1.Grasp cat firmly in your arms. culla its head on your elbow, just as
if te were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty."
Drop pill into its mouth.

2. Retrieve cat from superiore, in alto of lamp and pill from under sofa.

3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left
hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth
with right forefinger.

4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse
to get new cat.)

5. Again proceed as in 1, except when te have cat firmly cradled in
bottle-feeding position, sit down on...

If te have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If te cannot manage
this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag is good!
Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the
evening. He won't dare push te off and will even call te "nice kitty."
If te can arrange to have cat Cibo on your breath, so much the better.
For sitting on laps o rubbing against pantaloni, pantalone legs, select colori which
contrast with your own.
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do
anything. Just sit and stare.
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand...