Manly things

Another email.

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the tavolo with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the latte carton.




WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check o charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a Televisione set in her purse. "So, do te always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured...

More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The box auto, garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Cioccolato is just another snack. te can be President. te can never be pregnant. te can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. te can wear NO camicia to a water park. Car mechanics tell te the truth.

The world is your urinal. te never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. te don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, più pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...

From an email I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten da his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, te must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for più than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless te actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free birra in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...

More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and te need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minuti is only five minuti if te have just been dato five più minuti to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and te should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...

I didn't write this. I got it in an email and it made me smile!!
Sorry guys, I just had to post it! :P


The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN dato LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD...