1- Last night I lay in letto looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

2- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

3- Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

4- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

5- "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

6- The road to success is always under construction

7- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

8- If te die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

9- Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

10- What te call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what te call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hope te like them :)