To boost my confidence coz I was a shy kid, my parents told me that I was descended from an emperor of the Mao Dynasty or whatever. :L

Ghosts will eat me if I don't tie my hair before going to sleep (saves me from tangles.)

When I was really small, my mom in effort to stop my bottle-drinking habit, told me a cat stole all of them so now I'll have to use a cup.

'Maybe tomorrow.'

'I'll think about it.'

'We're leaving in two minutes.' *four hours later*

That has happened to me before. We were going to a town near L.A to visit my favourite aunt and my best friend was with me, but we had to visit an aunt that I don't like very much. My parents promised we'd be there for an hour, so we ended up staying there for six! My friend and I got high off of orange juice and boredom.

I also refused to drink anything but chocolate milk, so my mum said that regular milk was chocolate milk in disguise, and chocolate milk was regular milk.
I'm an idiot xD

Lol, same about the time thing. :L

You know the stuff that goes into the side of your eyes when you wake up? Well, my mom said that was a cat pooping on me. :P

GD, eww! ;D

Hey, it was my mom who said it! :P

A cat! What the...?

Yeah... my parents are Asian, deal with it xD

My mom once told me that every time I didn't recycle, I killed a penguin in Antartica. O.O

IDK why, but it worked, nonetheless. XD

Lol!

And to think, this was when I was little, and I was so emotional (and completely naive). In fact, I accidentally didn't recycle a soda can one time and cried, thinking I killed a poor penguin. XD

But, now...I know me not recycling doesn't really kill them.

O RLY????

Yes RLY!! Gotta problem with dat? X3