POST THE FUNNIEST JOKE te KNOW

hahaha okay this is an Australian joke.
Isn't it funnyhow americans name they're kids with traits they hope to grow up with, "Oh faith go find Hope, they're over they're talking to charity, they're waiting for honour.What if an australian did that.
"Hey his is my son opening batsmen, heres me eldest, superiore, in alto bloke, ah heres me daughter haha big tits"

okay i got another one i'm editing here.
little mary margerat went to a catholic school, but always fell asleep. One giorno the nun asked her marry margaret, who created heaven and earth. Little johnny behind her, decided to help her and poked his pencil into the back of her head.
"God almight," mary margaret cries. the nun praises her and contiues a bit later the nun asks her "who is mans saviour,", little johny sticks his pencil into her back again, and she cries out, "Jesus Christ" the nun continues and a little while later she asked mary margaret a question. "What did Eve say to adam after her 27th child," the nun asked. Little john poked her again and mary margaret yelled, "If te stick that stick in me one più time, i'll snap it in half"
okay thats it

You: knock knock
Me: who's there
You: ......
Me: that's what I thought

HAHAHA it's so lame xD

i have one but no offence to blonde people i have tons of Friends who are blonde

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of pecora, pecore and thought,
"Oh! Those pecora, pecore are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many pecora, pecore te have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, detto she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Its a blonde joke....sorry if I offend any of te blondes. Cuz i Amore blondes lol
One: A blonde, burnett, and red head escape from prison. They find a albero to hide in, and the police were after them. So the Burnett said,"Caw Caw." The red head said," Who who." and the Blonde said, " Woof woof" so the police find them and they are chased into a cespuglio, bush the Burnett said," Woof Woof." the red head said," Meow moew" and the blonde said, "Caw Caw". So the police chase them out of the cespuglio, bush and into an alley with a dead end. So the burnett said," Earthquake!" and the police scattared and she got away. The red head said," Flood!" and again she got away. The blonde said," Fire!! Opps"

ill just post that one lol the other is not-so appriate lol

this blonde joke.im not trying to make fun of blondes.

ok one giorno a blonde,brunette,and a redhead were on a games show.the domanda was,"how many years are in a decade.?"the brunette said,"i think itz 300"then the host said,"sorry thatz wrong."then the red head said,"i think itz 40"the host said,"sorry thatz wrong too."then the it was the blondes turn.she said."I THINK..."THEN THE HOST SAID,"SORRY THATZ WRONG!"

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the superiore, in alto level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes Frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

not trying to offend anyone with this joke, and sorry if i do.

theres a chinese man, a japanese man, an american guy and an australian guy on a plane.
the pilot says to the passengers that the plane is too heavy and they each have to throw something out of the plane.
the chinese man says, "in the name of china, i throw out these needles", the japanese man says "in the name of Giappone i throw out these chopsticks", the american says " in the name of america, i throw out these knives" and the Australian man says "in the name of australia i throw out this bomb"
when the chinese man gets off the plane, he's walking along and sees a boy crying and asks why. the boy says " when i looked up i got pins in my eyes" and the man walks away laughing.
the jap man is walking along and sees a boy crying and asks. the boy says"when i looked up i got chopsticks in my eyes" and the man walks away laughing.
the american man is walking along and sees a boy crying and asks. the boy says"when i looked up i got knives in my eyes" and the man walked away laughing.
the australian man was walking along and saw a boy laughing and he asks him why. the baia says "when i farted my house blew up!"

sorry its really long!!!

okay so there's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all on a mountain and they have to jump of and make a wish that will help them survive the jump.
first the brunette jumps off and says I wish I was a cat and lands safely on the ground.
then the redhead jumps off and says I wish I was a bird and flys away safely.
lasty the blonde jumps off and says I wish I was... *stubs toe* SHIT! falls to the ground as a pile of shit.

sorry if im offending enyone

there was a plain with a american man a chinese man and a lebanese man on a plain. the american man waved his hand out of the wondow and detto yay yay im almost home i can see the hudson river. the chinese man waved his head out of the window and detto yay yay im almost home i can see the great big bacheca of china. then the lebanese man waved his hand out of the window and detto yay yay im almost home they'v stolen my watch

ok this one i made up myself:
Q:How do u wake up Lady Gaga?
A:Poker face!
And here is one i use 2 help me with science class really cheesey nerd joke but ciao if ur smart u'll get it
Q:Why was the fungo invited to the party?
A:Because he was a Fungi! (prounced Fun-guy) so get a mushroom's kingdom is fungi which is prounced fun-guy so yea i no LAME

Ok, not to afend anyone but this joke is awesome.

Ok So theirs a Black man, Chinies Man, And A Mexican. Ther where all Lost in the woods for 3 days.
but then they saw a nice farm, with lots of food, so they go get some,
But then the farmer came out with a shot gun and says.
"Alright shove that Cibo up your ass. and dont laugh."
the black man looks at the Mexican and laughs.
the farmer shoots him,
the Chinies man looks at the Mexican and Laughs
the farmer shoots him,
later on in hevan they're talking to some dead people that also died da the farmer.
Dead guy: So why te two laugh?
Black man: The Mexican had 6 water melons.

There were these three men who worked on a construction building.
Lunch time:
First Man: Oh no chicken burrito again? If I have another chicken burrito I'm going to jump off this building!
secondo Man: Oh Ham and swiss again? If I get this tomorrow I am going to jump off this building!
Third man: Oh no bagel again? If I get another bagel I am going to jump off this building!
The successivo giorno they all got the same lunch and jumped off the building.
First Man's wife: If he didn't like the chicken burrito why didn't he tell me? *crying*
secondo Mans' wife: If he didn't like ham and swiss why didn't he tell me? *crying*
Third man's wife: I don't get it... He packed his own lunch today.

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, successivo to another guy, who was the only patron in the bar when he walked in. He talks to him for about five minuti then moves to the other end of the bar. The bar owner walks up to him and asks if he would like a drink. He orders a birra and says, "Man! That guy down there sure does complain alot. He thinks he's got it rough, but his life is easy!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, mister! I've seen te in here before. You're in here any giorno of the week at any time. Just what do te do for a living?" The guy replies, "I make bets for a living. I'll mostra you. I'll bet te $5 I can bite my right eye!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Okay, you're on." The guy takes his glass eye out and clenches it between his teeth. The bartender says, "I didn't know te had a glass eye. te win." The guy then says, "I'll let te win your money back. I'll bet te $5 I can bite my left eye." The bartender thinks for a moment and replies, "I know you're not blind so te can't have two glass eyes. Okay, your on!" The guy then proceeds to take his false teeth out of his mouth and clamps them over his left eye. With this, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, te won again. As te can see, I don't do a lot of business in here. I can't afford to make any più bets with you." The guy replies, "I'll tell te what. I'll give te a guaranteed way to win your money back. I'll bet te $10 that I can walk six feet away and pee in this bottle, which I'll leave here on the bar. I won't miss a drop. I won't even hit the rim, it will go right in the bottle." After a few minuti of thought, the bartender says, "There's no way! You're on!" The guy walks six feet from the bar, drops his pants and pees all over everything. He pees on the bar, the stools, the floor, even the bartender. He doesn't even come close to hitting the bottle, let alone getting it in the bottle. With this, the bartender starts laughing and exclaims, "Ahah! I knew te couldn't do it. I won my back my $10!" Just then, the guy at the other end of the bar passes out. The bartender looks down at him and says, "What happened to him?" The guy replies, "Oh, he'll be alright. I just bet him $1,000 that I could piss all over te and your bar and you'd laugh about it."

there was a blonde trying to buy a tv,but the cashier detto "no blondes allowed" pointed to a sign that detto it too.the blonde went home and dyed her hair red and went back to the store, the cashier detto "no blondes allowed"she went back home and dyed her hair black, she went to the store and the cashier detto "no blondes allowed" the got mad and said,"how do te know im blonde"?the cashier detto
"because,that's not a tv,It's a mircowave!