Here are my lista of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let te know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything te might spit it o something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the scopa late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baia they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's preferito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the fungo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do te call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do te call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do te make an octopus giggle ten times?
te give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do te make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's preferito composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between te and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't te hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher detto it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the pomodoro blush?
It saw the insalata dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do te know if it's raining Gatti and dogs?
te step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do te know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do te get Pikachu on a bus?
te Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't te dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do te call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
te boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton attraversare, croce the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do te call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rosa and fluffy?
rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when te drink 7 coca colas?
te burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the pesce say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't te trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope te liked them. Make sure te check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything o eating anything te might spit it o something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the scopa late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baia they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's preferito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the fungo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do te call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do te call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do te make an octopus giggle ten times?
te give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do te make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's preferito composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between te and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't te hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher detto it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the pomodoro blush?
It saw the insalata dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do te know if it's raining Gatti and dogs?
te step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do te know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do te get Pikachu on a bus?
te Pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't te dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do te call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
te boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton attraversare, croce the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do te call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rosa and fluffy?
rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when te drink 7 coca colas?
te burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the pesce say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't te trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope te liked them. Make sure te check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
my friend sent me this text message a while fa and i thought it was hilarious!!!
i need to ask te somethingand i want te to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how te feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want te to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi o Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
i need to ask te somethingand i want te to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how te feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want te to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi o Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? te know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let te go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are te enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."
Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."
Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling te how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."
Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
•You know who isn't human? te know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let te go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are te enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."
Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."
Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling te how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."
Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End