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 Garfield 2015 06 07
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Source: Jim Davis
He really got Jon this time, didn't he?
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posted by Bluekait
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The successivo day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 anno old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If te can catch me, te can have me."

Without a secondo thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the successivo four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...
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1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as te walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at te for saying that simply reply “Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Dress up like L (Death Note) and walk in with no shoes.

6. If your teacher asks “why aren’t...
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added by Tamar20
posted by Gangster-Girl
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a letto of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your cuscino X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous...
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posted by lucius_malloy
"We must start with the children."
- Doris Twitchell Allen

Some history
In 1946, Dr. Doris Allen had an idea that eventually came to change the lives of thousands of children and adults across the globe. If kids were dato the chance to learn about other cultures and make international friends, they would da default, be less willing to fight detto friends. Thus they would choose to work towards world peace.
What started out as a single camp with delegates from eight countries in 1951 has now expanded to seven different international activities, with over 190,000 people having participated in over...
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1. They are very weird people.
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colori on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyse conversations in layers.
4. te will spend the giorno assembling furniture from IKEA.
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
6. They hate each other.
7. You’ll come out the last out of the Film because te have to see the full lista of credits.
8. They cant change a light bulb o without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen...
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added by shiriny
posted by milorox18
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to sposta forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.

The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.

Some people tell me te can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't

The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.

Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The più I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.

So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.

This is not mine‚ it was written da Sara Nachtman
added by PaulInDaHood
1.eat like 10 candys o something
2.chew lots of sugar gum
3.eat a bowl of sugar
4.listen to a song that makes u crazy
5.eat some ice cream
6.think of something crazy u want to do
7.just do nothing then if u cant take it it well make u crazy
8.go outside then do a game of base ball o swiming water and when u lose makes u go crazy
9.if ur mom tells u what to do and u dont want to do it it well make u go crazy
and finally
10.listen to a jb song then it well make u go crazy cuz u kinda hate him
LOL!
added by LoveSterlingB
added by GIVMEKINGJULIEN
May I take your hat sir? 83
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added by Tamar20
posted by 90sfan
One day,a bunny named Sparkle was having a picnic with her friends.There was a cat,a panda,and a monkey.ne of Sparkle's Friends said,"Hey,where's Usomi?"Usomi was another one of Sparkle's Friends who was supposed to mostra up for the picnic.He was another bunny.Nobody knew where Usomi was,so Sparkle decide to go look for him."It's OK,guys",Sparkle assured."I'll find Usomi.You guys stay here 'till I get back."Sparkle then went to look for him.And started her quest.Her Sparkle quest."I wonder where he could be",Sparkle detto to herself as she came across a group of blobs!Sparkle had her stella, star powers,though,and...
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added by Draculaura10
posted by BookWord123
1. Say 'That's Just Being a -(Their Name)-'
2. Talk To Your Pen Constantly
3. Swim On The Floor
4. Climb Walls
5. When te Go In The doccia o Bath Scream 'I'm Drowning, I'm Drowning!'
6. Say 'Ooh La La' Before Everything te Say
7. Say 'Thats What te Think' At Every Opinion Speech
8. When Your At School Drop Your Pen Constantly
9. Roll Your Pen Across Your Desk
10. Shoot Dirty Looks At Them For No Reason
11. Poke Them And Poke Them
12. Follow Them Around
13. Disagree With Everything They Say
14. Take Up All The spazio Everywhere
15. Get In Their Way
16. Laugh At Them And Then Stare At Them Like Their Strange, Repeatitively
17. Dance Like A Hulligan Around Your House
18. Argue At Everything Even If It Comes To Saying That a bacheca Is Black When Its White
19. Be Quiet When They Want te To Be Loud But Be Loud When People Want te To Be Quiet
20. Turn All The Lights On In The House
21. When Your Teacher Asks te To Take a sede, sedile Ask 'Take It Where?'

Thank te All For Leggere x
posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: sparknotes.com. They decided to take the challenge of Scrivere some of their own six-word stories after Leggere some better known ones. Enjoy!



Elevator out of order. Use trampoline.

Bird cried, "Feathers? I want fingers!"

Storming again. cancella the aquilone fights.

Hide! Here comes Beyonce. She's pissed.

This is all a dream, right?

"Kitty will be fine," he lied.

The elefante ate everything, even Paul.

Wizard vs. Jedi Knight? Audience wins.

"Ha," detto Jen as she died.

Party tonight. Bring your own cape.

Did that clown painting just wink?

Clock struck six. Mike struck clock.

Has anyone seen my porcupi—ow!...
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posted by galou_2010
found it on the internet... hope ya like it!


1. Insist that te are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the letto holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say te know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors da your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as te can and dance around the room for five minutes....
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posted by ShiningsTar542
If te think te Leggere all the books, seeing all the movies, and buying all the stuff makes for a real fan Twilight fan, wait until te read this news.v
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It turns out that there is a woman named Cathy Ward, 49, who is a mega fan of the series. She has her entire back tattooed with the characters from the series and plans to cover her whole body... WoW!

Cathy discovered the series a few years fa when a friend gave her the first movie and since then she has been Amore with all the mythology and characters.

Source: objetivofamosos