It Was A Sunny Summer giorno In The Cul-De-Sac,And The Eds Were Cooking Up A Hot New Scam.But,They Were Having A Bit Of Trouble...
Eddy:WHY Is It So HARD To Think Up A Scam????
Edd:Beats Me,Eddy.
Ed:Nope.Can't Think Of A Word. Hey,Who's That?
The Eds Looked Up To See A Girl (How'd te Guess?)With Shoulder Length Red Hair,Wearing A White Tank superiore, in alto With The British Flag On It,And Blue Jeans.She Wore White Sneakers,Had Gray-Blue Eyes,And A Few Freckles.She Also Wore Glasses With White Frames.She Walked Up To The Eds.
Girl:Hi! Who Are te Three?
Ed:I Am Ed!
Edd:I'm Edd,With Two D's,So te Can Call Me Double-D If te Want.
Eddy:I'm Eddy! Who Are You?
Girl:I'm Rita! What Are te Three Doing?
Ed:Trying To Think Up A Scam To Buy Jawbreakers.
Eddy:Shush,Monobrow!!!
Rita:I'll Tell te What.You Seem Nice,So Why Not Take A Trip To The caramelle Store? My Treat!
Rita Held Up A Dollar Bill.Eddy Flashed A Big Grin.
Eddy:Well,WHADAYA WAITIN' FOR???? LET'S GO!!!
The Eds And Rita Zoom Off.They Go Up To The caramelle Store.Ed Gets A uva Jawbreaker,Edd Gets A Speckled Jawbreaker,Eddy Gets A Lemon-Lime Jawbreaker,And Rita Gets A ciliegia Jawbreaker.They Walk Outside Just Staring At It In Awe.
Eddy:You're Mine...ALL Mine...
Ed:(Drooling)
Edd:Mmm...Mouth-Watering Candied Spheres....
Rita:Mmm...Chiruri Jawbubreakeru...
Eds:Huh?
Rita:Oh,That's ciliegia jawbreaker In Japanese.I Took A Japanese Class In School.In Japan,Your Names Are Edo,Ededo,And Edede.Mine Is The Same In English As In Japanese.Rita.It's Just Pronounced,"Ree-Ta"
Edd:Oh.
Kevin And Rolf Walk Up.
Rolf:Hello,Ed-Boys! Hello,Strange New Girl! I Am Rolf!
Rita:Hello,Rolf! I'm Rita! (Pokes Rolf On The Head)
Rolf:Ho,HO! Rolf Is Honored da Your Knowledge Of The Shepherd's Customary Salute!
Rolf Pokes Rita,Then Does What He Does To Johnny 2x4 In "Shoo Ed"
Rolf:Did te Catch My Drift?
Rita:Yes,Rolf!
Kevin:What? DORKS WITH JAWBREAKERS???
Rita:Who?
Kevin:The Eds Are Dorks!
Rita:No,They're Not! Who Are You,Anyway?
Kevin:I'm Kevin.
Rita:I'm Rita,And I Bought These Jawbreakers For These Three,DORK! o Should I Say,"Duck"? C'mon,Guys.
Rita Slamms Her jawbreaker Into Her Mouth,As Do The Eds.They Walk Off Laughing.
Eddy:Rita,That Was GREAT!
Ed:GO RITA!!!
Edd:Good Show,Rita! Most Impressive!
Rita:Thanks,Guys! He Deserved It Really.
Eddy:TELL Me About It.
Rita And The Eds Sit Down On The Grass,And The Eds Tell Them Every Scam In The Book.
Rita:It Was Really Nice Of te To Grant Rolf His Wish.
Edd:I Thought So,Too!
They Showed Rita Ed's Basement.
Ed:This Is My Room!
Edd:Messy,Messy,Messy!
Rita:Ick! This Is Unsanitary,Ed! HOW CAN te LIVE THIS WAY???
Ed:My Sister Sarah Says It's Better For Me To Stay Down Here,Goes With My Personality.
Rita:Oh,It DOES NOT!!! Where Is This,"Sister Sarah"Of Yours?
Ed:Upstairs.
Rita Marched Upstairs,And Walked Into Sarah's Room,Where Sarah And Jimmy Were Playing Dollies.
Jimmy:Oh,Look Sarah! A New Friend!
Sarah:Who Are You?
Rita:Well,Who Are You?
Jimmy:I'm Jimmy!
Sarah:I'm Sarah.
Rita:I'm Rita.Did te Tell Your Big Brother Ed That Mucky Basement Was For Him To Live In Because It Fit His Personality?
Sarah:YES! He's An Idiot!
Rita:I'll Take It That He's A Bit Slow-Minded,But He Has FEELINGS,Sarah! He's Nice,And Loving,And Caring,And te Just Take Advantage Of Him!
Sarah:Well,I Can Do Whatever I Want When My Mommy's Not Around!
Rita:I Doubt That.In Fact,I May Just Call Your Mother Right Now And Tell Her What's Been Going On.
Sarah:Try Me.
Rita:All Right.
Rita:Hey,Ed! What's Your Mom's Cell Number?
Ed:989-9469.
Rita Dials The Number.Sarah Looks Unaffected.
Ed's Mom:Hello?
Rita:Hello? Is This Ed's Mother?
Ed's Mom:Yes.
Sarah Starts To Sweat.
Rita:Well,I've Been Having A Chat With Your Daughter Sarah,And She Really Takes Advantage Of Ed When Your Not Around,Saying"If te Don't Do It,I'll Tell Mom"Blah,Blah,Blah.She Just detto To Me,"That Basement Is Perfect For Ed,It Goes With His Stinky Personality."And,"I Get To Do Whatever I Want When My Mother's Not Around."
Ed's Mom:Oh My Gosh! What Has She Been Doing?
Rita:Well....
Rita Tells Ed's Mom About Every Thing Sarah's Done To Ed In The Book,And Ed's Mom Says To Put Sarah On The Phone.
Rita:It's Your Mom,Sarah.She Wants To Talk To You.
Sarah Takes The Reciver.
Sarah:Hello,Mom.
Ed's Mom:Hello,Sarah.I Just Talked To Rita.It's Just NOT FAIR The Way You're Treating Your Brother.I'm Gonna Have A Talk With te Tonight.Understood?
Sarah:Yes,Mom.
Ed's Mom:Now,Let Me Talk To Ed.
Sarah:Ed,Mom Wants To Talk To You.
Ed Takes The Receiver.
Ed:Yes,Mom?
Ed's Mom:Edward,I'm So Sorry About Sarah! I Didn't Know She Was Making All That Stuff Up! I'm Gonna Have A Talk With Her Tonight,And I'll Pick te Up A Suprise On The Way home From Work.See te Tonight.
Ed:Thanks,Mom.Bye.
Ed Hangs Up.He Smiles.
Ed:I FEEL GREAT! Thanks,Rita! You're A LIFESAVER!
Rita:It Felt Great Doing It,Ed!
Ed Gives Rita One Of Those Crushing orso Hugs.When He Lets Rita Go,She Smiles,Eyes Watering,Panting Hard.
Rita:God,You're Strong!
Ed Gives His Trademark Laugh,And Edd And Eddy Look At Rita Shocked.
Eddy:Wow! Sweet Revenge Against Sarah!
Edd:I Wouldn't Have The cuore To Squeal On Her,And I Squealed On The Whole Cul-De-Sac!
Eddy:Oh,Yeah,He Sang Like A Canary.
The Eds And Rita Are In The Cul-De-Sac,Playing Kick-The-Can.
Edd:Sports Aren't My Strong Suit,But Kick-The-Can Is A Merry Game!
Rita:Really? I Play Tennis!
Eddy:I Didn't Know te Played Tennis,Rita!
Rita:Oh,Yeah! It's Fun! I Just Don't Play It Anymore.
Ed:Oh.(Kick)I Was On Swim Team Once.
Rita:Oh,Cool! (Kick)
Edd:Intriguing! (Kick)
Eddy:Swmimming's Cool.(Kick)
Kevin:Hello,Dorks.(Crushes Can With Foot)
Rita:Hey! What Do te Want,Dorkin?
Eddy:Dorkin! Good One,Rita!
Kevin:You Shut Up! I Just Talked With Everybody In This Here Cul-De-Sac! They All Hate You! Sarah,Johnny,Plank,Nazz,Jimmy,And Me! The Only One Who Dosen't Hate te Is Rolf,All Because Of That STUPID Salute! See Ya,DORKS!!!
Edd:It Appears You're Goodwill Earned A Cul-De-Sac's Wrath,Rita.
Rita:Aw,Let Em' Be Mad.At Least I've Got te Guys.
The Kanker Sisters Walked Up.
Lee:Hey,Eddy!
Eddy:Lee!
May:Hey,Big Ed!
Ed:May!
Marie:Hey,Double-D!
Edd:Marie!
Kankers:Rita!
Rita:Girls!
Eddy:You Know Them?
Rita:May,Lee,And Marie Are My Cousins!
Eds:Gasp!
Marie:So,What Brings te To pesca, peach Creek,Cousin Rita?
Rita:Just A Visit.I Just Met The Eds Today.
Lee:Come Visit Our Trailer! We Have A Lot Of Catching Up To Do.
Rita:Okay.I'll Come Back When I'm Done,Boys! See Ya!
The Four Girls Run Off.
Eddy:The Cousin Of A Kanker...I Have Mixed Feelings About Her Now.
Ed:Yikes.
Edd:I Like Her Just The Same.At Least She's Not A Kanker SISTER!
Eddy:Amen,Brother!
Meanwhile,At The Kanker Sisters' Trailer...
May:Welcome To Our Home!
Rita:It's Nice.
Lee:Sit Down.Want Anything To Drink?
Rita:A Soda Would Be Nice.
Marie Got Rita A Coke.
Rita:Thanks,Marie.
The Three Sat Down successivo To Rita On The Couch.
May:It's Nice To See te Again!
Rita:Hey,Girls...I Have A Secret To Tell You...But I'm Only Telling You,Since You're My Cousins And All...
Lee:Great! We Amore Secrets!
Rita:Promise Not To Tell...
Girls:We Promise!
Rita:(Blushing)It's Silly...But I Just Can't Stand It Anymore...
May:Yeah?...
Rita:Well,You Can Correct Me If te Think I'm Outta Line Here,But I-I-...
Lee:What?
Rita:I Think I Have A Crush On Double-D!
Marie:WHAT???
Rita:I Think I'm In Amore With Him!
Marie:Back Off,Rita! He's MINE! Get Out Of Our Trailer!
Rita Ran Out Of The Trailer Looking Hit For Six.
Lee:Marie! What Were te Doing?
May:She's Our Cousin!
Marie:Double-D's MINE...And Mine Alone!!!
Rita Runs Back To The Eds.
Eddy:How'd It Go?
Rita:Horrible! I Told The Girls A Secret And Marie Just Flipped Out!
Edd:What Did te Tell Her?
Rita:I Can't Tell You...But I Can Tell Ed And Eddy.
Rita Whispered Ed And Eddy The Secret,And What Happened After That.
Eddy:Oh My GOD...
Ed:Oh My GRAVY...
Rita:Eddy...Could te Tell Him For Me?
Eddy:Sure.
Eddy Whispered The Secret And What Happened Afterward To Edd.
Edd:Oh My...(Blushes)Well...Why Marie Got So Worked Up Is...
Edd Explained Everything About The Eds And The Kanker Sisters,With Help From Ed And Eddy.
Rita:Oh!
Edd:Well...Thank You...
Rita Looked At Her Watch.
Rita:Oh! Look At The Time! I'm Going To The biblioteca Now,Anybody Like To Come With Me?
Ed:No,Thanks.
Eddy:Books Are Boring.
Edd:I'd Like To Go!
Rita:Cool! Let's Go!
The Two Walked Off To The Library.They Walked In.
Edd:Come Here Often?
Rita:Every Weekend!
They Went To Different Isles And Got Books.They Met Back At The Librarian's Check-Out Desk.
Librarian:Hello,Rita.Here With A Friend I See...Oh! Young Edward! You're Here,Too!
Rita:You Come Here Often?
Edd:Every Weekend!
The Librarian Checked Their libri Out,And They Walked Home.
Edd:What Did te Check Out?
Rita:Bridge To Teribethia.
Edd:I Read That.Very Intresting!
Rita:And You?
Edd:The Watsons Go To Birmingham.
Rita:Oh,I Read That! That's A Great Book!
Edd:Rita,I Was Wondering...
Rita:Yes?
Edd:If You'd Like To Go Out This Saturday Night?
Rita:Sure!
Edd:Okay,Great! See te Then!
Rita:See You!
****************************
It Was Saturday Evening,7:00P.M.,And Edd Was Preparing For His Big Date.He Wore A Black Tuxedo With A Red Rose,And A Black Bow Tie.His Hat Was Washed And Dried,He Showered,Washed His Hair(Can't Be Too Careful,You Know!)Used Deoderant,Brushed His Teeth,Mouthwash,Used A Breathmint,Polished His Black Boots,And Was Staring At Himself In The Mirror.He Even Wore A Red Cape With His Tuxedo!
Edd:Well,Edd,For An 11-Year-Old Boy,You Do Look Marvelous.I Should Do Something Nice For Rita.
Edd Went Out And Got Her A Dozen Red Roses.He Then Went And Knocked On Her Door.Rita's Mother Answered.
Rita's Mother:Yes?
Edd:I'm Edd.Is Rita Ready Yet?
Rita's Mother:Oh,You're Edward! Rita's On Her Way Down.
Rita's Mother Walked Off,And Rita Walked Down The Stairs And Greeted Edd At The Door.She Wore A White,Strapless Gown,With White Satin Shoes.
Edd:Good Evening,Rita!
Rita:Good Evening,Edd!
Edd Gave Her The Roses.
Edd:I Bought These For You...
Rita Sniffed Them And Smiled.
Rita:They're Just Lovely! I'll Put Them Inside,One Moment Please.
Rita Ran Inside.
Rita:Oh,Mother! Look At The rose Edd Bought For Me!
Rita's Mother:Oh,How Sweet Of Him! I'll Put Them In Water For You.Have Fun!
Rita:I Will!
Rita Walked Back,And Edd Took Her Hand,But te Could See He Was Sweating Under His Hat.
Rita:You Look So Handsome In That Tuxedo,Edd...
Edd:Thank You.You Look Very Beautiful In That Gown,Rita...
Rita:Thank You.
Edd Led Her To The Cul-De-Sac,(She Lived In The successivo Cul-De-Sac Over),And The Entire Cul-De-Sac Was Still Outside Playing.(Hey,It's SUMMER!)And They Were Staring At Them.
Kevin:Double-Dork Got A Date!
Edd:Why,Yes I Did Kevin.A Nice One At That.Mabye successivo Time te Should Get Off Your Bottom And Try To Get One Yourself.
Kevin:Well...Um....
Rita:Nice One,Edd!
Eddy:Well,Well,Well! A Lovely Couple! Sit Down,Won't You?
Eddy Led Them To A tavolo In The Middle Of The Cul-De-Sac,And Sat Them Down.
Edd:Um,Eddy...
Eddy Came Up And Lit Some Candles On The Table,And Gave Them Some Menus.
Rita:I Guess Eddy Planned This Out For Us...
They Looked Inside Their Menus,And Were Suprised At What They Saw.
Edd:Let's See Here...
The Menu:
Eddy's Famous Omelettes(You Haven't Lived Till' You've Tried One!- Eddy)
Ed's Tuna Raviloi(I Don't Know,He's ED!-Eddy)
Kevin's Parmesian Spaghetti(He Talked Me Into It.-Eddy)
Kanker Burgers(I Swiped The Recipe From Lee.-Eddy)
Rolf's Nana's Stuffed Peppers (EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK.-Eddy)
Drinks-Root Beer.
Edd:I Didn't Know Kevin Could Cook.
Edd:This Is A Tad Disturbing...
Rita:Well,We Better Try It,Just To Be Polite.
Edd:You're Right.
They Took Their Orders.Edd Had Kevin's Spaghetti,And Rita Was Feeling A Bit Daring That Night,So She Ordered Ed's Tuna Ravioli.
Edd:Rita! That Is DARING!
Rita:Thank You,Edd.
Eddy:Your Root Beers!
Rita:Oh! Thanks,Eddy.
Edd:Thank You,Eddy.
They Took Them,And Eddy Zoomed Off Again.
Edd:Rita,I Have A Question,And Forgive Me For Prying,But,What Was It That Attracted te To Me?
Rita:Well,You're Very Polite,You're Very Intelligent,You're Very Nice,And You're Cute.
Edd:Oh...Thank You.
Eddy Ran Up.
Eddy:Here te Are!
Eddy Set The Dishes Down,And Ran Off.They Picked Up Their Forks,And Edd Tried Kevin's Spaghetti.
Edd:Hmm...(Swallows)A Fine Dish,A Tad Spicy.
Rita:I Didn't Know spaghetti COULD Be Spicy.
Rita Popped A Ravioli In Her Mouth,And The Entire Cul-De-Sac Watched In Awe.
Rita:Hmm...(Swallows)This Is Delicious! I'll Have To Get The Recipe From Ed.
Edd:May I Try?
Rita:Be My Guest.
Edd Tried One,Swallowed,And Smiled.
Edd:It Is Good!
Rita:Let Me Try Some Of That Spaghetti...
Rita Tried Some.
Rita:(Swallow)Wow,That IS Spicy!
They Ate,And Talked About The libri They Read Today.
Rita:Did te Know That I Play Guitar?
Edd:No! Electric o Acoustic?
Rita:Acoustic.Do te Play Any Instruments?
Edd:I Do Play Pedal Steel Guitar.
Rita:Oh!
They Finish,And Ed Runs Up And Takes The Dishes.
Ed:Do Not Adjust Your Set!
Ed Runs Off.
Eddy Puts On A Record,And It Plays,"Sara Smile"By Daryl Hall And John Oates.Edd Gets Up And Reaches Out His Hand.
Edd:Care To Dance?
Rita:I'd Amore To.
Rita Takes His Hand,And They Get Really Close,Until There Is No spazio Between Them,And They Begin To Waltz Through The Cul-De-Sac,And Ed Gets Rid Of The tavolo And Chairs So They Wouldn't Bump Into It.Edd Twirled Rita,They Seperated,One Hand Holding Them Together,And Rejoined,Gazing Deep Into Each Other's Eyes.
Edd:Rita,You Dance Beautifully...
Rita:I Aim To Please,Edd....
They Smile,And Edd Dips Rita,They Hold For A Moment,And Then He Raises Her Back Up Again.They Continue To Dance,Until The Song Ends,And Edd Kisses Her Hand.Rita Blushes.
Sarah:Hmph.I Hate That Rita.Squealin' On Me.
Jimmy:But They Look So Happy,Sarah!
Rolf:Rita-Girl Is Nice.
Johnny:She Called Me Bald!
Plank:...
Nazz:She's Okay...
Kevin:She Blows!
They Walk Off,And Edd Leads Her To Her House.
Rita:I Had A Wonderful Time Tonight,Edd...
Edd:As Did I,Rita...
Rita:Goodnight...
Edd:Goodnight...
The Two Moved In For Their First Kiss...
Marie:RITA!!!
The Two Freeze,Inches Away From Each Other's Lips.Marie Was None Too Pleased...
Marie:What The Hell Are te DOING,Muscling In On MY Guy???
Rita:He's Not Yours Just Because te Say He Is! He's Not Your Property!
Marie:Says Who?
Rita:Says Me! Now,I'd Appreciate It If You'd Please Leave.
Marie:Edd,Is This True?
Edd:Well...Um...(Meekly)Yes.
Marie Looks Shocked,Then Angry.
Marie:Why You...
Edd:Are te A Good Runner?
Rita:Good Enough.
The Two Make A Run For It,Marie Hot On Their Tail.They Take A Turn,And Run Into Edd's Room.They Lock The Door,And Sit Down On Edd's Bed.
Edd:I Think We Lost Her...
Rita:It's Just Cruel The Way She Treats You...
They Look At Each Other And Smile.
Rita:Wheren't We In The Middle Of Something When We Were Rudely Interupted?
Edd:Why Yes...Would te Like It Completed Now?
Rita:Yes,Thank You...
They sposta In For Their First Kiss,And...*Kiss* They Hold That Position For A Moment,Eyes Closed,Then They Separate And Smile.
Phone Ringing
Edd:Excuse Me.
Edd risposte The Phone.
Edd:Double-D's Room.Double-D Speaking….Oh,Hello Mother!…Yes,Rita's Here….Why,We'd Amore To!…Thank You,Mother…Goodbye.
Edd Hangs Up.
Rita:Who Was That?
Edd:It Was My Mother.She'd Like To Know If We'd Like To Come On A Visit To The Local Art Museum This Tuesday With Your Parents.
Rita:Sounds Exhilerating!
Edd Looks At His Clock.
Edd:Oh,My! It's Almost 9:00! Your Parents Must Want te home da Now.
Rita:Yes,They're Very Strict On Curfews.Well,I Had A Wonderful Time.Thanks.
Edd:I Also Had The Same Results.Goodnight,Rita.
Rita:Goodnight,Edd.
Rita Walks Off.She Walks In The Door,Her Mother Is Waiting For Her.
Rita's Mom:Right On Time,Rita! How Was Your Date?
Rita:Wonderful! Edd's So Sweet! And We're Accompanying te On Your Trip To The Art Mueseum This Tuesday.
Rita's Mom:Wonderful!
Rita:By The Way…
Rita Whispered,"I Got My First Kiss."Into Her Mother's Ear.
Rita's Mom:Gosh,You're Turning Into A Woman So Fast…
Rita's Father:Rita,Time For Bed!
Rita:Yes,Father.
Rita Walks Up The Stairs To Bed,And Edd Was Asleep As Well.
********************
It Was Friday Evening,And Edd And Rita Were Dressed Up Nice,And At The Theatre.
Edd:These Are Very Nice Seats.Very Close.
Rita:The Theater Looks Just Lovley! This Is The First Play I've Ever Seen Performed Actually.
Edd:Really? The First Play I Saw Was With My Parents,I Saw Shakespeare's,"Romeo And Juliet".
Rita:Oh! Shh…It's Starting.
The Play Started.(It's Very Long,So To Spare te The Trouble,Let's Skip To The End.)The Two Were Walking Hand In Hand Out Of The Theatre.
Edd:What An Exciting,Humorus Play!
Rita:Yes,It Was Exciting And Humorus,But I Did Feel A Bit Sorry For Hermia.
Edd:Don't We All.
Edd Walked Rita Home,And Then He Went home Himself.And I Bet te Didn't Know This,But This All Happened In Just Two Weeks.
~The End~
Eddy:WHY Is It So HARD To Think Up A Scam????
Edd:Beats Me,Eddy.
Ed:Nope.Can't Think Of A Word. Hey,Who's That?
The Eds Looked Up To See A Girl (How'd te Guess?)With Shoulder Length Red Hair,Wearing A White Tank superiore, in alto With The British Flag On It,And Blue Jeans.She Wore White Sneakers,Had Gray-Blue Eyes,And A Few Freckles.She Also Wore Glasses With White Frames.She Walked Up To The Eds.
Girl:Hi! Who Are te Three?
Ed:I Am Ed!
Edd:I'm Edd,With Two D's,So te Can Call Me Double-D If te Want.
Eddy:I'm Eddy! Who Are You?
Girl:I'm Rita! What Are te Three Doing?
Ed:Trying To Think Up A Scam To Buy Jawbreakers.
Eddy:Shush,Monobrow!!!
Rita:I'll Tell te What.You Seem Nice,So Why Not Take A Trip To The caramelle Store? My Treat!
Rita Held Up A Dollar Bill.Eddy Flashed A Big Grin.
Eddy:Well,WHADAYA WAITIN' FOR???? LET'S GO!!!
The Eds And Rita Zoom Off.They Go Up To The caramelle Store.Ed Gets A uva Jawbreaker,Edd Gets A Speckled Jawbreaker,Eddy Gets A Lemon-Lime Jawbreaker,And Rita Gets A ciliegia Jawbreaker.They Walk Outside Just Staring At It In Awe.
Eddy:You're Mine...ALL Mine...
Ed:(Drooling)
Edd:Mmm...Mouth-Watering Candied Spheres....
Rita:Mmm...Chiruri Jawbubreakeru...
Eds:Huh?
Rita:Oh,That's ciliegia jawbreaker In Japanese.I Took A Japanese Class In School.In Japan,Your Names Are Edo,Ededo,And Edede.Mine Is The Same In English As In Japanese.Rita.It's Just Pronounced,"Ree-Ta"
Edd:Oh.
Kevin And Rolf Walk Up.
Rolf:Hello,Ed-Boys! Hello,Strange New Girl! I Am Rolf!
Rita:Hello,Rolf! I'm Rita! (Pokes Rolf On The Head)
Rolf:Ho,HO! Rolf Is Honored da Your Knowledge Of The Shepherd's Customary Salute!
Rolf Pokes Rita,Then Does What He Does To Johnny 2x4 In "Shoo Ed"
Rolf:Did te Catch My Drift?
Rita:Yes,Rolf!
Kevin:What? DORKS WITH JAWBREAKERS???
Rita:Who?
Kevin:The Eds Are Dorks!
Rita:No,They're Not! Who Are You,Anyway?
Kevin:I'm Kevin.
Rita:I'm Rita,And I Bought These Jawbreakers For These Three,DORK! o Should I Say,"Duck"? C'mon,Guys.
Rita Slamms Her jawbreaker Into Her Mouth,As Do The Eds.They Walk Off Laughing.
Eddy:Rita,That Was GREAT!
Ed:GO RITA!!!
Edd:Good Show,Rita! Most Impressive!
Rita:Thanks,Guys! He Deserved It Really.
Eddy:TELL Me About It.
Rita And The Eds Sit Down On The Grass,And The Eds Tell Them Every Scam In The Book.
Rita:It Was Really Nice Of te To Grant Rolf His Wish.
Edd:I Thought So,Too!
They Showed Rita Ed's Basement.
Ed:This Is My Room!
Edd:Messy,Messy,Messy!
Rita:Ick! This Is Unsanitary,Ed! HOW CAN te LIVE THIS WAY???
Ed:My Sister Sarah Says It's Better For Me To Stay Down Here,Goes With My Personality.
Rita:Oh,It DOES NOT!!! Where Is This,"Sister Sarah"Of Yours?
Ed:Upstairs.
Rita Marched Upstairs,And Walked Into Sarah's Room,Where Sarah And Jimmy Were Playing Dollies.
Jimmy:Oh,Look Sarah! A New Friend!
Sarah:Who Are You?
Rita:Well,Who Are You?
Jimmy:I'm Jimmy!
Sarah:I'm Sarah.
Rita:I'm Rita.Did te Tell Your Big Brother Ed That Mucky Basement Was For Him To Live In Because It Fit His Personality?
Sarah:YES! He's An Idiot!
Rita:I'll Take It That He's A Bit Slow-Minded,But He Has FEELINGS,Sarah! He's Nice,And Loving,And Caring,And te Just Take Advantage Of Him!
Sarah:Well,I Can Do Whatever I Want When My Mommy's Not Around!
Rita:I Doubt That.In Fact,I May Just Call Your Mother Right Now And Tell Her What's Been Going On.
Sarah:Try Me.
Rita:All Right.
Rita:Hey,Ed! What's Your Mom's Cell Number?
Ed:989-9469.
Rita Dials The Number.Sarah Looks Unaffected.
Ed's Mom:Hello?
Rita:Hello? Is This Ed's Mother?
Ed's Mom:Yes.
Sarah Starts To Sweat.
Rita:Well,I've Been Having A Chat With Your Daughter Sarah,And She Really Takes Advantage Of Ed When Your Not Around,Saying"If te Don't Do It,I'll Tell Mom"Blah,Blah,Blah.She Just detto To Me,"That Basement Is Perfect For Ed,It Goes With His Stinky Personality."And,"I Get To Do Whatever I Want When My Mother's Not Around."
Ed's Mom:Oh My Gosh! What Has She Been Doing?
Rita:Well....
Rita Tells Ed's Mom About Every Thing Sarah's Done To Ed In The Book,And Ed's Mom Says To Put Sarah On The Phone.
Rita:It's Your Mom,Sarah.She Wants To Talk To You.
Sarah Takes The Reciver.
Sarah:Hello,Mom.
Ed's Mom:Hello,Sarah.I Just Talked To Rita.It's Just NOT FAIR The Way You're Treating Your Brother.I'm Gonna Have A Talk With te Tonight.Understood?
Sarah:Yes,Mom.
Ed's Mom:Now,Let Me Talk To Ed.
Sarah:Ed,Mom Wants To Talk To You.
Ed Takes The Receiver.
Ed:Yes,Mom?
Ed's Mom:Edward,I'm So Sorry About Sarah! I Didn't Know She Was Making All That Stuff Up! I'm Gonna Have A Talk With Her Tonight,And I'll Pick te Up A Suprise On The Way home From Work.See te Tonight.
Ed:Thanks,Mom.Bye.
Ed Hangs Up.He Smiles.
Ed:I FEEL GREAT! Thanks,Rita! You're A LIFESAVER!
Rita:It Felt Great Doing It,Ed!
Ed Gives Rita One Of Those Crushing orso Hugs.When He Lets Rita Go,She Smiles,Eyes Watering,Panting Hard.
Rita:God,You're Strong!
Ed Gives His Trademark Laugh,And Edd And Eddy Look At Rita Shocked.
Eddy:Wow! Sweet Revenge Against Sarah!
Edd:I Wouldn't Have The cuore To Squeal On Her,And I Squealed On The Whole Cul-De-Sac!
Eddy:Oh,Yeah,He Sang Like A Canary.
The Eds And Rita Are In The Cul-De-Sac,Playing Kick-The-Can.
Edd:Sports Aren't My Strong Suit,But Kick-The-Can Is A Merry Game!
Rita:Really? I Play Tennis!
Eddy:I Didn't Know te Played Tennis,Rita!
Rita:Oh,Yeah! It's Fun! I Just Don't Play It Anymore.
Ed:Oh.(Kick)I Was On Swim Team Once.
Rita:Oh,Cool! (Kick)
Edd:Intriguing! (Kick)
Eddy:Swmimming's Cool.(Kick)
Kevin:Hello,Dorks.(Crushes Can With Foot)
Rita:Hey! What Do te Want,Dorkin?
Eddy:Dorkin! Good One,Rita!
Kevin:You Shut Up! I Just Talked With Everybody In This Here Cul-De-Sac! They All Hate You! Sarah,Johnny,Plank,Nazz,Jimmy,And Me! The Only One Who Dosen't Hate te Is Rolf,All Because Of That STUPID Salute! See Ya,DORKS!!!
Edd:It Appears You're Goodwill Earned A Cul-De-Sac's Wrath,Rita.
Rita:Aw,Let Em' Be Mad.At Least I've Got te Guys.
The Kanker Sisters Walked Up.
Lee:Hey,Eddy!
Eddy:Lee!
May:Hey,Big Ed!
Ed:May!
Marie:Hey,Double-D!
Edd:Marie!
Kankers:Rita!
Rita:Girls!
Eddy:You Know Them?
Rita:May,Lee,And Marie Are My Cousins!
Eds:Gasp!
Marie:So,What Brings te To pesca, peach Creek,Cousin Rita?
Rita:Just A Visit.I Just Met The Eds Today.
Lee:Come Visit Our Trailer! We Have A Lot Of Catching Up To Do.
Rita:Okay.I'll Come Back When I'm Done,Boys! See Ya!
The Four Girls Run Off.
Eddy:The Cousin Of A Kanker...I Have Mixed Feelings About Her Now.
Ed:Yikes.
Edd:I Like Her Just The Same.At Least She's Not A Kanker SISTER!
Eddy:Amen,Brother!
Meanwhile,At The Kanker Sisters' Trailer...
May:Welcome To Our Home!
Rita:It's Nice.
Lee:Sit Down.Want Anything To Drink?
Rita:A Soda Would Be Nice.
Marie Got Rita A Coke.
Rita:Thanks,Marie.
The Three Sat Down successivo To Rita On The Couch.
May:It's Nice To See te Again!
Rita:Hey,Girls...I Have A Secret To Tell You...But I'm Only Telling You,Since You're My Cousins And All...
Lee:Great! We Amore Secrets!
Rita:Promise Not To Tell...
Girls:We Promise!
Rita:(Blushing)It's Silly...But I Just Can't Stand It Anymore...
May:Yeah?...
Rita:Well,You Can Correct Me If te Think I'm Outta Line Here,But I-I-...
Lee:What?
Rita:I Think I Have A Crush On Double-D!
Marie:WHAT???
Rita:I Think I'm In Amore With Him!
Marie:Back Off,Rita! He's MINE! Get Out Of Our Trailer!
Rita Ran Out Of The Trailer Looking Hit For Six.
Lee:Marie! What Were te Doing?
May:She's Our Cousin!
Marie:Double-D's MINE...And Mine Alone!!!
Rita Runs Back To The Eds.
Eddy:How'd It Go?
Rita:Horrible! I Told The Girls A Secret And Marie Just Flipped Out!
Edd:What Did te Tell Her?
Rita:I Can't Tell You...But I Can Tell Ed And Eddy.
Rita Whispered Ed And Eddy The Secret,And What Happened After That.
Eddy:Oh My GOD...
Ed:Oh My GRAVY...
Rita:Eddy...Could te Tell Him For Me?
Eddy:Sure.
Eddy Whispered The Secret And What Happened Afterward To Edd.
Edd:Oh My...(Blushes)Well...Why Marie Got So Worked Up Is...
Edd Explained Everything About The Eds And The Kanker Sisters,With Help From Ed And Eddy.
Rita:Oh!
Edd:Well...Thank You...
Rita Looked At Her Watch.
Rita:Oh! Look At The Time! I'm Going To The biblioteca Now,Anybody Like To Come With Me?
Ed:No,Thanks.
Eddy:Books Are Boring.
Edd:I'd Like To Go!
Rita:Cool! Let's Go!
The Two Walked Off To The Library.They Walked In.
Edd:Come Here Often?
Rita:Every Weekend!
They Went To Different Isles And Got Books.They Met Back At The Librarian's Check-Out Desk.
Librarian:Hello,Rita.Here With A Friend I See...Oh! Young Edward! You're Here,Too!
Rita:You Come Here Often?
Edd:Every Weekend!
The Librarian Checked Their libri Out,And They Walked Home.
Edd:What Did te Check Out?
Rita:Bridge To Teribethia.
Edd:I Read That.Very Intresting!
Rita:And You?
Edd:The Watsons Go To Birmingham.
Rita:Oh,I Read That! That's A Great Book!
Edd:Rita,I Was Wondering...
Rita:Yes?
Edd:If You'd Like To Go Out This Saturday Night?
Rita:Sure!
Edd:Okay,Great! See te Then!
Rita:See You!
****************************
It Was Saturday Evening,7:00P.M.,And Edd Was Preparing For His Big Date.He Wore A Black Tuxedo With A Red Rose,And A Black Bow Tie.His Hat Was Washed And Dried,He Showered,Washed His Hair(Can't Be Too Careful,You Know!)Used Deoderant,Brushed His Teeth,Mouthwash,Used A Breathmint,Polished His Black Boots,And Was Staring At Himself In The Mirror.He Even Wore A Red Cape With His Tuxedo!
Edd:Well,Edd,For An 11-Year-Old Boy,You Do Look Marvelous.I Should Do Something Nice For Rita.
Edd Went Out And Got Her A Dozen Red Roses.He Then Went And Knocked On Her Door.Rita's Mother Answered.
Rita's Mother:Yes?
Edd:I'm Edd.Is Rita Ready Yet?
Rita's Mother:Oh,You're Edward! Rita's On Her Way Down.
Rita's Mother Walked Off,And Rita Walked Down The Stairs And Greeted Edd At The Door.She Wore A White,Strapless Gown,With White Satin Shoes.
Edd:Good Evening,Rita!
Rita:Good Evening,Edd!
Edd Gave Her The Roses.
Edd:I Bought These For You...
Rita Sniffed Them And Smiled.
Rita:They're Just Lovely! I'll Put Them Inside,One Moment Please.
Rita Ran Inside.
Rita:Oh,Mother! Look At The rose Edd Bought For Me!
Rita's Mother:Oh,How Sweet Of Him! I'll Put Them In Water For You.Have Fun!
Rita:I Will!
Rita Walked Back,And Edd Took Her Hand,But te Could See He Was Sweating Under His Hat.
Rita:You Look So Handsome In That Tuxedo,Edd...
Edd:Thank You.You Look Very Beautiful In That Gown,Rita...
Rita:Thank You.
Edd Led Her To The Cul-De-Sac,(She Lived In The successivo Cul-De-Sac Over),And The Entire Cul-De-Sac Was Still Outside Playing.(Hey,It's SUMMER!)And They Were Staring At Them.
Kevin:Double-Dork Got A Date!
Edd:Why,Yes I Did Kevin.A Nice One At That.Mabye successivo Time te Should Get Off Your Bottom And Try To Get One Yourself.
Kevin:Well...Um....
Rita:Nice One,Edd!
Eddy:Well,Well,Well! A Lovely Couple! Sit Down,Won't You?
Eddy Led Them To A tavolo In The Middle Of The Cul-De-Sac,And Sat Them Down.
Edd:Um,Eddy...
Eddy Came Up And Lit Some Candles On The Table,And Gave Them Some Menus.
Rita:I Guess Eddy Planned This Out For Us...
They Looked Inside Their Menus,And Were Suprised At What They Saw.
Edd:Let's See Here...
The Menu:
Eddy's Famous Omelettes(You Haven't Lived Till' You've Tried One!- Eddy)
Ed's Tuna Raviloi(I Don't Know,He's ED!-Eddy)
Kevin's Parmesian Spaghetti(He Talked Me Into It.-Eddy)
Kanker Burgers(I Swiped The Recipe From Lee.-Eddy)
Rolf's Nana's Stuffed Peppers (EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK.-Eddy)
Drinks-Root Beer.
Edd:I Didn't Know Kevin Could Cook.
Edd:This Is A Tad Disturbing...
Rita:Well,We Better Try It,Just To Be Polite.
Edd:You're Right.
They Took Their Orders.Edd Had Kevin's Spaghetti,And Rita Was Feeling A Bit Daring That Night,So She Ordered Ed's Tuna Ravioli.
Edd:Rita! That Is DARING!
Rita:Thank You,Edd.
Eddy:Your Root Beers!
Rita:Oh! Thanks,Eddy.
Edd:Thank You,Eddy.
They Took Them,And Eddy Zoomed Off Again.
Edd:Rita,I Have A Question,And Forgive Me For Prying,But,What Was It That Attracted te To Me?
Rita:Well,You're Very Polite,You're Very Intelligent,You're Very Nice,And You're Cute.
Edd:Oh...Thank You.
Eddy Ran Up.
Eddy:Here te Are!
Eddy Set The Dishes Down,And Ran Off.They Picked Up Their Forks,And Edd Tried Kevin's Spaghetti.
Edd:Hmm...(Swallows)A Fine Dish,A Tad Spicy.
Rita:I Didn't Know spaghetti COULD Be Spicy.
Rita Popped A Ravioli In Her Mouth,And The Entire Cul-De-Sac Watched In Awe.
Rita:Hmm...(Swallows)This Is Delicious! I'll Have To Get The Recipe From Ed.
Edd:May I Try?
Rita:Be My Guest.
Edd Tried One,Swallowed,And Smiled.
Edd:It Is Good!
Rita:Let Me Try Some Of That Spaghetti...
Rita Tried Some.
Rita:(Swallow)Wow,That IS Spicy!
They Ate,And Talked About The libri They Read Today.
Rita:Did te Know That I Play Guitar?
Edd:No! Electric o Acoustic?
Rita:Acoustic.Do te Play Any Instruments?
Edd:I Do Play Pedal Steel Guitar.
Rita:Oh!
They Finish,And Ed Runs Up And Takes The Dishes.
Ed:Do Not Adjust Your Set!
Ed Runs Off.
Eddy Puts On A Record,And It Plays,"Sara Smile"By Daryl Hall And John Oates.Edd Gets Up And Reaches Out His Hand.
Edd:Care To Dance?
Rita:I'd Amore To.
Rita Takes His Hand,And They Get Really Close,Until There Is No spazio Between Them,And They Begin To Waltz Through The Cul-De-Sac,And Ed Gets Rid Of The tavolo And Chairs So They Wouldn't Bump Into It.Edd Twirled Rita,They Seperated,One Hand Holding Them Together,And Rejoined,Gazing Deep Into Each Other's Eyes.
Edd:Rita,You Dance Beautifully...
Rita:I Aim To Please,Edd....
They Smile,And Edd Dips Rita,They Hold For A Moment,And Then He Raises Her Back Up Again.They Continue To Dance,Until The Song Ends,And Edd Kisses Her Hand.Rita Blushes.
Sarah:Hmph.I Hate That Rita.Squealin' On Me.
Jimmy:But They Look So Happy,Sarah!
Rolf:Rita-Girl Is Nice.
Johnny:She Called Me Bald!
Plank:...
Nazz:She's Okay...
Kevin:She Blows!
They Walk Off,And Edd Leads Her To Her House.
Rita:I Had A Wonderful Time Tonight,Edd...
Edd:As Did I,Rita...
Rita:Goodnight...
Edd:Goodnight...
The Two Moved In For Their First Kiss...
Marie:RITA!!!
The Two Freeze,Inches Away From Each Other's Lips.Marie Was None Too Pleased...
Marie:What The Hell Are te DOING,Muscling In On MY Guy???
Rita:He's Not Yours Just Because te Say He Is! He's Not Your Property!
Marie:Says Who?
Rita:Says Me! Now,I'd Appreciate It If You'd Please Leave.
Marie:Edd,Is This True?
Edd:Well...Um...(Meekly)Yes.
Marie Looks Shocked,Then Angry.
Marie:Why You...
Edd:Are te A Good Runner?
Rita:Good Enough.
The Two Make A Run For It,Marie Hot On Their Tail.They Take A Turn,And Run Into Edd's Room.They Lock The Door,And Sit Down On Edd's Bed.
Edd:I Think We Lost Her...
Rita:It's Just Cruel The Way She Treats You...
They Look At Each Other And Smile.
Rita:Wheren't We In The Middle Of Something When We Were Rudely Interupted?
Edd:Why Yes...Would te Like It Completed Now?
Rita:Yes,Thank You...
They sposta In For Their First Kiss,And...*Kiss* They Hold That Position For A Moment,Eyes Closed,Then They Separate And Smile.
Phone Ringing
Edd:Excuse Me.
Edd risposte The Phone.
Edd:Double-D's Room.Double-D Speaking….Oh,Hello Mother!…Yes,Rita's Here….Why,We'd Amore To!…Thank You,Mother…Goodbye.
Edd Hangs Up.
Rita:Who Was That?
Edd:It Was My Mother.She'd Like To Know If We'd Like To Come On A Visit To The Local Art Museum This Tuesday With Your Parents.
Rita:Sounds Exhilerating!
Edd Looks At His Clock.
Edd:Oh,My! It's Almost 9:00! Your Parents Must Want te home da Now.
Rita:Yes,They're Very Strict On Curfews.Well,I Had A Wonderful Time.Thanks.
Edd:I Also Had The Same Results.Goodnight,Rita.
Rita:Goodnight,Edd.
Rita Walks Off.She Walks In The Door,Her Mother Is Waiting For Her.
Rita's Mom:Right On Time,Rita! How Was Your Date?
Rita:Wonderful! Edd's So Sweet! And We're Accompanying te On Your Trip To The Art Mueseum This Tuesday.
Rita's Mom:Wonderful!
Rita:By The Way…
Rita Whispered,"I Got My First Kiss."Into Her Mother's Ear.
Rita's Mom:Gosh,You're Turning Into A Woman So Fast…
Rita's Father:Rita,Time For Bed!
Rita:Yes,Father.
Rita Walks Up The Stairs To Bed,And Edd Was Asleep As Well.
********************
It Was Friday Evening,And Edd And Rita Were Dressed Up Nice,And At The Theatre.
Edd:These Are Very Nice Seats.Very Close.
Rita:The Theater Looks Just Lovley! This Is The First Play I've Ever Seen Performed Actually.
Edd:Really? The First Play I Saw Was With My Parents,I Saw Shakespeare's,"Romeo And Juliet".
Rita:Oh! Shh…It's Starting.
The Play Started.(It's Very Long,So To Spare te The Trouble,Let's Skip To The End.)The Two Were Walking Hand In Hand Out Of The Theatre.
Edd:What An Exciting,Humorus Play!
Rita:Yes,It Was Exciting And Humorus,But I Did Feel A Bit Sorry For Hermia.
Edd:Don't We All.
Edd Walked Rita Home,And Then He Went home Himself.And I Bet te Didn't Know This,But This All Happened In Just Two Weeks.
~The End~
