Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 detto …
So uh.... someone reported the basis of the emotionally and verbally abusive shit my dad currently does? But the thing is it isnt towards me and its mostly settled??

So now I have to deal with this social worker up my culo and trying to talk to my family about this???

Like.... really???

Only two people out of my boyfriend know about it and both make little sense?? postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like.... who??? più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Oh I found out XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Okay so update. Back when my dad was entirely dismissive and called me "stupid" when I mentioned to him and my mom that I was suicidal and shit in a bit of a snap, and I mentioned that and the rest of the fight to my therapist and he contacted the school to segnala that I am not in a sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza place and there is emotional abuse going on. They apparently detto it isnt reportable until this Monday where they changed their mind about it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
BUT THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS RICHARD. GET IT. RICHARD. DICK. THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS DICK SO I LAUGHED TOO HARD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Shit man. Im starting to fall down the rabbit hole of Marvel. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Yall I dont want to gain another HUGE series to keep track of :v stella, star Wars added to it and :v più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like Im feeling urged to go back and actually fully watch the Iron Man Film rather than half assing them too :v più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
That's good though. Embrace Marvel, Riku. te know te want to !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Fun story time. I dont really remember the details too well, but like... three o four years ago, I was having some kind of a high anxiety day. I dunno if it was a panic attack that I didnt know of, an anxiety attack, o some traumatic shit o anything, but I was experiencing high anxiety and was excessively zoned out as to cope with it, and some guy came to like... touch me, hug me, o pat me o something postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
So like... I had a secondo o two of panic where I shoved him up against the railing of the upper floor and was like... a secondo o two away from instinctually pushing him over the railing of the secondo floor before I snapped out of it and somehow managed to play it off as a joke più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like I dont know HOW I played it off without any domande asked cos I pushed him like a good 5-10 feet to get him to the railing and I wouldnt be shocked if I had a crazed look XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Nah I didnt look sad. I have a resting cagna face no matter what emotion Im feeling più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
RIP all my classes from today inoltrare, avanti tho XD My brain officially went from like 90% checked out, to like 100% checked out for the rest of the school anno when I finished my AP Government test (even tho I still have an AP Econ test on Wednesday XD) postato più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
Awesome. Be lazy time? più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Lazy is life più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, the sheer degree of which I like Stephen Strange is.... STRANGE.

Like I watched the movie, enjoyed it a lot, but he wasnt all too high on my list, but out of no where suddenly Im just as hyped to see him on screen as the long term Marvel preferito of mine - Loki?

And I just get that natural "Hes a favorite" feel, but I dont know exactly why..?

I mean Imma make Wanta watch it and I wanna watch it to analyze and see why I might like him XD But still. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
My memory is iffy but maybe I kinda relate to him? Who knows. I know I do have some similarities più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I really dont have the ability to be comfortable saying I like a character just cos I like them. I need to be able to know what in specific I like :v più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
te know, if te think about it, being a hero, a famous hero, just honestly isnt fair. Its borderline toxic. At the point that someone becomes a famous hero, the pressure to constantly be the hero and be responsible of helping others and saving the giorno just would consume the life of the 'hero'

Sure they are saving people and being great people, but it comes at the cost of their limited existence.

When te think about it like that, te have to pity superheroes postato più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
oh they undeniably have it pretty bad. più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
As an idealist, I can assure te gets rough having the pressure to always remain upbeat XD più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
IKR if I was a ‘hero’ I’d probably like idk più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
I think I adequately fucked with Riku's mind right before she went to sleep. I'm satisfied with that postato più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Why does Faba not have a Flygon? postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I AM BEING SHAMED FOR HAVING AN ESTIMATE OF 300-450 ENGLISH SONGS PICKED OUT ON THAT LIST.

FIRSTLY, THATS ONLY LIKE THE superiore, in alto OF THEM EACH

SECONDLY, I ADMIT IM A Musica JUNKIE, BUT COMPARED TO SOME PEOPLE I KNOW AND ZANHAR, IM A CUTE BABY postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
THIRDLY, I HAVE AN INSTUMENTAL PLAYLIST PROBABLY 9X LONGER, A JAPANESE PLAYLIST ABOUT THE SAME LENGTH (guessing), AND A KOREAN PLAYLIST THAT IS PROBABLY A BIT SMALLER più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
THIS IS NOTHING zappa più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
*cough* My irl Friends have no place judging me :v più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
My USB currently has 225 songs in the English folder. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, people in my school make fun of me for only listening to 'weeb' music, but truth is I probably like più English songs than most of the people saying that. Im a Musica junkie. Its just I have so much I like that downloading all of it is overwhelming :v postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ #Relatable !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
Musica is just really nice. più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Without this Musica I don’t know how I would’ve fought this - Lane Boy |-/ più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Ha. My English teacher had us 'read' like six libri in preparation for the AP Exam essay, then I did my mock on Romeo and Juliet (one that wasnt one of the six) and I detto Id probably do it on the AP Exam cos I know that one better than I should

She detto I shouldnt because its been a while since I read it and since it doesnt cover all the topics that well and should study the other libri (not that I even studied R&J) postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
But fuck that XD Totally wrote my essay on Romeo and Juliet XD I know that piece too well solely cause its famous, cos I read Tybalt two years fa and really liked his character più than I should have, watched an Anime version of the play (which btw, had the plot changed a lot, I recommend the anime), and cos its jsut a good piece to analyze off of since a lot of stories can take a lot of inspiration and similarities off of it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Even one of my side stories has a lot of parallels I didn't really intentionally do più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Despite never really watching the movie o anything, Ive always been attached to the idea and things themed / inspired from Alice in Wonderland postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Same honestly. Have always found its whole concept fascinating !!!! più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Me too! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im sorry Im like.... on a tired high.

I only got 3 hours of sleep for a really busy giorno XD

If I say weird stuff, enjoy XD postato più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
TIRED RIKU! DON'T APOLOGIZE! COME OUT FURTHER! DO MORE! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
If I talk too much I might start casually talk about murder o shit. Im in a demented tired :v più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
A tired high? Oh so that’s what te call it. That happens to me as well. So excuse any crazy stuff I say... I’m out of it a lot più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Seriously Riku needs to stop being all ansty about it and accept my offer to let her stab me with one of her knives. I mean sheesh. It's a flesh wound. MAYBE liver injury at worst. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Keep talking weird shit like that and itll be in the head più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
jk jk più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, I am not going to lie. I am 'crazy' and 'insane'. I used to be even più so, but honestly even now I still can be. I've gone to the point of naming myself something else. I've talked way too excessively with people in my head, one of which tried to convince me I was a god before I realized I was getting way too off the rocker.

I've thought of excessively sadistic things with no guilt o shame to back it up. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Personally, I strongly accept that part of me. The closer te get to me, the più creepy and unsettling things te might find my mind causing. But its honestly something I accept of myself. I am definately working out of it since it isn't a GOOD thing to be like this, but its not something Im going to let harm my esteem o hold against myself più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I dont disclose too much of specifics of how... off... I can get at times since theres no need for that to spill out onto here, because I always sound like a psycho edgelord and I find that cringey, and because personally I dont like to attribute it to my complessivamente, generale character. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
But yeah thats just kinda a ramble più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I want sleep postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
te NEED sleep !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
Sleep? più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
ya deserve sleep so much più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
"If that's the case, then te owe it to yourself to pick apart the games te LOVE, not just the ones te hate."

Amore that. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Person: Im so stressed out Imma pull out my hair!

Me, a person with Trichotillomania: https://tinyurl.com/y8fvjeqz postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Honestly, I'm not the type to be like "OMG te ARE MAKING LITTLE OF MY DISORDER" because Trich is pretty poorly covered and that is a common saying, but I still kinda just take a pause whenever I hear it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cos like... cagna I doubt te are literally gonna pull out your hair :v Stop appropriating my culture più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Jk jk più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I just find it funny-ish whenever I hear that line più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
I text Riku too much. Confirmed. RIP postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Ha I bet ya do! Y’all are so close! :) più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
*deep breath* *sigh* Honestly, searching for a roommate is a pain in the culo with my family issues and vulnerability issues and just my complessivamente, generale trust issues and stuff. Like I know I'll be fine regardless and I'll make Friends and all just fine. Its just my brain being stupid about it while I'm waiting for a reply combined with how this whole "I cant just get this done with" stuff does not fit with me who likes to get things done with before moving onto the next. postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Good luck buddy. Try not to listen when te tell yourself stuff like that. You’ll get through it and everything will work out. :). [Wow. Listen to me, little motivationist. I’m trying.] Stay Alive |-/ più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Nah, to be honest, the things that concern me are genuine issues I need to keep in check. Some of the issues I have with making irl Friends are deep rooted with family issues of mine and I actually genuinely do sabotage them myself with how my anxiety and stuff reacts to certain things. Its a work in progress and all and I know Ill get through it XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its just a stinkin pain in the asssss più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts detto …
Hi I’m back! A few days is like a anno when te live here postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Welcome back più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, Im waiting for più information on Osoro Shidesu specifically from Yandere Simulator. Cos honestly right now she kinda borders relatable, but there is so little actually dato out on her character.

Im super interested tho. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
She looks interesting. Has a pretty cool appearance too !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
So got back from Infinity War.

Not nearly as depressing o sad as like.... 99% of people make it out to be. Maybe its the fact I bathe in tragedy o because I write stories and tragedy as much as I do, but it didnt really hit me too hard.

Also rather predictable if te ask me. Like I wasnt shocked o surprised with anything other than the abrupt ending. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
With that being said. I loveeeed the movie. It was great and I honestly like how the first like... half of the movie had my preferiti XD Thor, Loki, Dr. Strange, and Guardians of the Galaxy. Just awesome XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Oh and Stark. Thats the other one. XD superiore, in alto Five Marvel Characters. ((Yes GoG is counted as one imo XD)) più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Great to know. Looking inoltrare, avanti to seeing it myself !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
My dad pissed me off. My dad just wants us to keep breeding my bird and wonders why we arent letting Smokey breed and every time we tell him its not healthy for them, its abusive to make them breeders for money, and that it adds to the problem that most parrots go to shitty homes, he just scoffs.

I called him out at constantly scoffing at it and hes like "You could make money"

So like. Fuck that greedy culo bastard. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Ill stuff that asshole in a cage with a woman and force them to have children for money. See how he fucking likes it. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Not really but still. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I dont HATE him as much as I sound like I do. I just refuse to forgive him o give him any leeway o even truly see him as my dad / family until he gets his behavior straightened a bit and honestly and genuinely makes amends and realizes how shitty of a person he was / still sometimes is più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, smart charismatic people are some of the last people te want to trust. They can analyze people way too well, and with charisma, they can pull strings way too well to make things happe-

.... oh shit wait. postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Lol! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also a random fact

Birds are literally dinosaurs

I raise baby dinosauri postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Also, te doubt it until te hear what baby cockatiels sound like. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
link più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also random fact about Riku

On an average, I make sure to get at least 30-60 minuti of bird video within each day.

It makes me happy. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
On another note, as I begin talking of my plans for the future and all, the rate of which my Amore and knowledge on birds began to become well known rapidly sped up

At this point, I can now expect that if I hear any talk of birds between two people and there seems to be disagreement o uncertainty of facts, that within five minuti Ill hear "Hey Riku! te are the bird expert, give us some info on this topic!" across the room postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
It’s expected da now I imagine:) più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im just shaking my head here at this argument between two people over Akashi.

One side is arguing "Akashi doesnt care for team work and bringing people together and only cares about winning." The other side is arguing "No, Akashi is all for team work and bring people together. Its one of his strongest characteristics and his main role in his team."

And Im just like.... Neither of te are right o wrong. te are just ignoring an entire half of his character. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like I dont even know how they just ignore one side o the other. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Honestly I really need to see "The Last Game" since there is a lot più interaction between Bokushi and Oreshi. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
GONNA WATCH INFINITY WAR TODAY.

#HYPE postato più di un anno fa
BlindBandit92 commentato…
It was a great movie. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ #ThanosDemandsYourSilence lol !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Annnd my dad didnt understand me when I detto we had to leave early cos itd be busy / sold out XD So going tomorrow! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Decided to take the trumpet solo in the Game of Thrones theme for Zeppie cos she seemed happy enough that we were playing it, I figured Id do that in her name as well. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, Im tired as hell despite me constantly sleeping at least an ora o two early most nights.

I am really just a permanently exhausted and tired bun.

I just want a good night to sleep and all.

.... did I not have a weekend to rest o something? I dont really remember 5 days back XD postato più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
take care of ya riku =( and try to sleep if ya can , want to see ya healthy più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ This, pretty much. Make sure te rest whenever te are able to. Still hyped for #RelaxedRikubun at some point !!!! più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts detto …
ciao this probably sounds really weird but I Amore te guys. Feel free to ignore this if te want. Most people either feel very uncomfortable o just don’t understand.
Stay Alive |-/ postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its cool dood XD più di un anno fa
nightiee commentato…
te too più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Most people could feel uncomfortable but I doubt that they wouldn't understand. Your feelings are much appreciated. Right back at te !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
So in my school we have this thing called a Senior Exit Project required to let us graduate and all where we have to present a powerpoint to a panel of teachers about our plans and all

I dont get why everyone is freaking out, trying to memorize it, and some barely passing it.

I did little to no preparation other than setting up the power point and just da talking about what I did for my Job Shadow and why I wanna do what I wanna do, I got a perfect score on the mock postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Relax. Talk genuinely and tell them what te feel and mean. Its not that hard. I get the shy introverts struggling with it, but even some of the large known extroverts are stressing out più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Good job. I bet you’re glad that’s over thou! |-/ più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly if I watched Madoka Magica again I feel Id relate to Kyoko più than I did the first time postato più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
I could see te relating a LIL bit to Mai from Ghost Hunt più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Kyoko has always been one of the Characters that interested me the most in this Series. I am pretty curious about which Character I could mostly relate myself when I finally continue and go even further with this Anime !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Yeah honestly though, I am such an extrovert.

Now that Im not a ball of anxiety, depression, angst, and massive distrust, I find that a lot of my goals surround people and having them around me and being a speaker and stuff.

Im not even an ambivert. Im a strict extrovert XD Just a highly selective one at that. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
link più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Wow 5hats pretty cool più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
❤️ più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Alright Im back. And with an emote of my own. -x- postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
lol più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Good to know. Welcome back !!!! più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
welcome back wanta! più di un anno fa
sunny
TheLefteris24 detto …
Attention everyone! ''Rikubun'' has been added to the lista of Nicknames available for Riku. I would like to make this Official. Fluffy Rikubun will certainly be referred to as such from now on.

KANPAI !!!! postato più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Got it :^; più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Uh what was that I just did?! più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ Are te talking about the Emoji te made? It certainly seems unusual. A Typo, I guess? più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Yup. lol più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts detto …
<3 thanks for the hope postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Keep the hope alive. <3 più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Preach 🙏 !!!! più di un anno fa
nightiee commentato…
Keep the zappa alive più di un anno fa
2ntyoneplts commentato…
Oh Satan! XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I always wanna write but dont have the energy and/or the creative flow XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Gosh Im tired XD Im still good and all tho guys. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Sorry about all the trauma talk out here lately XD I usually like to keep things fun and all, but Ive been too busy to be full on obsessed with anything, and dealing with trauma has been one of my largest focuses and goals these days XD

I dont any of te mind but I wanted to put that out there. postato più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
don`t say sorry riku we understand it totally più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ !!!! più di un anno fa
BlindBandit92 commentato…
riku it's your club. You're entitled to do anything te want. It's a blog of sorts. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
XD I know. I just wanted to put it out there più di un anno fa
sunny
TheLefteris24 detto …
Also......

HAIL HYDRA !!!! postato più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
xD leftie più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
XD !!!! più di un anno fa
sunny
TheLefteris24 detto …
#PidgeonLivesMatterToo !!!! postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
#PigeonLivesMatterToo più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ Preach !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
So I asked my therapist out of curiosity and all, and I do have PTSD apparently. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I see. It makes a lot of sense when thinking about it !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Just gotta keep urging Riku to shoot someone in broad daylight. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Aye più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Riku: The Highly Selective Extrovert. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I actually saw that while scrolling Tumblr and I think that descrizione fits me VERY well XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Better than Ambivert tbh XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
WOW MY DAD JUST DID THE MOST CARING THING I EVER HEARD HIM DO IN ALL MY CHILDHOOD

HE OFFERED TO GO ON A WALK WITH MY MOM TO GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN SHES DISTRESSED COS OF MY SISTER postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
omg

My mom and dad are watching a horror mostra about where parents go crazy and try to kill their children and my dads like "Its like your husband" postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
At least we now know hes aware più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I... Kinda have my concerns about your father watching Horror Shows... più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
^Eh... hes a child più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
What I planned on doing:
-Get all the last Z Crystals in Pokemon
-Write another piece to my stories
-Write RPs
-Relax
-Play Hitman and other Steam
-Take today off to relax and have fun as I rejected activities to do so

What I got done:
-Six scholarships
-Researched and planned out più of my college stuff
-Got my Health homework done
-Researched random stuff
-Finished two essays for an application
-Finished everything I can do right now for Davis postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I had a super productive day, but Im not satisfied since I barely got anything at all I planned today done XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I did one post to the RP and like... Kinda took some Flight Rising time but thats not really there either? XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
UC Davis: For a chance at a $1000-4000 scholarship, write an essay on your leadership experiences and how it affected te and will continue to help te in the future

Me: *flips through 900 things I could talk about cos leadership has played a major role in my life and Im super thankful for it and very passionate over it* postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Dude, Id write a 14 page essay on Leadership for free cagna più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like I literally might even be dead if I never found myself in a leadership position some how. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
PLUS IF THEY ACCEPT ME THEY WILL BRING ME IN FOR AN INTERVIEW AND I LIKE THAT KIND OF STUFF ESPECIALLY IF ITS ON THE TOPIC OF LEADERSHIP più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Personally, I dont really believe too much in not chasing what I want. Its part of the reason I cant sit and relax too much, but if I determine I want something, I weigh out how badly Im willing to want it, then charge full on ahead.

I make excuses from time to time, but if I cant get something done in the long run, its often capable to blame myself for not taking action. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
At least partially blame myself that is. There is a level of rationality to how much one can and cannot control più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, I personally wonder where I stand on the trauma scale. I know I probably fit under the "traumatized" title, but I dont really know if I actually fit one of the trauma disorders. Its something Ill probably ask my therapist o psychiatrist about at some point. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I'm probably a lot better now. Had a really bad moment related to shitty stuff of the past and all but direclty after a lot of the depression and massive amounts of anxiety withdrew for the most part. Ive been shakey when I wake up for the past few days, but I think Im good so for anyone worried o concerned, I should be fine.

Thank te so much to everyone who watched out for me and helped. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Some part of the whole fiasco with Wanta 'triggered' something I think and it kind of let più of my really bad mental state thats usually disappears when Im online carried in più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Im back to normal I think. And now that I see a massive unprocessed wound, Ill probably take goals to addressing it in my successivo therapy session and individually on my own. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
It is certainly good to know about the progress that has been made and will continue to do so. For the both of you, I hope. Always here when needed, Riku. We Amore te too !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
We officially have a baby bird. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
NOICE! A NEW MEMBER IN THE FLOCK! CONGRATULATIONS, FANPOP'S LOCAL BIRDKEEPER !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
We might have two più di un anno fa
GDragon612 commentato…
congrats riku our birdmum =D *throws confetti and open a bottle of chamapaigne*, for the non alcoholics succo, succo di frutta xD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
#StartingTheHitmanSeriesFromTheLastGame postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly though.

Akashi I am officially going to call my preferito character from now on. He super deserves it. He absolutely does deserve it. Outside of loving the character, he has always been consistently a significant figure in helping me process and work through issues, helping me make the right decision, calming down, self reflecting, etc.

And fun fact, his video can calm down one of my poor mental states so quickly and successfully postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
That I have this thing on my phone called "Emergency Akashi" since I could be in a really bad mental state and if I recognize it, Akashi video can almost always return that bad mental state to AT LEAST a neutral o calm and managable mental state più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Even if his character sucked ass, the fact one fictional item could have helped me so much through my mental health journey and all, it alone is deserving of it più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Yeah Im doing better now but honestly, I still need to take time to chill. Who knows I might wake up and have another bad time o something. I cant be sure but Imma take it somewhat easy. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I apologize if it takes me a bit to get back to being my old energetic and peppy self I like to be on here and usually am.

The recente events through me into a bad loop and pool that might take a while to fully get out of.

Im alright though. I just don't feel in the right place to have the energy and exorbitant positivity I usually do. Its not anything Wanta did o anything Im pretty sure.

Thank te to everyone that has been putting effort into this situation and helping me out. postato più di un anno fa
Zeppie commentato…
Take all the time te need. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
It is understandable really. Take your time, Riku !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Feeling better ish rn più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
A little più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Figuring out which Akashi icona to use when te have so many is hard. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Literally every time I want to display a new icona showcasing preferiti of mine. It takes a while !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
For me I have to like the icona and have that feeling like my mood at the moment likes the icona either cos it represent it o because it soothes o it just feels fitting at the time più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its liking it and then finding one that I feel is kinda nice at the moment and like the look of how it looks when I post più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Same here XD Relatabilty is a major factor when I am going to display an Icon. It makes things all the più harder honestly with such a variety !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I can always rely on Akashi and KnB to neutralize shitty mental health crap. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
random Anxiety: "I want to die."

Me: How about no te over-dramatic sensitive edgelord? Take your damn culo medicine postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I don't have time this morning to read through the uh... five o six messages since on early start days I always wake up for just barely enough time to work through my regular routine.

But I see there is a lot of misunderstanding the in meaning and intent of the words.

And also, I figured with how often Ive talked about my issues with relationships with other people before addressing it with them to te specifically, that te knew the difference between mine and Zeppie's stance postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I dont believe in going directly to the friend if the situation is serious o important enough. Doing that is how te make bad, emotional, and irrational ideas off of current feelings. For major and very important issues, it is best to go to other people for consigli and a secondo opinion. Ive always lived da that and only kept my avoidance of following it for Zeppie in specific since she gets majorly hurt da it otherwise. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I wanted to say that one for everyone who reads this. più di un anno fa
BlindBandit92 commentato…
Honestly I might be out of turn. But if something is really important. I wouldn't make an exception. It might seems like I would be a dick o something. But I rather be a dick than let a problem fester with no easy way o solving it. più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
Feel free to say your peace as much as te like, Blind. Riku apparently won't talk to me about it for another ora so...*shrug* più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Everyone gets all upset when things that aren't directly related to the story in Pokemon games are not post game. I loved unisciti Avenue from Black 2 and White 2. I loved where they placed it and found it entirely relevant and helpful postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
te know, one of the shittiest things about mental health, especially as a kid and teenager, is that it steals away your childhood.

A lot of people have good memories of their high school life, they remember the fun with their friends, they remember all the fun risks and activities they did...

But when it comes to mental health, te just kind of have all those times stolen.

I personally realize... As a senior, I'm far too late to regather them

But Ill cherish what I have. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Ill be happy that I have it right now and not let what I have left go to waste because of what I already Lost più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I do wish I could have my childhood back, heck I wish I could REMEMBER my childhood again, but theres no point in crying over spilt milk. Past is past, its time to accept it and sposta on. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I owe people in my highschool più credit and appreciation than I give them since I've spent most of my time around them being a reserved, angsty, emotionally-scared child.

Like one of my Friends from 7th grade... never really opened up at all to him. Apparently I was a huge inspiration and role model for him. We talked a lot but it was really one sided

o the trumpet brother of mine I'm not dating. He dealt with so much of my stupid jokes and I Amore him. Hes family. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Those two really helped me out even if it was no where near direct. Honestly, they both opened their doors to me if I ever needed to escape my house even though they dont even know the tiniest tip of the iceberg of how horrible my house can and could get più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Ill be honest. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
For the first time, Ill say it. I will miss them. I will be sad. But its not bad. Its kind of nice. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Geesh. Lucy - The Eternity She Wished For is a super sad story

#FeelsBad

#Sad postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
College: Has your dad been physically present in California for at least three years-

Me: Not emotionally present but sure I guess hes been physically present postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
"And squaring numbers are just like women, if they are under thirteen just.. do them in your head" ~ Bo Burnham postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Thats actually going to be my club new quote più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
True, I suppose !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
My body is so damn worn out XD

Going to the fitness center for like 45 minuti is always good for when the brain is being stupid. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
#Relatable !!!! più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
It is great to know Riku. Exercise will do te pretty good !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Heres to never having heard your dad ever say the word "love" "care" o "proud" to te in a positive way over the seventeen almost eighteen years of being alive.

Heres to him instead liking to get violent and yelling when anyone even remotely asks for him to say something remotely similar to it

Heres to him getting your therapist to give up after thirty minuti of being asked to compliment you. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
At the very least I get "good jobs" here and there for doing good things regarding his money and my money. Its something. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
TFW te get hit da a sudden wave of mild depression and anxiety and are about to post about it

Then realize te forgot to take your anxiety medication this breakfast and thats probably part of it. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, I dont think I can watch the new season of Supernatural o really much of any of it until I deal with my issues entirely.

It brings back bad flashes of really bad coping mechanisms and mental states I used to way too heavily relate to back when I practically binge watched it.

Sam and Dean are strong members of my relatable character list, but theres a reason for it. Some of those Citazioni hit way too close to home and their dynamic feels too personal. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like anyone else get that 'flash' feeling in their head when something reminds them of something unpleasant o tempts to bring te back into a precedente bad mental state? Like te dont actually fall back to it, but te feel the pull for a secondo in your head and its kinda uncomfortable but not immensely so? più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like a mini panic of a warning? più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
XD this is just a domanda for anyone XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
@Me a anno fa saying "Am I the only one that wonders when my signature would randomly become something fancy? Like adults seem to always have one (parents and all) and some of my classmates have one then theres me thats all like "What is cursive?"

Yes, it did happen. I dont know when but it did postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly going through my bacheca for an articolo is interesting cos firstly, this icona makes all the posts super hilarious and secondly, because Im really realizing how horrifically depressed I was.

Even più shocking since I actually tried not to post it on here too much and to keep it subtle.

Honestly super concerned for my past self postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me: Okay I literally wasted an ora of my time doing the most stupid and wasteful things. Before I can feel comfortable doing osmething slightly unproductive but also not stupid and wasteful, I have to do something fully productive. *groan* Ugh fine postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Flights Rising is literally the largest waste of my time but I still do it so much XD più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
That's me with whatever random app has my interest for the mese XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, I have a weird relationship with change. I hate change coming into my life up until it hits me and there is no return. Cos once I jump straight into it o get run over da whatever change came my way, I just kind of go 100% into it and embrace it to the point I Amore it.

Im someone really happy and comfortable with my natural normal schedule, but Im also someone who likes to take change as an opportunity to massively fix things. So its just interesting. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im officially committed to UC Davis XD

God I have to many massively long trips coming up in the future postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
That is great to know. Wish te all the best Riku. Have a good progress most of all !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Pokemon knew what they were doing when they let te name your rival. Honestly it's the most cathartic release. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
IM FINALLY home AFTER A 15 ora ROUND TRIP OF DRIVING OVER A LIKE 35 TRIP OVERALL.

IM FINALLY NOT SITTING

...

and Im back at my computer. :) Nice. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Maybe even 16 hours idk XD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Welcome back XD !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, being a "leader" is a great feeling and isnt something Id really ever want to give up. I always Amore having a team that I can work with and helping them / maximizing their potentials and getting work done and all.

Plus the respect and ability to influence another person's life positively is always nice. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Watching a PS4 gamer try PC Gaming for the first time is hilarious. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Currently off in Davis checking out UC Davis today and tomorrow. Took like... an eight ora drive to get here but Im here. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
link

Please do take and enjoy.

Wanta and I put a lot of work into it XD postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I certainly did enjoyed it. Well done, to both of te !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Riku confirmed that Professor Oak is a Totem Pokemon in Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and can be unlocked with a sticker. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
There is something really wonderful about learning about yourself in all ways possible. Looking deep inside yourself and finding all the good, bad, weaknesses, and strengths and accepting them. Its really wonderful to be honest.

I never loved myself più than when I started doing this.

It hurts like Lucifer's wrath on steroids at first, but the longer and longer te do it... the più magical and wonderful and secure and confident te feel. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
It is certainly wonderful recognizing that. As I detto before, pretty admirable !!!! più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Seeing te making those positive remarks alone feels pretty satisfying to me as well :') !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
God Im tired XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Being tired honestly isnt good for my mental state Im guessing. Go wonder XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Im alright tho. Its just amusing the amount of intrusive thoughts Ive been playing baseball with più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
#StrikeAllThoseHomeruns più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Relatable XD !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Riku is oppressing me! postato più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Never name your Pokemon after mental issues.

Duskull used Foresight.

Codependance was identified.

Me: "...." postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
:v più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, if I got into Harry Potter, Id probably fall in Amore with Snape. The issue however is that Harry Potter is everywhere. After stella, star Wars and Kylo, I fear having two popolare series holding characters I Amore postato più di un anno fa
BlindBandit92 commentato…
te would Amore Snape. Snape would be hands down your favorite. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
He currently is from the little, tiny bit I know from the series XD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^^ I agree about Snape as well. He certainly is your kind of Character XD !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Jeesh. Yuki Kajura is an amazing composer. Pandora Hearts OST, Fate OST, Madoka Magica OST, Sword Art Online OST, Tsubasa Chronicles OST.

Those are all some of my preferito works geesh.

*knows più Anime osts than animes* postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I have listened to some of them and I agree that there are quite a few amazing Tracks. Pretty interested to check out the rest !!!! più di un anno fa
BlindBandit92 commentato…
You've listened to the fate ost even though te haven't really seen the anime? lol più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
te continue to sin, Riku. Not that I cannot understand that but still lol !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I decided and I am committing to it.

I am going to process through my trauma and try to see if I can clear the fog on my memories and bring back, experience, remember, and accept what happened for everything it is.

Its not going to be fun, but I want to be able to pull myself back together before I leave off to college.

Honestly the hard part is though I only get really bad over my trauma when its abruptly brought up. I dont really get connected to it much on command postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
The thing about trauma though, especially at a young age, is that it steals away a lot of yourself and a lot of your ability to be an entire person. te forget a lot. te loose your history and your past. te loose your childhood. te loose your sense of identity. te become a grandly incomplete person più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I really cant be me at my full potential until I work through it fully so as much as I hate it, I want to do the most with my life. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
That is quite an admirable way to look at things, Riku. Making peace with the past is a major step towards one's Improvement. I too believe te can do it. There is no doubt about that !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly one of the things i appreciate the most in Friends and people close to me are people who have experienced stuggle and can manage and handle it well.

I really appreciate and like that since they usually do good with consigli and keeping me under control when Im at my worst. c: postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I often, especially in thr past, need people who can handle and keep things in a good perspective while keeping me from doing anything stupid off of stress o anything più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cos I can lack self control at times and have too many demons on my shoulder. Its kinda why I like Lefteris a lot. Hes my "positive echo chamber". Hes full of nice health lines to encourage positive growth. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I am all about encouraging one's Growth XD It helps when I feel myself strongly relating with detto person. I am always here for you, Riku ^_^ !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
DUDE. POKEMON GENERATIONS LOOKS SICK.

THEY A ADDRESSED POKEMON BLACK 2 AND WHITE 2 SCENE SO NICE.

IMMA WATCH IT. postato più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Wantadog's depressing introspective about Love.

Amore is nice when te think of it like "Oh two people who were meant for each other" but sadly the case is that when they say true Amore is one in a million, they mean it. 90% of relationships are not true love. 90% of marriages are not true love. 90% of true Amore CASES are NOT true love. Odds are no one here has even seen "true love" in action. postato più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
"Love is not equal" più di un anno fa
wantadog commentato…
I won't dismiss someone else's relationship, but my statement on the main post holds true. più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ I'll have to agree with it !!!! più di un anno fa
wantadog detto …
Three cheers for depressing yourself da asking for the impossible postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also, Im a really strong advocate for taking medication for mental health issues, especially when it starts to get too extreme.

Taking medication for anxiety, no matter how much actually thinking about taking it gave me più anxiety, was probably one of the best decisions of my life

It lowered how bad my anxiety got to a manageable level. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Personally before I got it, I got the horrible feeling like I was going to kill my real self off. It felt like a half assed indirect suicide. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I actually got super suicidal over it I think. But it really helped in the long run. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I mean I was already suicidal during that time, thats why my therapist was like "You really need to see a psychiatrist and get medication", but it made it worse più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Ive been on medication for like.... ten months I think now. Its been helpful without a doubt più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Its interesting how Psychosis and Dissociation are commonly seen talked about in the same areas. They are strictly different, but I can see where a lot of the similarities come in play.

Psychosis is a break away from reality, dissociation is a cut off from reality. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Baujel is such a wonderful character più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
The only issue I have to be honest with Scrivere his character is that I da no means depict him da his actual age XD There is no way a kid would act this way at his age XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
But sh.. this isnt a formal Scrivere peace. I dont have to be that realistic. Its just hobby Scrivere and its a side story to depict things. Maybe Im Scrivere it how he remembers it so it comes out as più mature since people have trouble fully making themselves as immature as they were when they think back to their past experiences :v più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
tfw te have symptoms of a large portion of mental health issues but write a character whose main issue is the ONE te dont so te gotta research :v postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Okay I decided. I will Amore Lusamine begrudgingly postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Riku: I hate you... But I Amore you... But I hate te !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Accurate più di un anno fa