random Article: Why te dont get brits drunk

5

posted by Annacrombie

This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find più crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? te are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let te watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE te GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE te A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE te SEEN THE focaccina, muffin MAN THE focaccina, muffin MAN THE focaccina, muffin MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! te BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME o I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my Friends is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if te will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 3 others like this

smileypop9 Lol say hi to Luca from me! Tell me what he says!

trentgwenfan1 lol

Annacrombie @smileypop9 luca said "Smiley are shmexy like your arse you git"

AlxanderRfan LOL xDDD

r-pattz Does this sound incredibly sexual to anyone else? Role play and handcuffs?

cloudstrifefan It sounds sexual to me

XxEmolovexX epiccc

Annacrombie the reason i dressed up in a police uniform cuz Luca only listens to policemen since my dad's best friend is a policeman and taught Luca alot of things about the law

14

15+ Ways To Annoy Your Dad!

posted by zanesaaomgfan

1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him te met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do te listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him da his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your preferito guy[If te hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson o some who te like ALLOT!]

9. Come home saying te found your true...

3

superiore, in alto 59 Jewish Ghetto names

posted by fencingrocks

No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If te want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...

6

Pedobear

added by XxKeithHarkinxX

Source: Google

Mary Mary Quite Contrary meaning

posted by 1-2vampire

The Brittish Nursery Rhyme about Bloody Mary - Mary Tudor - o Mary I.

Mary Mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row

We thought it was about a girl named Mary who liked gardening o something - WRONG.

It is in fact about Mary Tudor, or, più commenly reffered to as Bloody Mary.

Contrary - Means changing things just for the sake of it (Mary Tudor changed Britain back into a Roman Catholic country after her father and her brother changed it into a Protestant way)

How does your Garden Grow? - Mary wanted a baby very badly, but she...

10

61 Funny excuses for not doing homework

posted by ilovetech29

just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped da terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds ha rubato, stola it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket ha rubato, stola it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...

617

50 Fun Things To Do at Walmart

posted by slytherin360

found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuto intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people te can get to unisciti in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department da sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...

8

What Is 'Overrated' Really and Is It A Good Term To Use; My Personal Analysis of 'Overrated'

posted by zanhar1

So I've come to notice how much overrated as been being used across fanpop. And on superiore, in alto of that, a good number of people really don't know what it means--or so it would seem. So I wanted to make an articolo of it since I seem to be making the same commento over and over again explaining overrated across the site; it's just so much easier to have an articolo to link to. Yes, parts of this are taken from my commento on my overrated poll.

All of the italics are from old comments

First and foremost; what is overrated?
A lot of people seem to have it mixed up (not just on this fan club either).
Overrated...

Scanning The Void Fractal Art Composition

added by xzendor7

Source: Rolando Burbon aka Xzendor7

1

Transformers yaoi?

added by mmzeoscouts

Tan lines

added by loonybug

Source: tumblr

3

Hmm...

added by ladolcevita

Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last

10

My 10 WORST Animated Heroes of ALL TIME

posted by KataraLover

As many of te know I made a lista of 20 preferito animated heroes, which fanpop actually advertised on the fanpop page in the pop culture section. I'm so happy about it and feel as if I was famous o something. Anyway just like with my preferito animated heroines lista I'm going to be making a lista of the worst animated heroes. I just Amore to do these hate articoli just as much as my preferito ones, sometimes a little bit more. Doing hates are just più fun because te get to make più jokes and make fun of that character. Please leave a commento and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion,...

4

100 Hottest Male celebritàs (In My Opinion) Part 4

posted by saz19126

Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him

62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish

63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes

64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...

57

Things to do that Freak Parents Out (WARNING: ATTEMPT AT YOUR OWN RISK!)

posted by wolfgrrl

1. AT DINNER: Look at your parent with crazy eyes, and whenever they say something, repeat the last word.

2. When they say, "What are te doing?", say, "What are te doing?" (emphasize the YOU)

3. IN THE LIVING ROOM: Tell your sibling to hide behind the divano until te give them the signal. Call your parent into the room. Start crying and say "Mom! Dad! (sibling's name) ran away! Call the police!" When they call the police, give your sibling the signal. Enjoy parents reactions. (WARNING: ATTEMPT THIS ONE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!)

4. WHEN THEY MAKE SOMETHING GROSS FOR DINNER: Ask them which restaurant...

3

superiore, in alto 60 Ghetto Bible Names

posted by TDAPlayer158

link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS

80

How Sexy Is Your Name?

posted by blaise_jez

I found this on the internet.
Add up all of the letters in your first
name using this:
A=100 N=450
B=14 O=80
C=9 P=2
D=28 Q=12
E=145 R=400
F=12 S=113
G=3 T=405
H=10 U=1
I=200 V=10
J=100 W=10
K=114 X=3
L=100 Y=210
M=25 Z=23

60 points and under= not sexy
From 61 to 300 points= not too sexy
From 301 to 599 points= pretty sexy!
From 600 to 1000 points= very sexy!
From 1000 to 1500 points= very, very sexy!
1501 points and over= very, very, very sexy!

Example
Carly {my name}
C A R L Y
9 + 100 + 400 + 100 + 210= 819 points
819 points = very sexy!

129

20 Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate

posted by slytherin360

found this on the net:

20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall bacheca and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say, “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold!"

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh sh*t, my glass eye!!"

6. Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that color before,. . ."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 secondi and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly....

1

When te see it, you'll shit bricks!

added by adultswimperson

Source: Google

139

50 Ways to Annoy People at the Movies!

posted by wild-bby

The List

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can te fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
——————————————————————————————————-
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m...

14

Facts of the USA Did te know......

posted by patrisha727

1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last anno met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the superiore, in alto of a grattacielo it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued da the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popolare domestic trip activity da American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...