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posted by milorox18
1. When te get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why te were speeding, tell him te wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend te are deaf.

4. If he asks if te knew how fast te were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if te can see his gun.

6. When he says te aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why te were speeding, tell him te had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him da his first name.

11. Pretend te are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks te to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks te to spread them, tell him te don’t go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me cena first”

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause te don’t like ink on your fingers.

19. After te sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read te your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes te away.

25. Before te sign the ticket, pick your nose. te have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like te are retarded.

32. When he’s telling te what te did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells te to stop, say what are te talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin donuts and say hmmm….only 5 of te here tonight…….

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five preferito Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say te missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if te can buy his car.

48. If he takes te to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If te know him, say te had his wife for dinner.

51. If te don’t know him, ask if te can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When te are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what te gonna do with that.

59. If te are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks te in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”

62. Tell him te like men in uniform.

63. Ask if te can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party
1. well folks this will be an experiment for all of us

2. Oops! hey, has anyone ever suvived 500 ml of this stuff
before?

3. nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

4. ya'know...there's big money in kidneys...and this guy got two
of'em

5. wait a minute, if this is his spleen,then what's that?

6.damm! there go the lights again...

7.what's this doing here?

8. that's cool! now can te make his leg twitch?!

9.boo! boo! come back with that! bad dog!

10. sterile schemerle. the floor's clean, right?

11. what do u mean he wasn't in 4 a sex change?

12. ok, now take a picture from this angle. this...
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posted by heavenly13
yea...it sounds beter with the rythem and all that( ive recorded it with drums, Pianoforte , gutair...ext) and the forms probily bad.,,,,....but plzz read it and comment!!!!and be honest


WHo's dating who

walkin' down the hallway talking with my fiends
the gossip never ends
who like's who
who hate's you
who has the cutest new shoes


then i turn around and see you
and relize

Chourus: All i want is you...I dont wanna be cool. Who cares about all of this. lets get together and froget who's "in" and whos "out" , te know what its all about. I dont care about who's dating who...unless its me and you......
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1. Take someone's shopping carrello and switch the items with stuff from the person successivo to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen te in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of te on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. sposta "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide...
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posted by nessienjake
All porcupines float in water.

The airplane Buddy agrifoglio died in was called "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

If te toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but
more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

Al Capone's business card detto he was a used furniture dealer.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame strada, via were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Marilyn Monroe had eleven toes....
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Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pocket and say, "Oops, I forgot."
Ask the person successivo to te if they know how to tap into top-secret pentagono files.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the cancella key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever te hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
Borrow someone else's keyboard da reaching over, saying "Excuse...
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posted by pollyloveshouse
 Just plaln annoying!!
Just plaln annoying!!
Hi there fanpoppers =) So I was thinking about some of the things that drive me mad, pet peeves and all that, and I happened to open an chain mail form a friend with these things on, and they all fit me perfectly!! I also added some più that I came up with too, hope te enjoy!




1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is?




2. People who are willing to get off their butt to cerca the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change...
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added by 050801090907
added by 050801090907
added by GDragon612
Source: pinterest
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by Jet-Black
posted by blossomyumyum
Have te looked at someone and just thought,
“We don’t know each other’s names. We have so much in common, so close yet so far.”

Everyone always dreams of having a song sang to them, every guy needs to have their sing sang back.
Here are some ways that te can find your soulmate:

First, realize that Amore is love. That whatever comes will come naturally.
Kiss slowly and gently, because gay only means happy.

Listen to each other’s input. Give time to mostrare interest.

Let each other sing.
Music is often your best way to express feeling and emotion.
Realize too that sometimes lyrics are the best...
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added by zanhar1
video
random
Musica
added by BlindBandit92
With how I constantly praise the SMT series, I think it’s obvious to say that I am a big fan of the series. I’ve played all the PS2 titles, most of the DS titles, and am immensely excited for SMT V and the remaster of one of my preferito games ever, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. So with that said, it should be absolute heresy to say that I am even making this articolo about Persona 4. For those not in the know, SMT and Persona fan kinda, sorta, just a little bit fucking depise each other. It’s actually kind of insane how vicious they get. Like wild dogs, really. Persona fan call SMT fans...
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Meme
"The cup has runneth over"

As a black man. This was a long time coming. We've always had that position of secondo class citizen in the United States after slavery and now this is another big step the civil rights movement is taking to progress equality for all.

All over the US. Police officers are being corrupt on the fucking news during the riots and the peaceful protesting and I thank god that people were there to showcase that. From the depression,the covid-19 deaths and general inequality that has happened for LITERAL years in all facets. It's about time people rose up against this country...
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posted by Renegade1765
Yesterday was my 20th birthday. For a lot of people, something like this is very important. After all, we only live once and milestone years like this can mark an key moment in our lives. In my case, it's when I fully transition from being a teenager to being an adult. To celebrate this, I decided to finally pubblica an articolo that I wanted to write for a long time. I wanted to talk about my preferito medium of story-telling, as well as to explain why it matters so much to me.
We all have our preferito ways of telling a story, o to express our emotions and points-of-view. My preferito is animation,...
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