My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.
Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!
I'm Scrivere te this letter to tell te that I'm leaving te forever. I've been a good man to te for 7 years & I have nothing to mostra for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that te quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, te came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your preferito meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. te ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. te don't tell me te Amore me anymore; te don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either te are cheating on me o te don't Amore me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made my giorno più than receiving your letter.
It's true te & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when te got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if te can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when te cooked my preferito meal, te must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from te because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved te & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home te were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope te have the fulfilling life te always wanted. My lawyer detto that the letter te wrote ensures te won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told te this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.