Pilot [1.1]
Brennan: Tell me te tried "excuse me" first.
Angela: Ah, Sweetie. Yes, I did. Welcome home. Are te exhausted? Was Guatemala awful? Was it horribly backward?
Brennan: And yet, I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.
Angela: te know, diving head first in a pit of cadavers is no way to handle a messy breakup.
Brennan: Angela, nothing Pete and I ever did was messy.
Angela: [laughs] Then te weren't doing the right things.
Brennan: Look, I am sorry if I embarrassed te in front of your friends, but successivo time te should identify yourself before attacking me.
DHS Officer: Most people in this situation, what they do, is sweat.
Brennan: Guatemala. Genocide. How are te scary after that?
Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Brennan: Don't call me Bones and I do più than identify.
Bones: That’s the best te can do?
Booth: What?
Bones: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so te can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: Well at least I picked te up at the airport, huh?
Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.
Brennan: [to Booth] If te drive one più block, I'm screaming "kidnap" out the window.
Booth: te know, you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town.
Brennan: [laughs] Yes, I am. The successivo università is in Montreal. Parlez-vous français?
Booth: What's it going to take?
Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? te want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: te know, in my line of work, no clothes usually means a sex crime.
Brennan: In my line of work, it could also mean the victim favored natural fibers.
Zack: Your suit, for example, will outlast your Bones da decades.
Booth: When did she die?
Brennan: Ehh.
Zack: Ehh.
Booth: What does that even mean?
Zack: It means wait until our bug and slime guy takes a look.
Goodman: What's the rule, Mr. Addy?
Zack: te only Converse with PhDs. te do realize I'm halfway through two doctorates. Two halves make a whole, so mathematically speaking...
Goodman: Go polish a bone, Mr. Addy.
Goodman: Dr. Brennan, are te playing me?
Brennan: te know I'm no good at that.
Goodman: Hmm. Thus far. But te have a disturbingly steep learning curve.
(All looking at the hologram of a woman)
Brennan: Does anyone recognize her?
Zack: Not me.
Angela: Wait. Is that who I think it is?
Zack: The girl who had the affair with the Senator.
Booth: Her name is Cleo Louise Eller. The only daughter to Ted and Sharon Eller. Last seen approximately nine p.m., April 6th, 2003 leaving the cardio-deluxe gym on Kay Street. She didn’t even make it to her car.
Brennan: Pretty good memory.
Booth: Yeah, well it’s my job to find her.
Hodgins: Well in that case congratulations on your success.
Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Brennan: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.
Brennan: I hate psychology. It's a soft science.
Angela: I know, but people are mostly soft.
Brennan: Except for their bones.
Brennan: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with Bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Brennan: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from 'people' to 'men,' but I'm sure it means nothing.
Brennan: I hate psychology.
Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.
Hodgins: The Senator, ah, he is smart. He gets an intern pregnant, then murders her when it threatens his career. And he has the connections to get away with it.
Brennan: I hate it when te make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.
Hodgins: In a nutshell, anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Brennan: Take a sick day.
Booth: A case this big, the director is going to create a special investigation unit. And if I line my ducks up in a row, I can, maybe, head it up.
Brennan: I don't know what that means, but I think maybe I can be a duck.
Booth: What are te trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.
Brennan: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: Ahh, te know, it's like pornography. You'll know when te see it.
Brennan: te didn't come for your TV. te timed this for a booty call.
Zack: A good hypothesis withstands testing. That’s what makes it a good hypothesis.
Angela: Can I, as the only normal person in this room, say... eww?
Booth: He's got no sense of discretion, that kid. Typical squint.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints. te know, squint at things.
Brennan: Oh, te mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?
Booth: te expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Brennan: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.
Oliver: Will te sign my book?
Brennan: Stalk me, Oliver, and I will kick your ass.
Oliver: He killed Cleo?
Booth: Yeah, he did.
Oliver: Then I'm okay with him bleeding to death.
Booth: That guy bleeds to death, Bones will go on trial for attempted murder. te don't want that, do you?
Oliver: No.
Booth: Plus, I understand that applying pressure to a wound can be extremely painful.
Angela: Is the FBI going to lay charges against Brennan?
Hodgins: She only shot him in the leg... once.
Booth: She didn't give him a warning. She just shot him... with alcohol on her breath.
Goodman: It was her first shooting, te can't expect her to be perfect right out of the gate.
Zack: How much warning did te give people before te sniped them?
The Man in the S.U.V. [1.2]
Brennan: He thinks just because Masruk's wife started working out and had a little makeover, she's having an affair.
Angela: Hmm, and how long were they married?
Booth: Eleven years.
Angela: I'm with him.
Brennan: There's no concrete proof.
Angela: Boobs perkier?
Booth: Mmm hmm.
Brennan: I don't believe this. If you're so sure, then why didn't te confront her?
Angela: Because if she and her boyfriend were involved, she would warn him.
Booth: Very good.
Angela: I'm a constant surprise.
Brennan: Isn't the FBI working on that?
Hodgins: Yes. It's just for fun.
Brennan: To see who's better?
Hodgins: Maybe. A little. Yeah.
Brennan: Good luck.
Booth: Can we talk about something else?
Brennan: Sure. Tessa?
Booth: Tessa!? No. Why do te want to talk about Tessa?
Brennan: What? Why? Why not? We won't talk about Tessa.
Booth: Okay, what's so funny?
Brennan: I just never figured te being in a relationship.
Booth: Why? Do te think somethings wrong with me?
Brennan: Not wrong. te just have alpha male attributes usually associated with a solitary existence.
Booth: What me? You're solitary.
Brennan: No no, I'm private.
Agent Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Brennan: Then why don't I destroy my notes and let te guarantee the identity of the remains.
Angela: Too bad we can't tell why he did it. Isn't that what we all want to know?
Hodgins: Someone seems really defensive about the FBI lately. te realize Booth is just another government stooge?
Angela: [referring to Brennan] Please, she's been sleeping alone for months! She has enough pent up sexual energy to power a small mid-western city.
Angela: There is trouble in paradise!
Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Angela: Tessa does not feel secure in that relationship. I think she's threatened da you!
Brennan: te talked to her?
Angela: Well, she didn’t say much but even though she has a phenomenal figure she was chowing down on a fat free muffin, and she was Leggere a book about unsolved FBI cases. Ah... She’s obviously feeling insecure.
Hodgins: She's spying for you?
Brennan: No, no!
Zack: They have nothing in common. It's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction. And we hear it's been a while.
Zack: Isn't that the FBI's job?
Hodgins: What, te trust the FBI? te realize those guys are gonna suppress whatever they need to cover their asses!
Zack: [to Brennan] I found a portion of the clavicle.
Hodgins: Are te even listening?
Zack: No.
Hodgins: They have a separate division te know. That way their hands are always clean. In 1970...
Brennan: Jack! We're trying to work!
Zack: If Smoky here had access to the president, why would he attack a café?
Brennan: Smoky?
Zack: It's how I deal with stress.
Hodgins: Targeting everyday places causes panic. People stay home, the economy is crippled. It's Terrorism 101, man.
Angela: [to Booth] So, how many nights a week does "Sexy" sleep over?
Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people da using God to justify mass murder.
Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.
Brennan: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. te can always count on the dead.
Booth: Trying to track down the doctor?
Brennan: Don't need him. It's definitely a toxin, but we can't determine what kind.
Zack: Too bad the liver is cooked; that could tell us everything.
Booth: te know, I need subtitles walking in here.
Hodgins: I graduated superiore, in alto of my class, Rhodes Scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but [Brennan] still makes me feel like a cretin.
Zack: She apologized to me.
Angela: I think [Booth] likes you. God, if I were you, I'd buy a ticket on that ride.
The Boy In The albero [1.3]
Zack: She detto take a hint, but when I asked "what hint?" Naomi detto if she told me what hint that it wouldn't be a hint anymore, it would be a statement.
Zack: I understood the individual words but I do not comprehend her meaning.
Angela: Did te tell Naomi that?
Zack: Yes. She detto ask your Friends if I have any.
Booth: Ah, te know I'm glad we had that little chat about being nice to the locals.
Brennan: I don't like sheriffs. They are elected into office which means their goal is being re-elected, not finding the truth.
Booth: Can te identify him through the serial number?
Brennan: That's correct but the interesting thing is that...
Booth: Ah, te can fill me in later.
Brennan: No, but the interesting thing is that it's...
Booth: That is correct.
Brennan: What?
Booth: That is interesting.
Brennan: Are te drunk o something?
Booth: Ah, we'll catch up later and uh, thanks for calling.
Brennan: Wait, I'm not completely certain the boy's death was a suicide.
Booth: Ah, te know, we'll grab some Chinese Cibo and te can fill me in later on all the boring details.
[At the lab after the "boring details" phone call.]
Booth: What do te mean it's not a suicide? [A post leading up the stairs to the podium starts to beep and flash red rapidly.] What the hell is that?
Brennan: We can't just let anyone step into the forensics area and contaminate all the boring details.
Booth: The boring details - [to Zack] Do not push me kid. [to Brennan] The boring details was my signal for te to stop talking, okay? I want my own card.
Brennan: Well, I want my own gun.
Booth: Last time te had a gun te shot someone.
Zack: He was a bad guy.
Booth: Okay look, who's our victim?
Brennan: All the boring details?
Booth: Let it go Bones, sposta on.
Brennan: Don't call me Bones.
Booth: I don't... I don't like people who think they're better then other people.
Brennan: Some people are better than other people.
Booth: Uh, te know what te detto right there that is so un-American. All men are created equal, either te believe that o te don't.
Brennan: Some people are smarter then others, there's no use being offended da the fact. What are we going to tell Nester's parents?
Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. We're looking into it. Sorry for your loss and we are.
Brennan: What?
Booth: Sorry for their loss. It's sad. Try to remember that.
Brennan: Uh, I'm not a sociopath.
Booth: You're bad with people, okay. No use being offended da the fact.
Zack: What did Naomi mean when she detto take a hint?
Hodgins: Ooh.
Zack: What did I do wrong?
Hodgins: It's not what te did wrong. It's what te didn't do.
Zack: Where do te learn this stuff?
Hodgins: There are some things te learn da doing… riding a bike, driving a car, pleasing a woman.
Zack: I can't ride a bike o drive a car.
Hodgins: o apparently please a woman.
Zack: I need specific instructions, a lista of techniques to implement o a sequence of moves.
Hodgins: I'm not really the guy to talk to about that.
Zack: Why not? You've slept with like ten thousand women.
Brennan: te know what's a better question? What makes te think te get to decide what's relevant? You're basically the principal of a high school.
Booth: Maybe if te looked for più than the facts, te would be able to see the bigger pic-
Brennan: Maybe if te opened your mind we could find out the actual truth.
Zack: I had sex with Naomi in Paleontology.
Angela: te mean actually in Paleontology?
Zack: No, at her place. I thought it went great but I could be wrong because apparently what I think is wild and kinky is basic and since she never called me back I'm wondering if it's because I lack imagination in the sack.
Angela: te know what Zack? I’m thinking this is più of a guy-guy conversation.
Zack: Sometime when you're not busy, I was wondering if I could ask te a few domande about sexual positions.
Booth: If te even try, I will take out my gun and shoot te between the eyes.
Booth: Well, this is where a public school education comes in handy. "Divide and conquer" was the playground motto.
Booth: We’ve got a dead body in a prep school out in the sticks.
Bones: Good morning to te too.
Zack: You're successful with woman, right? I mean, they like you?
Booth: Okay, look it's a very prestigious prep school with a lot of rich kids.
Bones: I thought that it was good to start with a "good morning."
Zack: (to Booth) If a woman detto to te take a hint, what would that mean?
Booth: Could we just concentrate on the job? Thank you. Now I know the sheriff out there. She’s mostly okay, but the school got a lot of pull with the county and she's probably trying to scrape the whole case off on us. Look, what I'm trying to say is… it's not just a crime scene but it's a political situation so when we get out there te follow my lead and te pay attention.
Zack: (to Booth) te call after every sexual encounter, right? 'Cause that's the good thing to do.
Booth: Look, this is a work mode. This is a work zone. We do not talk sex at work.
Bones: First, te tell me I'm too task oriented. Then, when I say good morning, te say that I should concentrate on the job.
Booth: Okay look, we've got about a forty-five minuto drive, what do te say we pass it in quiet meditation.
Angela: When you're with someone, the gymnastics aren't what matter. It's who te are. It's in your intentions and how much te care about the other person.
Zack: If te don't want to help me just say so.
Angela: Alright, I'm going to let te in on a secret. This is a female secret. Go to Naomi and tell her te don’t know anything about lovemaking... sex yeah... lovemaking you're a blank slate. You'll do anything she wants if she just introduces te to the secrets of love. She'll be più interested in that then if te were the most imaginative lover on the planet
Zack: That is totally counterintuitive.
Angela: Just do it, Z-man. Reap the benefits of my sexual wisdom.
The Man in the orso [1.4]
Brennan: An autopsy on an animal is called necropsy.
Booth: Yeah, it's pretty crucial we get that straight right off the bat. Meanwhile, about the dead human being?
Brennan: Residual attraversare, croce section striae.
Booth: Hmm... Just because te say it in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.
...
Brennan: I'm not going to Washington State.
Booth: Again, just because te say in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.
Brennan: Why is Booth the one who decides if we are going to Washington state? He gets the gun and the authority. He's the one that people like.
Dr. Goodman: Firstly, he didn't decide that te go to Washington state. He made a request. I'm the one who decides where te do and do not go.
Brennan: And secondly?
Dr. Goodman: Secondly, It's time to live a little, Temperance. Connect with other people.
Brennan: Are te suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?
Dr. Goodman: Good God, where's Dr. Freud when te need him?
Brennan: I don't understand what te are saying.
Dr. Goodman: Which is precisely why I am sending te to the great north woods. C'mon now, te have partially digested human remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face. The mosquitoes out there are the size of dogs, pack insect repellent.
Booth: te know being cooped up in a crappy hotel in the middle of nowhere with a fifty dollar per diem is not my idea of a good time either, te know.
Brennan: te only get fifty dollars a day? How do te live on that?
Booth: Okay, what do te mean? What do te get?
Brennan: I don't have a limit, I just give them the receipts.
Booth: Oh no, te have to have a limit. Everyone has a limit. We work for the government.
Brennan: I don't have a limit.
Booth: But it's not fair. It's not fair to the tax payers. te could get one of those thousand dollar toilet seats.
Brennan: I imagine I'm treated differently then te because I have an indispensable skill.
Booth: Oh right, indispensable. I do not need you.
Brennan: Oh, so te can determine the origin of the curf marks as well as the sex and age of the victim?
Booth: [laughs] te know, you're a smart ass. te know that?
Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.
Booth: te know, it's beautiful here, feels good to be out of the city.
Brennan: Yeah, where murderers feed their victims to bears.
[Brennan enters Charlie's shop, carrying the human hand in a box]
Charlie: Need a hand?
Brennan: Thanks, but I'm trying to get rid of this one.
Charlie: [grabs the form Brennan filled out] Hey, Temperance Brennan, I'm Leggere your book. Gave me a few ideas if I ever want to kill someone and get rid of the body.
Brennan: [laughs] Don't forget, Charlie, the heroine always catches the bad guy.
Booth: Oh yeah, now that you've met Bones you're all about the inner agency cooperation.
Sheriff: Bones? Now I don't think that is any way to talk to a lady.
Hodgins: All I am saying is, why cut somebody into pieces?
Zack: Pack'em up tighter maybe, say in a suitcase.
Hodgins: How did a orso open a suitcase?
Zack: I saw a documentary once where a orso got into a car and drove away.
Hodgins: That was not a documentary, it was a cartoon.
Sherman: Did te ever hear of the bone gatherers, collecting Bones so that the dead can make their journey to the successivo world?
Brennan: Not even sure I believe in the successivo world.
Sherman: Doesn't matter what te believe in. You're a bone gatherer. That's a good thing, helping the spirits sposta on.
Brennan: Thank you. It's probably the best job descrizione I will ever get.
Charlie: Do te do all the stuff the girl in your book does?
Brennan: I'm slightly uncomfortable discussing that with you.
Charlie: No, I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about the running and the shooting. I mean, if te do do all that other stuff that's great too, for te and, um, whoever you're doing it with.
Brennan: We don't just have a killer on our hands, we have a cannibal.
Brennan: I've never been offered human flesh before.
Booth: But what if te had?
Brennan: It's an interesting question. I would have to measure my own social inculcation against scientific inquiry.
Booth: Okay, that's sick.
[Talking da computer web cam]
Angela: ciao Booth, I have kind of a thing for tattoos. te got any?
Brennan: Angela!
Angela: I'm sorry sweetie but what's with that town? te gettin' any from that hot overnight guy?
Brennan: Ang, we're trying to work.
Angela: Is that town totally wasted on te sweetie, because I take this as a sign from God to loosen up. te know what they say, "what happens in Aurora stays in Aurora."
[Brennan and Booth in the car and Brennan is talking to Angela on the phone]
Angela: So did te catch the guy?
Brennan: No, Booth Lost him in the woods.
Booth: Whoa, wait a second. I didn't lose him.
Brennan: Well, te didn't catch him.
Angela: So te two have the night free?
Brennan: Yes, we can't do anything until I get a determination on that meat and Booth has to wait until it’s light to look for the guy he lost.
Booth: I didn't lose him, okay. He, uh, tell her that my flashlight died.
Brennan: She doesn't care.
Angela: What?
Booth: Give me the phone.
Brennan: [Holds phone away] It's not sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza to drive and talk on the cell phone.
Angela: Are te two fighting?
Booth: Professional pride, tell her, please tell her that.
Brennan: Booth wants te to know that he Lost the guy because his flashlight died.
Booth: And because he's an Indian and he's a park ranger and he's very very familiar with the territory. Tell her that.
Brennan: Did te hear that?
Angela: Yeah, something about Indian Territory.
Brennan: Yeah, she says she understands.
[Booth has taken off his tie and unbuttoned the first couple buttons on his shirt]
Bones: What happened to your shirt?
Booth: Well, we’re in a bar, it’s a look.
Brennan: Everybody is pumping me.
Booth: I'm sorry?
Brennan: For information on the case.
Booth: Bones, they're only pretending to be interested in the case.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: They're hitting on you.
Brennan: [laughs] Are te sure?
Booth: Yes, I'm sure. You're the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.
Angela: [to Hodgins] Did te work all night?
Hodgins: Yes, I shaved the truffle.
Angela: Is that anything like spanking the monkey?
Hodgins: I found boaring dust.
Angela: Is there any other kind?
Hodgins: Boaring dust is produced da beetles which mean the albero the truffle grew on was infested.
Zack: That's not going to impress Toni.
Hodgins: That's not why I did it. I did it to serve justice and capture a murderous cannibal.
Angela: That'll impress the hot courier.
Hodgins: I am back in the game.
Booth: Dr. Randall, if you... can te just bite these?
Denise: And if I were your cannibal, would I have pointed out that there were human Bones in the orso after the autopsy?
Brennan: An autopsy on an animal is called a necropsy.
Denise: Yeah, there's a reason I get all the guys and te don't. [She bites down on the dental mold.] Let me tell ya, if I ate Adam there wouldn't be anything left.
Brennan: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Booth: The part that isn't me. Just stay back.
Dr. Rigby: te don't understand it's a spiritual right to share the life force…
Booth: Look, you're nuts, okay, we get it. We don’t need to hear the rambling psycho speech on why te did it.
Dr. Rigby: You're an anthropologist. te know that ancient civilizations would sacrifice some in order to preserve the strength... [Brennan hits him from behind in the head with a bedpan. He goes down on the floor.]
Booth: What'd te do that for?
Brennan: Nobody wants to hear that rambling psycho speech.
Booth: A bedpan? Hmm.
Hodgins: What are te doing here?
Angela: Are te kidding? It's like watching the clash of the horny titans.
Brennan: And to think I didn't want to come here with you. I mean, this was a fascinating case. te don't often find ritual cannibalism practiced so close to home.
Booth: Which I find a plus.
Brennan: There are always those individuals within a species who are driven to break the most basic taboos. I mean, Rigby actually ate human flesh.
Booth: Bones, I just got my bistecca and eggs.
Brennan: Rigby has a prion disease, which means he’s been a cannibal for quite some time. Do te realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense?
Booth: The guy is nuts.
Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, o was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, o did he just lick his fingers after surgery?
Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.
Brennan: o as an alternative, just don't eat people.
Sheriff: We see this kind of thing all the time. Kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project.
Bones: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: It’s a horror movie, Bones. Didn’t make any sense.
Sheriff: It was scary, though... with the... bloody handprints.
Bones: te know I’m going come back up here this winter. Charlie says the sciare, sci is great.
Booth: Oh, it’s Charlie?
Bones: Yeah, the overnight guy.
Booth: Yeah, I know who he is.
Bones: I bet he’s a great skier. His hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability.
Booth: (disgustedly, he drops his fork) That’s it, I’m done.
Bones: What? No good? te want some mais flakes? (she holds up the spoon and tries to feed him) Want some?
Booth: No.
A Boy In a cespuglio, bush [1.5]
[Brennan is giving a lecture and has opened up the floor for questions. Booth is in the audience and stands up]
Booth: I have a domanda regarding the FBI in your book. Who do te base brilliant and insightful Special Agent Andy Lister on?
Dr. Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Booth: 'Cause, te know, I'm pretty sure it was me.
[Booth and Brennan approach her car, a silver Mercedes convertible.]
Booth: te gotta be kidding me.
Brennan: What? My publishers gave it to me.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Book sales are pretty good. It's supposed to be a nice car.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Well, why'd te park it crooked?
Brennan: The guy told me to always park it like that.
Booth: He's wrong. Makes te look like an idiot.
Cop: te mind if I make an observation?
Brennan: No, of course not.
Cop: In your book, the cops come off as very one-dimensional. Why is that?
Brennan: te mean two-dimensional.
Zack: One-dimensionality exists only in theory as a mathematical value.
Cop: O-kay. Really looking inoltrare, avanti to your successivo book.
Brennan: Did te bring the thermal imager?
Zack: I don't think we need it. [Brennan glares at him] It makes me look like the Great Gazoo.
Brennan: Okay, I don't know what that means, but we definitely need it, Zack.
Booth: [to Zack, in the thermal imaging suit] How's it going there, Darth? Seen anything on Saturn? [to Brennan] Please tell me you've seen at least one stella, star Wars movie.
Brennan: When I was seven, and leave Zack alone.
Dr. Goodman: When I detto te should think of this invitation as a summons I understated it. It's a subpoena, a Grand Jury subpoena. Ignore it at your own peril.
Brennan: You're not going to fuoco us if we don't go.
Dr. Goodman: No, not fuoco you, but I can sposta your parking spots to lot M. Enjoy the shuttle ride.
Zack: The shuttle smells like feet.
Zack: These are the smallest remains I've ever worked on.
Brennan: That's a valid observation, Zack, but it's not helpful to the investigation.
Zack: Sorry, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: I was at Waco. Branch Davidian compound. I helped identify children who had been killed in the fire, seventeen of them.
Zack: So you're saying I'll get used to it?
Brennan: No, I'm saying te will never get used to it. We're primates, social creatures, it's coded into our DNA to protect our young, even from each other.
Zack: So I'm always going to feel terrible?
Brennan: What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just... put your cuore in a box.
Zack: I'm not good with metaphor, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: Focus on the details.
Zack: Details, yeah, I can do that.
Brennan: Any way to enhance it?
Angela: Well, I wouldn't bet a data with Colin Farrell on it.
Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela: Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell.
Brennan: I'm afraid Angela might quit.
Booth: I'm amazed she stuck it out this long.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Well, because she's human. I'm sorry, Bones, it's just that, te know Angela didn't get the same training the rest of te got on planet Vulcan.
Booth: Whoa. He must be one of those Hodgins-es.
Zack: Who are those Hodgins-es?
Booth: I mean the Cantilever Group Hodgins.
Angela: Oh, my God.
Zack: The Same Cantilever Group that generates più GNP than Europe?
Angela: Get this: they're the single biggest donors to the Jeffersonian Institute.
Booth: Ha! That makes Hodgins your boss!
Booth: Okay, if te can't see the guy's face, maybe te can grab a reflection.
Zack: [impressed] That's a workable idea.
Booth: Well, I'd say thanks, te know, if te didn't say it like it was some kind of miracle.
Hodgins: Chem Lab mass spectrometer identifies the particulates in Charlie Sanders' mouth as fluoride. [Brennan is staring at her computer screen] I know that look.
Brennan: What?
Hodgins: You're Scrivere another book. When te write te get this stunned look on your face like te stuck a fork in a toaster.
Brennan: Do te remember me, Sean?
Sean Cook: You're the museum lady, the one who's so smart.
Brennan: Yeah, I'm pretty smart.
[outside the interrogation room]
Attorney: [sarcastically] And modest.
Booth: Oh, believe me, she is being modest.
Brennan: da the way, there's a huge ding in my passenger side door because te told me not to park it at an angle.
Booth: [laughs]
Brennan: Okay, that's just mean!
Dr. Goodman: te are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. te discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. te give victims back their faces, their identities, te remind us all of why we're here in the first place... because we treasure human life. [Angela tears up and hugs Dr. Goodman, Brennan walks in]
Brennan: What happened?
Zack: Apparently, all Angela needed was to hear her job descrizione in a deep, African-American tone.
The Man in the bacheca [1.6]
Angela: TGIF? te heard of that?
Brennan: Yeah, it's some kind of acronym, but my posta in arrivo is full.
Angela: We know that's not true.
Brennan: And there's a TV mostra that needs research. Not that they listen.
Angela: We're going.
Brennan: I really should catalog that skull, its in the museums exhibit on the French Revolution.
Angela: Yeah, Pepe Le Pu is più important then booze, and boys.
Brennan: I don't think that's his name.
Angela: We are so going to tear it up tonight.
Bones: Wait, that’s slang, right?
Angela: Right.
Bones: Is my costume alright?
Angela: Sweetie, it’s not a costume, it’s a cute outfit, and yes, it looks perfect.
[yelling over the music]
Bones: It’s so tribal.
Angela: Don’t say tribal, sweetie.
Bones: Why? Oh, because of all the black people?
[an argument has started over Bones' use of the word "tribal"]
Girl: No, fool. She's using Descartes' philosophy to say she's down with the music.
Other Girl: Who te calling a fool, fool? (fight breaks out)
Agent: Are te sure she can handle this?
Booth: Look, no one in our lab knows the first thing about dealing with a mummy. I would have had to call her in anyway.
Agent: She assaulted two agents who were trying to tape off the body.
Bones: They were trying to compromise the remains!
Agent: A nube, nuvola of Meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.
Booth: Are te two high?
Angela: Only da accident, so it doesn’t count.
[Bones is high]
Booth: te run this place, Mr. Hall, which is interesting to know, cause, te know, we found some drugs on this dead…
Bones: We found them. We found them.
Booth: Alright, we found some drugs on the dead guy. We’re going to want to know where they came from? Why he had them?
Bones: Why?
Booth: Why he had them?
Bones: Why he had them?
Hodgins: Chamomile tea? It's very soothing.
Brennan: No, I just need your results.
Hodgins: How about a stick to pry the monkey off your back?
Brennan: I grabbed a couple hours of sleep on my divano and showered in the lab's decontamination room.
Booth: Ooh, te really know how to live.
Hall: Rulz.
Booth: What rules?
Hall: That’s his name.
Bones: You’ve never danced?
Zack: I’ve been told I look like a marionette in a wind storm.
Bones: I’m not the one who’s snippy.
Booth: "Snippy?" What are you, like, seventy?
Bones: I think te should find a nice relaxing place to go on that vacation. Somewhere where te can get a massage, maybe do some yoga.
Booth: I don’t do yoga okay, push ups, sit ups, pull ups…that’s what I do.
Booth: Why exactly are we talking about this?
Bones: Because you’re tense.
Booth: Because we’re talking.
Bones: Yet much of the iconic quality of the urban Musica lies in the perceived o actual rivalry between the principal artists.
Hall: Where did te find her?
Booth: Museum.
Handler: I mean, so what, he drools a little. What’s up with that? te know, your eyes are kinda close together but I don’t comment.
Booth: I apologize.
Handler: Is he sincere?
Bones: (pauses, considers Booth) Yeah.
Handler: Alright then, we accept.
Bones: te did not murder Eve Warren.
Rulz: This is a weird kind of interrogation, huh? Cops telling me what I didn’t do.
Rulz: Mount was gonna jump.
Bones: te mean commit suicide?
Rulz: Where did te find her?
Booth: Museum.
Rulz: I mean labels, jump labels.
Booth: te know what? I’m going to spread the pain. Alright, that’s my new motto.(Booth turns and leaves. Bones chases behind him.)
Bones: Wait, I can help spread pain. Wait!
Bones: ciao Booth! Don’t break the cane. Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence.
Booth: What?
Bones: I need the cane.
Booth: Arrest him for what? (points to bodyguard) He’s the guy who pointed a gun at a Federal agent.
Bones: Uttering threats o smelling bad o anything.
Booth: Fine, here. Randal Hall, I’m placing te under arrest for the assault of a Federal agent.
Hodgins: Because te have arms like noodles while I'm vigorous and burly.
Bones: Not Booth. Booth did not baulk.
Angela: Sweetie, it’s always the guy.
Bones: No, Booth is not a baulker.
A Man on Death Row [1.7]
Booth: Name?
Brennan: te know my name.
Booth: Bones, te are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I have to follow protocol.
Brennan: Its ridiculous.
Booth: Fine. Then we're done here. Do te want to get some coffee?
Brennan: My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Brennan: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Brennan: It's the truth.
Booth: te know, I'm Scrivere "self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI."
Brennan: So I can shoot them.
Booth: Have te ever been charged with a felony?
Brennan: Charged o convicted?
Booth: Charged.
Brennan: te know I have.
Booth: I have to ask the questions.
Brennan: Bureaucratic nonsense.
Booth: Never the less, name of the arresting officer?
Brennan: You. [Booth gives her a look.] Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do te need me to spell that for you?
Booth: I can sound it out.
Booth: te can't have a gun.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because te were charged with a felony.
Brennan: Write down that te were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there's no spazio for that.
Brennan: Why did we go through all this if te were never going to give me a gun?
Booth: te have a constitutional right to apply for a weapon. I would never deny your constitutional right.
Brennan: Well uh, I need a gun.
Booth: Rules are rules.
Brennan: Tell them that I shot a murderer who was going to light me on fire.
Booth: Which is why te weren't convicted, but te did shoot an unarmed man. I... I can't ignore that. I swore an oath to protect society from people who shoot people.
Brennan: It was only his leg, and he's in jail for the rest of his life. How much is he going to use it anyway?
Amy: Am I interrupting?
Booth: I told them not to let te in this building. I gave them a picture.
Amy: Which is why I wore the tiny skirt.
Booth: Very cute.
Amy: te work with Booth?
Brennan: Yes, I'm a forensic anthropologist.
Amy: I'm a defense lawyer. I tend to work against Booth.
Booth: If it's all the same, I'd prefer te two didn't bond in any way.
[Hodgins and Zack are racing beetles]
Hodgins: What if they get mixed up?
Zack: I can tell them apart. [points to one] That's Jeff and [points to the other] that's Ollie. I win.
Hodgins: What? Wha... That one was mine!
Zack: te had Jeff. I had Ollie, Ollie won and te owe me a buck.
Hodgins: te want in on the action Angela?
Angela: No, thank you. I'm going to go have sex.
Angela: te sure te don't wanna come? Troy can call a friend.
Brennan: [looking at bones] I've been waiting months for these. It's a partial skeleton from southern France. It's...
Angela: te know the whole point of the week, is the weekend. This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. [Brennan stares at her] It's like describing the moon to a mole.
Booth: [notices the beetles] Okay, our tax dollars hard at work.
Hodgins: Yeah, what's break time at the FBI, book burning?
Angela: Look at this guy. He's cuter than a monkey with a puppy.
Booth: ciao Bones, what are te doing this weekend?
Brennan: I have plans.
Booth: Come on, I'm serious.
Brennan: Between your girlfriend the corporate lawyer and the defense lawyer on the side, your weekend must be completely booked. What is your thing with lawyers?
Booth: Uh, look seven years ago, a seventeen anno old girl, April Wright, was found beaten to death in a federal park. Okay? Amy is just trying to stop the guy who did it from being executed.
Brennan: So I guess we're not pursuing your lawyer obsession.
Brennan: Let's see if these shadows are bone fragments o something else.
Booth: Like what?
Brennan: Let's pretend we're objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture.
Brennan: Zack, get a driver to take te over to Greenbelt Park. I want te to take pictures of the area where the body was, ground covering, paved areas.
Booth: Why does he need a driver?
Zack: [embarrassed] I can't drive.
Booth: You’re a genius who can’t drive?
Zack: If te know what I know about con-structural design, te wouldn’t drive either.
[The phone starts ringing in the lab and Hodgins picks it up]]
Hodgins: Hodgins.
Zack: [on other end of phone] Most trecondi codes have a complex numerical cypher.
Hodgins: That's a fun factoid Zack, thank you.
Zack: 12402510221, that's the number they found on the victim.
Hodgins: Well, you’re the one with the photographic memory. I'm the one that's good with the ladies.
Troy: Hey? So uh, what exactly do they do here? Ah, I thought Angela was an artist.
Hodgins: She is. We do mostly forensic identification and reconstruction of discorporated remains. My specialty is entomology and particulates. Have te ever seen maggots? I just got these in.
Angela: Do not talk to him. Wait in the lounge, baby. It’s up those stairs right over there. Don’t talk to anybody.
Amy: So, te seeing each other?
Brennan: Who?
Amy: te and Booth.
Brennan: No. No, we're... we're working together.
Amy: Cause I'm picking up a bit of a sex vibe.
Brennan: No, that's tension. He has a girlfriend.
Amy: Tall, blonde, beautiful?
Brennan: Lawyer.
Amy: Figures... should've jumped him when I had the chance.
Brennan: You’re really interested in Booth?
Amy: te aren’t?
Brennan: No.
Amy: Well then why are te helping him?
Brennan: Because he asked me. He detto please.
Amy: Come on, te think he's hot?
Brennan: No, not at all. This is a very interesting case.
Amy: Booth did say te had some kind of mania for the truth.
Brennan: Mania as in maniac?
Amy: I'm not sure he meant it as a bad thing, [Brennan stares at her] which obviously is how you're taking it.
Brennan: There was doubt. We had an obligation to respect that doubt. We all share in the death of every human being.
Booth: Very poetic.
Brennan: No, very literal. We all share DNA. When I look at a bone it's not some artifact that I can separate from myself. It's a part of a person who got here the same way I did. It should never be easy to take someone's life. I don't care who it is.
The Girl in the Fridge [1.8]
Brennan: Angela, is this conversation really appropriate here?
Angela: Sorry, but I'm into alive people.
Zack: (excitedly) The Anthropology Journal is publishing our piece on the Coronals suture.
Brennan: Worthy interruption. (Zack offers his fist to her, she looks confused)
Zack: You're supposed to bump my fist with yours.
Brennan: Why?
Zack: I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success. (Puts his fist down)
Angela: I Amore it when te two impersonate earthlings.
Hodgins: Okay, now, this is weird. There's some guy in the lounge who asked me to give te this. (Hands a box to Brennan)
Angela: Is he alive? Because this is an excellent start to a relationship.
Hodgins: I didn't put a mirror under his nose o anything. (To Brennan) He detto that you'd know who he was when te opened it. (Brennan opens the package, inspects the contents, then hurries out of the room)
Angela: Okay, a guy that gets her to stop working? This I have to see. (Angela leaves the room, quickly followed da Hodgins and Zack)
Brennan: So why are te here?
Michael: George Washington università wants to talk to me about heading their Anthropology department.
Brennan: They'd be lucky to get you.
Michael: I assume they tried te first.
Brennan: I already had a job.
Hodgins: (Referring to Brennan and her gentleman caller) It's like watching cars mate.
Angela: It's got to be Michael. Stires. Her Forensic Anthropology professor from Northwestern. They were...
Hodgins: Very, very close? (Angela nods)
Zack: Dr. Brennan is my Forensic Anthropology professor. Does that mean -
Angela and Hodgins: (firmly, shaking their heads) No.
Zack: (to himself, trying to draw a logical conclusion) If she was his student, and I'm her student, then it follows...
Hodgins: Ain't gonna happen, Zack-O, not in this universe.
Brennan: (smiling) Not tonight. I have a dinner.
Booth:: (surprised) What? Wow. I just assumed that the two of te would be eating off an autopsy table.
Hodgins: Using a refrigerator to hide a body...kinda perfect isn't it?
Zack: A good way to remove the victim without being detected. The rubber gaskets foca, guarnizione in the odor.
Angela: Maybe the company should use that in their ads.
(Zack and Hodgins approach Michael like protective older brothers)
Hodgins: (arms crossed) te were Brennan’s professor?
Michael: She was twenty-three, an adult.
Hodgins: That’s what Clinton said.
Zack: te run through a lot of students?
Michael: That was a long time fa and Tempe was very advanced, più a colleague than a student.
Zack: I'm a pretty advanced student.
Michael: No offense, but I'm not interested.
Zack: No, uh, I meant me and her...
Hodgins: (laughs and bumps Zack's shoulder) Burn!
Angela: Where did te go to cena last night?.
Brennan: We wound up staying in. We need to know if that amount was accrued over time o was delivered in one large dose.
Angela: (delighted) te didn't come back to the lab, did you?
Michael: I made frittata.
Angela: (impressed) Oh, wow, he cooks too. Can we share him?
Booth: te know, when the regular stuff, when it gets old, te need to spice it up o it's over. The sex is good te don't need any help.
Brennan: (smirking to herself) Yeah, that's for sure.
Booth: Sorry?
Brennan: I was agreeing.
Booth: Yeah, well, don't. It kinda freaks me out.
Brennan: I was just saying that I myself feel not inclination towards pain o dominance when it comes to sex.
Booth: Are te sure?
Brennan: Yeah, I'm sure.
Booth: 'Cause te can be very bossy.
(She swats him with a crop from the evidence box)
Brennan:(triumphantly) Her legs were bound.
Zach: There are erosion patterns from the Bones rubbing together over time.
Booth: If this were the result of sex games, then the legs, they wouldn't be bound together. (Michael looks back at him skeptically) Oh, come on, te know? Lookin' for a little nooky, the last thing te tie together are the legs.
Booth: Bones. The judge is holding them without bail. The US attorney is thinking about sending te flowers.
Brennan: Facts are facts.
Booth: Uh, Bones, I have to ask - how much have te been sharing with, uh, the professor?
Brennan: (indignant) None of your business.
Booth: I mean on the case.
Booth: Bones, te okay?
Brennan: Why wouldn't I be?
Booth: Oh, 'cause the nutty professor's graded your paper. What'd give you, anyway? I was always happy with a B.
Brennan: I never got a B, and I never will.
Booth: That's my girl.
Jury Consultant: Juries don't like you.
Brennan: Excuse me?
Jury Consultant: I've seen te testify before, Dr. Brennan. te come off as cold and aloof. I want to make sure -
Brennan: Cold and aloof?
Jury Consultant: Try not interrupting, it makes te sound arrogant. Also, don't front load your testimony with technical crap.
Booth: (shaking his head warningly at the Jury Consultant) Look, this really is not the best approach.
Brennan: How I feel doesn't matter. My job doesn't depend on it.
Levitt: But it's informed da it. Are te as cold and unfeeling as te seem?
Brennan: I see a face on every skull. I can look at their Bones and tell te how they walked, where they hurt. Maggie Schilling is real to me. The pain she suffered was real. Her hip was being eaten away da infection from lying on her side. Sure, like Dr. Stires said, the disease could contribute to that if te take it out of context, but te can’t break Maggie Schilling down into little pieces. She was a whole person who fought to free herself. Her wrists were broken from struggling against the handcuffs. The Bones in her ankles were ground together because her feet were tied, and her side, her hip, and her shoulder were being eaten away da infection, and the più she struggled, the più pain she was in, so they gave her those drugs to keep her quiet. They gave her so much it killed her. These facts can’t be ignored o dismissed because te think I’m boring o obnoxious, because I don’t matter. What I feel doesn’t matter. Only she matters, only Maggie.
The Man in the Fallout Shelter [1.9]
Brennan: I don’t like Secret Santa. The idea that we are forced da convention to exchange meaningless gifts is…
Angela: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. If te rearrange Secret Santa though, te get Secret Satan.
Brennan: What possible meaning could that have?
Angela: I’ve already had an eggnog, if te can’t tell. Now, how am I going to enjoy this party knowing that my best friend in the whole world is in the lab, eyeball to eyeball, with Skeletor?
Brennan: Who?
Brennan: Booth, will te escort Angela to the Natale party and make sure she doesn’t photocopy her butt?
Brennan: I thought that te were at the party.
Booth: Oh, that wasn’t a party, that was a stella, star Wars convention.
Angela: Hey, whose fault is this?
Hodgins: Who forced me to go to the party where I drank too much and had to hide from Crystal?
Angela: Who never should have cut into a bone with a drunken fool in the room?
Zack: Who brought us human remains just to ditch a little paper work?
Booth: Oh, wait, you’re saying this is my fault?
Dr. Goodman: te knew Dr. Brennan could not resist.
Brennan: Well, I would have been able to resist if I was in Niger, where I wanted to be.
Booth: What are those little tiny lights dancing on the ceiling?
Dr. Goodman: For the third time, those are minuto firings of neurons on your optic nerve due to your reaction to the anti-fungal cocktail.
Booth: Wow, whoa. They’re beautiful.
Dr. Goodman: (laughs) te are stoned, Agent Booth.
Angela: It’s all so tragic. A cheap wedding ring sewn into his suit, two tickets to Paris, it makes te wonder who was the girl. Can te imagine what it was like for her, waiting and wondering never knowing what happened?
Brennan: I don’t have to imagine.
Booth: Bones, it’s after midnight. Hmm? Natale Eve Day. Both an eve and a day, it’s a Natale miracle.
Brennan: Still enjoying your medication, I see.
Booth: te don’t seem too upset about missing Christmas.
Brennan: Indications are that Christ, if he existed, was born in late spring and the celebration of his birth was shifted to coincide with the pagan right of the winter solace so that early Christians weren’t persecuted.
Booth: What are you, like, the Natale killer?
Brennan: It’s the truth.
Booth: No it sounds like the truth because it’s so rational, right? But the… te know, the true truth is te hate Natale so te just spout out all these facts and te ruin it for everyone else.
Brennan: I ruin the true truth with facts?
Angela: Alright, we need a way to choose our Secret Santa’s.
Zack: I could build a random generator.
Dr. Goodman: Wouldn’t it be better to match complimentary people in a premeditated manner?
Hodgins: I’ve got five numbers in my head and five letters. te tell me the number and I’ll tell te the matching letter.
Dr. Goodman: Are the letter sequential o are the numbers sequential?
Hodgins: Sequential, we'll go in order oldest to youngest.
Zack: Six.
Hodgins: There’s no six.
Dr. Goodman: A through E and 1 through 5?
Booth: (holds out a canister with their names written out on slips on paper in front of them) Just pick a name and if te get your own put it back in.
Dr. Goodman: Oh. That could work.
Hodgins: Yeah that’s good.
Angela: Good idea.
Brennan: Anthropologically speaking, gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now imagine an entire holiday devoted to self promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can te expect me to get behind that? How can te get behind that?
Booth: Wow, that’s…that’s deep. It’s a very deep pile of crap.
Brennan: te came to me with information this morning, a peace offering, but it was to make te feel better not me, proves my point. (points to picture) Any idea what this is?
Booth: No.
Brennan: Me neither, try Dr. Goodman.
Booth: te know Bones, te make it very very hard for me to be nice to you.
Hodgins: Puperia showed Lionel had valley fever.
Brennan: We sorta knew that.
Hodgins: Wow, was that a shot? Because I apologized. I mean, Goodman doesn’t get to see his family. Zack doesn’t get to see his family. Booth doesn’t get to see his son. At least I’m an accidental Grinch; with all due respect, you’re the Grinch on purpose.
Brennan: I have no idea what te are saying to me.
Hodgins: The Grinch is a relatively well known creation of a children’s autore named Dr. Seuss.
Brennan: I’m not really who te want to talk to about…Booth has a kid?
Hodgins: te didn’t know?
Brennan: No.
Hodgins: I wasn’t the one who told you.
Dr. Goodman: The girlfriend was in trouble.
Angela: Pregnant in trouble?
Hodgins: Ooh, apparently Careful Lionel wasn’t so careful.
Booth: Marry a pregnant girl in Oklahoma in the late fifties.
Dr. Goodman: Do te suppose Lionel came up here to procure an abortion?
Angela: te know what? This isn’t a very Natale Eve-type story.
Brennan: Of course it is, the whole Christ myth has been built upon the derails of an unwed mother.
Booth: Okay, could we just stop bringing up the whole Christ myth thing? Some people believe it is più than just a myth.
Brennan: Well, who besides you?
Dr. Goodman: That would be me Dr. Brennan. I’m a deacon at my church.
Angela: I do, Natale and Easter, anyway.
Hodgins: Although I believe organized religion is just another political movement designed to control the masses, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t Amore me.
Zack: Hey, I’m a rationalist empiricist all the way. Unless te talk to my mother. Then I’m Lutheran.
Angela: te have to find the girl and tell her what te know. Don’t te see? te can give her the answer that te never got.
Brennan: Wha…Angela.
Angela: I’m sorry, sweetie, but it’s true. te have a chance here.
Brennan: To say what? "Merry Christmas, Ivy Gillespie. Your fiancé was murdered and your life was ruined but hey, at least te get to know what happened to him."
Angela: Don’t te wish somebody had detto that to you?
Brennan: Yes. (she gets up and leaves)
Booth: te just gave somebody the best Natale gift they could ever get. Who’s the secret Santa now?
Brennan: Stop. (her voice activates the robot laying on the counter successivo to Booth. It starts doing push-ups. Booth looks at it)
Booth: Ooh. (laughs) That weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world.
The Woman at the Airport [1.10]
Brennan: (to Zack) X-rays, pictures, we’re going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.
Zack: Kid gloves?
Brennan: Latex should be alright. (pauses) Zack, were te being metaphoric?
Zack: I decided to give it a shot. Which is also metaphoric.
(Brennan’s office. She walks in and sees Booth sitting at her desk.)
Brennan: I need a receptionist. I can’t just have anybody waltzing in here.
Brennan: I can’t go to Los Angeles. I have an Iron Age warrior to authenticate.
Booth: Iron Age warrior, when was the Iron Age?
Brennan: Fifteen hundred years ago.
Booth: Fresh body bits, just a little più urgent.
Brennan: te do realize there are a lot più fresh bodies then there are perfect specimens from the Iron Age?
Booth: te know when te say things like that, it’s just to bug me, right?
(Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, CA. Booth is driving a blue mustang convertible.)
Brennan: This car doesn’t feel very FBI-y.
Booth: Bones, this is a nineteen sixty-six mustang. It’s a classic and what goes better than that with the FBI?
Brennan: How come on the rental agreement under "model," te made the guy write sedan?
Booth: C’mon. We’re in California. (puts his arm behind her shoulders.) Look, palm trees.
Brennan: te know, I like to drive sometimes.
Booth: Look, our contact out her is Special Agent Trisha Finn.
Brennan: I’m an excellent driver.
Booth: Okay, Rainman.
Brennan: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: I’m always gonna drive. te know that, right? Me behind the wheel and te over there on the grandma side.
Brennan: I’m not above telling Deputy Director Cullen what kind of car te rented. (cut to Brennan driving)
Hodgins: Look, there’s no bugs on him, haven’t been for over a thousand years.
Dr. Goodman: There may be spores and pollens, correct?
Hodgins: Probably not.
Dr. Goodman: Dozen of species of pollens have been discovered from the crustaceous era. How long fa was that?
Zack: (raises hand) Sixty-five million years. (Hodgins glares at him.) That was a pretty good comeback.
Hodgins: We all know that you’re going to say, "I’m unable to authenticate with confidence."
Zack: Why would he do that?
Hodgins: When te declare something authentic, te run the risk of being proven wrong. That doesn’t happen if te equivocate. As head of the Jeffersonian, Dr. Goodman will place the reputation of the institution over everything else.
Dr. Goodman: I’m an archaeologist. My findings will be congruent with the facts.
Hodgins: With all due respect, te used to be an archaeologist. (Hodgins and Dr. Goodman glare at each other)
Zack: I have no idea what’s going on between te two right now.
Dr. Goodman: His Bones orso the marks of battle. His weapons are of good quality, well used. He’s old for a warrior, yet how did he die Mr. Addy?
Zack: Looks like tuberculosis.
Dr. Goodman: A proud man. Not the ending he would have wanted, yet he was surrounded da family and friends, a good death. (Hodgins looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes, annoyed.)
Hodgins: Oh, please. Now you’re describing a scene from Lord of the Rings.
Booth: Okay guys, let’s turn our attention back to the murder victim. I’d like to go pay a visit to Dr. Boobs.
Finn: Why? If implants were stolen from him, he won’t know anything.
Booth: Because it’s the only lead that we’ve got, Finn, and leads are great for screenplays, o even, say, if you’re actually working a real case.
Zack: I have something for you.
Angela: (sighs) Is it chocolate?
Zack: No.
Angela: Then I find my interest has flagged.
Zack: This is the type of situation where someone says, "Oh, my God."
Hodgins: Pretend you're a person and say it.
Zack: Oh, my God.
The Woman in the Car [1.11]
Stacy: I’m Stacy Goodyear and joining me on 'Wakeup DC' is Dr. Temperance Brennan. She’s the autore of the best selling mystery novel, 'Bred in the Bone' and she’s also…now tell me if I get this wrong…an anthropologist who works with the FBI to solve crimes?
Brennan: Yes, that’s correct. I use the Bones of people who have been murdered o burned o blown up o eaten da animali o insects o just decomposed.
Stacy: Well, that’s exciting. Um, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over three hundred thousand copies. How do te juggle twin careers as a best selling autore and crime fighting scientist?
Brennan: Well I do one, then the other.
Pickering: Didn’t I see te on Televisione this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Brennan: How could I possibly know what te watched on television? (she sees Booth and starts to walk over to him) Booth, I have to talk to you.
Pickering: Yeah, it was definitely her.
(Talking about Brennan's TV interview)
Brennan: Okay, what did I do wrong?
Booth: Maybe successivo time tell a funny story. Oh, never say te don’t like children.
Brennan: I didn’t say I don’t like children. I just detto I don’t want any.
Booth: On TV that’s the same thing.
Brennan: te arrest someone really small lately? Car sede, sedile in the back.
Booth: Oh, I had Parker for the weekend.
Brennan: I don’t know how te do that.
Booth: Install a car sede, sedile in an FBI vehicle?
Brennan: Bring a kid into this world knowing what te know. I’ll bet Parker was an accident, right? Because his mother wouldn’t marry you? (Booth laughs and shakes his head) What?
Booth: It never occurred to te that that might be a sensitive topic.
Brennan: Well te could have gone with the very small felon story.
Booth: I’m better for Parker being in the world. Someday te will see that.
Brennan: No I won’t.
Booth: You’ll change your mind.
Brennan: Ah, I don’t do that.
Booth: te will.
Cullen: Well, at least nobody got shot. Probably cause she didn’t have a gun.
Pickering: When was the last time te saw your husband?
Angela: My husband?
Pickering: Yes.
Angela: Oh. (laughs) Oh. (chuckles) Wow, te mean that actually took? Really, it didn’t seem legal. We were in Fiji. te know, there was a fuoco dance. te know how those things can be, right?
Pickering: I really don’t, Miss Montenegro.
Angela: Right.
Booth: te know the ear te found? There’s no way it’s her own ear, right?
Brennan: How could it be her own ear?
Booth: That’s what I’m saying.
Brennan: What?
Booth: It’s definitely not her ear.
Brennan: How could she bite off her own ear?
Hodgins: Okay, okay, so you’re telling me that my toe chewing moron cousin was appointed to a secret post in a secret part of the government te can’t tell me about so te compiled a secret dossier on me, but I’m the one who’s paranoid.
Pickering: We don’t use the word dossier.
Hodgins: What was the finding? I…I still work here so…
Pickering: Harmless.
Hodgins: Harmless? I’m harmless?
Pickering: Yes, te do not pose a viable threat.
Hodgins: Well that’s just insulting.
Pickering: If te want me to interview you, I will, but I will only discover what we already know. te are benign.
Hodgins: I am not benign, lady. I’m not harmless. I’m malignant! I’m a loaded cannon…
Pickering: Thank te Dr. Hodgins. (she walks away)
Hodgins: I know things that would curdle your blood including a formula that literally curdles blood!
Pickering: Could we start please?
Zack: Anytime, I can do two things at once.
Pickering: Mr. Addy, I require your full attention.
Zack: No te don’t, but I’ll give it to you.
Pickering: What I need to do here is to establish that te are not a threat to the security of this country.
Zack: I’m getting a degree in Forensic Anthropology. I’m half way through another in Engineering. What are te afraid I will do? Build a race of criminal robots that will destroy the earth?
Pickering: Do te have that kind of fantasy often?
Zack: Very often.
Pickering: Does it concern te that such adolescent thoughts are a sign of emotional retardation?
Zack: I’ve been told. I’m working on it.
Pickering: Can te understand why that concerns us?
Zack: Not really.
Pickering: Hypothetically, te have a piece of information…
Zack: Secret and meaningful information?
Pickering: Yes, and the security of the country's at stake; can I bribe te to give it to me?
Zack: No.
Pickering: Threaten you?
Zack: No.
Pickering: What if I made a reasonable rational argument, very persuasive?
Zack: Merely persuasive?
Pickering: Irrefutable. I make an irrefutable argument as to why te should give me this piece of information. Would te do so?
Zack: Not without checking with Dr. Brennan o Angela first, see what they said, maybe Agent Booth if he would talk to me. He probably wouldn’t. I'd check with Dr. Hodgins but he’d say it was all part of some conspiracy... so I must only take his consigli on women. Four hundred and eighty volts…three hundred and fifty amps.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Zack: It's sorta secret information. I probably shouldn’t tell you. Any other questions? Good.
Booth: The material witness for a specially convened grand jury and te Lost him?
Weeks: The guy's pretty smart, genius level. Do te have any idea what it is like to interact with those types of people?
Booth: Yeah, a little.
Brennan: te just told me not to jump to a conclusion.
Booth: No offense intended.
Brennan: No, te were right! It’s just I usually get to tell you.
Booth: Well, our relationship has taken a whole new turn.
Booth: Alright, Zack! Zack! This guy Decker, he’s like you. He’s in the whole stratosphere IQ wise.
Zack: What's his IQ?
Booth: It's 163.
Brennan: Oh, he's not where Zack is.
Zack: If he's in the stratosphere, I'm in the ionosphere.
Decker: Look, analytically, I understand that many lives outweigh the one, but I cannot trade my son's life.
Weeks: Have te considered that da not testifying your wife will have died in vain?
Cullen: Shut it, Weeks. If te people had protected Mr. Decker and his family properly, we wouldn’t even be here.
Pickering: Can te tell me what te were doing in Cuba?
Brennan: Only if te tell me first.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Brennan: I don't know your security clearance.
Pickering: Well what is your security clearance?
Brennan: te should check with the state department.
Pickering: I'm from the state department.
Brennan: Then that should make it easy for you.
Brennan: Why don't we ever take my car?
Booth: Do te have bullet proof vests in the trunk?
Brennan: No.
Booth: That's why.
Brennan: Tell me te tried "excuse me" first.
Angela: Ah, Sweetie. Yes, I did. Welcome home. Are te exhausted? Was Guatemala awful? Was it horribly backward?
Brennan: And yet, I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.
Angela: te know, diving head first in a pit of cadavers is no way to handle a messy breakup.
Brennan: Angela, nothing Pete and I ever did was messy.
Angela: [laughs] Then te weren't doing the right things.
Brennan: Look, I am sorry if I embarrassed te in front of your friends, but successivo time te should identify yourself before attacking me.
DHS Officer: Most people in this situation, what they do, is sweat.
Brennan: Guatemala. Genocide. How are te scary after that?
Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Brennan: Don't call me Bones and I do più than identify.
Bones: That’s the best te can do?
Booth: What?
Bones: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so te can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: Well at least I picked te up at the airport, huh?
Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.
Brennan: [to Booth] If te drive one più block, I'm screaming "kidnap" out the window.
Booth: te know, you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town.
Brennan: [laughs] Yes, I am. The successivo università is in Montreal. Parlez-vous français?
Booth: What's it going to take?
Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? te want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: te know, in my line of work, no clothes usually means a sex crime.
Brennan: In my line of work, it could also mean the victim favored natural fibers.
Zack: Your suit, for example, will outlast your Bones da decades.
Booth: When did she die?
Brennan: Ehh.
Zack: Ehh.
Booth: What does that even mean?
Zack: It means wait until our bug and slime guy takes a look.
Goodman: What's the rule, Mr. Addy?
Zack: te only Converse with PhDs. te do realize I'm halfway through two doctorates. Two halves make a whole, so mathematically speaking...
Goodman: Go polish a bone, Mr. Addy.
Goodman: Dr. Brennan, are te playing me?
Brennan: te know I'm no good at that.
Goodman: Hmm. Thus far. But te have a disturbingly steep learning curve.
(All looking at the hologram of a woman)
Brennan: Does anyone recognize her?
Zack: Not me.
Angela: Wait. Is that who I think it is?
Zack: The girl who had the affair with the Senator.
Booth: Her name is Cleo Louise Eller. The only daughter to Ted and Sharon Eller. Last seen approximately nine p.m., April 6th, 2003 leaving the cardio-deluxe gym on Kay Street. She didn’t even make it to her car.
Brennan: Pretty good memory.
Booth: Yeah, well it’s my job to find her.
Hodgins: Well in that case congratulations on your success.
Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Brennan: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.
Brennan: I hate psychology. It's a soft science.
Angela: I know, but people are mostly soft.
Brennan: Except for their bones.
Brennan: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with Bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Brennan: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from 'people' to 'men,' but I'm sure it means nothing.
Brennan: I hate psychology.
Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.
Hodgins: The Senator, ah, he is smart. He gets an intern pregnant, then murders her when it threatens his career. And he has the connections to get away with it.
Brennan: I hate it when te make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.
Hodgins: In a nutshell, anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Brennan: Take a sick day.
Booth: A case this big, the director is going to create a special investigation unit. And if I line my ducks up in a row, I can, maybe, head it up.
Brennan: I don't know what that means, but I think maybe I can be a duck.
Booth: What are te trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.
Brennan: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: Ahh, te know, it's like pornography. You'll know when te see it.
Brennan: te didn't come for your TV. te timed this for a booty call.
Zack: A good hypothesis withstands testing. That’s what makes it a good hypothesis.
Angela: Can I, as the only normal person in this room, say... eww?
Booth: He's got no sense of discretion, that kid. Typical squint.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints. te know, squint at things.
Brennan: Oh, te mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?
Booth: te expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Brennan: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.
Oliver: Will te sign my book?
Brennan: Stalk me, Oliver, and I will kick your ass.
Oliver: He killed Cleo?
Booth: Yeah, he did.
Oliver: Then I'm okay with him bleeding to death.
Booth: That guy bleeds to death, Bones will go on trial for attempted murder. te don't want that, do you?
Oliver: No.
Booth: Plus, I understand that applying pressure to a wound can be extremely painful.
Angela: Is the FBI going to lay charges against Brennan?
Hodgins: She only shot him in the leg... once.
Booth: She didn't give him a warning. She just shot him... with alcohol on her breath.
Goodman: It was her first shooting, te can't expect her to be perfect right out of the gate.
Zack: How much warning did te give people before te sniped them?
The Man in the S.U.V. [1.2]
Brennan: He thinks just because Masruk's wife started working out and had a little makeover, she's having an affair.
Angela: Hmm, and how long were they married?
Booth: Eleven years.
Angela: I'm with him.
Brennan: There's no concrete proof.
Angela: Boobs perkier?
Booth: Mmm hmm.
Brennan: I don't believe this. If you're so sure, then why didn't te confront her?
Angela: Because if she and her boyfriend were involved, she would warn him.
Booth: Very good.
Angela: I'm a constant surprise.
Brennan: Isn't the FBI working on that?
Hodgins: Yes. It's just for fun.
Brennan: To see who's better?
Hodgins: Maybe. A little. Yeah.
Brennan: Good luck.
Booth: Can we talk about something else?
Brennan: Sure. Tessa?
Booth: Tessa!? No. Why do te want to talk about Tessa?
Brennan: What? Why? Why not? We won't talk about Tessa.
Booth: Okay, what's so funny?
Brennan: I just never figured te being in a relationship.
Booth: Why? Do te think somethings wrong with me?
Brennan: Not wrong. te just have alpha male attributes usually associated with a solitary existence.
Booth: What me? You're solitary.
Brennan: No no, I'm private.
Agent Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Brennan: Then why don't I destroy my notes and let te guarantee the identity of the remains.
Angela: Too bad we can't tell why he did it. Isn't that what we all want to know?
Hodgins: Someone seems really defensive about the FBI lately. te realize Booth is just another government stooge?
Angela: [referring to Brennan] Please, she's been sleeping alone for months! She has enough pent up sexual energy to power a small mid-western city.
Angela: There is trouble in paradise!
Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Angela: Tessa does not feel secure in that relationship. I think she's threatened da you!
Brennan: te talked to her?
Angela: Well, she didn’t say much but even though she has a phenomenal figure she was chowing down on a fat free muffin, and she was Leggere a book about unsolved FBI cases. Ah... She’s obviously feeling insecure.
Hodgins: She's spying for you?
Brennan: No, no!
Zack: They have nothing in common. It's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction. And we hear it's been a while.
Zack: Isn't that the FBI's job?
Hodgins: What, te trust the FBI? te realize those guys are gonna suppress whatever they need to cover their asses!
Zack: [to Brennan] I found a portion of the clavicle.
Hodgins: Are te even listening?
Zack: No.
Hodgins: They have a separate division te know. That way their hands are always clean. In 1970...
Brennan: Jack! We're trying to work!
Zack: If Smoky here had access to the president, why would he attack a café?
Brennan: Smoky?
Zack: It's how I deal with stress.
Hodgins: Targeting everyday places causes panic. People stay home, the economy is crippled. It's Terrorism 101, man.
Angela: [to Booth] So, how many nights a week does "Sexy" sleep over?
Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people da using God to justify mass murder.
Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.
Brennan: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. te can always count on the dead.
Booth: Trying to track down the doctor?
Brennan: Don't need him. It's definitely a toxin, but we can't determine what kind.
Zack: Too bad the liver is cooked; that could tell us everything.
Booth: te know, I need subtitles walking in here.
Hodgins: I graduated superiore, in alto of my class, Rhodes Scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but [Brennan] still makes me feel like a cretin.
Zack: She apologized to me.
Angela: I think [Booth] likes you. God, if I were you, I'd buy a ticket on that ride.
The Boy In The albero [1.3]
Zack: She detto take a hint, but when I asked "what hint?" Naomi detto if she told me what hint that it wouldn't be a hint anymore, it would be a statement.
Zack: I understood the individual words but I do not comprehend her meaning.
Angela: Did te tell Naomi that?
Zack: Yes. She detto ask your Friends if I have any.
Booth: Ah, te know I'm glad we had that little chat about being nice to the locals.
Brennan: I don't like sheriffs. They are elected into office which means their goal is being re-elected, not finding the truth.
Booth: Can te identify him through the serial number?
Brennan: That's correct but the interesting thing is that...
Booth: Ah, te can fill me in later.
Brennan: No, but the interesting thing is that it's...
Booth: That is correct.
Brennan: What?
Booth: That is interesting.
Brennan: Are te drunk o something?
Booth: Ah, we'll catch up later and uh, thanks for calling.
Brennan: Wait, I'm not completely certain the boy's death was a suicide.
Booth: Ah, te know, we'll grab some Chinese Cibo and te can fill me in later on all the boring details.
[At the lab after the "boring details" phone call.]
Booth: What do te mean it's not a suicide? [A post leading up the stairs to the podium starts to beep and flash red rapidly.] What the hell is that?
Brennan: We can't just let anyone step into the forensics area and contaminate all the boring details.
Booth: The boring details - [to Zack] Do not push me kid. [to Brennan] The boring details was my signal for te to stop talking, okay? I want my own card.
Brennan: Well, I want my own gun.
Booth: Last time te had a gun te shot someone.
Zack: He was a bad guy.
Booth: Okay look, who's our victim?
Brennan: All the boring details?
Booth: Let it go Bones, sposta on.
Brennan: Don't call me Bones.
Booth: I don't... I don't like people who think they're better then other people.
Brennan: Some people are better than other people.
Booth: Uh, te know what te detto right there that is so un-American. All men are created equal, either te believe that o te don't.
Brennan: Some people are smarter then others, there's no use being offended da the fact. What are we going to tell Nester's parents?
Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. We're looking into it. Sorry for your loss and we are.
Brennan: What?
Booth: Sorry for their loss. It's sad. Try to remember that.
Brennan: Uh, I'm not a sociopath.
Booth: You're bad with people, okay. No use being offended da the fact.
Zack: What did Naomi mean when she detto take a hint?
Hodgins: Ooh.
Zack: What did I do wrong?
Hodgins: It's not what te did wrong. It's what te didn't do.
Zack: Where do te learn this stuff?
Hodgins: There are some things te learn da doing… riding a bike, driving a car, pleasing a woman.
Zack: I can't ride a bike o drive a car.
Hodgins: o apparently please a woman.
Zack: I need specific instructions, a lista of techniques to implement o a sequence of moves.
Hodgins: I'm not really the guy to talk to about that.
Zack: Why not? You've slept with like ten thousand women.
Brennan: te know what's a better question? What makes te think te get to decide what's relevant? You're basically the principal of a high school.
Booth: Maybe if te looked for più than the facts, te would be able to see the bigger pic-
Brennan: Maybe if te opened your mind we could find out the actual truth.
Zack: I had sex with Naomi in Paleontology.
Angela: te mean actually in Paleontology?
Zack: No, at her place. I thought it went great but I could be wrong because apparently what I think is wild and kinky is basic and since she never called me back I'm wondering if it's because I lack imagination in the sack.
Angela: te know what Zack? I’m thinking this is più of a guy-guy conversation.
Zack: Sometime when you're not busy, I was wondering if I could ask te a few domande about sexual positions.
Booth: If te even try, I will take out my gun and shoot te between the eyes.
Booth: Well, this is where a public school education comes in handy. "Divide and conquer" was the playground motto.
Booth: We’ve got a dead body in a prep school out in the sticks.
Bones: Good morning to te too.
Zack: You're successful with woman, right? I mean, they like you?
Booth: Okay, look it's a very prestigious prep school with a lot of rich kids.
Bones: I thought that it was good to start with a "good morning."
Zack: (to Booth) If a woman detto to te take a hint, what would that mean?
Booth: Could we just concentrate on the job? Thank you. Now I know the sheriff out there. She’s mostly okay, but the school got a lot of pull with the county and she's probably trying to scrape the whole case off on us. Look, what I'm trying to say is… it's not just a crime scene but it's a political situation so when we get out there te follow my lead and te pay attention.
Zack: (to Booth) te call after every sexual encounter, right? 'Cause that's the good thing to do.
Booth: Look, this is a work mode. This is a work zone. We do not talk sex at work.
Bones: First, te tell me I'm too task oriented. Then, when I say good morning, te say that I should concentrate on the job.
Booth: Okay look, we've got about a forty-five minuto drive, what do te say we pass it in quiet meditation.
Angela: When you're with someone, the gymnastics aren't what matter. It's who te are. It's in your intentions and how much te care about the other person.
Zack: If te don't want to help me just say so.
Angela: Alright, I'm going to let te in on a secret. This is a female secret. Go to Naomi and tell her te don’t know anything about lovemaking... sex yeah... lovemaking you're a blank slate. You'll do anything she wants if she just introduces te to the secrets of love. She'll be più interested in that then if te were the most imaginative lover on the planet
Zack: That is totally counterintuitive.
Angela: Just do it, Z-man. Reap the benefits of my sexual wisdom.
The Man in the orso [1.4]
Brennan: An autopsy on an animal is called necropsy.
Booth: Yeah, it's pretty crucial we get that straight right off the bat. Meanwhile, about the dead human being?
Brennan: Residual attraversare, croce section striae.
Booth: Hmm... Just because te say it in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.
...
Brennan: I'm not going to Washington State.
Booth: Again, just because te say in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.
Brennan: Why is Booth the one who decides if we are going to Washington state? He gets the gun and the authority. He's the one that people like.
Dr. Goodman: Firstly, he didn't decide that te go to Washington state. He made a request. I'm the one who decides where te do and do not go.
Brennan: And secondly?
Dr. Goodman: Secondly, It's time to live a little, Temperance. Connect with other people.
Brennan: Are te suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?
Dr. Goodman: Good God, where's Dr. Freud when te need him?
Brennan: I don't understand what te are saying.
Dr. Goodman: Which is precisely why I am sending te to the great north woods. C'mon now, te have partially digested human remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face. The mosquitoes out there are the size of dogs, pack insect repellent.
Booth: te know being cooped up in a crappy hotel in the middle of nowhere with a fifty dollar per diem is not my idea of a good time either, te know.
Brennan: te only get fifty dollars a day? How do te live on that?
Booth: Okay, what do te mean? What do te get?
Brennan: I don't have a limit, I just give them the receipts.
Booth: Oh no, te have to have a limit. Everyone has a limit. We work for the government.
Brennan: I don't have a limit.
Booth: But it's not fair. It's not fair to the tax payers. te could get one of those thousand dollar toilet seats.
Brennan: I imagine I'm treated differently then te because I have an indispensable skill.
Booth: Oh right, indispensable. I do not need you.
Brennan: Oh, so te can determine the origin of the curf marks as well as the sex and age of the victim?
Booth: [laughs] te know, you're a smart ass. te know that?
Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.
Booth: te know, it's beautiful here, feels good to be out of the city.
Brennan: Yeah, where murderers feed their victims to bears.
[Brennan enters Charlie's shop, carrying the human hand in a box]
Charlie: Need a hand?
Brennan: Thanks, but I'm trying to get rid of this one.
Charlie: [grabs the form Brennan filled out] Hey, Temperance Brennan, I'm Leggere your book. Gave me a few ideas if I ever want to kill someone and get rid of the body.
Brennan: [laughs] Don't forget, Charlie, the heroine always catches the bad guy.
Booth: Oh yeah, now that you've met Bones you're all about the inner agency cooperation.
Sheriff: Bones? Now I don't think that is any way to talk to a lady.
Hodgins: All I am saying is, why cut somebody into pieces?
Zack: Pack'em up tighter maybe, say in a suitcase.
Hodgins: How did a orso open a suitcase?
Zack: I saw a documentary once where a orso got into a car and drove away.
Hodgins: That was not a documentary, it was a cartoon.
Sherman: Did te ever hear of the bone gatherers, collecting Bones so that the dead can make their journey to the successivo world?
Brennan: Not even sure I believe in the successivo world.
Sherman: Doesn't matter what te believe in. You're a bone gatherer. That's a good thing, helping the spirits sposta on.
Brennan: Thank you. It's probably the best job descrizione I will ever get.
Charlie: Do te do all the stuff the girl in your book does?
Brennan: I'm slightly uncomfortable discussing that with you.
Charlie: No, I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about the running and the shooting. I mean, if te do do all that other stuff that's great too, for te and, um, whoever you're doing it with.
Brennan: We don't just have a killer on our hands, we have a cannibal.
Brennan: I've never been offered human flesh before.
Booth: But what if te had?
Brennan: It's an interesting question. I would have to measure my own social inculcation against scientific inquiry.
Booth: Okay, that's sick.
[Talking da computer web cam]
Angela: ciao Booth, I have kind of a thing for tattoos. te got any?
Brennan: Angela!
Angela: I'm sorry sweetie but what's with that town? te gettin' any from that hot overnight guy?
Brennan: Ang, we're trying to work.
Angela: Is that town totally wasted on te sweetie, because I take this as a sign from God to loosen up. te know what they say, "what happens in Aurora stays in Aurora."
[Brennan and Booth in the car and Brennan is talking to Angela on the phone]
Angela: So did te catch the guy?
Brennan: No, Booth Lost him in the woods.
Booth: Whoa, wait a second. I didn't lose him.
Brennan: Well, te didn't catch him.
Angela: So te two have the night free?
Brennan: Yes, we can't do anything until I get a determination on that meat and Booth has to wait until it’s light to look for the guy he lost.
Booth: I didn't lose him, okay. He, uh, tell her that my flashlight died.
Brennan: She doesn't care.
Angela: What?
Booth: Give me the phone.
Brennan: [Holds phone away] It's not sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza to drive and talk on the cell phone.
Angela: Are te two fighting?
Booth: Professional pride, tell her, please tell her that.
Brennan: Booth wants te to know that he Lost the guy because his flashlight died.
Booth: And because he's an Indian and he's a park ranger and he's very very familiar with the territory. Tell her that.
Brennan: Did te hear that?
Angela: Yeah, something about Indian Territory.
Brennan: Yeah, she says she understands.
[Booth has taken off his tie and unbuttoned the first couple buttons on his shirt]
Bones: What happened to your shirt?
Booth: Well, we’re in a bar, it’s a look.
Brennan: Everybody is pumping me.
Booth: I'm sorry?
Brennan: For information on the case.
Booth: Bones, they're only pretending to be interested in the case.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: They're hitting on you.
Brennan: [laughs] Are te sure?
Booth: Yes, I'm sure. You're the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.
Angela: [to Hodgins] Did te work all night?
Hodgins: Yes, I shaved the truffle.
Angela: Is that anything like spanking the monkey?
Hodgins: I found boaring dust.
Angela: Is there any other kind?
Hodgins: Boaring dust is produced da beetles which mean the albero the truffle grew on was infested.
Zack: That's not going to impress Toni.
Hodgins: That's not why I did it. I did it to serve justice and capture a murderous cannibal.
Angela: That'll impress the hot courier.
Hodgins: I am back in the game.
Booth: Dr. Randall, if you... can te just bite these?
Denise: And if I were your cannibal, would I have pointed out that there were human Bones in the orso after the autopsy?
Brennan: An autopsy on an animal is called a necropsy.
Denise: Yeah, there's a reason I get all the guys and te don't. [She bites down on the dental mold.] Let me tell ya, if I ate Adam there wouldn't be anything left.
Brennan: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Booth: The part that isn't me. Just stay back.
Dr. Rigby: te don't understand it's a spiritual right to share the life force…
Booth: Look, you're nuts, okay, we get it. We don’t need to hear the rambling psycho speech on why te did it.
Dr. Rigby: You're an anthropologist. te know that ancient civilizations would sacrifice some in order to preserve the strength... [Brennan hits him from behind in the head with a bedpan. He goes down on the floor.]
Booth: What'd te do that for?
Brennan: Nobody wants to hear that rambling psycho speech.
Booth: A bedpan? Hmm.
Hodgins: What are te doing here?
Angela: Are te kidding? It's like watching the clash of the horny titans.
Brennan: And to think I didn't want to come here with you. I mean, this was a fascinating case. te don't often find ritual cannibalism practiced so close to home.
Booth: Which I find a plus.
Brennan: There are always those individuals within a species who are driven to break the most basic taboos. I mean, Rigby actually ate human flesh.
Booth: Bones, I just got my bistecca and eggs.
Brennan: Rigby has a prion disease, which means he’s been a cannibal for quite some time. Do te realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense?
Booth: The guy is nuts.
Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, o was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, o did he just lick his fingers after surgery?
Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.
Brennan: o as an alternative, just don't eat people.
Sheriff: We see this kind of thing all the time. Kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project.
Bones: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: It’s a horror movie, Bones. Didn’t make any sense.
Sheriff: It was scary, though... with the... bloody handprints.
Bones: te know I’m going come back up here this winter. Charlie says the sciare, sci is great.
Booth: Oh, it’s Charlie?
Bones: Yeah, the overnight guy.
Booth: Yeah, I know who he is.
Bones: I bet he’s a great skier. His hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability.
Booth: (disgustedly, he drops his fork) That’s it, I’m done.
Bones: What? No good? te want some mais flakes? (she holds up the spoon and tries to feed him) Want some?
Booth: No.
A Boy In a cespuglio, bush [1.5]
[Brennan is giving a lecture and has opened up the floor for questions. Booth is in the audience and stands up]
Booth: I have a domanda regarding the FBI in your book. Who do te base brilliant and insightful Special Agent Andy Lister on?
Dr. Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Booth: 'Cause, te know, I'm pretty sure it was me.
[Booth and Brennan approach her car, a silver Mercedes convertible.]
Booth: te gotta be kidding me.
Brennan: What? My publishers gave it to me.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Book sales are pretty good. It's supposed to be a nice car.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Brennan: Yeah.
Booth: Well, why'd te park it crooked?
Brennan: The guy told me to always park it like that.
Booth: He's wrong. Makes te look like an idiot.
Cop: te mind if I make an observation?
Brennan: No, of course not.
Cop: In your book, the cops come off as very one-dimensional. Why is that?
Brennan: te mean two-dimensional.
Zack: One-dimensionality exists only in theory as a mathematical value.
Cop: O-kay. Really looking inoltrare, avanti to your successivo book.
Brennan: Did te bring the thermal imager?
Zack: I don't think we need it. [Brennan glares at him] It makes me look like the Great Gazoo.
Brennan: Okay, I don't know what that means, but we definitely need it, Zack.
Booth: [to Zack, in the thermal imaging suit] How's it going there, Darth? Seen anything on Saturn? [to Brennan] Please tell me you've seen at least one stella, star Wars movie.
Brennan: When I was seven, and leave Zack alone.
Dr. Goodman: When I detto te should think of this invitation as a summons I understated it. It's a subpoena, a Grand Jury subpoena. Ignore it at your own peril.
Brennan: You're not going to fuoco us if we don't go.
Dr. Goodman: No, not fuoco you, but I can sposta your parking spots to lot M. Enjoy the shuttle ride.
Zack: The shuttle smells like feet.
Zack: These are the smallest remains I've ever worked on.
Brennan: That's a valid observation, Zack, but it's not helpful to the investigation.
Zack: Sorry, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: I was at Waco. Branch Davidian compound. I helped identify children who had been killed in the fire, seventeen of them.
Zack: So you're saying I'll get used to it?
Brennan: No, I'm saying te will never get used to it. We're primates, social creatures, it's coded into our DNA to protect our young, even from each other.
Zack: So I'm always going to feel terrible?
Brennan: What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just... put your cuore in a box.
Zack: I'm not good with metaphor, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: Focus on the details.
Zack: Details, yeah, I can do that.
Brennan: Any way to enhance it?
Angela: Well, I wouldn't bet a data with Colin Farrell on it.
Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela: Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell.
Brennan: I'm afraid Angela might quit.
Booth: I'm amazed she stuck it out this long.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Well, because she's human. I'm sorry, Bones, it's just that, te know Angela didn't get the same training the rest of te got on planet Vulcan.
Booth: Whoa. He must be one of those Hodgins-es.
Zack: Who are those Hodgins-es?
Booth: I mean the Cantilever Group Hodgins.
Angela: Oh, my God.
Zack: The Same Cantilever Group that generates più GNP than Europe?
Angela: Get this: they're the single biggest donors to the Jeffersonian Institute.
Booth: Ha! That makes Hodgins your boss!
Booth: Okay, if te can't see the guy's face, maybe te can grab a reflection.
Zack: [impressed] That's a workable idea.
Booth: Well, I'd say thanks, te know, if te didn't say it like it was some kind of miracle.
Hodgins: Chem Lab mass spectrometer identifies the particulates in Charlie Sanders' mouth as fluoride. [Brennan is staring at her computer screen] I know that look.
Brennan: What?
Hodgins: You're Scrivere another book. When te write te get this stunned look on your face like te stuck a fork in a toaster.
Brennan: Do te remember me, Sean?
Sean Cook: You're the museum lady, the one who's so smart.
Brennan: Yeah, I'm pretty smart.
[outside the interrogation room]
Attorney: [sarcastically] And modest.
Booth: Oh, believe me, she is being modest.
Brennan: da the way, there's a huge ding in my passenger side door because te told me not to park it at an angle.
Booth: [laughs]
Brennan: Okay, that's just mean!
Dr. Goodman: te are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. te discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. te give victims back their faces, their identities, te remind us all of why we're here in the first place... because we treasure human life. [Angela tears up and hugs Dr. Goodman, Brennan walks in]
Brennan: What happened?
Zack: Apparently, all Angela needed was to hear her job descrizione in a deep, African-American tone.
The Man in the bacheca [1.6]
Angela: TGIF? te heard of that?
Brennan: Yeah, it's some kind of acronym, but my posta in arrivo is full.
Angela: We know that's not true.
Brennan: And there's a TV mostra that needs research. Not that they listen.
Angela: We're going.
Brennan: I really should catalog that skull, its in the museums exhibit on the French Revolution.
Angela: Yeah, Pepe Le Pu is più important then booze, and boys.
Brennan: I don't think that's his name.
Angela: We are so going to tear it up tonight.
Bones: Wait, that’s slang, right?
Angela: Right.
Bones: Is my costume alright?
Angela: Sweetie, it’s not a costume, it’s a cute outfit, and yes, it looks perfect.
[yelling over the music]
Bones: It’s so tribal.
Angela: Don’t say tribal, sweetie.
Bones: Why? Oh, because of all the black people?
[an argument has started over Bones' use of the word "tribal"]
Girl: No, fool. She's using Descartes' philosophy to say she's down with the music.
Other Girl: Who te calling a fool, fool? (fight breaks out)
Agent: Are te sure she can handle this?
Booth: Look, no one in our lab knows the first thing about dealing with a mummy. I would have had to call her in anyway.
Agent: She assaulted two agents who were trying to tape off the body.
Bones: They were trying to compromise the remains!
Agent: A nube, nuvola of Meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.
Booth: Are te two high?
Angela: Only da accident, so it doesn’t count.
[Bones is high]
Booth: te run this place, Mr. Hall, which is interesting to know, cause, te know, we found some drugs on this dead…
Bones: We found them. We found them.
Booth: Alright, we found some drugs on the dead guy. We’re going to want to know where they came from? Why he had them?
Bones: Why?
Booth: Why he had them?
Bones: Why he had them?
Hodgins: Chamomile tea? It's very soothing.
Brennan: No, I just need your results.
Hodgins: How about a stick to pry the monkey off your back?
Brennan: I grabbed a couple hours of sleep on my divano and showered in the lab's decontamination room.
Booth: Ooh, te really know how to live.
Hall: Rulz.
Booth: What rules?
Hall: That’s his name.
Bones: You’ve never danced?
Zack: I’ve been told I look like a marionette in a wind storm.
Bones: I’m not the one who’s snippy.
Booth: "Snippy?" What are you, like, seventy?
Bones: I think te should find a nice relaxing place to go on that vacation. Somewhere where te can get a massage, maybe do some yoga.
Booth: I don’t do yoga okay, push ups, sit ups, pull ups…that’s what I do.
Booth: Why exactly are we talking about this?
Bones: Because you’re tense.
Booth: Because we’re talking.
Bones: Yet much of the iconic quality of the urban Musica lies in the perceived o actual rivalry between the principal artists.
Hall: Where did te find her?
Booth: Museum.
Handler: I mean, so what, he drools a little. What’s up with that? te know, your eyes are kinda close together but I don’t comment.
Booth: I apologize.
Handler: Is he sincere?
Bones: (pauses, considers Booth) Yeah.
Handler: Alright then, we accept.
Bones: te did not murder Eve Warren.
Rulz: This is a weird kind of interrogation, huh? Cops telling me what I didn’t do.
Rulz: Mount was gonna jump.
Bones: te mean commit suicide?
Rulz: Where did te find her?
Booth: Museum.
Rulz: I mean labels, jump labels.
Booth: te know what? I’m going to spread the pain. Alright, that’s my new motto.(Booth turns and leaves. Bones chases behind him.)
Bones: Wait, I can help spread pain. Wait!
Bones: ciao Booth! Don’t break the cane. Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence.
Booth: What?
Bones: I need the cane.
Booth: Arrest him for what? (points to bodyguard) He’s the guy who pointed a gun at a Federal agent.
Bones: Uttering threats o smelling bad o anything.
Booth: Fine, here. Randal Hall, I’m placing te under arrest for the assault of a Federal agent.
Hodgins: Because te have arms like noodles while I'm vigorous and burly.
Bones: Not Booth. Booth did not baulk.
Angela: Sweetie, it’s always the guy.
Bones: No, Booth is not a baulker.
A Man on Death Row [1.7]
Booth: Name?
Brennan: te know my name.
Booth: Bones, te are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I have to follow protocol.
Brennan: Its ridiculous.
Booth: Fine. Then we're done here. Do te want to get some coffee?
Brennan: My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Brennan: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Brennan: It's the truth.
Booth: te know, I'm Scrivere "self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI."
Brennan: So I can shoot them.
Booth: Have te ever been charged with a felony?
Brennan: Charged o convicted?
Booth: Charged.
Brennan: te know I have.
Booth: I have to ask the questions.
Brennan: Bureaucratic nonsense.
Booth: Never the less, name of the arresting officer?
Brennan: You. [Booth gives her a look.] Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do te need me to spell that for you?
Booth: I can sound it out.
Booth: te can't have a gun.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because te were charged with a felony.
Brennan: Write down that te were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there's no spazio for that.
Brennan: Why did we go through all this if te were never going to give me a gun?
Booth: te have a constitutional right to apply for a weapon. I would never deny your constitutional right.
Brennan: Well uh, I need a gun.
Booth: Rules are rules.
Brennan: Tell them that I shot a murderer who was going to light me on fire.
Booth: Which is why te weren't convicted, but te did shoot an unarmed man. I... I can't ignore that. I swore an oath to protect society from people who shoot people.
Brennan: It was only his leg, and he's in jail for the rest of his life. How much is he going to use it anyway?
Amy: Am I interrupting?
Booth: I told them not to let te in this building. I gave them a picture.
Amy: Which is why I wore the tiny skirt.
Booth: Very cute.
Amy: te work with Booth?
Brennan: Yes, I'm a forensic anthropologist.
Amy: I'm a defense lawyer. I tend to work against Booth.
Booth: If it's all the same, I'd prefer te two didn't bond in any way.
[Hodgins and Zack are racing beetles]
Hodgins: What if they get mixed up?
Zack: I can tell them apart. [points to one] That's Jeff and [points to the other] that's Ollie. I win.
Hodgins: What? Wha... That one was mine!
Zack: te had Jeff. I had Ollie, Ollie won and te owe me a buck.
Hodgins: te want in on the action Angela?
Angela: No, thank you. I'm going to go have sex.
Angela: te sure te don't wanna come? Troy can call a friend.
Brennan: [looking at bones] I've been waiting months for these. It's a partial skeleton from southern France. It's...
Angela: te know the whole point of the week, is the weekend. This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. [Brennan stares at her] It's like describing the moon to a mole.
Booth: [notices the beetles] Okay, our tax dollars hard at work.
Hodgins: Yeah, what's break time at the FBI, book burning?
Angela: Look at this guy. He's cuter than a monkey with a puppy.
Booth: ciao Bones, what are te doing this weekend?
Brennan: I have plans.
Booth: Come on, I'm serious.
Brennan: Between your girlfriend the corporate lawyer and the defense lawyer on the side, your weekend must be completely booked. What is your thing with lawyers?
Booth: Uh, look seven years ago, a seventeen anno old girl, April Wright, was found beaten to death in a federal park. Okay? Amy is just trying to stop the guy who did it from being executed.
Brennan: So I guess we're not pursuing your lawyer obsession.
Brennan: Let's see if these shadows are bone fragments o something else.
Booth: Like what?
Brennan: Let's pretend we're objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture.
Brennan: Zack, get a driver to take te over to Greenbelt Park. I want te to take pictures of the area where the body was, ground covering, paved areas.
Booth: Why does he need a driver?
Zack: [embarrassed] I can't drive.
Booth: You’re a genius who can’t drive?
Zack: If te know what I know about con-structural design, te wouldn’t drive either.
[The phone starts ringing in the lab and Hodgins picks it up]]
Hodgins: Hodgins.
Zack: [on other end of phone] Most trecondi codes have a complex numerical cypher.
Hodgins: That's a fun factoid Zack, thank you.
Zack: 12402510221, that's the number they found on the victim.
Hodgins: Well, you’re the one with the photographic memory. I'm the one that's good with the ladies.
Troy: Hey? So uh, what exactly do they do here? Ah, I thought Angela was an artist.
Hodgins: She is. We do mostly forensic identification and reconstruction of discorporated remains. My specialty is entomology and particulates. Have te ever seen maggots? I just got these in.
Angela: Do not talk to him. Wait in the lounge, baby. It’s up those stairs right over there. Don’t talk to anybody.
Amy: So, te seeing each other?
Brennan: Who?
Amy: te and Booth.
Brennan: No. No, we're... we're working together.
Amy: Cause I'm picking up a bit of a sex vibe.
Brennan: No, that's tension. He has a girlfriend.
Amy: Tall, blonde, beautiful?
Brennan: Lawyer.
Amy: Figures... should've jumped him when I had the chance.
Brennan: You’re really interested in Booth?
Amy: te aren’t?
Brennan: No.
Amy: Well then why are te helping him?
Brennan: Because he asked me. He detto please.
Amy: Come on, te think he's hot?
Brennan: No, not at all. This is a very interesting case.
Amy: Booth did say te had some kind of mania for the truth.
Brennan: Mania as in maniac?
Amy: I'm not sure he meant it as a bad thing, [Brennan stares at her] which obviously is how you're taking it.
Brennan: There was doubt. We had an obligation to respect that doubt. We all share in the death of every human being.
Booth: Very poetic.
Brennan: No, very literal. We all share DNA. When I look at a bone it's not some artifact that I can separate from myself. It's a part of a person who got here the same way I did. It should never be easy to take someone's life. I don't care who it is.
The Girl in the Fridge [1.8]
Brennan: Angela, is this conversation really appropriate here?
Angela: Sorry, but I'm into alive people.
Zack: (excitedly) The Anthropology Journal is publishing our piece on the Coronals suture.
Brennan: Worthy interruption. (Zack offers his fist to her, she looks confused)
Zack: You're supposed to bump my fist with yours.
Brennan: Why?
Zack: I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success. (Puts his fist down)
Angela: I Amore it when te two impersonate earthlings.
Hodgins: Okay, now, this is weird. There's some guy in the lounge who asked me to give te this. (Hands a box to Brennan)
Angela: Is he alive? Because this is an excellent start to a relationship.
Hodgins: I didn't put a mirror under his nose o anything. (To Brennan) He detto that you'd know who he was when te opened it. (Brennan opens the package, inspects the contents, then hurries out of the room)
Angela: Okay, a guy that gets her to stop working? This I have to see. (Angela leaves the room, quickly followed da Hodgins and Zack)
Brennan: So why are te here?
Michael: George Washington università wants to talk to me about heading their Anthropology department.
Brennan: They'd be lucky to get you.
Michael: I assume they tried te first.
Brennan: I already had a job.
Hodgins: (Referring to Brennan and her gentleman caller) It's like watching cars mate.
Angela: It's got to be Michael. Stires. Her Forensic Anthropology professor from Northwestern. They were...
Hodgins: Very, very close? (Angela nods)
Zack: Dr. Brennan is my Forensic Anthropology professor. Does that mean -
Angela and Hodgins: (firmly, shaking their heads) No.
Zack: (to himself, trying to draw a logical conclusion) If she was his student, and I'm her student, then it follows...
Hodgins: Ain't gonna happen, Zack-O, not in this universe.
Brennan: (smiling) Not tonight. I have a dinner.
Booth:: (surprised) What? Wow. I just assumed that the two of te would be eating off an autopsy table.
Hodgins: Using a refrigerator to hide a body...kinda perfect isn't it?
Zack: A good way to remove the victim without being detected. The rubber gaskets foca, guarnizione in the odor.
Angela: Maybe the company should use that in their ads.
(Zack and Hodgins approach Michael like protective older brothers)
Hodgins: (arms crossed) te were Brennan’s professor?
Michael: She was twenty-three, an adult.
Hodgins: That’s what Clinton said.
Zack: te run through a lot of students?
Michael: That was a long time fa and Tempe was very advanced, più a colleague than a student.
Zack: I'm a pretty advanced student.
Michael: No offense, but I'm not interested.
Zack: No, uh, I meant me and her...
Hodgins: (laughs and bumps Zack's shoulder) Burn!
Angela: Where did te go to cena last night?.
Brennan: We wound up staying in. We need to know if that amount was accrued over time o was delivered in one large dose.
Angela: (delighted) te didn't come back to the lab, did you?
Michael: I made frittata.
Angela: (impressed) Oh, wow, he cooks too. Can we share him?
Booth: te know, when the regular stuff, when it gets old, te need to spice it up o it's over. The sex is good te don't need any help.
Brennan: (smirking to herself) Yeah, that's for sure.
Booth: Sorry?
Brennan: I was agreeing.
Booth: Yeah, well, don't. It kinda freaks me out.
Brennan: I was just saying that I myself feel not inclination towards pain o dominance when it comes to sex.
Booth: Are te sure?
Brennan: Yeah, I'm sure.
Booth: 'Cause te can be very bossy.
(She swats him with a crop from the evidence box)
Brennan:(triumphantly) Her legs were bound.
Zach: There are erosion patterns from the Bones rubbing together over time.
Booth: If this were the result of sex games, then the legs, they wouldn't be bound together. (Michael looks back at him skeptically) Oh, come on, te know? Lookin' for a little nooky, the last thing te tie together are the legs.
Booth: Bones. The judge is holding them without bail. The US attorney is thinking about sending te flowers.
Brennan: Facts are facts.
Booth: Uh, Bones, I have to ask - how much have te been sharing with, uh, the professor?
Brennan: (indignant) None of your business.
Booth: I mean on the case.
Booth: Bones, te okay?
Brennan: Why wouldn't I be?
Booth: Oh, 'cause the nutty professor's graded your paper. What'd give you, anyway? I was always happy with a B.
Brennan: I never got a B, and I never will.
Booth: That's my girl.
Jury Consultant: Juries don't like you.
Brennan: Excuse me?
Jury Consultant: I've seen te testify before, Dr. Brennan. te come off as cold and aloof. I want to make sure -
Brennan: Cold and aloof?
Jury Consultant: Try not interrupting, it makes te sound arrogant. Also, don't front load your testimony with technical crap.
Booth: (shaking his head warningly at the Jury Consultant) Look, this really is not the best approach.
Brennan: How I feel doesn't matter. My job doesn't depend on it.
Levitt: But it's informed da it. Are te as cold and unfeeling as te seem?
Brennan: I see a face on every skull. I can look at their Bones and tell te how they walked, where they hurt. Maggie Schilling is real to me. The pain she suffered was real. Her hip was being eaten away da infection from lying on her side. Sure, like Dr. Stires said, the disease could contribute to that if te take it out of context, but te can’t break Maggie Schilling down into little pieces. She was a whole person who fought to free herself. Her wrists were broken from struggling against the handcuffs. The Bones in her ankles were ground together because her feet were tied, and her side, her hip, and her shoulder were being eaten away da infection, and the più she struggled, the più pain she was in, so they gave her those drugs to keep her quiet. They gave her so much it killed her. These facts can’t be ignored o dismissed because te think I’m boring o obnoxious, because I don’t matter. What I feel doesn’t matter. Only she matters, only Maggie.
The Man in the Fallout Shelter [1.9]
Brennan: I don’t like Secret Santa. The idea that we are forced da convention to exchange meaningless gifts is…
Angela: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. If te rearrange Secret Santa though, te get Secret Satan.
Brennan: What possible meaning could that have?
Angela: I’ve already had an eggnog, if te can’t tell. Now, how am I going to enjoy this party knowing that my best friend in the whole world is in the lab, eyeball to eyeball, with Skeletor?
Brennan: Who?
Brennan: Booth, will te escort Angela to the Natale party and make sure she doesn’t photocopy her butt?
Brennan: I thought that te were at the party.
Booth: Oh, that wasn’t a party, that was a stella, star Wars convention.
Angela: Hey, whose fault is this?
Hodgins: Who forced me to go to the party where I drank too much and had to hide from Crystal?
Angela: Who never should have cut into a bone with a drunken fool in the room?
Zack: Who brought us human remains just to ditch a little paper work?
Booth: Oh, wait, you’re saying this is my fault?
Dr. Goodman: te knew Dr. Brennan could not resist.
Brennan: Well, I would have been able to resist if I was in Niger, where I wanted to be.
Booth: What are those little tiny lights dancing on the ceiling?
Dr. Goodman: For the third time, those are minuto firings of neurons on your optic nerve due to your reaction to the anti-fungal cocktail.
Booth: Wow, whoa. They’re beautiful.
Dr. Goodman: (laughs) te are stoned, Agent Booth.
Angela: It’s all so tragic. A cheap wedding ring sewn into his suit, two tickets to Paris, it makes te wonder who was the girl. Can te imagine what it was like for her, waiting and wondering never knowing what happened?
Brennan: I don’t have to imagine.
Booth: Bones, it’s after midnight. Hmm? Natale Eve Day. Both an eve and a day, it’s a Natale miracle.
Brennan: Still enjoying your medication, I see.
Booth: te don’t seem too upset about missing Christmas.
Brennan: Indications are that Christ, if he existed, was born in late spring and the celebration of his birth was shifted to coincide with the pagan right of the winter solace so that early Christians weren’t persecuted.
Booth: What are you, like, the Natale killer?
Brennan: It’s the truth.
Booth: No it sounds like the truth because it’s so rational, right? But the… te know, the true truth is te hate Natale so te just spout out all these facts and te ruin it for everyone else.
Brennan: I ruin the true truth with facts?
Angela: Alright, we need a way to choose our Secret Santa’s.
Zack: I could build a random generator.
Dr. Goodman: Wouldn’t it be better to match complimentary people in a premeditated manner?
Hodgins: I’ve got five numbers in my head and five letters. te tell me the number and I’ll tell te the matching letter.
Dr. Goodman: Are the letter sequential o are the numbers sequential?
Hodgins: Sequential, we'll go in order oldest to youngest.
Zack: Six.
Hodgins: There’s no six.
Dr. Goodman: A through E and 1 through 5?
Booth: (holds out a canister with their names written out on slips on paper in front of them) Just pick a name and if te get your own put it back in.
Dr. Goodman: Oh. That could work.
Hodgins: Yeah that’s good.
Angela: Good idea.
Brennan: Anthropologically speaking, gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now imagine an entire holiday devoted to self promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can te expect me to get behind that? How can te get behind that?
Booth: Wow, that’s…that’s deep. It’s a very deep pile of crap.
Brennan: te came to me with information this morning, a peace offering, but it was to make te feel better not me, proves my point. (points to picture) Any idea what this is?
Booth: No.
Brennan: Me neither, try Dr. Goodman.
Booth: te know Bones, te make it very very hard for me to be nice to you.
Hodgins: Puperia showed Lionel had valley fever.
Brennan: We sorta knew that.
Hodgins: Wow, was that a shot? Because I apologized. I mean, Goodman doesn’t get to see his family. Zack doesn’t get to see his family. Booth doesn’t get to see his son. At least I’m an accidental Grinch; with all due respect, you’re the Grinch on purpose.
Brennan: I have no idea what te are saying to me.
Hodgins: The Grinch is a relatively well known creation of a children’s autore named Dr. Seuss.
Brennan: I’m not really who te want to talk to about…Booth has a kid?
Hodgins: te didn’t know?
Brennan: No.
Hodgins: I wasn’t the one who told you.
Dr. Goodman: The girlfriend was in trouble.
Angela: Pregnant in trouble?
Hodgins: Ooh, apparently Careful Lionel wasn’t so careful.
Booth: Marry a pregnant girl in Oklahoma in the late fifties.
Dr. Goodman: Do te suppose Lionel came up here to procure an abortion?
Angela: te know what? This isn’t a very Natale Eve-type story.
Brennan: Of course it is, the whole Christ myth has been built upon the derails of an unwed mother.
Booth: Okay, could we just stop bringing up the whole Christ myth thing? Some people believe it is più than just a myth.
Brennan: Well, who besides you?
Dr. Goodman: That would be me Dr. Brennan. I’m a deacon at my church.
Angela: I do, Natale and Easter, anyway.
Hodgins: Although I believe organized religion is just another political movement designed to control the masses, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t Amore me.
Zack: Hey, I’m a rationalist empiricist all the way. Unless te talk to my mother. Then I’m Lutheran.
Angela: te have to find the girl and tell her what te know. Don’t te see? te can give her the answer that te never got.
Brennan: Wha…Angela.
Angela: I’m sorry, sweetie, but it’s true. te have a chance here.
Brennan: To say what? "Merry Christmas, Ivy Gillespie. Your fiancé was murdered and your life was ruined but hey, at least te get to know what happened to him."
Angela: Don’t te wish somebody had detto that to you?
Brennan: Yes. (she gets up and leaves)
Booth: te just gave somebody the best Natale gift they could ever get. Who’s the secret Santa now?
Brennan: Stop. (her voice activates the robot laying on the counter successivo to Booth. It starts doing push-ups. Booth looks at it)
Booth: Ooh. (laughs) That weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world.
The Woman at the Airport [1.10]
Brennan: (to Zack) X-rays, pictures, we’re going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.
Zack: Kid gloves?
Brennan: Latex should be alright. (pauses) Zack, were te being metaphoric?
Zack: I decided to give it a shot. Which is also metaphoric.
(Brennan’s office. She walks in and sees Booth sitting at her desk.)
Brennan: I need a receptionist. I can’t just have anybody waltzing in here.
Brennan: I can’t go to Los Angeles. I have an Iron Age warrior to authenticate.
Booth: Iron Age warrior, when was the Iron Age?
Brennan: Fifteen hundred years ago.
Booth: Fresh body bits, just a little più urgent.
Brennan: te do realize there are a lot più fresh bodies then there are perfect specimens from the Iron Age?
Booth: te know when te say things like that, it’s just to bug me, right?
(Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, CA. Booth is driving a blue mustang convertible.)
Brennan: This car doesn’t feel very FBI-y.
Booth: Bones, this is a nineteen sixty-six mustang. It’s a classic and what goes better than that with the FBI?
Brennan: How come on the rental agreement under "model," te made the guy write sedan?
Booth: C’mon. We’re in California. (puts his arm behind her shoulders.) Look, palm trees.
Brennan: te know, I like to drive sometimes.
Booth: Look, our contact out her is Special Agent Trisha Finn.
Brennan: I’m an excellent driver.
Booth: Okay, Rainman.
Brennan: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: I’m always gonna drive. te know that, right? Me behind the wheel and te over there on the grandma side.
Brennan: I’m not above telling Deputy Director Cullen what kind of car te rented. (cut to Brennan driving)
Hodgins: Look, there’s no bugs on him, haven’t been for over a thousand years.
Dr. Goodman: There may be spores and pollens, correct?
Hodgins: Probably not.
Dr. Goodman: Dozen of species of pollens have been discovered from the crustaceous era. How long fa was that?
Zack: (raises hand) Sixty-five million years. (Hodgins glares at him.) That was a pretty good comeback.
Hodgins: We all know that you’re going to say, "I’m unable to authenticate with confidence."
Zack: Why would he do that?
Hodgins: When te declare something authentic, te run the risk of being proven wrong. That doesn’t happen if te equivocate. As head of the Jeffersonian, Dr. Goodman will place the reputation of the institution over everything else.
Dr. Goodman: I’m an archaeologist. My findings will be congruent with the facts.
Hodgins: With all due respect, te used to be an archaeologist. (Hodgins and Dr. Goodman glare at each other)
Zack: I have no idea what’s going on between te two right now.
Dr. Goodman: His Bones orso the marks of battle. His weapons are of good quality, well used. He’s old for a warrior, yet how did he die Mr. Addy?
Zack: Looks like tuberculosis.
Dr. Goodman: A proud man. Not the ending he would have wanted, yet he was surrounded da family and friends, a good death. (Hodgins looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes, annoyed.)
Hodgins: Oh, please. Now you’re describing a scene from Lord of the Rings.
Booth: Okay guys, let’s turn our attention back to the murder victim. I’d like to go pay a visit to Dr. Boobs.
Finn: Why? If implants were stolen from him, he won’t know anything.
Booth: Because it’s the only lead that we’ve got, Finn, and leads are great for screenplays, o even, say, if you’re actually working a real case.
Zack: I have something for you.
Angela: (sighs) Is it chocolate?
Zack: No.
Angela: Then I find my interest has flagged.
Zack: This is the type of situation where someone says, "Oh, my God."
Hodgins: Pretend you're a person and say it.
Zack: Oh, my God.
The Woman in the Car [1.11]
Stacy: I’m Stacy Goodyear and joining me on 'Wakeup DC' is Dr. Temperance Brennan. She’s the autore of the best selling mystery novel, 'Bred in the Bone' and she’s also…now tell me if I get this wrong…an anthropologist who works with the FBI to solve crimes?
Brennan: Yes, that’s correct. I use the Bones of people who have been murdered o burned o blown up o eaten da animali o insects o just decomposed.
Stacy: Well, that’s exciting. Um, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over three hundred thousand copies. How do te juggle twin careers as a best selling autore and crime fighting scientist?
Brennan: Well I do one, then the other.
Pickering: Didn’t I see te on Televisione this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Brennan: How could I possibly know what te watched on television? (she sees Booth and starts to walk over to him) Booth, I have to talk to you.
Pickering: Yeah, it was definitely her.
(Talking about Brennan's TV interview)
Brennan: Okay, what did I do wrong?
Booth: Maybe successivo time tell a funny story. Oh, never say te don’t like children.
Brennan: I didn’t say I don’t like children. I just detto I don’t want any.
Booth: On TV that’s the same thing.
Brennan: te arrest someone really small lately? Car sede, sedile in the back.
Booth: Oh, I had Parker for the weekend.
Brennan: I don’t know how te do that.
Booth: Install a car sede, sedile in an FBI vehicle?
Brennan: Bring a kid into this world knowing what te know. I’ll bet Parker was an accident, right? Because his mother wouldn’t marry you? (Booth laughs and shakes his head) What?
Booth: It never occurred to te that that might be a sensitive topic.
Brennan: Well te could have gone with the very small felon story.
Booth: I’m better for Parker being in the world. Someday te will see that.
Brennan: No I won’t.
Booth: You’ll change your mind.
Brennan: Ah, I don’t do that.
Booth: te will.
Cullen: Well, at least nobody got shot. Probably cause she didn’t have a gun.
Pickering: When was the last time te saw your husband?
Angela: My husband?
Pickering: Yes.
Angela: Oh. (laughs) Oh. (chuckles) Wow, te mean that actually took? Really, it didn’t seem legal. We were in Fiji. te know, there was a fuoco dance. te know how those things can be, right?
Pickering: I really don’t, Miss Montenegro.
Angela: Right.
Booth: te know the ear te found? There’s no way it’s her own ear, right?
Brennan: How could it be her own ear?
Booth: That’s what I’m saying.
Brennan: What?
Booth: It’s definitely not her ear.
Brennan: How could she bite off her own ear?
Hodgins: Okay, okay, so you’re telling me that my toe chewing moron cousin was appointed to a secret post in a secret part of the government te can’t tell me about so te compiled a secret dossier on me, but I’m the one who’s paranoid.
Pickering: We don’t use the word dossier.
Hodgins: What was the finding? I…I still work here so…
Pickering: Harmless.
Hodgins: Harmless? I’m harmless?
Pickering: Yes, te do not pose a viable threat.
Hodgins: Well that’s just insulting.
Pickering: If te want me to interview you, I will, but I will only discover what we already know. te are benign.
Hodgins: I am not benign, lady. I’m not harmless. I’m malignant! I’m a loaded cannon…
Pickering: Thank te Dr. Hodgins. (she walks away)
Hodgins: I know things that would curdle your blood including a formula that literally curdles blood!
Pickering: Could we start please?
Zack: Anytime, I can do two things at once.
Pickering: Mr. Addy, I require your full attention.
Zack: No te don’t, but I’ll give it to you.
Pickering: What I need to do here is to establish that te are not a threat to the security of this country.
Zack: I’m getting a degree in Forensic Anthropology. I’m half way through another in Engineering. What are te afraid I will do? Build a race of criminal robots that will destroy the earth?
Pickering: Do te have that kind of fantasy often?
Zack: Very often.
Pickering: Does it concern te that such adolescent thoughts are a sign of emotional retardation?
Zack: I’ve been told. I’m working on it.
Pickering: Can te understand why that concerns us?
Zack: Not really.
Pickering: Hypothetically, te have a piece of information…
Zack: Secret and meaningful information?
Pickering: Yes, and the security of the country's at stake; can I bribe te to give it to me?
Zack: No.
Pickering: Threaten you?
Zack: No.
Pickering: What if I made a reasonable rational argument, very persuasive?
Zack: Merely persuasive?
Pickering: Irrefutable. I make an irrefutable argument as to why te should give me this piece of information. Would te do so?
Zack: Not without checking with Dr. Brennan o Angela first, see what they said, maybe Agent Booth if he would talk to me. He probably wouldn’t. I'd check with Dr. Hodgins but he’d say it was all part of some conspiracy... so I must only take his consigli on women. Four hundred and eighty volts…three hundred and fifty amps.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Zack: It's sorta secret information. I probably shouldn’t tell you. Any other questions? Good.
Booth: The material witness for a specially convened grand jury and te Lost him?
Weeks: The guy's pretty smart, genius level. Do te have any idea what it is like to interact with those types of people?
Booth: Yeah, a little.
Brennan: te just told me not to jump to a conclusion.
Booth: No offense intended.
Brennan: No, te were right! It’s just I usually get to tell you.
Booth: Well, our relationship has taken a whole new turn.
Booth: Alright, Zack! Zack! This guy Decker, he’s like you. He’s in the whole stratosphere IQ wise.
Zack: What's his IQ?
Booth: It's 163.
Brennan: Oh, he's not where Zack is.
Zack: If he's in the stratosphere, I'm in the ionosphere.
Decker: Look, analytically, I understand that many lives outweigh the one, but I cannot trade my son's life.
Weeks: Have te considered that da not testifying your wife will have died in vain?
Cullen: Shut it, Weeks. If te people had protected Mr. Decker and his family properly, we wouldn’t even be here.
Pickering: Can te tell me what te were doing in Cuba?
Brennan: Only if te tell me first.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Brennan: I don't know your security clearance.
Pickering: Well what is your security clearance?
Brennan: te should check with the state department.
Pickering: I'm from the state department.
Brennan: Then that should make it easy for you.
Brennan: Why don't we ever take my car?
Booth: Do te have bullet proof vests in the trunk?
Brennan: No.
Booth: That's why.