Prince Edward: Giselle!
[leaps off a bridge, begins to sing]
Prince Edward: I've been dreaming of a...
[a group of cyclists collide with Prince Edward, everyone collapses]

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Prince Edward: [talking to a TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!
Mary Ilene Caselotti: [on TV] Reporting from 116th and Broadway.
Prince Edward: One hundred and sixteenth and Broadway!
[hugs the TV]
Prince Edward: Thank te mirror!
[kisses it and runs off]

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Giselle: [singing] How does she know...
Robert: [laughs] No, don't.
Giselle: te Amore her? / How does she know...
Robert: People look-looking.
Giselle: She's yours?
Robert: [interrupting] Don't sing. It's OK, te know. Let's just walk. Can we walk?
Giselle: [speaks] Well, does she?
Robert: Yeah.

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Prince Edward: [threatening Robert with his sword] Have te any last words before I dispatch you?
Robert: te have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words!

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Prince Edward: [holds sword in front of construction worker's neck, trying to find Giselle] I seek a beautiful girl. My life partner, my one coquette, the answer to my love's duet.
Arty: [stuttering] I-I'd like to find one of them too, te know?

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Prince Edward: Nathaniel likes the way I leap?

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Prince Edward: I'm handsome even when I sleep?

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Giselle: Is that the only word te know? "No?"
Robert: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, No!
Giselle: "No! No! No!" Over and over! When te keep saying "No!" it just makes me so... Sometimes te make me so!... angry.
[laughs really hard]

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morgan Philip: Remember, when te go out not to put too much makeup otherwise the boys will get the wrong idea and te know how they are...
[off Giselle's wide-eyed look]
morgan Philip: They're only after one thing.
Giselle: What's that?
morgan Philip: [laughs] I don't know. Nobody will tell me.

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Robert: [Giselle and the other people at Central Park all start singing] He knows the song too? I've never heard this song before! What the hell is it?

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Queen Narissa: [transforms into a dragon] If I'm to remain Queen I'll need a story for when I go back to Andalasia. What about "a giant, dangerous monster appeared and killed everyone, and poor Queen Narissa she just couldn't save them!" Let's start with the girl who started it all!
Robert: [pushes Giselle further behind him] Over my dead body!
Queen Narissa: [shrugs] Alright, I'm flexible.
[grabs Robert instead]

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Queen Narissa: [Giselle climbs towards her] Oh my, this is a twist in our story! It's the Ribelle - The Brave little princess coming to the rescue.
Queen Narissa: [looking at Robert] I guess this makes te the damsel in distress, huh, handsome?

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Robert: [after Giselle has bitten the poisoned apple] Please, don't leave me.

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Robert: [singing to Giselle along with the bandleader at the ball] Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come, so far. We are so close.

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Robert: Would te like me to call someone for you?
Giselle: I don't think they would hear te from here.

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Robert: [struggling to break free of her grasp] You're crazy!
Queen Narissa: No. Spiteful, vindictive, *very large*, but never crazy.

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[Prince Edward is on superiore, in alto of a bus thinking it is a monster]
Prince Edward: You've met your match, te foul bellowing beast!
[Edward stabs the bus and every passenger is in shock]
Bus Driver: Everybody stay on the bus.
Prince Edward: Giselle? My love?
Pip in New York: Giselle?
Prince Edward: Right. The steel beast is dead peasants! I've set te all free!
Bus Driver: [gets off the bus and yells at Edward] Are te crazy? Nobody stabs my bus! I'll tear te apart! Do te hear me? te get down here right now!
Nathaniel: Madam, allow me...
Prince Edward: Nathaniel, old friend.
Nathaniel: Sire, may I suggest that you, uh...
Bus Driver: You? A friend a' his? Crazy tight-wearin'... Are te tryin' to mess up my route?
[Pip jumps onto her head and mimics her]
Bus Driver: I'll tear te both apart! Don't te roll your eyes at me, you...
[Nathaniel points to Pip and the bus driver looks up]
Bus Driver: A RAT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!
Prince Edward: Well, strictly speaking, he's a chipmunk.
Nathaniel: Sire, may I suggest we seek elsewhere for your bride?

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Nathaniel: [talking on the phone while in a taxi cab] No, uh... I've always treated her like a queen, but... lately I'm starting to feel there's this whole other side to her, like I... I don't even know her anymore.
Radio Therapist: [over the radio] I think te need to take her aside and find out how she really feels about you.
Queen Narissa: [peeks in through open taxi cab window] Hello, Worthless. Miss me?

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[Nathaniel arrives in New York]
Arty: Let me guess. You're looking for a beautiful girl, too?
Nathaniel: No, actually, I'm looking for a prince.
Arty: Riiiight.

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Pip in Andalasia: [realizing his added weight on the troll causes the entire branch to sink lower] Whoa, I gotta lay off da nuts!

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Giselle: Why are te staring at me?
Robert: I don't know. It's just that... it's like te escaped from a Hallmark card o something.
Giselle: Is that a bad thing?

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[after seeing Giselle being reawakened da true love's kiss]
Ballroom Lady #1: Wasn't that lovely?
Ballroom Lady #2: I agree. So much better than last year's show.

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Prince Edward: Go ahead, Pip. What is it te want to say?
Pip in New York: [clears his throat, squeaks] te with me.
[rubs "hands" together and points to Nathaniel, trying to tell Edward that Nathaniel is a traitor]
Prince Edward: Nathaniel?
Pip in New York: [squeaking] Uh-huh. Nathaniel.
Prince Edward: Nathaniel's glad to have me near.
Pip in New York: [squeaking] No-no-no-no-no!
[imitates Nathaniel and then scurries to a soda cup indicating that he saw Nathaniel talking to Narissa in a boiling pot and made three apples appear]
Pip in New York: Broop, broop, broop.
Pip in New York: [takes a piece of ice as if it were an apple. Imitates Nathaniel again] Giselle.
[imitates Giselle Canto "True Love's Kiss"]
Prince Edward: Oh, I know this one.
Pip in New York: [as Nathaniel] Apple?
[as Giselle]
Pip in New York: No, thank you.
[as Nathaniel]
Pip in New York: It's good.
[as Giselle]
Pip in New York: Oh, okay.
[crunches on the ice and imitates death and then strikes a "tada" pose and waits for Edward's interpretation]
Prince Edward: te feel you'd die without me here.

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[Prince Edward and Nancy are about to marry when Nancy's cell phone suddenly goes off]
Nancy Tremaine: Oops. I'm so sorry. Wow! You've got great reception here.

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Giselle: Goodness, we sure had a lot of excitement tonight. Were te scared?
morgan Philip: A little bit, but do te think Pip will be ok?
Giselle: Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about Pip. He is very brave. I remember this one time, when the poor lupo was being chased da Little Red Riding cappuccio around his grandmother's house, and she had an axe... oh, and if Pip hadn't been walking da to help I don't know what would've happened!
morgan Philip: I don't really remember that version.
Giselle: Well, that's because Red tells it a little differently.

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morgan Philip: The pizza is breathing!

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Robert: [tries to stop Nancy from leaving] What... what about taking morgan to school, te know, for some grown-up girl bonding time?
Nancy Tremaine: What, so te can have some grown-up girl bonding time?
Nancy Tremaine: [glares pointedly at Giselle]
Nancy Tremaine: I don't think so.

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Giselle: Is this a habit of yours? Falling off of stuff?
Robert: Only when you're there to catch me.

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Prince Edward: Silence! te vile, murderous wretch! Once we return, all of Andelasia will know of your treachery. Your days as Queen will be over!
Queen Narissa: Take my crown? Don't te think that's a little melodramatic, dear?
Prince Edward: I don't know what "melodramatic" means... but you'll be removed the throne, Narissa, I will see to it.

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[Prince Edward knocks on a random door in Robert's apartment building, trying to find Giselle]
Pregnant Woman with Kids: [taking in Edward's "Prince Charming" getup] ... You're too late.
Prince Edward: [stricken] My apologies.

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Prince Edward: Fear not, Giselle! I will rescue you!
Pip in Andalasia: Yeah, but who's gonna rescue MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

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[Prince Edward sits on a remote control and sees the TV turn on]
Prince Edward: It seems as if this box controls the Magic Mirror.

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Prince Edward: Thank te for taking care of my bride, peasants.

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Giselle: [after leaving the shower] Good morning, Robert. I hope te had wonderful dreams.
Robert Philip: I think I'm still in one.

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Giselle: Oh, it's you.
Prince Edward: Yes, it's me. And te are?
Giselle: Giselle.
Prince Edward: Oh, Giselle! We shall be married in the morning!

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Nathaniel: Sire, do te like yourself?
Prince Edward: What's not to like?

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Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip: What kind of place?
Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow o a hollow tree.
Robert Philip: A hollow tree?
Giselle: o a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.

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[an angry midget runs under Giselle's dress]
Grumpy: Hey! Watch it, will ya?
Giselle: Grumpy!
Grumpy: Geez, lady! Are te for real?
Giselle: I-I think so.

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Giselle: Nobody has been very nice to me.
Robert: Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Giselle: Thank you.

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Giselle: [singing] Well, does he take te out dancing / Just so he can hold te close?
Robert: [speaking] I don't dance!
Giselle: Dedicate a song / With words meant just for you? / Ooh ooh
Robert: [speaking] And I really don't sing.

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[greeting Robert at the King's and Queen's Ball]
Giselle: I'm surprised. te detto te couldn't dance.
Robert: I detto I didn't. I never detto I couldn't.

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Giselle: [after Robert knocks on the bathroom door] Hello?
Robert: Okay, te know what? te gotta go. Look, I don't know what your deal is, if you're waiting around for Prince Charming o you're just...?
Giselle: Prince Edward.
Robert: Whatever. Look, I'll get te to a bus, a train, a plane, a whatever, then, that's it. After that, I can't... I can't get involved after that.
[Giselle emerges from the bathroom in a bright blue dress]
Robert: Where did te get that?
Giselle: I made it. Do te like it?
[Robert notices dress-shaped holes in his curtains, and looks quite shocked]
Giselle: You're unhappy.
Robert: *You made a dress out of my curtains*?
Giselle: Oh, te are unhappy!

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[first lines]
Narrator: Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom known as Andalasia, there lived an evil queen. Selfish and cruel, she lived in fear that one giorno her stepson would marry and she would lose her trono forever. And so she did all in her power to prevent the prince from ever meeting the one special maiden with whom he would share true love's kiss.

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[last lines]
Narrator: And so, they all lived happily ever after.

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[talking about Giselle]
Sam: She has no driver's license, no passport, I can't even find this place she comes from.
Robert: What place?
Sam: Andalusia.
Robert: Andalasia.
Sam: Whatever. I've called every travel agent. I'm not sure if it's a country o a city.
Robert: It can't be a state.
[Both watch Giselle recitazione strangely]
Sam: più like a state of mind. She told me it's just beyond the meadows of joy and the valley of contentment. What is that all about?

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Phoebe Banks: Everybody has problems. Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice all the good times because of them?
Phoebe Banks, Ethan Banks: [looking into one another's eyes] No.

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Robert: Oh my.
Giselle: Oh my. He's here!
Robert: Apparently.
Giselle: Oh my. Oh my goodness. How do I look?
Robert: Slightly stunned.
Giselle: No, I mean, how do I look?
[mean her appearance]
Robert: te look... beautiful.

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Robert: Now she thinks that te and I...
Giselle: Kissed?
Robert: Yeah, something like that.

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Robert: So, what's the deal with this prince of yours? How long te been together?
Giselle: [wistfully] Oh, about a day.
Robert: te mean it feels like a giorno because you're so in love.
Giselle: No, it's been a day.
Robert: You're kidding me. A day? One day?
Giselle: Yes.
[wistful again]
Giselle: And tomorrow it will be two days.
Robert: You're joking.
Giselle: No. I'm not.
Robert: Yeah, te are.
Giselle: But I'm not.
Robert: You're gonna marry somebody after a day? Because te fell in Amore with him?
Giselle: Yes.
[grins]
Giselle: Yes!
Robert: [laughs as she drags him away]

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Giselle: What about you? How long have te known your Nancy?
Robert: Uh, five years.
Giselle: And te haven't proposed?
Robert: Well, no, I...
Giselle: Well no wonder she's angry.
Robert: Well...

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Robert: te know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
Giselle: Date?
Robert: Yeah, te know. Date.
[Giselle shakes her head not understanding]
Robert: te go someplace special, like a restaurant, o a movie, o museum, o te just hang out and te talk.
Giselle: What do te talk about?
Robert: About each other. About yourself. About your interests, your likes your dislikes, te talk.
[both laugh]
Giselle: Oh, te have such strange ideas about love.
Robert: Maybe we should just do what te do. te meet, te have lunch, and te get married.
Giselle: Oh, te forgot about happily ever after.
Robert: Forget about happily ever after, it doesn't exist.

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Nancy Tremaine: [gushing happily] Usually te just send an email with those digital flowers. These are exquisite. Where do te find live doves in New York?

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Robert: [off Giselle's look] What?
Giselle: This is a very nice place.
Robert: Yeah?
Giselle: And we're eating dinner.
Robert: Yeah.
Giselle: [happily] This is a date!
Robert: Yeah!
[happy then realizing his mistake]
Robert: No! No. No, no, no, no. We're just, um, we're just friends.

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Robert: [after talking on the phone] It was Nancy. She's a lot like the woman in your book. Sweetie... I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
morgan Philip: What?
Robert: Ye, te like her, don't you? We all get along, we have a good time together.
morgan Philip: Where's she going to live?
Robert: She's gonna live with us
morgan Philip: Do I have to give up my bedroom?
Robert: No, te don't have to give up your bedroom. No. Come on, It's gonna be great. I promise. It's not like she's gonna try and be your mother.
morgan Philip: te mean stepmother.
Robert: She's gonna be a nice stepmother. She's gonna take te to school tomorrow, just te and her, for some grown-up girl-bonding time.
morgan Philip: I'm only six.
Robert: te won't always be.

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Prince Edward: [singing] Yes, there's a maid somewhere I've never met/ Who was made...
Giselle: [smiles, realizes she wasn't paying attention to what he was singing]
Prince Edward: [prompting] ... who was made...
[pauses, and then prompts in a soprano]
Prince Edward: ... to finish...
Giselle: What's wrong?
Prince Edward: You're not singing.
Giselle: Oh. Oh, no I'm not. Well, I was just thinking.
Prince Edward: [perplexed] Think-ing...?

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morgan Philip: But I think she might be a real princess!
Robert Philip: morgan honey, just because she has on a funny dress doesn't mean she's a princess. She's a seriously confused woman who's fallen into our laps.

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[repeated line]
Queen Narissa: Speciosus, formosus, praeclarus!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy Tremaine: baciare her, Robert! It's okay.

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Queen Narissa: [after being accused of poisoning Giselle] Why would I ever align myself with that buffoon? I mean, think about it. Why...?
Prince Edward: Silence! te lying, murderous wretch! When we return home, Andalasia shall know of your treachery. Your days as Queen will be over!
Queen Narissa: Take my crown? Don't te think that's a bit melodramatic, dear?
Prince Edward: I don't know what "melodramatic" means, but you'll be removed from the throne, Narissa. I will see to it.

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Queen Narissa: We're coming to the end of our story now. Are te at the edge of your seat, Giselle? Just dying to know how it ends? How about this, and they all lived happily ever after? Well, at least I did.

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Giselle: I was just thinking.
Prince Edward: Think-ing?
Giselle: Before we leave, there's one thing I would Amore to do.
Prince Edward: Well, name it my love, and it is done.
Giselle: I want to go on a date.
Prince Edward: A date!
Prince Edward: What's a date?