Dr.Gregory House

“I teach te to lie, cheat, and steal, and as soon as my back's turned te wait in line?”

“Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if te jumble it up.”

“So what's your plan? te take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough.”

[Houses' patient has just collapsed] "This is exactly why I created nurses. Clean up on aisle three!”

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

"You talk to God, you're religious; God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"Treating illness is why we became doctors. Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable."

"Truth begins in lies"

"Humanity is overrated"

"Reality is almost always wrong"

"It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."

"I was never that great at math, but successivo to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"

"There is not a thin line between Amore and hate. There is - in fact - a Great bacheca of China with armed sentries postato every 20 feet between Amore and hate."

(to Foreman) "So your solution is to give me drugs?"


Dr.Lisa Cuddy


"It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?" (from Fidelity)

"Is your yelling designed to scare me because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be scared of. più yelling? That's not scary. That you're gonna hurt me? That's scary, but I'm pretty sure I can out run you."

"When I hired you, I knew te were insane. I will continue to try and stop te from doing insane things, but once they're done, trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you, I also set aside fifty thousand a anno for legal expenses. So far, you've come in under budget."

House: Right rudder. Bank, bank, bank!
Cuddy: Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting its tail and you're...
[House's eyes get really wide, and he covers them with his folder]
Cuddy: What are te doing?
House: Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
[Wilson smirks]
Cuddy: I am working. It got hot. Stop recitazione like a 13-year-old!
House: Sorry. te just don't normally see breasts like that on Deans of Medicine.
[Wilson tries to look anywhere except at Cuddy's chest]
Cuddy: Women can't be heads of hospitals? o just ugly ones?
House: No, they can be babes. It's just te don't normally get to see their fun bags.

Cuddy: ...working with people actually makes te a better doctor.
House: When did I sign up for that course?
Cuddy: When did I give te the impression that I care?
House: Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion. (He threatens her) I've got your home number, right? In case anything comes up at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Cuddy: It's not going to work. te know why? Because this is fun. te think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make te miserable: it's a game! And I'm going to win, because I've got a head start. te are already miserable.

House: See, this is why I don't waste money on shrinks, cause te give me all these really great insights for free.
Cuddy: Shrink. If te would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake.

House: (complaining about having to teach a course) Why is it always me?
Cuddy: Because the world hates you. o because it's a class on diagnostics. Pick whatever reason feeds your narcissism better.

We're going to a gallery; we're not getting married.

House, I'm not in heat.

Then sposta on to your secret, secret, secret stash

Cuddy: Where did te come from?
House: Apes, if te believe the Democrats.

Dr.Eric Foreman

"You thought he was being poisoned da hemlock? Dr. Euripides tell te to check for that?" (from Mob Rules)

"House doesn't break rules, he ignores them!"

"When we see a disease rushing down on someone like a train, we can't always get them out of the way!" (From House Training)

(To House)" I did what te would have."..."I hate that I can listen to a kid scream in pain and not even take a moment to domanda if I'm doing the right thing. I hate that in order to be like te as a doctor I have to be like te as a human being. don't want to turn into you."


Dr.James Wilson

"I lied. I've been lying to te in increasing amounts ever since I told te te looked good unshaved, a anno ago. It's a little experiment, te know, see where te draw the line." (from Daddy's Boy)

"You ever tighten a chitarra string really, really slowly? Past the point it can handle the strain? It makes this weird sound, almost like a scream...eeeeeeeh!" (from Alone)

"Dying's easy; living's hard." (from Games)

Get a hooker; anything." (from Distractions)

"Why not? Why not data you? It's brilliant! We've known each other for years, put up with all kinds of crap from each other, and we keep coming back. We're a couple!" (from Don't Ever Change)

"C'est la vie. And I use the French because you're an a**." (from Don't Ever Change)

"She detto she cares about other people? What a poseur." (from Frozen)

"The health department; they frown on topless oncology." (from Frozen)

Foreman: "We need to stop retracing our steps and...get ahead of this thing" (small pause) Wilson: "House! You've tanned!"

"I met someone who... made me feel... funny. Good. And I didn't want to let that feeling go."(after Cameron's reply, "You'd be surprised what te can live with" (from Spin)

"(To House) Either that's real guilt o I've got to see this woman" (from Ugly)

"I'm not on antidepressants. I'm on speeeed!" (from Resignation)


Dr.Allison Cameron

"Sex could kill you. Do te know what the human body goes through when te have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, cuore races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago." (from Occam's Razor)

I still think true Love's out there it's just very far away. Possibly in another galaxy. We may need to develop faster than light travel before we can make contact.

te can't control your emotions...just your actions.

"I'm hitting that and it's totally hot."


Dr.Rober Chase

"No lesions, no aneurysms. Ironically, the mind of a killer looks completely normal." (from Acceptance)         


Dr.Lawrence Kutner

"Ugly" - (Talking to the patient) "I was doing drugs behind my father's back at your age and I had a lot less reason to be.... Not that your life must be miserable.... Not that I am suggesting te should be doing drugs!"

4x02, "The Right Stuff" - "Her cuore is beating." (After he just lit the patient on fuoco because he used the defibrillators in a hyperbaric chamber.)

4x05, "Mirror Mirror" - "I'm not a masochist. I just like experience if it's new its interesting. I'm just easily bored."

4x10, "It's a Wonderful Lie" - "Can we do a Secret Santa?"

4x11, "Frozen" - "NO!!!!" (Kutner actually stood up to House)    


Dr.Chris Taub

House Episode 4x04, "Guardian Angels" - "This game is insane."

House Episode4x12, "Don't Ever Change" - "Look, she's nuts, but we can't just give her ten CCs of atheism and send her home."
House Episode 4x07, "Ugly" - House: "You're not pretty enough to be an idiot, but te must know that da now which means te just want to do an LP so te can look for inter-cranial pressure."
House Episode 4x07/4x10, "Ugly/ It's A Wonderful Lie"- "We need to intibate!" (He has detto that at least 3 times in different episodes)

"Just because we're in a bedroom alone together and I'm laying down doesn't mean we have to get deep."

Dr.Remy Hadley

House Episode 4x08, "You Don't Want to Know" - "You don't know because I don't know!" (Referring to whether she has the Huntington's Chorea her mother died from)

House Episode 4x12, "Don't Ever Change" - "No one can describe themselves in ten words, why would we want to hear anyone else do it?"

House Episode 4x14. "Living the Dream" - "I think I dated that nurse....wait, no, not her."

House Episode 4x08. "You Don't Want To Know " - "Yeah, I’ve been here for eight weeks ‘cause my subscription to Masochism Weekly ran out".