1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colori indicate that they are "covered in bees"
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
5. I will not go to class sky clad.
6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate data to the Yule Ball.
7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told te I was hardcore".
8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.
10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.
16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall
17. o anywhere else for that matter.
18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.
21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, o piranha.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to cena and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think it's funny.
32. I will not baciare Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, asit is disturbing.
37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.
38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone it's the new Dark Mark.
39. Asking "How do te keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord lista to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to mostra me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have detto so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.
53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.
54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheromones".
56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".
57. The Malfoys are not Draka.
58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will ceasegoing after the prefects with a sword.
59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.
60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.
61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.
62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.
63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".
64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.
65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird".
66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
67. -Or any other Slytherin.
68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.
69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.
71. -I am not a Professor, at all.
72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with zucca juice.
73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's zucca succo, succo di frutta with Skele-Gro.
74. -It was not an honest mistake.
74. I will not swap Draco's scopa with one out of Filch's scopa cupboard.
76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.
77. -Or the teacher laundry.
78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.
79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.
80. It is generally accepted that Gatti and Draghi cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory,no matter how wicked the result would be.
81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Natale present.
82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.
83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.
84. -Charming the label does not change anything.
85. I am not allowed to eat Cioccolato Frogs in Potions class.
86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.
87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's scrivania, reception to prove this last is unacceptable behaviour.
88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' o prefects' orders.
89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.
90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.
91. -Testing this last is not funny.
92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.
93. May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.
94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.
95. The proper way to segnala to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that te have no evidence."
96. May not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor o Slytherin House in Harry Potter'sYear are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true.
97. I am not possessed da the ghost of Lady Macbeth.
98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.
99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong isindecent.
100. -Especially if I can't.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
5. I will not go to class sky clad.
6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate data to the Yule Ball.
7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told te I was hardcore".
8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.
10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.
16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall
17. o anywhere else for that matter.
18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.
21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, o piranha.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to cena and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think it's funny.
32. I will not baciare Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, asit is disturbing.
37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.
38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone it's the new Dark Mark.
39. Asking "How do te keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord lista to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to mostra me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have detto so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.
53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.
54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheromones".
56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".
57. The Malfoys are not Draka.
58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will ceasegoing after the prefects with a sword.
59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.
60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.
61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.
62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.
63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".
64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.
65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird".
66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
67. -Or any other Slytherin.
68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.
69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.
71. -I am not a Professor, at all.
72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with zucca juice.
73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's zucca succo, succo di frutta with Skele-Gro.
74. -It was not an honest mistake.
74. I will not swap Draco's scopa with one out of Filch's scopa cupboard.
76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.
77. -Or the teacher laundry.
78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.
79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.
80. It is generally accepted that Gatti and Draghi cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory,no matter how wicked the result would be.
81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Natale present.
82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.
83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.
84. -Charming the label does not change anything.
85. I am not allowed to eat Cioccolato Frogs in Potions class.
86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.
87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's scrivania, reception to prove this last is unacceptable behaviour.
88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' o prefects' orders.
89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.
90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.
91. -Testing this last is not funny.
92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.
93. May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.
94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.
95. The proper way to segnala to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that te have no evidence."
96. May not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor o Slytherin House in Harry Potter'sYear are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true.
97. I am not possessed da the ghost of Lady Macbeth.
98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.
99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong isindecent.
100. -Especially if I can't.
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended da me.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
da Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as te say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartuccia (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
te need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the preferito drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will letto yours to command.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
da Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as te say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartuccia (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
te need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the preferito drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will letto yours to command.
the things i have learnet from harry potter, for example:
"'people who wants auothorty are the people who do not deserve it.but, people who did not want the auothorty and had to be leaders.but, the found theirselves good to be leadres.''
when someone asks me about what i want to be in the future.i answer him/her this;
''the most impotant thing is whatever i will be. it would be something useful for my country and for myself''.
if someone read haary potter series before he/she would understanad what am i saying. the last thing i would like to say is thank te harry potter for every thing te have taught me
"'people who wants auothorty are the people who do not deserve it.but, people who did not want the auothorty and had to be leaders.but, the found theirselves good to be leadres.''
when someone asks me about what i want to be in the future.i answer him/her this;
''the most impotant thing is whatever i will be. it would be something useful for my country and for myself''.
if someone read haary potter series before he/she would understanad what am i saying. the last thing i would like to say is thank te harry potter for every thing te have taught me
here is a lista of weasleys wizard wheezes
Pygmy Puffs
Pygmy Paint
Pet Rock
Shield mantello
Shield Gloves
Daydream Charms
SuLices
Self-Sufficient Candles
Self-Sufficient Lantern
Headless Hats
Ever-Bashing Boomerangs
Reusable Hangman
Basic Blaze Box
Self-Shuffling Playing Cards
Instant Darkness Powder
Skiving Snackbox
Ton Tongue Toffees
Dragonbombs
Fake Wands
Screaming Yo-Yo
U-No-Poo
Extendible Ears
Half Price Joke libri
Canary Cream Custards
Muggle Magic Tricks
Portable Swamp
Edible Dark Marks
Potter Specs
Potter Scar
BumblingBaby Binkies
BumblingBaby Bottles
BumblingBaby Blankies
Sludge Sauce
Farcical Foam
Foul Fowl
Bubble Ducky
WonderWitch Amore Potion #10
WonderWitch Morphing Goop
WonderWitch Pimple Vanisher
Punching Spyglass
Deflagration Deluxe
Grow Your Own Warts Kit
Decoy Detonator
Trick Toothbrushes
Weasley Quills
Grow Your Own Furniture Kit
Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray
Pygmy Puffs
Pygmy Paint
Pet Rock
Shield mantello
Shield Gloves
Daydream Charms
SuLices
Self-Sufficient Candles
Self-Sufficient Lantern
Headless Hats
Ever-Bashing Boomerangs
Reusable Hangman
Basic Blaze Box
Self-Shuffling Playing Cards
Instant Darkness Powder
Skiving Snackbox
Ton Tongue Toffees
Dragonbombs
Fake Wands
Screaming Yo-Yo
U-No-Poo
Extendible Ears
Half Price Joke libri
Canary Cream Custards
Muggle Magic Tricks
Portable Swamp
Edible Dark Marks
Potter Specs
Potter Scar
BumblingBaby Binkies
BumblingBaby Bottles
BumblingBaby Blankies
Sludge Sauce
Farcical Foam
Foul Fowl
Bubble Ducky
WonderWitch Amore Potion #10
WonderWitch Morphing Goop
WonderWitch Pimple Vanisher
Punching Spyglass
Deflagration Deluxe
Grow Your Own Warts Kit
Decoy Detonator
Trick Toothbrushes
Weasley Quills
Grow Your Own Furniture Kit
Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray
This is kind of like a song version on Neville's speech in DH part 2. I do not have a clue what I wrote it but I hope te enjoy it.
Hold up your glasses it’s over and done
We fought and we fell but that not good enough
People die every giorno but we can’t let them die in vain
We try to keep moving, we try to keep fighting
Just one più step closer to the ending
If we mess it up give it one più tries
There just no game over were done
At least not tell we have won
We can lose everything
But that’s not going to stop us now
We can’t just walk away from the crimes that te done
Voldemort te going down
And way te can stop us
te can’t break us down
Hold up your glasses it’s over and done
We fought and we fell but that not good enough
People die every giorno but we can’t let them die in vain
We try to keep moving, we try to keep fighting
Just one più step closer to the ending
If we mess it up give it one più tries
There just no game over were done
At least not tell we have won
We can lose everything
But that’s not going to stop us now
We can’t just walk away from the crimes that te done
Voldemort te going down
And way te can stop us
te can’t break us down
1 Egg White (buy ready pasteurised egg white from the shop, rather than just using raw eggs)
12 oz Icing Sugar (powdered sugar)
3 drops Peppermint Essence
Liquorice Laces
Instructions
Whisk egg white until frothy.
Beat in sugar and essence.
Knead well.
Shape into spheres da rolling between palms.
avvolgere in liquorice laces.
Cool in fridge. :)
lollipops (Way-Sour Charms Blow Pops, Dum Dums, etc)
Pop Rocks (whatever flavor te choose)
Instructions
Remove the lollipops from their original wrappers.
Open the Pop Rocks and pour them in a shallow bowl.
If your lollipops are not sticky enough on their own, dip them quickly in plain water.
Roll the lollipops in the Pop Rocks until they are completely covered.
avvolgere them in plain wax paper squares.
The Pop Rocks immediately start losing their "pop" when in contact with the moisture in the lollipops, so assemble these as close in time to serving as possible for the best effect
12 oz Icing Sugar (powdered sugar)
3 drops Peppermint Essence
Liquorice Laces
Instructions
Whisk egg white until frothy.
Beat in sugar and essence.
Knead well.
Shape into spheres da rolling between palms.
avvolgere in liquorice laces.
Cool in fridge. :)
lollipops (Way-Sour Charms Blow Pops, Dum Dums, etc)
Pop Rocks (whatever flavor te choose)
Instructions
Remove the lollipops from their original wrappers.
Open the Pop Rocks and pour them in a shallow bowl.
If your lollipops are not sticky enough on their own, dip them quickly in plain water.
Roll the lollipops in the Pop Rocks until they are completely covered.
avvolgere them in plain wax paper squares.
The Pop Rocks immediately start losing their "pop" when in contact with the moisture in the lollipops, so assemble these as close in time to serving as possible for the best effect
If only we could be together,
te and I,
But our parents would never allow it,
te and I,
Our hearts are broken,
Yours and mine,
I weep for you,
My dear Rose,
Tears run down my face,
Like water flows.
I Amore the way your wand made flowers,
Made me feel like I had super powers.
I Amore your spirit,
Fierce but charming,
Complimenting and healing mine,
Which is hurtfull and harming.
My dad's a butt,
My mum is too,
But te made my cuore soar,
When I was with YOU.
Your the best witch ever,
Inherrited your mum's brains,
Your hair is fiery,
Like a bright pretty flame.
If only we could be together,
te and I,
Forever together,
te and I
te and I,
But our parents would never allow it,
te and I,
Our hearts are broken,
Yours and mine,
I weep for you,
My dear Rose,
Tears run down my face,
Like water flows.
I Amore the way your wand made flowers,
Made me feel like I had super powers.
I Amore your spirit,
Fierce but charming,
Complimenting and healing mine,
Which is hurtfull and harming.
My dad's a butt,
My mum is too,
But te made my cuore soar,
When I was with YOU.
Your the best witch ever,
Inherrited your mum's brains,
Your hair is fiery,
Like a bright pretty flame.
If only we could be together,
te and I,
Forever together,
te and I