Help . I really need help.

So I have always believed in peter pan I useally have dreams with him in it however they're different and weird bc dreams can come in many forms. However I'm am 19 years old and still believe in never land . I believe in the Come d’incanto forest. Wonderland and the wizard of oz. They're all real. But I Amore Peter I have always been a Lost boy and I have always reached out to him . I remember keeping a. Note book when I was 11 calling for him . He would never come . However when I started getting older I had these as some would say sleep paralysis . I was always laying on my back when I fell asleep with my hands to the side and my fan away . I was always between awake and asleep and it felt like I couldn't sposta and the wind was blowing it didn't feel like the fan but my window was closed. And I useally have the covers torn of me but they're arnt really bc I'll get so scared and open my eyes and drift back to sleep and it will happen again and again but I never fully wake up . Last night something different happened the covers felt like we're ripped of me. And I opened my eyes . I closed them and it felt like something went under the covers meanwhile I was half asleep and I felt hands . Real hands . Felt I was asleep but it felt so real and no one was home and we held hands but then I got scared again and it went away. I don't know what this is if it's peter o something . I'm very curious but also a little scared and I don't know what to do o think .