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'Pretty Little Liars' recap: 'We've All Got Baggage'
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EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: The cast of 'PLL' summarize 6 seasons in 30 seconds
Well, Liars, clearly we’re approaching the end of another season because everything is starting to go berserk: Spencer’s dad is back in town (never a good sign), love triangles are continuing to triangulate, there’s a creepy new character who will surely invade my nightmares, and highly unrealistic disasters are exploding all over the place (literally).
The beginning of this episode is all about weddings: 1) None of the Liars understand Ali and Dr. Rollins’ Aria-officiated elopement. 2) Evil Emoji left some unsettling dual-purpose threats in the form of messages on wedding placecards, which not only serve to relay his or her messages — “Give me the killer…” “By election night…” “Or you lose.” — but also prove that Evil Emoji was
Ella and Byron’s second wedding and borrowed Aria’s camera for long enough to set up and execute this whole thing. Oh, and 3) Hanna isn’t really feeling her upcoming bridal shower because having “two monsters” after them really puts a damper on things. I’d say that’s fair.
Spencer is still dealing with the fallout from the Yvonne Phillips abortion leak, which Caleb took the blame for because he’s a living angel. But she gets a lecture from a face we haven’t seen in so long I almost couldn’t place him: her own father, back from… Where was he supposed to be? London with his favorite daughter, Melissa? Off bonding with his son, Jason? (Is Jason ever coming back, by the way? Or is he already back? Is he the person who really killed Charlotte? Whoa, getting ahead of myself.) Anyway, Mr. Hastings tells Spencer she needs to release a statement distancing herself from Caleb. Spencer’s like, “Yeah, right. By the way, tell Melissa to text me,” and Mr. Hastings says that she went back to London. The “office” needed her. A likely story.
Aria is over at Ezra’s, and they’re kind of adorably awkward in their interactions with each other (let me forget the pedophilic origins of their relationship for a sec). Finally, he tells her he pitched the idea to editor Jillian that he and Aria would co-write the book — basically Aria would write the woman’s voice, and Ezra would write the man’s voice. Jillian loved the idea, Aria loves the idea, and Ezra conveniently says he wants Aria to do it because he wants to do justice to Nicole’s voice, and he’s too close to the truth of the situation. Aria will give the book some creative distance.
solution to what could have been a very horrible problem. In fact, it’s so easy and such a win-win all around, it didn’t even occur to me as a plausible solution before. Is this too good to be true? Or is the “bad” part going to be that obviously Ezra and Aria will fall back in love and then maybe Liam will…sabotage them? Maybe just be sad? Liam is happy for Aria, but when Aria tries to tell him that Ezra didn’t know he was going to pitch the idea of co-writing until he said it, Liam calls B.S.: “It wasn’t an accident — he didn’t fall off a bicycle. He made a decision.”
He’s right, of course, but here’s my problem with Liam: We have reasons to like Spencer and Caleb together. We have reasons to like Hanna and Jordan. We even have reasons to like Ali and Rollins, I think. But I really could not care less about Liam. I’m not really seeing a spark…so as much as I’d love the show’s message to be, “High school relationships won’t last, especially if you were dating your teacher,” Aria just seems like she’s better with Ezra. What happened to that martial arts instructor guy? They had chemistry! Bring him back!
Speaking of chemistry, Toby goes over to Spencer’s to confront her about Yvonne, and of course, Caleb happens to walk into the room. Spencer tells Toby to let Caleb explain, but Good Guy Caleb doesn’t want to explain, even if it means making his best bro hate his guts. Caleb says he’s “sorry Yvonne is hurting,” but “I did what I had to do,” and Toby responds by… clocking Caleb in the face. OUCH. Later, as Spencer ices Caleb’s face, we are treated to some wonderful lines:
Spencer, with ice pack: Do you want me to do this or not?
Also, when Spencer suggests going to the police about Sara Harvey:
Caleb: What do you want to do? Tell the police to slap cuffs on a girl with no hands?
Ahhh, so good. But the main point is that Caleb says he’ll always protect Spencer and that he’d rather have Toby hate him now than blame him later. What a martyr.
It’s been a weird couple days (or however long a period has passed on this show) for Caleb — earlier, Ashley Marin saw him unsuccessfully try to get a room at the Radley, and after finding out that the hotel was his last resort, invited him to stay in the guest room. (He didn’t take her up on it, yet.) Hanna is understandably furious, despite the fact that she’s living in Lucas’ swanky “smart-loft,” where everything — heat, air conditioning, lights, the fireplace — is controlled by an iPad (this is foreshadowing, by the way). Even though I know this isn’t true, I’d also like to think of the “smart-loft” line as a
viewers will know as N.A.T. Club founding member, Ian. Anyway, Hanna yells at Ashley for liking Caleb more than she likes Jordan, and Ashley protests that she just knows Caleb better. Hanna says she hasn’t tried to get to know Jordan at all.
Spencer and Mona have a confrontation at the Brew, now that all the Yvonne stuff has gone down. Mona is outraged — she’s gotten fired from the Phillips campaign, and it’s all Spencer and Caleb’s fault for leaking the information, she thinks. “Accusing people of something you’ve done?” Spencer says. “That does have kind of a ‘Vintage Mona’ quality to it.” Are you sure you want to get on Mona’s bad side, though, Spencer? This is a girl who literally came back from the dead (I don’t care what the
showrunners say. They showed us Mona’s dead body in a trunk; then they made her alive again, and I’ll never get over it).
Then things start to get serious: Old “A” liked to focus the harassment on one Liar at a time, and Evil Emoji seems to think the same way. This week, it’s Aria. Tanner shows up at her door and tells her she fits the description from an eyewitness on who placed the call to the DiLaurentis house from the Two Crows Diner. Aria says she already gave her statement, but Tanner pulls an ol’ cop line and says, if she’s really innocent, she can cement that by going down to the station and being in a line-up. She does the line-up, is released, but then conveniently sees Sara Harvey nearby. So she heads back to the station to confront Tanner, asking if the “eyewitness” was Sara Harvey. Tanner obviously won’t name names, but Aria spills coffee onto a folder on Tanner’s desk to get Tanner to move the folder, thus giving Aria a chance to see the witness statement underneath (because a real cop would
leave this stuff lying around for the suspect to potentially see). The statement refers to an “attractive brunette” — so every actress on this show besides Hanna really fits the description — but who also carried a keychain of pink dice. Tanner asks if Aria wants to fill out a complaint form, and — in a good moment of realism — Aria starts, “Complaint form?! Five years ago, you found me underground…” but then composes herself, asking to be taken seriously, at least. Tanner assures her that she does…but says she doesn’t need to act on every accusation right away.
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