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posted by gossipgirlxoxo
10
1.When your roommate comes in, pretend that te are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After te hang up, say "That was your mom She detto she’d call back".

2.Buy a jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

3.Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

4.Keep a tarantola in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say “Oh, he’s…… around here somewhere….

5.Shoot rubber bands...
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posted by Mallory101
9
-The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

-Our eyes never grow, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.

-The most common blood type in the world is type O.

-The rarest blood type in the world is type A-H, less than 12 people have it.

-Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

-You consume 1/10 of a calorie every time te lick a stamp.

-It takes più calories to eat a piece of sedano than the sedano provides te with.

-Many people think eating pesce makes te più intelligent.(sorry - it doesn't)

-Some lions mate 50 times a day.

-No...
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posted by Mallory101
4
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All te Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's cuore is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that te "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that te haven't received enough Cioccolato sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every domanda with another question. As soon as one of te says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to...
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added by BartyJrLvr
7
posted by Feathershine
2
1. Flick pencil erasers at the teacher then deny it
2. Say "I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u! I'm annoying u!.." keep doing it and see the teachers reaction
3. Pass notes in class, and when they tell u to stop say "we were sharing notes"
4. During Suisse/tests when everything is quiet say "Why is it so quiet in here?"
5. During tests when your done, turn in your chair if someone else is done, start whispering across the room to them
6. When your in the hallways push people and yell "PUSH AND SHOVE!!"
7. During tests/quizes turn to someone who's finished and mimic them
8. Steal peoples supplies then...
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posted by DramaQueen1020
Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the anno on his pickup furgone, van but when I did not see him for over a anno I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...
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added by bvbmary15
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
posted by someone_save_me
6
These are just some, più will probably be added later.

I hate:
-Animal abusers
-Child abusers
-Butthurt moralfags (If te get mad at me saying moralfags, well then, te must be new here. I'm not homophobic.)
-3/4 the mainstream crap on the radio
-Jersey Shore
-Homophobes
-People who don't thank te when te open a door for them
-Toddlers and Tiaras
-People who are always snooPING AS usual I see. /shot so fuckin' hard
-Fuckers who judge people da their appearance
-When my computer breaks down
-Fangirls who get mad at if te aren't borderline insanely obsessed with the same thing they are (Go on the Michael...
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added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr.
1
posted by patrisha727
4
1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last anno met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the superiore, in alto of a grattacielo it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued da the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popolare domestic trip activity da American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...
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added by bubblegum_kiss
1
posted by EmzLovesCheryl
1
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started Scrivere it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if te don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest te don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your Friends and either forget all about us o tell a story about the hideous freak te met tonight. te don’t know me, if te did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have Friends - except my brother....
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added by DaegFaerchsGirl
8
posted by tokidoki123
[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to Amore Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to Amore every day.
Contributed da funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are te talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed da funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, te have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed da funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond]...
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posted by Joe1996
9
1. When te get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why te were speeding, tell him te wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend te are deaf.

4. If he asks if te knew how fast te were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if te can see his gun.

6. When he says te aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why te were speeding, tell him te had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him da his first name.

11. Pretend te are gay and ask...
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A week fa I made an articolo of my 20 preferito animated heroines so I thought I'd make an articolo for my 10 least preferito animated heroines. I'm not going sugar code it, I'm going to be brutally honest because I really hate all these girls. Just so there's no confusion I wanna let te know that that number 10 is the one I hate the least and number one is the one I hate the most. Please leave a commento on what te think about this, enjoy.

10.Lady(Lady and The Tramp)

I know she's considered one of the most loved Disney heroines and the most loved of all the animal heroine but I really hate...
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Okay, she's kinda getting più famous da the minute. She has her own show, her own song, and she even performed at the Disneyland Natale giorno Parade. But honestly, in MY opinion, I don't like her one bit.

I'm sorry if te like her cuz I kinda don't. Just now I expressed my opinon about her on Tumblr and some 12-year-old went apesh*t on me. So don't hate me guys, but I REALLY don't like her. If te ask me, behind her fame is a lot of money. Think about it. Auditions, professional photos, Canto lessons, etc... hundreds of dollars. And who paid for it? Certainly not her. Her parents. Tens of...
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added by MeiMisty