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posted by x-menobsessed26
Application For Permission To data My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied da a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical segnala from your physician.


Name:
data of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
home Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do te have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers o sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do te own o have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do te have an earring, nose ring, o belly button ring? ____


Do te have a tattoo? ____

If te have answered YES to #3, #4 o #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words o less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words o less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words o less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words o less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple te attend: ____________________________

How often do te attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" o "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do te want to be if te grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture o mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank te for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. te will be contacted in Scrivere if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
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Stand on superiore, in alto of the high board and say te won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because te have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend te can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the superiore, in alto of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say,...
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