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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The famous spy of the Central Intelligence Of Equestria has returned!

The story begins at a Mexican airbase.

P: What do te see?
Con: Other then rain, and explosive weapons from communists?
P: Ach. più serious then I thought.
S: Hang on, there's a pony there that looks familiar.
P: Yeah, isn't that Snails?
Con: I see him too.
Snails: Get all these weapons to our base in Las Pegasus as soon as possible!
Mexican pony98: Yes sir.
Con: We have to get rid of those weapons *shoots nuclear missile*
Moneybit: What the fuck is he doing?
P: His job.
mexicans: *shoot at Con*
Con: *kills three mexicans*
S: Con, get out of there!
P: No! I think he's onto something!
Con: P's right. I am getting out of here, da stealing one of their jets.
P: As long as te escape, do it.
Con: *steals jet fighter*
Mexicans: NO!
Snails: Enviar otro combate después de él!
Mexican pilots: Estamos en ello!
Con: Con to C.I.E HQ, I got rid of the explosive weapons, and I'm now reporting back to base.
mexican pony32: *chokes Con* I was here the entire time!
Mexican pilot: *shoots Con's plane*
Con: *gets under other fighter*
Mexican pilot: He went under!
2nd pilot: Dropping bombs
Con: *hits eject button*
Mexican pony32: *flies into enemy plane*
Con: Welp, those three are dead!

The 12th Con Mane story is..

Tomorrow Always dies.

Starring

Doughnut Joe....................Con Mane
Snails................................Himself
Steve Jobs........................Himself
arcobaleno Dash...................Rain Bouvier
Fenix Lighter.....................Himself
Pinkie Pie..........................P
Spike.................................S
Sydney P. Johnson............T
Lyra Heartstrings...............Miss. Moneybit
Caramel............................Popeye
Japanese ponies...............Good guys
Germans...........................Good guys
South Koreans..................Good guys
Mexicans...........................Bad guys
North Koreans...................Bad guys

Cars provided da

Aston Maretin
Chevronet
Dodge
Flam
Flim
Hoofington
Meuzda
Toycolta

Somewhere in the sea of Giappone

Japanese sgt: How much longer until we get into Busan?
Japanese captain: Only 20 miles. The south koreans are going to need our supplies quickly.
Korean pilot1: juui ilbon-eo bae beonho 62557 , dangsin-eun bughan yeongto e chim-ib habnida.. (Attention Japanese barca No. 62557, te are trespassing in North Korean territory.)
Japanese pony8: They found us! Get defense weapons ready!
japanese ponies: *load guns*
Korean pilot1: gong-gyeog junbi. (Get ready to attack)
Korean pilot2: gikkeoi. (With pleasure) *shoot boat*
Korean pilot1: *launches missile*
Japanese captain: Abandon ship!!
Japanese ponies: *jump off boat*

Just when everyone got off the boat, it exploded.

Japanese captain: They're leaving. We must swim to shore. *swims*
japanese: *Follow*
Popeye: Waiting for them to come.
Steve Jobs: Come, o cum?
Popeye: te know which one I'm talking about.
Steve Jobs: Cum.
Japanese ponies: Please help us.
Popeye: Ok *shoots japanese ponies* It's done.
Steve Jobs: Nice work. Now when te get here, cum.
Popeye: Just, stop!

Meanwhile in the United States of Equestria

Dutch mare: bent uitstekend in Nederlands te spreken, Mr..? (You are excellent at speaking Dutch, Mr..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane
Dutch mare: Ik wou dat je niet zo snel gaan (I wish te didn't have to go so soon.)
Con: Ja goed je weet zappa het is helaas. (Yeah well te know how it is unfortunately.)

Con's phone soon starts to ring. Just when the two were about to make out

Con: Hello?
Moneybit: Con, where are you?
Con: On my way now. *hangs up.* Wordt vervolgd (To be continued)

Con went to the CIE HQ after he got the call from Moneybit.

P: Hi Con
Con: Hello P. How is it going?
P: Not too good. Check the newspaper
Con: 24 Japanese ponies killed while trying to deliver supplies to South Korea.
P: We have found out that Steve Jobs is the one responsible for causing this mass murder.
Con: He's not even a pony. He's human!
P: I might also be human soon, so get this mission over with!
Con: Alright, does S have any gadgets for me?
P: Ja, go see him before te leave.
Con: *goes to lab* S?
S: Right here Con.
Con: Oh hey, te were behind me the whole time.
S: Yeah, uh listen I'm about to grow into an adult dragon soon, and I have to retire.
Con: Well who's going to take your place?
??: I am

Then came a pony with a car for Con.

S: This is the pony replacing me, Sydney P. Johnson
Con: If you're S, does that make him T?
T: Exactly. The car I have arranged for te is a Meuzda Amuem. I added some gadgets to protect it from car thefts, while S worked on the weaponry.
S: And here is a cell phone, also capable of being a remote controller for your car.
Con: Cool.
T: Another thing you'll need *gives Con gun* We ha rubato, stola this from the North Koreans, so te don't have to worry about ammunition. Steal it from them.
Con: Anything else?
T: A giacca for te to wear. In case te fall off any ledge te can use an inflation device. Take the lower part of the zipper, and insert it-
S: Oh pull the tag! *pulls tag*
T: *gasps* te said- *falls on floor* AAAAGH!! S!!!
Con: He seems well suited for the job.
S: Yeah
Con: You're not retiring anytime soon. Are you?
S: te listen well Con, I've always tried to teach te two things. First, never let them see te bleed.
Con: And the second?
S: Always have an escape plan *disapeers*
T: Where did the dragon go?
Con: No clue, but I can tell te he's wearing a cloak.

Con had to go to Las Pegasus where Steve Jobs was hosting a party for his "excellent" news

car: Srow down!
Con: I wish S told me about the car talking!
usher: *opens door*
Con: *hands over keys* Don't let her boss te around.

Con walked into the building. When he got there, he was greeted with loud music, and flashing lights.

Con: Now let's see what they have here.
Carrot Top: Con?
Con: Oh, hey. I haven't seen te in a while
Carrot Top: *slaps Con*
Con: I see now. Other then being gone for too long what have I done to you?
Carrot Top: te don't remember?
Con: That's why I asked.
Carrot Top: How about the words, I'll be right back?
Con: I was captured da immigrants that wanted me dead. I didn't mean to break your heart.
Carrot Top: Well guess what, te did!
Steve Jobs: I see te met my wife, Mr..?
Con: Mane. Con Mane.
Steve Jobs: *gives free Ipad* I don't just make the best hand held devices, I'm now in the news business.
Con: I'll bet that goes really well.
Steve Jobs: It does, thanks for asking.
Con: That wasn't a question. *puts Ipad in jacket*
Steve Jobs: Well I have to go now *leaves*
Con: te married that man?!
Carrot Top: Hey, he's better then you.
Con: Why couldn't it have been Lyra Heartstrings that married this man? *walks away*

Steve Jobs had plans to attack both the japanese, and the koreans to force them into a war. He would make it look like they attacked each other, but he needed blueprints to a machine he was creating to do that. Con went to steal them.

Mexicans: *guarding blueprint room*
Con: Hola *shoots russians*
Steve Jobs: What was that?
mexican pony12: Gun shots! Sounded like it came from the 2nd floor!
Steve Jobs: Then what are te waiting for? Get reinforcements!
mexican pony12: Yes sir!
Con: *steals blueprints*
mexicans: There he is!
??: *K.O's mexicans*
Con: Was that? (It couldn't have been. Time to kill the power) *turns power off*
Steve Jobs: What is going on?!
guests: *run for exit*
Steve Jobs: NO! Stay! This party is being filmed live!

The power comes back on, but there was some più bad news for Steve.

Film crew: We're no longer on air!
Steve Jobs: Why?
Film crew: We don't know
Steve Jobs: You're fired! Get these ponies out of my sight!!
Carrot Top: Steve, it's ok. Some people have to deal with the loss of power.
Steve Jobs: Not me! I am the greatest man ever. I have made so much great news, and devices!
??: *leaves through glass ceiling*
Steve Jobs: Great! Now the ceiling is destroyed!!
??: People that live in glass ceilings should go buck theirselves!

The successivo day, Con went to his apartment in L.P. to inform P that he had the blueprints to Steve Job's weapon.

Con: *parks car*
mexicans: He has a red Meuzda parked on 5th street.
Popeye: I'll deal with Con, te get the blueprints from his car.
Con: P, it's 0007. I have the blueprints. I'll send them to te as soon as possible.
Popeye: *shoots phone* Time's up.
Con: I didn't even put in a quarter.
Popeye: Well, that's not neccesary. *sits on bed*

Meanwhile two Dodge trucks, and a tow truck arrived da Con's car

Mexican pony78: We'll wait here, in case he comes.
Steve Jobs: I hope he doesn't cum.
Popeye: Why do te want to prevent Mr. Jobs from doing what he does best?
Con: What's that, kill many innocent ponies?
mexicans: *shoot door handles*
mexican pony84: The bullets just richocheted off!!
mexican pony78: Get the sledgehammers. We'll break the windows.
Popeye: He makes really good hand held devices though.
Con: He is a murderer, and te know it.
mexicans: *hit glass*
mexican pony84: Great.... Not a single window broke.
mexican pony78: Let's try picking the lock. *grabs keys*
mexican pony84: Why didn't I think of that?

Of course that didn't work, because the keys got electrocuted, and shocked the pony holding them.

Popeye: Well if te really hate Steve Jobs, then let's get this over with
mexican pony84: Popeye! We can't get into his car! HELP!!
Popeye: Oh jeez. I need to borrow your phone
Con: Alright, who do te want me to call?
Popeye: No, I'm calling them. How do I do it?
Con: Hit that button above the three, and get your number.
Popeye: *hits button, and gets electrocuted*
Con: *grabs gun*
Popeye: Wait! I'm just a professional doing a job!
Con: Me too *kills Popeye*

The spy then ran toward his car. No one saw him, and he used the remote control setting to get his car toward him.

mexicans: What the hay?
Con: *gets in car, and drives*
Steve jobs: After him! *drives truck*
mexican pony84: *shoots windows* Oh now they break!
car: Incoming car, rook out!
Con: *turns right*
Mexican pony78: *follows Steve*
Con: *goes into parking garage*
Mexican pony84: He went into that building! After him!
Steve Jobs: I'm the boss here! *follows*
Mexican pony78: *also following* The suspect has gone into the secondo floor!
Mexican pony89: *flying helicopter*
Con: *shoots missiles*
Mexican pony89: I'm hit *flies into garage*
Mexican pony78: Push him into the wreckage!
Con: *drives on 3rd floor*
Steve Jobs: He's close! I got this
Con : *drops tacks*
Steve jobs: I don't got this *crashes into car*
Mexican pony78: I got this *follows Con*
Con: *jumps out of car*

They didn't notice Con jump out of the car, and he used had the remote control to sposta his car around

Con: *goes to superiore, in alto floor*
Mexican pony78: *follows*
Con: *drives through wall*

The car then flew to the other side of the road, and crashed into a store below

Mexican pony78: *falls off edge*
car: Congraturations for a sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza journey
Con: sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza my ass. *walks away*

He still had the blueprints, and went to give them to P

After delivering the blueprints, Con was sent to a german military base in South Korea.

Fenix: Con, great to see te again
Con: Fenix, te can fucking walk! How's it been?
Fenix: Alright, but it was painful to get the leg on.
Con: At least te have one.
Fenix: So what do te want?
Con: I need to find out about a sunken ship in the sea of japan. Steve Jobs attacked it, but made it look like the North Koreans did the destruction
Fenix: I know how to get te there

6 minuti later, they were flying 4,500 feet above the water.

Fenix: Now what te want to do is cut the rope right when te hit the water.
Con: I'll keep that in mind. *jumps*
german pony63: Sir, look at this!
Fenix: What is it?
German pony63: One of our spies is heading toward the wreckage as well.
Fenix: Could it be?
German pony63: I don't think it's her sir.

Con landed in the water, and cut the rope like Fenix told him too. Now he just had to inspect the wreck.

Con: *swims to bottom*
??: *grabs Con*
Con: Rain Bouvier?!
Rain: Yes.
Con: What are te doing?
Rain: Helping you. Follow me
Con: What are te mostrare me?
Rain: Something that hit the ship. It was reported that korean jets bombed it, but it was hit da a submarine missile.
Con: Well that explains a lot. *takes picture* Let's go.

The two ponies swam back to the top, only to be spotted da Korean helicopters. And....

Steve Jobs: Nice job te guys. Now bring them to HQ
koreans: *jump in water*
Rain: Hold on *grabs Con*
Con: What are we doing?
Rain: *flies* This
Steve Jobs: After her!!
Rain: They're catching up!
Con: Let's steal that bi-plane
Steve Jobs: *grabs gun* Stay on them
Rain: *lands in airplane*
Con: Allow me *flies*
korean pilot: *shoots at plane*
Con: *dodges bullets*
Steve Jobs: This guy is too good.
Con: Take this *gives chain* Throw it at the rotor on the chopper!
Rain: I'm on it *throws chain*
Steve Jobs: What is she doing?
Korean pilot: She got chains to destroy our rotors, we're losing altitude!

The helicopter then fell into the river, while Con, and Rain flew away

Con: te were good with the chain.
Rain: Thanks. That's from growing up with others that didn't like me. te did good flying the plane.
Con: That, is from not growing up at all.
Rain: *laughs*
Con: Thanks. Now we just stop the successivo attack, which will be at the same spot as the precedente one.
Rain: Let's do it.

Con, and Rain got a sailboat, and went to the sight of the successivo attack. The sun was setting while they were sailing.

Rain: I never got to have a barca like this. It's cool.
Con: I agree. *sees boat* That's the one.
Rain: Is that a stealth boat?
Con: Yeah it is. *goes in*
Rain: So awesome!! *follows*
korean major: I heard someone say this barca was awesome. Kill her.
Rain: *kicks major into water*
korean major: NO!! *swims* You're lucky!!
Con: Let's go.

Our Heroes went into a room that showed a radar, and what positions the koreans were attacking.

Steve Jobs: Keep this up, we can't let South Korea get any supplies.
Snails: When te see the boat, launch those missiles.
Con: Oh great, this guy.
Rain: Someone te know?
Con: I was told he makes the weapons for Steve Jobs.
Rain: Then, let's sabotage them.
Korean pony55: *walks in* Intruders!!
Steve Jobs: It's Con, and the agent for MI3!
Con: *shoots koreans*
Rain: *kills power*
Steve Jobs: Now I get it. I Lost power at last night's party because of te two. I should have known the Amore couple would be here.
Rain: We are not in love!
Steve Jobs: Say that all te want, but we all know the truth. Tie them up

Con, and Rain were eventually tied up on the floor, and couldn't get up. What will they do now?

Not far away from the stealth boat, a japanese freighter was sending supplies to South Korea. Things were going to be the same as it was in the precedente attack, o were they?

Steve Jobs: I see the japanese boat.
Snails: Get the North Koreans notified about this.
Steve Jobs: The Japanese will try to attack, but we need that missile to hit Hong Kong, is it ready?
Snails: Press the magic button, and Hong Kong dissapears.
Steve Jobs: You've outlived your contract. *kills Snails*
Con: How dare you?!
Steve Jobs: It was snails, no one likes him, not even the bronies!
korean pony54: We have two airplanes heading toward them.
Steve Jobs: Excellent. Get the newspapers ready.
Con: *shoots korean pony54*
Steve Jobs: Stop him!
koreans: *restrain Rain Bouvier*
Rain: Let me go!
Steve Jobs: Tie her to the crane, and let her drown.
Con: *kills koreans*
Steve Jobs: What the fuck do te think I pay te for?! KILL HIM!!
Con: *kills Steve Jobs*
koreans: Our leader is dead *commit suicide*

Meanwhile in Canterlot

S: Con killed Steve Jobs
P: Yes! Now his acts of terrorism are done for!
Japanese: Hold on, what's that?
north koreans: It's a stealth boat. A missile is being launched from it!
Con: *hits abbort code*
Japanese: The missile is falling!
north koreans: Where was it heading?
Japaese: No idea. Why were we fighting again?
North koreans: No clue *leave*
Con: *returns to Canterlot*
rain: *goes to ponyville*

The End

In memory of Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond.

1908-1964
posted by TotalDramaFan60
In a land, far, far, away, a long time ago...
There lived six ponies who needed to fight for their territory.
Doctor Twilight Sparkle and her Friends have now taken on their first invader:Nightmare Moon.
Doctor Twilight Sparkle:*paces around* ...how are we going to defeat her?
Spike: Aye, I dunno.
Medic Fluttershy: *knocks*
Doctor Twilight Sparkle: Come in...
Medic Fluttershy: *comes in* ...I have some bad news.
Doctor Twilight Sparkle: If it's about...her...
Medic Fluttershy: No...it's not. *holds out arcobaleno Dash*
Doctor Twilight Sparkle: *gasps*
Medic Fluttershy: A very mysterious pony hurt her...It...
continue reading...
AT RESTURANT:
Trixie: I'm glad your finally over AppleJack.. Who needed her anyway. She didn't get you.. te need someone who 'dose' get you.. Someone who knew te your whole life.
Saten: te mean Derpy?
Trixie: Well.. Sure.. Derpy.. But I meant some 'else' who knew te your entire life, and always had a thing for you.. Who knows.. She might be sitting in front of you.
Saten: (obviously) I honestly have no idea what your going on about Trixie. But your voice is soothing, and strangely I feel better.. (happily) Thanks, te always such a great friend.
Trixie: (sighs) Sure... Friend
Saten: (gets up) Anyway. I gotta go.. Sorry again for trying to kill you, last time we were here.
Trixie: (shrugs) te were drunk.
Saten: If it makes te feel better. I'm really trying to cut back on alcohol.
Trixie: I sincerely doubt that.. But if te say.
Saten: (leaves)
Trixie: (sighs) Guess Trixie's paying again..
Cheyenne Wyoming
April 2, 1957
1:03 PM

The yards were getting very busy. Not only were trains from the Union Pacific coming in, but also trains from the Southern Pacific. Nikki West was one of the SP engineers bringing in trains to the yards in Cheyenne. She was having a conversation with Mirage, and Snowflake in the yard tower.

Snowflake: So te know how Orion keeps trying to get fired?
Nikki: Yeah.
Mirage: You'll Amore this.
Snowflake: Yesterday, he dressed up as Douglas MacArthur when he was in Giappone during WW2, and wanted to know when the war ended.
Nikki: *Laughing* What did Pete say?
Snowflake:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 titolo Screen
Title Screen
Con Mane is back, but he's not the only one to make a return.

This story begins in Bangkok, China at a restaurant/bath house. Con was dressed in a white suit with a black bowtie. He was meeting up with three generals from the Chinese Army in the restaurant which was a floor above the bath house. The Generals were also dressed up in white suits, but their bowties were grey.

Con: *Sits down*
Chinese General 1: Hello 0007.
Con: Nín hǎo.
Chinese General 1: I didn't know te spoke my language Mr. Mane.
Con: Yes, well when it comes to ripping off Indiana Jones movies, I guess one has to be good...
continue reading...
video
my
little
pony
friendship
is
magic
Satan Twist: Hey, my cousin is coming today. She says she needs to talk to us
Master Sword: Why me
Satan Twist: Now that te mention it, I don't actually know.... Anyway, she is a nice mare with a beautiful life ahead of her... So, if te make fun of her, I'll fucking kill you
Master Sword: Come on, I wouldn't do that. One, because I am not a jerk, and two, because I want to live (Knock at the door)
Satan Twist: That must be her
Master Sword: (Hmm, I wonder why people would treat her that way. But, I am sure she is a wonderful pon-oooohhhhhhhh) (Derpy walks into room)
Satan Twist: This is my cousin,...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 One of the new supply trucks for the Union Pacific
One of the new supply trucks for the Union Pacific
Pete was telling Mirage about his special job in his office.

Pete: We're suppose to get a new shipment of supply trucks. One of them just arrived, and I want te to drive it around, and check it out. Make sure it works up to our standards.
Mirage: Yes sir.
Pete: *Gives Mirage the keys to the truck* And be careful. te can drive the truck for as long as te want, but just bring it back here with no damage.
Mirage: Yes sir.

Meanwhile in Ogden Utah, Anthony, and Roger were having hard times working on their railway. Even though they were getting extra help from Duke, there was still to much work....
continue reading...
Tonight was the night that Bob was going to take Emily out for dinner, but she didn't know that Bob was going to take her out.

Emily: *Sitting on divano Leggere newspaper*
Bob: *Enters apartment room* Hi Emily.
Emily: Hi Bob. How was your day?
Bob: Good. I got us reservations to a restaurant that we're going to tonight.
Emily: What? Why didn't te tell me?
Bob: I did tell you. Last night, I asked te if we were going out to dinner, and te were just like, "Ugh!" So I figured te wanted to go.
Emily: What gave te that idea?
Bob: I thought te were fed up with making dinner, so I decided it would...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor