Church: Hey wait a second. You're not the Sarge.

Donut: Yeah, that's what i just said.

Church: well then how the hell did you manage to steal out flag?

Donut" Steal? i have no idea what the hell you're talking about-

Tucker: THREE!!

Church:JESUS!!!

Donut: HOLY SHIT!!!

Church: what in the hell... tucker? is that you?

Tucker: how did you get up here ahead of me?

Donut: And what's with that black shit on your armor

(later)

Donut: Is this guy a retard?

Church: Red, shut up. Tucker. Listen to me. You haven't gone back in time. you used the teleporter. And this guy here, he's not the sarge. turns out, hes just some dumb rookie, who happens to have the same colored armor as him. he got in somehow... for gods sakes, what is that music?

Simmons $ Grif: WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!

Church: HOLY SHIT!

Tucker: SON OF A BITCH!

Tex has the tank shooting at the reds
Simmions: son of a bitch
Griff: son of a bitch
Church in lopez's body: Son of a bitch (in spanish)

Church: so tucker, this is your little monstrosity. your little abomination of nature.

Tucker: what do i do?

Church: why r u asking me?

Tucker: i don't know how to be a dad, this isn't how i planned it.

Church: you planned this? Tucker, i had no idea.

Tucker: no, no, i always wanted to have the ideal father/son relationship. you know, when i see him for like 8 hrs. every other week and send checks to some woman i hate.

Caboose: it's emotional conversations like this that make me miss my mom.

Church:ok, let's leave these 2 alone. let them do a little bonding.

Tucker: hey, don't leve me here with him! what am i supposed to say?

Caboose: ask him if he likes baseball.

Church: it's an alien baby, Caboose.

Caboose: ask him if he likes t-ball.

Church. Alien, Caboose. Alien was the key word in that sentence.

Tucker: seriously. don't go! i don't even know where to start!

Church: Tucker, he's part of an alien race that's only purpose is to tell huge, grandiose lies to ppl, so they can seduce them, and impregnate them. so, why don't you just start with that. u no, common ground.

Tucker: i think i'll just stick to baseball.

Caboose: tell him about how his dad got to third base with you!