of control, then drives out of the park*
Sean: *Follows Shadow*
Shadow: *Turns right*
Sean: *Drifts right, then hits the side of Shadow's car*
Sexy: Be careful, and don't hurt me!
Sean: How about te try to get in my car?
Sexy: I can't!
Shadow: If she makes any moves, I'll kill her. I'm the ultimate life form.
Sean: Ultimate life form my ass. *Grabs .44 Revolver*
Shadow: *Turns left*
Sean: *Shoots back tire of Shadow's car*
Shadow: *Hits a car, but continues driving*
Sean: *Shoots Shadow*
Shadow: *Dies, and leans on the steering wheel, and gas*
Sexy: *Jumps out, and does a back flip onto her feet*
Sean: *Stops successivo to Sexy. He opens the door for her to get in*
Sexy: Thank you. *Gets in car, and closes the door*
Sean: That was an impressive backflip.
Sexy: So, are te ready to do that thing I've been trying to get te to do?
Sean: Yeah. Let's do it. *Looks at the reader, and pulls down a blind so that te can't see him with Sexy*

The End. Life In The Fast Lane was originally written in 2014.
added by 8theGreat
Source: The entire effin random club
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I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now....
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I don't care at all about Game Grumps, but a friend who was really into them showed me this a few years fa and I've been quoting it for years
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i
don't
care
what
bag
te
have
unless
its
gucci
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Source: my art
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Source: my art
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Source: my art
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Source: my art
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Source: my art
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Source: my art
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Source: Screenshot from the anime.
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Source: Screenshot from the anime.
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Source: Illustration da Michi Himeno
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Source: Illustration da Michi Himeno