The lista of Forbidden Pastimes for Fred and George
da Molly Weasely
1- I am not allowed to refer to pickled newt's brain as 'Snape Food'.
2- The same rule applies to bad dung.
3- I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in cerca of his 'Pot o' Gold'.
4- Nor am I allowed to tell people he's a leprechaun on steroids.
5- I may not domanda the Hufflepuff's loyalty.
6- I am not allowed to purposefully charm Filch's underwear into a wedgie.
7- Nor am I allowed to do it 'by accident'.
8- I am not allowed to yodel during important parts of Dumbledore's speech.
9- The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason. I may not tell First Years that there is a party down there.
10- Especially when there isn't.
11- I may not refer to Sirius Black as 'Seriously Black'.
12- Just because I use air Citazioni does not mean the rules have changed.
13- Nor am I allowed to call him a wigga.
14- Blaise Zabini is not my 'brotha from anotha motha'. I am not allowed to call him that.
15- Nor am I allowed to call Draco Malfoy my 'sista from anotha mista'.
16- Even if I do suspect he's a girl.
17- "Like a cow in the springtime" is not an acceptable phrase to use in my essay. I may not do so.
18- I am not allowed to schiaffo, smack others with my wand. For whatever reason – if I have a problem with somebody, I must go to a teacher.
19- Professor McGonagall is not my "bitch".
20- Just because she morphs into a female animal does not make her my "bitch".
21- Nor is she my "home gurl".
22- I am not allowed to refer to my brother as my 'clone'.
23- He is not my 'bookend' either.
24- Nor is Ron, Percy's 'mini-me'.
25- I am not the Easter Bunny.
26- I am not allowed to tell people I am the Easter Bunny.
27- Just because I dress up in a rabbit costume, it does not mean I'm the Easter Bunny; it means I'm weird.
28- I may not 'frolic' to class.
29- I may not sell Hermione's homework for profit.
30- I may not attempt to breed House Elves.
31- Nor may I attempt to buy their children.
32- I may not refer to Slytherins as "Children of the Korn".
33- I am not allowed to call Harry "Scarface".
34- Nor am I allowed to call him "Pothead".
35- I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help 'polishing their wand'. No matter how funny their reactions are.
36- I may not perform last rights on Harry as he sleeps.
37- I am not blind; I may not tell people I am.
38- Nor is my brother dead. I may not tell them that either.
39- The portrait of the Fat Lady is not called 'Piggy'. I may not call her that. Nor may I encourage her to diet.
40- I may not attempt to poke Nearly Headless Nick. No matter how fun it is.
41- I may not initiate an Inter-House Bunking Day.
42- I may not go to class in the Girl's uniform.
43- No matter how 'breezy' I think the gonna is.
44- Hagrid is not going to eat me.
45- I am not "emo". I may not act like I am.
46- I am not allowed to refer to Dumbledore as "pops".
47- I am not a mutated bullfrog. I must remember this.
48- There is no such thing as the 'Ugly Disease'. I may not tell people that they have it.
49- I am not allowed to randomly point at people and shriek.
50- Nor am I allowed to claim that 'their face burns my eyes'.
51- Mike Rotch has heard every possible joke about his name; I may not repeat them.
52- No, that was not a challenge.
53- Building a giant model of the moon made entirely of cheese is not an acceptable extra-credit assignment.
54- I may not refer to Peeves as "Peewee".
55- Nor am I allowed to call him Caspar; his name is Peeves.
56- I may not domanda Ernie as to where 'Bert' is.
57- I am not allowed to ask Hermione why she has a scoiattolo on her head.
58- That is her hair; I must leave it alone.
59- I am not allowed to lick people just for the fun of it.
60- Nor am I allowed to bite them. It is unsanitary.
61- My father is not Micheal Jackson.
62- Neither is my mother.
63- I may not tell Professor Snape that I think he's sexy.
64- Nor may I tell him that I want to have his babies.
65- I may not repeat that to any member of staff. I must remember that I'm male – it's genetically impossible for me to have anyone's babies.
66- No, that was not a challenge.
67- I am not Merlin.
68- Just because I have a shiny hat does not make me Merlin.
69- No one cares about the fact that I think I'm Merlin.
70- I must get over my obsession of spoons.
71- Millicent Bulstrode is not a man; I may not tell her she looks like one.
72- I may not tell people that if they anger me I will eat their first born child.
73- I may not steal Professor Trelawny's glasses just because I like them.
74- I may, however, tell her that they please me.
75- Draco Malfoy is not a vampire. I am not allowed to "stake" him.
76- I am not allowed to form Satanic cults simply because I'm bored.
77- I may not step on the head's of First Years due to the fact that they're shorter than I am.
78- I am not allowed to "inform" people that they have cancer and will promptly die in four days.
79- I may not answer "Yo Momma" when Professor McGonagall asks me if I'm paying attention in class.
80- I may not attempt to bribe Professor Sprout. Especially with leftover vegetables from last night's dinner.
81- I may not publicly accuse Madame Pomfrey of 'sampling' the medication.
82- Nor may I offer to unisciti her.
83- Voldemort is not my uncle.
84- Nor has he ever been.
85- I am not allowed to 'stalk' the First Years.
86- Nor am I allowed to 'hunt' them.
87- Salazar Slytherin is not my 'bitch'.
88- In fact, I have no bitch.
89- Hugging the wrong end of a Blast Ended Skrewt is a bad idea. I may not do so.
90- Ron is not Hermione's pimp. I may not tell everyone that he is.
91- Nor am I her pimp.
92- I may not attempt to 'convert' the Hufflepuffs.
93- I am not allowed to tell everyone that Malfoy blows Snape on a nightly basis.
94- It is not my 'duty' to inform the staff of the large bag of weed under Goyle's bed.
95- Especially if it turns out to be regular cut grass.
96- I may not attempt to cut Snape's hair.
97- Nor am I allowed to sell it.
98- Eating a bar of Cioccolato that weighs più than I do is a bad idea. I may not do so.
99- I may not burst into tears every time someone smiles at me.
100- I am not allowed to randomly develop an accent and switch them at will.
101- The Centaurs are free-thinking creatures; I may not attempt to "tame" them.
102- Nor am I allowed to attempt to breed them.
103- I am not allowed to draw naughty stick figures on the bacheca as the teacher turns around.
104- Nor am I allowed to openly mock her reaction.
105- I may not dye my skin blue.
106- Professor Dumbledore is not a woman in disguise; I may not tell everyone that he is.
107- I may not steal the bludgers and release them during Potions class.
108- I am not allowed to sign Lucius Malfoy up to be a 'playmate'. Nor am I allowed to laugh when he gets accepted.
109- I may not tell Ron that Hermione is a lesbian just to see what he does.
110- I am not allowed to inform Remus that his last name rhymes with "poopin'".
111- I may not claim to be the successivo Dark Lord.
112- Nor may I claim to be "Hogwarts' Queen".
113- I am not allowed to steal the toilet seats in every bathroom.
114- Nor am I allowed to sell them.
115- I am not offer to cook people's owls.
116- Trevor is not food.
117- I am not allowed to strip dance for extra credit.
118- I may not steal everyone's left shoe.
119- Nor may I steal their right ones.
120- I may not steal Collin's camera and use it to take nude pictures of myself.
121- I am not allowed to try and baciare the Giant Squid.
122- I am not allowed to tell Cho that she's putting on weight nicely just to see if she'll cry.
123- I may not attempt to eat Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris.
124- Nor may I attempt to eat his pants.
125- I may not point and laugh at the Ravenclaws.
126- I am not allowed to scream "Rape! Rape!" in a public place every time Professor Snape walks by.
127- I am not allowed to jump students in dark hallways.
128- Nor am I allowed to jump professors there either. In fact, I'm not allowed to jump anyone, anywhere. Dark hallway, o not.
129- No, that was not a challenge.
130- Rita Skeeter in her animagus form will not make a good pet. I may not keep her.
131- I may not throw a wild, raucous party the giorno before an exam.
132- In fact, I'm not allowed to throw a party at all.
133- I may not tell Luna that she belongs in a phsyc ward. No matter how crazy I think she is.
134- I may not steal cutlery from the kitchens.
135- Nor may I attempt to steal the House Elves.
136- Fawkes is not food. I may not eat him.
137- I am not allowed to recite Professor McGonagall's dating history to the class.
138- Especially when I know the lista is fabricated and includes several stray cats.
139-Draco Malfoy is not Harry Potter's illicit lover. I may not tell people he is.
140- Stripping during breakfast is not a great way to mostra Gryffindor bravery; I may not do it.
141- Nor may I do it during dinner.
142- I am not allowed to tell people that I'm "The Fredinator" and that my brother is "The Georgetor".
143- My life motto may not be "what happens in Hogwarts, stays in Hogwarts".
144- I am not allowed to take any Slytherin up on the challenge: "You wouldn't dare hex me, Weasley."
145- Not am I allowed to hex them unchallenged.
146- I may not boccaglio, presa d'aria in the prefect's bathroom.
147- I may not wonder aloud why Myrtle looks so pale today when I know she's in the room.
148- Nor may I mock the way she died.
149- I am not allowed to attempt to suck other people's thumbs.
150- I may not claim that Snape is Dumbledore's bitch. Nor may I allude to any threesome of sorts between them and Voldemort.
151- I am not allowed to send Snape shampoo for christmas.
152- Nor any other time of the year.