Monica: I still cant believe we have this house! I Amore te soo much, I wish we could just lie here all day.
Chandler: Yeah me too..I wish I didn't have to go to work today.
(Babies start to cry)
Chandler: Ugh!
Monica: (Getting up) I got them, te just get ready for work. (Kisses Chandler, and then walks out. Monica grabs them both Erica frist then Jack, walks down stairs to put them in their high chairs. She heats up their bottles. Chandler walks downstairs.)
Monica: OWW!! DAMN IT!!
Chandler: What, Whats wrong!
Monica: The bottle Its to hot, it burned me when I tested it.
Chandler: Oh I had that happen before...yeah that doesn't feel so good.
(Monica waits until they cool off then gives the bottles to the babies)
Chandler: To bad I can't stay here and help te with the kids.
Monica: Thats alright Phoebe is coming da later to help out. So it wont be that bad.
Chandler: Are te saying that im not good with kids, that I don't know what im doing!
Monica: Honey, te know I think te are great with the kids. It's just that Phoebe has had più experience she knows what shes doing.
Chandler: I know what im doing.
Monica: Oh yeah, then why do te always call me to change their diapers.
Chandler: I only do that when it is really bad.
Monica: Oh and it just so happens to be bad everytime.
Chandler: All right I got to go o im going to be late. (Kisses Monica and then leaves)
Monica: Ok, bye Amore you.
(Scene fades to see Ross and Rachel having breakfest)
Rachel: (Talking to Emma) Aww, honey don't throw your food. (Emma still throws food)
Ross: Emma sweetie please don't throw your Cibo on the ground. te need to eat it, see like daddy.
Rachel: Ross honey, im pretty sure she knows how to eat.
Ross: (Getting up from the table) Well yeah, but..forget it can we change the subject please.
Rachel: ok...OH MY GOD!!
Ross: What!
Rachel: The baby just kicked! (Holding her stomach Ross rushs over to feel. Of course he is to late and the baby doesn't kick again.)
Ross: (Talking to the Rachel's stomach) Come on baby kick again. Kick again for daddy.
Rachel: Sweetie I Amore the baby talk and everything, but im afraid if te talk to my stomach like that again Emma will think te are a little weird.
Ross: (Looks at Rachel with a blank look)
(Scene fades out to Mike and Phoebe, with Mike on the divano Leggere the newspaper and Phoebe looking for her shoes)
Phoebe: Mike have te seen my shoes?
Mike: Yes honey, and once again they do remind me of James Brolin dressed up as Santa Claus.
Phoebe: No..I mean do te know where they might be? But thanks for the compliment.
Mike: oh, no I haven't seen them. Why do te need them anyway?
Phoebe: Because I was going to go over to Monica and Chandler's to help with the twins.
Mike: (Getting up) Ok, ciao ill come with you.
Phoebe: (Finds her shoes and puts them on)Are..are te sure? Chandler is not going to be there so it's just going to be Monica.
Mike: Oh, yeah...(setting down) I will just go hang out with Joey.
Phoebe: Ok, well have fun with that. (She walks out the door)
(Scene fades back to Monica and Chandler's house. Monica is getting the twins dressed. Phoebe walks in)
Phoebe: OH MY GOD MONICA WHAT IS THAT SMELL!!
Monica: AWWW MAN! I just changed him.
Phoebe: Mon, I know your knew at this but, bambini tend to poop più than once. I remember when I was with the tripl...
Monica: ...Yeah Phoebe thats great, can te give me a hand.
Phoebe: (Taking the baby from Monica) No...no it wasn't great a pain in the culo was what it was. I was changing them so many times repeatedly that one time I think I may have changed the wrong one a couple times.
(Chandler walks in)
Chandler: ciao im back.
Monica: Why are te back so soon?
Chandler: Well it turns out that I didn't need to come in today.
Monica: Well thats great now te can give us a hand.
Chandler: Three againest Two..ha..Monica give them a chance.
Phoebe: Well here te go Chandler te can take my place. (Hands him Jack)
Chandler: Eww...ewww! This one smells, here Mon switch me.
Monica: See, see that is exactly what I was talking about.
Phoebe: Alright, alright..stop fighting te to need to calm down..everytime I see te now your fighting.
Chandler: Were not fighting, we are having a creative discussion.
(Scene fades out, to Rachel and Ross watching T.V. with Rachels head on Ross' Shoulder, and Emma in the playpen. Telephone Rings)
Ross: I got it.
(Goes and gets the phone)
Ross: Hello...yeah shes right here...its your boss. (Hands the phone to Rachel)
Rachel: Hello...yeah...umm..ok...thanks bye.
Ross: What did he say?
Rachel: I have to go into work today they need my decision on something for this outfit. I might be gone for awhile.
Ross: Ok well then we are going to have to drop Emma off at Monica's, Because I have to leave in like 15 minutes, for a lecture.
Rachel: Alright. Then I will pick her up from there when I am done.
Ross: Ok, ill call Mon to tell her if it's ok if I can drop her off for a couple hours.
Rachel: K, Amore te (Kisses Ross then walks out the door)
(Scene fades to Joey and Mike playing fireball)
Joey: I don't know Mike this game maybe out of your league.
Mike: Please, I was born to play fireball.
Joey: Ok, but remember I just added some new twist to make it a little più epic. Now it involves a bowling ball, and a flame thrower...Yeah Chandler couldn't handle it when I showed him. He didn't even give me a chance to mostra him the cool outfits we get to wear.
Mike: What-cool-outfits?
Joey: (Holding the flame thrower) Well te see Mike if te get involved with things like this te might need fuoco proof outfits..or as I like to call them "The Tin Foil to my bake potatoe"
(Scene fades out to Monica and Chandlers house with Chandler and Phoebe playing with the kids and Monica cooking lunch)
Chandler: Phoebe I would really appreciate it if te dont let my daughter chew on your shoe.
Phoebe: ciao that rhymes chew, shoe..chew shoe
Chandler: Phoebe!!
(Phone rings, Monica picks it up)
Monica: Hello...yeah sure, what time...alright..k bye.
Chandler: Who was that?
Monica: Ross they are going to bring Emma over for a couple hours.
Chandler: te know im starting to get the feeling that they are just using us now, te know I have a life too..Pheebs can te hand me the bottle.
(Phoebe hands Chandler the bottle. Monica runs to the bathroom)
Chandler: oh, no! (Chandler gets up and runs to the bathroom)
Chandler: Mon, Mon are te alright.
Monica: (Breathing heavly) Yeah..(sniffs)..yeah, (Opens the door)
Monica: All of a sudden I felt really sick.
Chandler: (Kisses Monica's forehead) te don't seem to have a fever. Are te sure your ok.
Monica: yeah, yeah im fi...(Runs back in the bathroom)
(Phoebe comes in)
Phoebe: ciao is everything alright. Ross is here with Emma.
Chandler: Yeah. Tell Ross we will be there in a minute.
(Phoebe leaves)
Chandler: (Speaking to Monica) Why don't te go lie down, and I will finish cooking lunch. Pheebs will help me with the kids.
Monica: Alright honey. (Kisses Chandler. Monica goes to the bedroom. Chandler goes in the livingroom)
Chandler: (speaking to Ross) Hey
Ross: Hey, is everything alright with Monica?
Chandler: No, shes not feeling to good.
Ross: Oh, do te still want to watch Emma? I can bring her to Joey's if...
Chandler: No don't worry about it, your already here.
Ross: Ok, well heres all of her stuff and her diaper bag (Handing it to Chandler)
(Scene fades out to Joey and Mike. Mike is holding the fuoco extanguisher, While Joey if holding the flame thrower)
Mike: Joey are te sure this game is sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza to play inside...or even sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza at all?
Joey: Yeah, yeah of course its safe. Why else would I have this outfit on, o a fuoco extanguisher.
Mike: Umm..because its not safe.
(long pause)
Joey: I knew I should of asked Chandler to play.
(Scene fades to Monica and Chandler's house. Phoebe and Chandler are feeding the twins, while Emma is in her high chair, and Monica comes in the kitchen)
Chandler: ciao honey, how te feelin.
Monica: A little better. Man I got sick a lot. It was so bad even te would be saying "Could I be..puking anymore".
Chandler: Ha-ha-ha..very funny.
Phoebe: ciao Mon I have to be with a client in 20 minutes. Can te take him?
Monica: Sure
(Phoebe hands Monica Jack)
Phoebe: Well this was fun. I would stay longer, but...I have a client..so...bye!
Chandler: Do te think she really does have a client? o is she just tired of us.
Monica: Well being with te for that long I would get tired of te too.
Chandler: But te have been with me longer than that.
Monica: Yeah but we can mess around...you know.
Chandler: haha..yeah.
(Monica puts Jack down in his crib. Then Chandler does the same with Erica)
Chandler: So how are te really feeling?
Monica: Not to great. I don't know it might be Cibo posining, o maybe I got the flu.
Chandler: Or...
Monica: No...no its not possible.
Chandler: Alright, if te say so.
Monica: But I can always do a test to find out.
Chandler: Yeah.
(Emma starts to cry)
Monica: Ill get her, te go and get the letto ready for her.
(Monica goes to get Emma. She finds Emma with a porn magazine)
Monica: Emma, Emma give me the magazine. (She see's that Emma's finger is scraped and bleeding. Trying to pull the magazine away)
Monica: Come on Emma give aunt Monica the magazine, and we don't have to tell mommy about this. Chandler! Chandler get in here!
Chandler: What, What is it.
Monica: Emma got a hold of your magazine, and got a paper cut. I told te not leave stuff like this laying around. Now if Rachel finds one little scratch on this baby, she is going to hunt down and kill who ever did it.
Chandler: ok, ok, Mon chill out. It's just a little scratch it will heal.
Monica: Try telling that to Rachel.
(A door slams, Monica looks outside to see Rachel coming to the front door)
Monica: Oh my god it's Rachel.
(Door campana, bell rings, Monica anwsers the door)
Monica: ciao Rach.
Rachel: Hey, im here to pick up Emma.
Monica: Yeah
(short pause)
Rachel: May I come in?
(Monica moves out of the way)
Monica: Yeah.
(They stares at eachother like there is something wrong. Chandler walks into the room with Emma and her diaper bag. giving it to Rachel)
Chandler: Here te go..ha ok thanks goodbye now!
Rachel: Wait, Wait. How was she.
Monica: Great, yeah she wasn't bad at all.
Rachel: Awsome, ok well ill see te la...wait, wait what is this...hhhh WHAT DID te DO TO MY BABY!!!
Monica: What do te mea...hhhh CHANDLER! WHAT DID te DO!!
Chandler: What..hhh..WHAT DI...where did Phoebe go.
Monica: Alright. Chandler and I were putting the twins down, then came back for Emma and she had a magazine in her hand and she got a paper cut.
Rachel: Well why didn't te at less put a band-aid on her finger.
Chandler: Well because...we wanted to let nature do it's thing.
Rachel: Hhhha...what a pathetic excuse. Mon te really need to talk to him about his jokes.
Monica: Yeah I know.
(Rachel walks out the door Monica shuts the door behind her)
Monica: "We wanted to let nature do it's thing"
Closing Credits:
(Monica walks in the livingroom to find Chandler sitting on the divano playing with Erica, while watching T.V. She walks in holding a pregnancy test)
Monica: Im pregnant.
(Chandler runs to baciare Monica)
