Bill Gates Goes to Heaven
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up da St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send te to Heaven o Hell. After all, te enormously helped society da putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet te also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let te decide where te want to go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let te visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," detto Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy spiaggia with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"
"Fine," detto St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angeli drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as te desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured da demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up da St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send te to Heaven o Hell. After all, te enormously helped society da putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet te also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let te decide where te want to go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let te visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," detto Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy spiaggia with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!"
"Fine," detto St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angeli drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as te desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured da demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter
