One albero collina Club
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posted by BrookeYourself
Brooke - "We have a hot tub."
Lucas - Brooke, I..."
Brooke - "We have a naked me in the hot tub."
[BROOKE looks back over at HALEY as NATHAN nods at her]



BROOKE: Did te see that?
PEYTON: What?
BROOKE: Nathan just gave her the nod.
PEYTON: What nod?
BROOKE: The "lets hook up after the game" nod. [Pause] Wanna know what I think? I think Nathan likes tutor girl. But I think tutor girl likes Lucas. And I know I like Lucas. And I don't know who the hell te like anymore. This is all turning into one big love… rectangle plus one, whatever that is.


Brooke - "Jake te can tell me. I won't even remember it in the morning."
Jake - "You really wanna know?" leaning closer to Brooke's ear. "The truth would kill your buzz."


Brooke:What's your idea of your perfect date?
Haley:You getting hit da a bus.
Brooke:Nathan's lucky with that sense of humor.


Lucas: Look Haley, can I tell te something?
Brooke(literally bouncing into the room): ciao boyfriend. ciao Tutor girl.
Haley: ciao Tigger

Brooke (talking about Lucas): He's so serious, I thought I'd lighten him up a little
Karen: And te couldn't take him to a comdey?
Brooke: I guess you're not a big fan of tatoos then.
Karen: No, not on my son.
Brooke: I think I could light my self on fuoco and my mother wouldn't notice, so sometimes it's hard for me to remember some moms would.

Brooke:(while watching Lucas' letter burn)I hope it wasn't money.

BROOKE: (v.o) Someone once said; it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me… I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. Even if I don't write it down

Brooke: why do bad guys lie to get into your bed, and good guys lie to get into youre heart

Brooke: Yes. "Vote Brooke for president." It gets straight to the point and short enough for even the stoners to remember.

Brooke: I haven't stuffed since I started puberty.

BROOKE: How many moments in your life can te point to and say, "That's when it all changed"? te just had one. Don't worry, baby. The popularity thing's not so bad.

PEYTON: The Brooke Davis Leopard Bra? Dude, that thing's like a welcome mat. Anyway, I heard te were naked in his car.
BROOKE: No, I was partially naked. At one point I had mittens on 'cause it was cold.

HALEY: te know, I’m just not clear on this. So the doccia at your house is broken and te had to have Felix come all the way over here and use mine?
ANNA: Um…
BROOKE: Uh-huh.
PEYTON: Brooke!
HALEY: Wait a second. Y-you don’t have a letto do you? Did you… tell me te didn’t have sex in my bed. Brooke.
BROOKE: I’m already washing your sheets.
HALEY: Oh my god! Ugh! Brooke! Ugh!
BROOKE: They already yelled at me, what is the big deal?!
HALEY: The big deal is that first of all; te did not thank me for helping te with the CDs. secondo of all; te had sex IN MY BED! And third; te ate all the brownies.
ANNA: Actually, I had a couple.
HALEY: That’s not the point.
BROOKE: Haley’s right. The point is that I’ve been deceptive. It’s not so much that I lied to anyone’s face. It’s più about what I didn’t say.
HALEY: Ugh! OK. There is a big difference between a lie and a little white lie.
BROOKE: Really!
HALEY: Yeah!
PEYTON: OK, wait, what white lie?
HALEY: Nothing!
BROOKE: Haley lied to Nathan!!
HALEY: Not exactly!
BROOKE: Yes te did!
PEYTON: About what?!
HALEY: Nothing.
PEYTON: Haley.
HALEY: te know what, if we’re talking about bad behaviour, te might wanna sit this one out!
PEYTON: What is that supposed to mean?
HALEY: That’s supposed to mean that Peyton’s the one te should be looking at, not me.
BROOKE: Why?! She not the one recitazione like a perfect little Stepford wife!
HALEY: Uh!
ANNA: Why are te picking on Haley? She’s throwing us a slumber party.
BROOKE: Actually, she was throwing us a slumber party, te just butted in!
PEYTON: Brooke! LEAVE HER ALONE!
BROOKE: WHY!?
HALEY: What’re te gonna do? Snort her?
HALEY: Listen, I didn’t throw this slumber party for you, te threw it for yourself and te know it!
BROOKE: Well, at least I didn’t lie to my husband about hanging out with Chris!
PEYTON: WOAH!!
HALEY: Brooke! Well… Peyton did cocaine with that Rick guy!
PEYTON: Haley!
BROOKE: WHAT!!
PEYTON: te had sex in her bed!
ANNA: OK –
BROOKE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? CRACK ****!!
PEYTON: ****!
BROOKE: LIAR!!
(Haley rips Brooke’s nose strip off)
ANNA: Man… albero Hill’s got some drama


Brooke (to Anna): Hi… I’m Brooke. We haven’t officially been introduced, but your dating my ex-boyfriend and I’m sleeping with your brother so it looks like we have a lot in common.

BROOKE: We should totally hang out more. What is your name?
HALEY: Haley…
BROOKE: Yeah. I don’t like that name. Lets call you… Brooke!
BROOKE: Hi friend!
PEYTON: Thanks.
HALEY: Sure. I’ll see te guys later.
PEYTON: Where’s your ride?
HALEY: Oh. I’m going to take the last fan bus back.
PEYTON: It just left.
BROOKE: That’s perfect. Brookie can come with us!
HALEY: Yeah, she named me Brooke.
BROOKE: Peyton, can she come? Please? Peyton, please!
PEYTON: Just don’t touch the stereo. o we’ll have a problem.
BROOKE: Road trip.
BROOKE: We’re going on a road trip. We’re going on a road trip.
[THE CAR driving along a road. BROOKE’S hitting PEYTON with her pompoms as PEYTON tries to drive]
PEYTON: Brooke! Come on…
[BROOKE throws the pompoms out the window, giggling and clapping. Then she leans over the front seat, looking at HALEY and then PEYTON]
BROOKE: Don’t te two like the same guys? o guy, o something?
HALEY: I’m just tutoring him, that’s all.
PEYTON: So you’re not into him? Because he seems to be into you.
[BROOKE’S looking out the back window]
BROOKE: He gave her the nod!
PEYTON: Just be careful.
HALEY: Well, what about te and Lucas?
PEYTON: What about us?
HALEY: Oh, come on. Tortured artist meets tortured athlete? Talk about your obvious attraction.
[The car beeps to signal lack of gas]
BROOKE: I hear birds.
PEYTON: Unbelievable! Brooke, did te not think to put gas in the car?
[BROOKE looks at HALEY]
BROOKE: Answer the question, Brooke.
[The car stops]
BROOKE: Why are we stopping?
[BROOKE’S CAR. PEYTON gets out of the phone with her cell]
PEYTON: There’s still no signal. Who lives like this?
HALEY: Pop the trunk, will you?
BROOKE: Peyton, don’t listen to it. It might be a trick.
[PEYTON pops the tronco and HALEY looks inside]
HALEY: Yeah, it’s empty. I saw a gas station a few miles back. If I’m not back in an hour, tell my mom I loved her?
BROOKE: Don’t te mean Nathan?
PEYTON: I’ll go with you.
BROOKE: What about me?
[BROOKE’S back in the car and PEYTON locks the doors. As BROOKE and HALEY walk away, BROOKE’S yelling]
BROOKE: I could suffocate in here. Guys!
HALEY: te did crack a window, right?
BROOKE: Guys! Come on! I’m scared! Please! Come on, te guys. Don’t go! Someone will come!
[PEYTON and HALEY walk off]


Shot of a bag in a glass display case. Brooke pops up from the other end looking sulky.)
BROOKE: But I want it so bad!
(Haley pulls her away and links arms with her.)
HALEY: No. It’s not in the budget. Besides, if te get the purse, then te can’t afford the outfit for the opening.
BROOKE: Screw the opening. I’ll stay at home with the purse.
(Haley looks at Brooke worriedly, she seem to be dozing off.)
HALEY: What’s going on, te alright?
BROOKE: Yeah, I just feel a little light headed.
HALEY: Why?
BROOKE: I…sold some stuff.
HALEY: What stuff?
BROOKE: Some…blood.
HALEY: Blood!? te sold blood? Brooke, te really think that’s a good idea? te actually don’t look very well. Kinda… pasty.
BROOKE: I’m discount shopping! I’m gonna have to get used to looking like crap. And besides, I needed some extra money for the dress.
HALEY: Which is only thirty-six bucks.
BROOKE: Shoes.
HALEY: Eighteen dollars.
BROOKE: Eyeliner to go with the shoes.
HALEY: Seven fifty, which is what? Sixty-one fifty with tax. I mean please, te have plenty left over for-
BROOKE: Alcohol! We’ll stop da the liquor store on the way home.
HALEY: I really don’t think te should be drinking after te just gave blood.
BROOKE: No! The woman told me to re-hydrate myself and besides, if I’m gonna be seen in these shoes, I’m gonna need a drink o two.


Brooke: I thought I knew you. But I guess it’s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. te think te know me, but te don’t, and that means te don’t know what I can do. te see me as someone who is popolare and has all the answers. That’s not true. I may not always know what I am doing, but I’ll try to make things better. And when I make a mistake, because face it we all do, I promise I’ll ask for your help. I can’t do this alone, but if you’ll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. I promise if te believe me I’ll find the courage to reach for your every dream. JFK detto that courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy, a man does what he must in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures and that is the basis of all morality.

Brooke: Eww. te two realize you’re related, right?
Nathan: Hi Brooke.
Brooke: Double eww if Tutor Wife is here.
Lucas: She’s not. What’s up?
Brooke: Umm, my car is now out of commission, thanks to my jealous spiteful stain of a neighbour, and I was sort of thinking that te might want to walk to school together. Unless of course your waiting for your boy toy here.

(Haley and Nathan walk up)
Brooke: Oh, look. It’s our very own Britney Spears and… whoever she married this week. I have a domanda for te guys. What do te think, rosa booties, o blue?
Haley: Booties? Brooke, I’m not pregnant.
Brooke: No. The only way this isn’t totally screwed up is if your knocked up, but don’t worry. Your secret’s sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza with me.
Tim: What’s this lame-ass joke about te guys getting married?
Peyton: He’s in shock now that you’re officially off the market.
Brooke: It’s true Dim. Haley’s preggers.
Haley: Brooke!
Tim: Right. And Lucas moved away. te guys gotta do better if your gonna get one over on the Tim.
Haley: The Tim. (laughs)

Brooke: Okay, for future reference, driving a convertibile, convertible filled with inflated rubbers, not smart!
Lucas: Helium condoms?
Brooke: If she’s pregnant, it’s a reminder, if she’s not, it’s a reminder. It’s cute. ciao Mouth, how’s your bod?
Mouth: Skinny.
Lucas: te know Skillz and Fergie, right?
Brooke: Course I do. ciao guys. Do te know Peyton?
Skillz: What’s up, skinny girl?
Peyton: Hi.
Brooke: Peyton’s an 8.1 on LustFactor.
(Brooke takes a picture of Peyton’s chest)
Brooke: Soon to be a 9. te know, I was thinking, we can take the cameras, put them out on the tables, people can take pictures for the wedding wall.
Lucas: Nice.
Brooke: Care to know what else I have planned, I know te do! I have spray string, for when tutor girl and boy arrive, and Mouth, come here, sit.
(Brooke sits Mouth down in a spinning chair)
Peyton: What is that?
Brooke: This, missy blonde girl, is the Brooke Davis version of Spin the Bottle. Only this, is Spin the Body. (Brooke spins Mouth and it lands on Fergie) Okay, te two have to make out! And last but not least, we have 5 minuti in the elevator.
Lucas: I thought it was 5 minuti in the closet.
Brooke: Yeah, if your in junior high. But the great part about this is, te know how everybody has their elevator list?
Skillz: What?
Brooke: Your elevator list! Come on, the lista of people your allowed to have sex with if your ever stuck in an elevator with them!
Skillz: Halle Berry.
Fergie: Beyonce.
Peyton: Jack Black.
Mouth: Brooke Davis.
Brooke: Well, everybody makes a lista and if two people have each others names… five minuti in the elevator!
Lucas: Sounds like fun. Nice work Brooke.
Brooke: Thank you. Now all we need is a Nathan and a Haley.
(Brooke spins Mouth)
Mouth: (Pointing at Skillz) No. (Pointing at Brooke) Yes. (Pointing at Lucas) No. (Pointing at Peyton) Yes.


Brooke (to Felix after finding out he has a sister): te mean after they had te they rolled the dice and kept breeding? That’s risky.

Brooke: And to superiore, in alto it all off, if my parents go broke, I might actually have to study to get into college.
Peyton: My God, the horror!
Brooke: I know. How the mighty have fallen.

Brooke: Okay. Theresa, terrible posture. Pinch that penny. Bevin, te need…a breath mint. Peyton. Nice form. And excellent betrayal of a best friend. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. te guys! This weekend is the Classic. It’s our biggest cheer competition. Aren’t te sick of Clair Young and orso Creek Warriors taking home the trophy every year? Because I am. We need to get it together here and I’m not just talking about our routine. I’m talking hair, nails…underarms, Theresa.
BEVIN: Brooke, cheerleading is supposed to be fun.
BROOKE: Yeah? Well winning’s funner. And if te don’t like it te can go cheer for the wrestling team. Take five.
PEYTON: Okay, te know what? te hate me, I get it. Fine. Just don’t take it out on our squad.
BROOKE: Everything is not about you, Peyton. Did te ever think that maybe I’m being a psycho-hose-beast because I want us to do well this weekend? Those judges are not going to be as forgiving as I am.
PEYTON: Funny, I didn’t know te were forgiving at all.

Brooke: Lucas Scott betrayal train, all aboard.

(Brooke takes a picture of Peyton in the doccia for LustFactor)
Brooke: We are going to get te a 10 yet!
(Haley walks in)
Haley: Hey, is Peyton around? She detto she was gonna loan me something to wear.
Brooke: Yeah, she’ll be out in a second.
Haley: Oh my God! Where did te get that picture of her?
Brooke: I got it off modern technology. It’s this free little project I’m doing to help expand her horizons.
Haley: da posting nude pictures of her on the Internet?
Brooke: Don’t worry, she’s gonna thank me once she sees the guys I’ve gotten lined up.
Haley (sees the picture of one): Oh, he’s cute. (sees another picture) Oh, really cute! (sees another picture) Oh, that’s what I’m talking about!
Brooke: Down girl. te can look at the menu all te want but from now on te eat at home.

Brooke: Guess who's in the lobby, I'll tell you. Claire Young and her little ho posse. We are going down there.
Peyton: Okay. And if an angry dance-off breaks out I got your back.
Brooke: Great. Just don't stick another coltello in it.

BROOKE: I cannot believe the nerve of that little third rate Britney trying to pretend like she doesn’t recognize me.
PEYTON: Are te still obsessing over this? te made out with her boyfriend at camp.
BROOKE: I didn’t know they were dating, unlike some people. And besides he was a yell leader, he was gay anyway.

Brooke: It’s important to have somebody who can make te laugh, somebody te can trust, somebody that, te know, turns te on, and it’s really, really important that these 3 people don’t know each other!
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