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1. Get one of those receipts and rub it on your cat until the receipt sticks, and watch them try to get it off. (Works with all cats, and most dogs. And sme receipts are better than others.)

2. Get a cup of water, when your dog o cat turns away, dip your finger in the water and have one drop of water hit them, but make sure they aren't looking at you.When they took at te look away until they look awy then repeat.

3. Get another cat o dog to bug the other!
(Only if te want two animals!)

4. When your dog o cat is looking away, clap once and loud. But make sure they aren't looking at you, and te are facing away.

5.( works better with cats.)
Get a piece of string. tie it so it makes a 'O' big enough so te can put it on your cat's tail and make him spin trying to get it off.
What a baciare means
kiss on forehead: I adore you
kiss on cheek: I'm glad we're together
kiss on hand: respect you
kiss on neck: I want you
kiss on shoulder:we belong together
kiss on lips: I Amore you

What gestures mean:
Holding hands: I like te a lot
slap on butt:that belongs to me
hold on tight:I don't want to let te go
looking n each others eyes:you're beautiful
play with hair:you're perfect
arms around waist:this is mine
laughing while kissing: I'm completely comfortable with you

A good boyfriend would:
Txt te everysecond he's not at your side
hug te every chance te get &stays with you...
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posted by dollyllama247
i found this online and thought it was funny ^.^

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as te walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at te for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no...
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posted by poulamikundu
When is 99 più than 100?
ANS: A microwave. Generally when te run a microwave for '99' it runs for 1 minuto and 39 seconds. '100' runs for 1 minute.

What is brown and sticky?
ANS: A stick!

What two things can te never eat for breakfast?
ANS: Lunch and dinner!

Suppose te had to pick 1 of 3 doors to go through. One has ninja assassins, one has a lion that hasn't eaten in 3 months, and one has a flaming inferno. Which door should te choose in order to live?
ANS: The one with the lion. It hasn't eaten in 3 months, therefore it's dead!!

At work a lady is requested to sposta a 2 ton machine with out...
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1. "I enjoy staring at you!"

2. "I Amore the socks te wore last Monday."

3. "Hey, do te like the earings I bought just to impress you?"

4. "Did te see how cute Justin looks today?"

5. "I prank called te the other night. Did te know it was me?"

6. "My mom loves your haircut."

7. "Dont te hate it when te get atomic wedgies?"

8. "I'm your biggest fan."

9. "How come te didn't ask me to the dance?"

10. "Do te Yahoo?"

11. "I Lost my watch. Can I have yours?"

12. "My dad wants to meet you."

13. "Did te know thats not Michelle's real nose?"

14. "I got us tickets to see the opera."

15. "Does...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
1.If te know that the guy is a Knicks fan, get front seats to a Knicks game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get te a Coca Cola instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning basket.

2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, quiz him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy fan of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.

3.Let him cook cena for you-...
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posted by shiriny
Type out the sentence te end up in comments:

Pick the mese te were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March----------I karate chopped
April------------I licked
May------------I jumped on
June-----------I smelled
July------------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the giorno (number) te were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend...
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1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like te know what you're talking about when te don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so te can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When te screw up, don't...
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10. Blind People Dream

People who become blind after birth can see immagini in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.

9. te Forget 90% of your Dreams

Within 5 minuti of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic...
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Jeez, so many lists about girls telling guys what they should do when imposing them and such... It's time to extinguish those high standards, with some cold, hard, facts about us. Fighting fuoco with fire. *puts on sunglasses* Oh yeah.

So girls, here's a lista about boys, da a boy.

Guys look, but don't flirt!
1. We look at other girls often, as ashamed as some of us might be about it. We're just naturally distracted. It, however, doesn't mean we're flirting with them straight away. Here's a domanda I'd like to ask all girls in a relationship. What are te expecting your boyfriend to do, cheat on...
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posted by emisa123
1. When in a public place, randomly shout "I TOLD te TO STAY OFF DRUGS!" See what he/she does.

2. When your Friends is trying to tell te something important, grab a bag of Doritos and start eating them furiously.

3. When te Friends is trying to have a conversation with you, yell out "I Amore YOU, TOO!" Repeat every few minutes.

4. If te go to a McDonalds with your friends, when its time to order, randomly yell out "IT'S RONALD McDonald’s RETARDED PURPLE FRIEND!" Then go hug a random stranger.

5. When your friend is wearing a new white shirt, cover your hands with that arancia, arancio dust te get on...
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posted by Mallory101
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on o off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to mostra the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of te just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your ventiquattrore, sincronia file o purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tag to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours...
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posted by soutarouful
Why does your cat lick your hair o face? The first thing a kitten knows is its mother licking. Grooming conveys Amore and caring.

Why does a cat seek the visitor who doesn't like cats? Ignoring a cat is the opposite of aggressive behavior, so the cat sees this as "cat-friendly" and inviting.

Why does your cat head-butt you? The cat is mostrare affection.

Why does your cat rub against you? Gatti have scent glands on their cheeks and are marking te as their territory. Same goes for rubbing on furniture.

Why does a cat sometimes clean its pelliccia after being petted? Either the cat is getting...
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posted by akatsuki_otaku
Pick the mese te were born on...

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - i hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the giorno (number) te were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid...
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I've been saying I was going to do this for a while but now I'm finally going to. Just like with my heroines articolo sometime after this I'm going to make an articolo of the 10 WORST animated heroes. I have a very unique lista with some underrated characters, especially at the superiore, in alto of my list. Please leave a commento about what te think, enjoy.

 I'm... I'm real...
I'm... I'm real...

Just like my heroines articolo I started out my articolo with an underrated character, however unlike before this is actually a very well-known character. Everyone knows who Pinocchio is, parents have made jokes...
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1- The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

2- Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

3- The first known contraceptive was coccodrillo dung, used da Egyptians in 2000 B.C.

4- When te die your hair still grows for a couple of months.

5- It would take 11 Empire State Buildings, stacked one on superiore, in alto of the other, to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.

6- The first person selected as the Time Magazine Man of the anno - Charles Lindbergh in 1927.

7- The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million....
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? te know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let te go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are te enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling te how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
Fake Friends: Never ask for food.
Real Friends: are the reason te have no food.

Fake Friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
Real Friends: Call your parents Dad/Mom.(Or something along those lines ;] )

Fake Friends: bail te out of jail and tell te what te did was wrong.
Real Friends: Would sit successivo to te saying "Shoot ... we messed up ... but that was fun!"
Fake Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Real Friends: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

Fake Friends: know a few things about you.
Real Friends: Could write a book about te with direct Citazioni from you.

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1.skip randomly
2.pretend te have a random obsession of llamas and tell everybody about it and talk only about llamas for the successivo few days and buy all sorts of lama, llama related stuff then one giorno dont say anything about llamas and when ppl ask why say "when was i obsessed with llamas?theyre ugly!but i loooovee hippos!"repeat the process several più times
3.after anybody says something say "thats what she said"
4.in a movie theater put your feet up on the chair in front of te so no one sits there
5.in a movie theater if someone sits down say "that seats reserved" even if it isnt
6.laugh during sad...
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10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horoscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our Friends don't say "hi" da punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating Cioccolato once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... te know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing