Today, I diagnosed metastatic cancer in a new patient who had just come to see me. I had to tell this young, beautiful, vibrant woman that did not not have long to live, perhaps a few months. There was nothing I could do for her. All I could do was to tell her that I cared for her. I could mostra her my professional “love.” My consultation segnala was faxed to the patient’s referring primary physician, and an ora later, the physician called me, in disbelief. Together on the phone, we could only share a sense of profound loss.
te might read this and think: Amore is useless in this case. Amore will not cure her cancer, nor will Amore protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And te would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. te can lista them, objectively and concretely. te can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts te physically just as much, if not more, than the person te hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains te mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should te choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate più knowledge and experience, I realize più how little control I have over life in general. Maybe te did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now te are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing te have under your control is how te feel and how te will react to external events. Unless te have a psychiatric illness, te can choose to “love” o te can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do te want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before te think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person o to that person?” o do te want to evaluate every giorno of your life whether te have contributed in some way some Amore to the world that day? I offer te my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every giorno of the year!”
te might read this and think: Amore is useless in this case. Amore will not cure her cancer, nor will Amore protect her from the pain and suffering that is imminent. And te would be absolutely correct. But what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy?
When I was younger, I used to consider that only actions and accomplishments are truly useful. te can lista them, objectively and concretely. te can measure productivity and compare the results to other people’s activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, it has been shown that hate hurts te physically just as much, if not more, than the person te hate. Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains te mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily trauma.
So, should te choose “love”, because it is the lesser of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get older and accumulate più knowledge and experience, I realize più how little control I have over life in general. Maybe te did not have a good childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to you, natural disasters occur, and now te are helpless.
Please realize that the only thing te have under your control is how te feel and how te will react to external events. Unless te have a psychiatric illness, te can choose to “love” o te can choose to “hate.” None of us lives forever. Do te want to wait until you’re lying on your deathbed before te think “maybe I should have been nicer to this person o to that person?” o do te want to evaluate every giorno of your life whether te have contributed in some way some Amore to the world that day? I offer te my humble opinion that “Love is THE answer – every giorno of the year!”