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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized da irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing o two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points for the bride, in paraphrase: her wedding is going to be tacky, she’s too picky of an eater, her sense of humor sucks, and her stepson is making a dreadful choice in marrying her. And one più thing: her out-of-work parents are cheap.

When Withers received the email (Bourne sent it three times to be sure) she did what anyone would do: she forwarded it to a few Friends to share in the shock. What was the alternative —respond with a 'frowny' face? But instead of simply offering advice, some anonymous friend got pro-active and forwarded Bourne’s e-attack, launching a viral sensation in a matter of hours. Now everyone in the Western Hemisphere has laid eyes on Bourne’s email.

In a way, it’s the ultimate revenge on a mother-in-law who needed to be put in her place after such power-mongering. But it’s not going to make for smooth wedding. Bourne has been labeled the mother-in-law from hell da media outlets and Withers’ father Alan has fueled the fuoco da publicly calling Bourne “Miss fancy pants." Now parents on both sides of the couple are fueding and nobody's manners are in check. Suggestion for Heidi and Freddie, her groom: elope.

Bourne has told London's Telegraph she still plans to attend the wedding, but will maintain a "dignified silence." She may know about English etiquette but she’s clueless about the cardinal rule of the Internet: never send an email te don’t want the world to see. te almost have to feel bad for the lady, mom-zilla o not. That is, until te read the actual email she sent Withers. Here’s an excerpt:

from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When te are a guest in another's house, te do not declare what te will and will not eat - unless te are positively allergic to something.

te do not remark that te do not have enough food.

te do not start before everyone else.

te do not take additional helpings without being invited to da your host.

When a guest in another's house, te do not lie in letto until late morning in households that rise early - te fall in line with house norms.

te should never ever insult the family te are about to unisciti at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather te passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

te regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps te should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castello unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Ouch. There's no denying it's harsh, but if you've ever been in the line of fuoco in a wedding party, te know marriage anxieties strike darkness in the hearts of man. What do te think: Is this mom's email forgivable?
posted by snusnu13
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The light breeze was making the leaves of the trees rustle lightly and the birds were chirping their afternoon songs. In a small yard there lay a dog on the soft, green grass. This dog was brown and white patched, and had light green eyes. She had no ears, as they were cut off when she was a puppy, but her ear canal remained, so she could still hear.

As the dog chewed on her bone, a teenage girl stepped into the backyard. The dog looked up and saw her 14 anno old owner, Sally. Sally had tanned skin, with dark brown hair tied into a ponytail, a triangular...
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1. te fall down the stairs.

2. A albero falls down on you.

3. A lama, llama spits in your face.

4. te eat i poisioned cookie.

5. A roccon with rabies jumps in your face and bites your face.

6. te are making out with a person and then te trow up in their mouth
.
7. A crystle light thing falls on your head.

8. Your cuscino gets a face and bites te head off.

9. Your dog stands up and says I hate te and then runs away.

10. Your eating pankakes, their is a rotten egg in to, te get slmonila, go to the hospital, the doctors say that te are going to die, then te die.

11. When te are dieing your crush says that...
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1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying random things until u cry laughing
5. continue Leggere this
6. Walk up to siblings and say random things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on Facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on Google look up ghiandaia, jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add random people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
Are te addicted? Are te a super fan? Are te just a person who likes being enthusiastic about things? Are te on fanpop too much?

1. te see something te like, and think Oh, I want to fan that club!

2. te start shipping people te know o see.

3. te hear something awesome and immediately look for the Best Answer button.

4. te hear something awesome and immediately want to go on fanpop and change your motto.

5. te hear something and te want to commento on it.

6. te have great ideas of something te should post on fanpop at completely random times of day.

7. te get a new preferito and HAVE to...
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posted by kitkat709477
"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will te marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my room mates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no più arachide, arachidi butter."
"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and te have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea...
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okay, on my 5 completely random things to do...

5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as te can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as te can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)

i recommend te try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
posted by 3nala
3nala said:
"Yo whazzup mah homiehs?"

{screams something incoherent about peanut butter}

"I like waffles with peanut butter."

{is bored}



{screams something incoherent about dynamite and bananas}

"Oh well..."

{screams something completely incoherent}

"Ooh look at teh pretty birdses..."



{starts humming to the tune of 'U Can't Touch This'}

{Stares down a digital picture of GIR, then screams something incoherent about tacos}

"How did pig tracks get on the ceiling?"

{sings 'Spider-Pig'}

{Screams something incoherent about exploding squirrels}

"I told the man I was innocent, but the gun in my...
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Don't cheat! :) DO NOT CHEAT o IT WON'T WORK AND te WILL WISH te HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES! TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK te OUT. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT'S WORTH A TRY. 1st. Get a PEN and PAPER. 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT te ACTUALLY KNOW. 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON'T READ AHEAD otherwise te WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. ~ 2. successivo to the NUMBERS 1 and 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS te WANT. ~ 3....
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The superiore, in alto six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as te have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command o File Name" is about as informative as

"If te don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as te make a commitment to one, te find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around te has an attitude problem
2.your adding Cioccolato chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything te say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive te crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and te just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to punch, punzone someone without a reason
12.if te start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if te were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give te 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so te know*
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a Ribelle - The Brave who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This Ribelle - The Brave had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that te just wanna punch, punzone in the face , then someohow , te end up in a relationship with them , te fall in Amore , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing te want to burn either (:]) Well if te still have feelings for that person im gonna help te get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap te guys (: , ohk so te could first start off da doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave te on fuoco ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be dato LIFE in prison without the possibility o parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet pitone, python refused to eat it was dato three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD mostrare Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the pitone, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the pitone, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf o date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the successivo time.....thank u all for Leggere this..and plz commento ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think o relate to these, in some way o another:

-When te forget someone's name te wait for someone else to say it so te don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't cancella my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and te are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are te kidding me?' even though te know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when te grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when te cheat,we hate te and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like te understand PMS,because te dont.So stop recitazione like it.

4.when te stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and te get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So te may as well stfu.

5.when te flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if te arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like te dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your Friends then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask domande so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s domande in slow motion 2)Answer domande only with one word
3)Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” o “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer domande in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If te have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal da conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what te think."

7. Claim that te must always wear a bicycle casco as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway te never take, o teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from Lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see te crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person o kindly...
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Like the titolo says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My Friends detto that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
:)
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