If te have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into articolo forum thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.
~~~~
One giorno Bella fell over while being chased da Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and detto - "Edward, what are te doing? te know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"
"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."
"I'LL EAT HIM!" detto Alice butchly.
She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".
So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't te baciare me before te met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"
Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking baciare with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.
Emmett took off stealing the divano saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red laccio, perizoma to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!
Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won da using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the autore page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW o I SWEAR I'LL FEED te TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward detto "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my Amore it was always sucks to talk to te but Smeyer must
die"
bella detto "No! Our Amore everlasts!"
So Alice and Jasper went to the supermercato to buy cena for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while baciare Carlisle. Jacob detto "Bella te are very scintillating and incandescant."
Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue pelliccia which Rupert Grint detto was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many bacon, pancetta affumicata rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and arcobaleno like lasers shooting out of their eyes.
So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded da turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.
Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"
~~~~~
I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link
This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.
(That took FOREVER.)
~~~~
One giorno Bella fell over while being chased da Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and detto - "Edward, what are te doing? te know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"
"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."
"I'LL EAT HIM!" detto Alice butchly.
She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".
So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't te baciare me before te met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"
Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking baciare with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.
Emmett took off stealing the divano saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red laccio, perizoma to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!
Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won da using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the autore page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW o I SWEAR I'LL FEED te TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward detto "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my Amore it was always sucks to talk to te but Smeyer must
die"
bella detto "No! Our Amore everlasts!"
So Alice and Jasper went to the supermercato to buy cena for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while baciare Carlisle. Jacob detto "Bella te are very scintillating and incandescant."
Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue pelliccia which Rupert Grint detto was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many bacon, pancetta affumicata rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and arcobaleno like lasers shooting out of their eyes.
So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded da turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.
Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"
~~~~~
I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link
This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.
(That took FOREVER.)
There are some core things about the mythical creatures I wish Meyer would have dato an actual explaination for:
Vampires
1. Turning into bats
She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.
2. Sleeping in a coffin
How about that having something to do with them faking their own death o something?
3. Lack of Fangs
An evolution over time to adapt.
4. Sunlight
Related to the fact Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. are considered to be connected to the devil.
Werewolves
1. Full-Moon
They meet at the full-moon.
2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the Lupi have this)
It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.
3. Pack- Mind
Evolved trait o even a gift from the spirits.
Vampires
1. Turning into bats
She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.
2. Sleeping in a coffin
How about that having something to do with them faking their own death o something?
3. Lack of Fangs
An evolution over time to adapt.
4. Sunlight
Related to the fact Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. are considered to be connected to the devil.
Werewolves
1. Full-Moon
They meet at the full-moon.
2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the Lupi have this)
It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.
3. Pack- Mind
Evolved trait o even a gift from the spirits.
Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The successivo day.
Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The giorno after that:
Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen o my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!
[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You ha rubato, stola this!'].
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The successivo day.
Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The giorno after that:
Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen o my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!
[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You ha rubato, stola this!'].
Created:~Alice~
Q: What to Edward and a Natale albero have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what te are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!
Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much te mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: te know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.
Q: How do te kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her libri and wait for two minutes.
Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward te suck!!!!
Q: What to Edward and a Natale albero have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what te are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!
Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much te mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: te know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.
Q: How do te kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her libri and wait for two minutes.
Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward te suck!!!!