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posted by Hermione30
 Book 1
Book 1
Funny Excerpts from the First Book

"Oh, are te a prefect, Percy? te should have detto something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"

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"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE te GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE te A WITCH o NOT!

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Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left Canto along to a very slow funeral march.

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Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large rosa face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt petunia often detto that Dudley looked like a baby angel. Harry often detto that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.

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Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."

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"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first giorno at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," detto Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."

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"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks te don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

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"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask te something?"
"Obviously, you’ve just done so," Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one più thing, however."
"What do te see when te look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks. Another Natale has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

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"Fred, te next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," detto the boy. "Honestly, woman, te call yourself our mother? Can't te tell I'm George?"

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"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" [Harry]
"Throw it away and punch, punzone him in the nose," suggested Ron.

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One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.

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"So te mean the Stone's only sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" detto Hermione in alarm.
"It'll be gone da successivo Tuesday," detto Ron.

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"Now, te two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet o - " [Mrs. Weasley]
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."

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Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," detto Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," detto Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," detto Ron.

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"See?" detto Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza for him, because they're Friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"
"A stone that makes oro and stops te from ever dying!" detto Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."
"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of recente Developments in Wizardry," detto Ron. "He's not exactly recente if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"

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Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more. The evening air had never smelled so sweet. He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last ora in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.

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"It bit me!" he said, mostrare them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.
"I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was Canto it a lullaby."

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"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" detto Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the Come d’incanto barrier. "When they hear what te did this year?"
"Proud?" detto Harry. "Are te crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

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"There was a horrible smell in the cucina successivo morning when Harry went for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.
"What's this?" he asked Petunia.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't realise it had to be so wet."

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