Riku114 Wall

mostra le note di 11-20 sulla bacheca di 4838

Riku114 detto …
"Yeah, youre probably right. [...] Were probably all insane.. broken. But whose fault is that!? The adults are the ones who broke us! te want to hear the truth? .. We're scared" ~Nagisa Shingetsu (DRAE) postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Was gonna make my profilo "Just Riku" entirely cause I felt like it but nah. I felt like mixing it up since I didnt have a Danganronpa-specific background.

... quite shockingly actually. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ I'm shocked myself !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
... I just realized now after Leggere 'scientific literature' for an Animal Science Assignment a few weeks fa that I find Leggere "scientific literature" for psychiatry and psychology as just like... a hobby XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Just a reminder of the stream on Saturday 2 PM postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
On another note, getting a double major in Animal Science (Avian and Behavior specialization) and Psychology in 4 years seems a lot easier than Pre-Vet in 3.5 years XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED OUT EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR FUCKS SAKE FINALLY THE AMBIGUOUS PIECES OF ANIMAL SCIENCE MATCHED. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Okay so like I am going to complete my major in Animal Science, Avian Science Specialization and BEHAVIOR Disciplinary Focus. All of that is necessary for the Animal Science degree btw. A specialization and a Disciplinary Focus. But listen here - Im either going to minor o double major in psychology just like I used to plan to for the majority of my middle / highschool career and carry on to get a Doctorate in Animal Behavior and / o Psychology and then go into research for the both of them and essentially try to bridge the domanda marks between animal and human psychology and see how the two could better develop, grow, and understand when looked at each other in a parallel manner. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
This solves a lot of my issues and pretty much combines my main two interests, obsessions, overwhelming passions, and ties in my otherwise 'random' goals into a larger circle. Like one of the issues with being a Veterinarian was that I felt I would get bored being specialized in that and just working commercially and I wouldnt be learning at the rate I like to. My brain would get bored and Id start to feel like life is dull. As for genetics and convservation, it just seems fun but half baked. I wasnt passionate o THAT curious about it. BUT WHEN te GO INTO ANIMAL BEHAVIOR AND PSYCHOLOGY, THEY ARE BOTH HUGE PASSIONS OF MINE AND THEY ARE BOTH RATHER UNEXPLORED TERRITORIES SO THERE IS A LOT OF domande AND THINGS TO FIGURE OUT più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Okay enough of me being a nerd. I just felt some of youd be curious XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
But yeah for those of te that dont fully understand how problematic dissociative amnesia is when getting mental help

Therapy: So how was your week?

Me: ??????? I can check my notes if te like????????

Psychiatry: Okay lets track your progress. In the past two weeks have te felt this?

Me: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: WHAT IS TWO WEEKS. HOW COULD I REMEMBER THE PAST TWO WEEKS. MAYBE IVE BEEN GOOD MAYBE I HAVENT WHO KNOWS postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I can probably maybe answer for "The past two days" confidently at best XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
On a secondo note, we have a "stale" (someone who joined the band post-Summer Retreat) and my motherly "adoptive" instincts kicked in and I think he thought I was an "upper" / "returner" for a bit until I was like "Oh yeah Im new too so I know how te feel" postato più di un anno fa
BlueDopamine detto …
97th. Was waiting to be the 100th, but knowing the growing community fanpop's active members number , this might take forever. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Understandable XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Honestly Ive Lost a member o two so its kinda been staying around 95-97 for the past long while più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me: *rambling about precedente mental states to boyfriend* Ah... 10th grade was like the most peaceful anno even though I dont remember any of it.

Me: ....

Me: .... maybe it wasn't peaceful after all and I only say it was because of all the years, I dont remember any of 10th grade. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
My boyfriend is too cute to be depressed o mopey when talking to on video chat postato più di un anno fa
BlueDopamine commentato…
I'm so gelatina più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
The depressing thing is when te pause for a moment and realize te wont remember your own proposal. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
"therapist: so how was your week

me: susan i just told te last time that i have dissociative amnesia i don't know how te are expecting me to answer that question"

That is such a mood postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I legit take notes più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I will take a note of this and legit not really remember it and in my session go "OH YEAH THAT lol. That was funny." più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I honest to god do not know how most of the world does it. I am trying my damn hardest here to see if I can get myself to ACTUALLY remember a significant childhood memory with genuine episodic memory and all Im getting is a factual, third person, emotionally barren, summary of what it is using the same words that I use to describe it everytime cause its how my mind registers it

How do te people remember stuff XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
How do te people do this XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Fun stream XD Hope te guys enjoyed it. postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
I certainly did. Looking inoltrare, avanti to successivo time as well !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im honeslty SUPER hyped to play DRAE for those that can make it XD

I mean Im hyped for the stream but I personally Amore DRAE a lot and it seems like such a fitting game to play through since there are people I know who planned to go through the story and all and I just appreciate a lot abotu the game

Plus te might get to hear me growl at [her] postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I might try to sposta the weekly time an ora o two earlier to see if I can make the time work for più people successivo week. Currently trying to figure out a good time for everyone XD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
A relatable feeling. Still having mixed feelings about anyone who hasn't gone through the first two Games. Regardless, having just the general idea about the first entry at least will still make the experience enjoyable enough !!!!. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I decided Imma gather a Live National Dex on PokeBank cause someone on my floor did it and I helped them evolve the last few they needed and it sounded fun XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
TFW te find a song that tears te between your Amore of Natale and te Amore of nicely edgy songs XD

Why so edgy about Natale XD Its so nicely edgy that its kinda enjoyable but like :v I like it but :v Why hurt Natale like this :v postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Guys postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I might Amore my man più than birds più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Idk its genuinely hard to say, but I just homestly might. Maybe notably più idk. I shouldnt claim such things when fluffy più di un anno fa
Zeppie commentato…
Fluff is the realist yo v: più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I NEED TO STOP GETTING ALL FLUFFY OVER MY MAN BEFORE BED. I NEED TO SLEEP DAMN IT postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
*collects steam cards while working on really long and tedious Animal Science articolo reading* postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I dont think anyone on here really understands how much I Amore mt boyfriend and how blessed I am to have him in my life.

Lowkey may o may not now be kept up thinking about it postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I cant wait to make him my waifu officially più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Riku: *complains how tired she is*

Riku: *stays up playing Showdown with Lefteris* postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I can not stop listening to cannone in D XD Its too peaceful postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
.... why do I have a better emotional memory for my RP characters than I do for my own life?

XD Like Ive always loved Pachbell's cannone in D, but there was a really sweet scene over a wedding in one of my RPs where it was played and the sheer joy, happiness, and warm peace amongst chaos and terror for the groom was just so great and it boosted how much I loved cannone in D postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Maybe I RPed so much it was bad for me and encouraged dissociation, maybe the reason I could get THAT far into feeling the emotions of my characters came at a huge cost, but I wont say I dont have some good memories and emotions through them. Especially during a time when everything else in the world was distant, numb, and empty. Sure it probably caused some harm, but in the moment it was the savior to my world and I did get some good memories - albiet not mine - out of it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I used to be a severe maladaptive daydreamer più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
For those that haven't kept up with the polls, if anyone wants to unisciti in and watch me play through some games, I will probably be playing games on Saturdays Pacific Coast Time.

I think this week I might start Danganronpa Another Episode again for te all XD Time is still to be determined

It depends if I am kept in the football game o not. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
link più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I think Lefteris caught a lot of the first playthrough I did XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
And Imma go through [her] again for yall to share the game with te XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im so honestly sleep deprived. How am I awake rn? XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I'm a Queen. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Nah not really though XD Im so weak to flirtatious begging though. ((Also may have been a bit of a residue from calming down from a snap to which I was five secondi from making my dad grovel)) più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Honestly, for those that know, Lacie from Pandora Hearts looks almost scarily like Aderis so Im usually really careful about using her icon, but I kind of feel like its a good fit for my mood and honestly I Amore Lacie XD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
#Himedere !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Ah yes, it wouldnt be me coming home if my dad doesnt throw something.

RIP the cute japanese animal cup postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Actually I dont think the cup broke cause its probably like some really good plastic o something but now theres wine all over the floor which IS NOT my problem. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Honestly tho. Great boyfriend helped a lot XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
APPARENTLY WE GOT A NEW BIRD TO THE FLOCK postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Awwwww Avery and Lucy were preening each other in an awkward manner XD Seems like they MIGHT be dating XD

Well più like Lucy was preening Avery buuuuut XD Its cute. Theyre growing up. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
.... HMMM

>goes home and back to college for three weeks before coming back for Christmas
>has a paper due on the 30th
>has a week of marching practice for the last game on the 1st
>has finals on the third week
>dying? postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Also behind as hell in Chem XD But yeah. Ill figure it out XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also the thing about my therapist is that he calls me out on somethings. Such as "You use your memory as an excuse a lot but te can remember. te just dont want to. And even if te dont know how, it doesnt mean te cant."

Im not going to lie. I kinda try to hide it from myself but there are some occasions that I know that if I push I CAN remember something but there is a lot of natural resistance to it and just an extreme distaste to thinking about it even just on the surface level so postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I often allow myself to go "Welp, it took più than five secondi and a tiny tiny bit of effort to remember. Guess I cant remember it". Its not always an excuse that I try to keep from admitting to myself that its an excuse, because a lot of the time I really cant o I can only barely remember o I just flat out dont know how to find the memories o how to connect with the emotions of the time più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
But I do know I compulsively let myself throw the "Cant remember it. Guess we cant think about it" really quickly and often prematurely. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Im in a constant journey of going to things I find normal and being ".... is that normal o is that part of my messed up mental health" più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Its weird. Being home literally feels like I was moved to an entirely different world but in a like... good way I think?

Was I really that shit culo dissociated to hell and back at college? postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
It honestly makes college just seem like some odd dream I had o something like that. Its really odd. I mean its not THAT odd for me since cognitive distortions and attachment to the world / my memory has always been odd più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
MY ANKLE HURTS LIKE SHIT FOR SOME REASON XD

I mean it is my hurt one but like :v Its been recovering and suddenly it started hurting again ;-; postato più di un anno fa
SilentForce commentato…
Did te overwork it? più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Probably tbh XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Kill me XD Jkjk più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly Im kinda glad I have gotten better at keeping myself from freaking out / getting depressed over things I can't control and things I know Ill manage / survive through. Not to say I do it all the time as well as Id like, but it saves me a lot of breakdowns that quickly build upon one another

Probably a good part of it is actually being on medication, but it is also a good part also just handling myself better I imagine. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cause when te let your opportunity to relax o have fun because something makes te upset, te get even più upset cause of that and it just builds up like a mountain that just doesnt work più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
So yeah. Kinda figured out that for the successivo two years I might be stuck between working and being uncomfortable and relatively isolated to being extremely drained and a bit easily overwhelmed until I can get my boyfriend up north and thus have my environment più stable più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cause uncontrolled unplanned breakdowns are bad, but like... controlled, timed ones are really helpful and useful when te dissociate a lot and can get comfortable enough. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
.... Ive been away from home for two months and it legit feels like I was only gone for maybe a week at most save for the first few minuti of "Holy shit human touch".

Like Im not saying "Everythings just as it was left" cos there actually isnt much. It just legit feels like that whole time vanished :v I know I was at college for two months and it was long and tiring :v Weeeiiiirrrddd postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I swear to fucking god XD My brain better not throw away those two months already. Theres some interesting shit there :v più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Dude so excited to go home tomorrow XD I get to see my birds again as well as my boyfriend and even some of my old band kids probably \(-- 3 -)/ postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
That is great to know. Have a good time. Make the most of it !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Bad Memory?

Cons: A lot of things mainly obvious

Pro: I can still be surprised at the end of an Anime Ive already watched twice over postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
.... to be entirely honest I dunno how braced Ill be for Smokey's inevitable death in like.... 5-15 years from now :v

Like Im alright not taking her with me since shes considerably old and well integrated into the current flock cause the sposta up north could be dangerous for her and cos my mom can take care of them well, but I dunno. She was a major part of the good things of my childhood that I dunno. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
For all of te that dont really understand how old parrotss live, even cockatiels, one of the shortest living parrots, Smokey, potentially one of the oldest that I got in the summer of 3rd-4th grade ((was probably a little under a anno old))

I got her when I was about 8. Shes currently about 10 years old, maybe a bit older. She will live anywhere from until Im.... 23 up to 38.

Lucy, who hatched July 2017, is a little over one anno and will live until Im 42 if cared for right. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Maybe even longer for both of them. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly, I am ever thankful for it, but the whole "wounded, cold person who can be helped and fixed to be soft" is a huge trap and like.... 90% of the time it doesnt really go out to the end. A small but notable amount of the population are like "Id Amore a traumatized partner" o "Oh Id Amore a yandere" o what not, but its honestly not a good idea

My boyfriend was honest to god crazy for taking the chance with me after half the things I did and staying after I did other things. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Quite honestly if I wasnt stubborn on getting better, it could have easily turned into a long term abusive relationship faster than I could have held myself back. Yeah I have an amazing relationship with him now that we worked through all of that, but seriously... not something te should put your bets on. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its honestly kinda gross how romanticized the "cold and cruel traumatized" character is. più di un anno fa
Rihanna312 commentato…
This is so true! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Okay so its likely that I actually do have genuine multiple personalities and in this session, for the first time in years and possibly to my memory, I actually roughly experienced a general vague memory that had almost all of the emotion behind it

And while that sounds horrible, its legit what Ive been kind of wanting because its the only thing I have been unable to work on in my mental health cause I resist so naturally against it myself that even in this session postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I had to very forcefully make sure I didnt dissociate o let myself escape it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
It took him not letting me dodge it and escape it and a very forceful but balanced amount of me forcing myself without letting myself get distracted and escape da focusing too much on forcing myself più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Very interesting. I see now what te mean da him doing a good work !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Man its been so long since I so quickly and suddenly cut off emotion. postato più di un anno fa
2ntyOnePilots commentato…
Relatable. Good luck ‘big sis- Riku’. Hope that gets fixed up for te soon. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Well Imma get fucked in the culo da a 60% weighted final. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Which wouldnt be a huge deal if either A) I didnt get a C+ on the last midterm because of one stupid calculation error (cause I would have otherwise gotten an A) and B ) If I wasnt learning from fucking textbook because my professor has an accent te cant fucking understand più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
What a fucking giorno ruiner. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
^ più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
IM SAD

I CANT unisciti THE "Mental HEalth in Award Winning Movies" FIRST anno SEMINAR BECAUSE IM TOO AHEAD IN UNITS AND CAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY CLASSES

I JUST WANT TO DISCUSS AND TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND WATCH Film REVOLVING IT :VVVV postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
NOTE TO SELF CALL COUNSELING AND FIGURE OUT HOW LATE I CAN cancella IN CASE MY MIDTERM GETS PUSHED BACK AGAIN.

ALSO FIGURE OUT PASSING PERIOD.

Thank you, this as been a reminder from Riku who wants to go back to sleeping after her classes got canceled at 7 AM and couldnt go back to sleep out of both joy and her brain not letting her since there were things to do because of it. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly Yandere Dev is miserable and I stopped being a supporter cause I kinda gave up on the fact his project would be completed but honestly I might go back to supporting him more. o at least giving his thing a secondo chance. I kinda felt bad before but at least hes aware and working on things. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Ugh. When te are here trying to keep a decent sleep schedule and your roommate wont get off the phone on a school night at 1:30 AM after te asked nicely at 1:00 AM and just passive aggressively asked again. postato più di un anno fa
JetBlack__ commentato…
Why not use ear plugs? più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cos I couldnt sleep with earplugs più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I could honestly live with only birds and my boyfriend and I would be happpppy. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I want my flock back ;-; più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
ALSO THE LIKE BURNT / CHAFED / DAMAGED SKIN FROM USING CRUTCHES WITH A TANK superiore, in alto BURNS SO BAD WHEN I PUT LOTION ON Gesù CHRIST I FEEL LIKE ITS ON fuoco postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
*heavy conversation and analysis about the cooperate religion of BTS*

*sends a random bird video three secondi after* postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
That actually happened and is the best summary of me più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I swear to god my mom gave me a cuore attack XD

She abruptly started calling me which isnt TOO odd and I was like "Im busy, what is it?" and she just detto "Lucy" XD

So I quickly dropped everythign and answered it and it was just Lucy hanging out with her and being a really good bird XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I honestly dont understand how people can just sit and piss their life away online.

Id be più producitve if my piss culo brain would function and actually get motivated but the lack of physical movement is making me honest to god unmotivated mentally and thus cant focus o really enjoy anything >.> postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly kinda hate my leg right now. I have a three giorno weekend Im spending being a hermit in my house cause I cant go out anywhere and socialize o so anything. Im literally just sitting on my culo watching anime, watching youtube, and occasionally doing some homework o whatever. No real video games to play since Im still doing Hakuoki and not interested in any others. No real socialization cause Im a cripple. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Without class o band o anything I just lowkey kinda realize how shit as boring life is. I need something to be passionate over o something to learn from o something / someone interesting but Im just fukcing sitting here doing the same thign over and over again. Like wtf più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
If Im just gonna sit and waste these successivo few days can I at least not be involved in it and just fastfoward? I get a bit weird when I realize how monotonous life is and I dont particularly like it più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Krul might make my waifu lista XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
IM SO SHOOK. WHY ARE MY FIRST BATCH OF ROOKIES DOING SENIOR SPEECHES?! ARENT THEY STILL LIKE FRESHMEN

WHY DID THEY GROW UP ALREADY?!?! postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I request a bird video in my club's video section if anyone has any. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
"a bird videos" più di un anno fa
JetBlack__ commentato…
Sure più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
So Im trying to analyze BPD, OSDD-1B, and DID to see if what I do and experience is più fitting to one of the three o just seeing them in the context of eachother and its honestly really interesting. I dunno if Ill post it on "Just Shut Up" o as an articolo but wow.

I could honest to god write a thesis paper on this with how interestingly similar the three - especially BPD and OSDD - are on an outward level. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
#TripleHealRainDishPelipper postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
#SpamProtectAndHealUntilThereIsn'tAnyMorePP !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
>Sugar Daddy Riku postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Lets play the game of "Is this the dissociated part of is that the dissociated part" postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I honestly need my flock back. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Apologies about the Satou Matsuzaka gif spam XD The wiki feature wasnt working postato più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
No need to apologize over adorable Waifu Gif spams. te did well !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
FUCK IM SO DISAPPOINTED. HAPPY SUGAR LIFE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CLASSICAL SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY ENDING WITH THE WHOLE CAST COMING TOGETHER AT THE END AND DYING ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE BUT THEN THEY YEETED OUT OF THE PLAN AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
EEEE. ITS ALMOST THURSDAY. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I Amore therapy so much when I have bad weeks on mental health XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Ive kinda been pulling myself through the way I usually do and kind of using band and the trumpet as a crutch a bit. Cause honestly they give off such a nice healthy environment and air. Its soft and I feel so much più relaxed around them. Like when the topic of mental health comes up its always sympathetic, empathetic, and just "Oh its good to care for yourself" and all and the world just needs so much più of that. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Im very grateful. più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im still honestly kinda amaro I was disarmed going to college. I like to have at least one coltello on me at all times for just general use o for emergency use o just as a bit of a "dont fuck with me" if Im alone at night. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
GOD. Happy Sugar Life thus far is GREAT. Like the stylistic choices to display emotion and mental snaps are really great and as someone who has had very... lets say vindictive / aggressive mental snaps, I feel it is really good representation XD

Also I really like Sato as a Yandere. Better than Yuno I believe. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Holy shit is it amazing. All the characters are mentally fucked and the Anime goes about its own ways of addesssing it più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
And displaying it and I fucking Amore it but like più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I need to go to sleep XD But Im fucking hooked god help me più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Debating between adding più to characters o watching Happy Sugar Life. I decided that one since it interested me the most even though I am slightly concerned of certain things not workign well with me but... Ya know #Yolo postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Pretty much had a one-on-one sectional practice with one of my section leaders cos no one else showed up and it was actually pretty awesome. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also I realized one of the best types of people to have around te in the case te get into an accident o bad situation is someone with like.... anxiety o PTSD cos we are always either mentally braced o physically braced to deal with it.

Cos dude I have pretty much a first aid kit with me whenever I do anything remotely dangerous XD

Like I heard the bike breaks behind me screech like there was an accident turned around and was like "ARE te GUYS OKAY I GOT BANDAGES AND SUPPLIES" postato più di un anno fa
JetBlack__ commentato…
I am so doing a meme of this xD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
^ 👌 !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I was most definately not almost late for class despite being there 20 minuti early because I got too into checking out the birds and psychology libri in the bookstore across the strada, via from my class postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me @ My Brain: Make serotonin and dopamine te lazy fucker postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly it feels like I missed three consecutive days of anxiety medicine and while my ability to remember to take medicine the past week has been bad, I do not think I missed three days.

Cause apparently if I miss three days in a row it resets o something and thus I never missed three days in a row since I started taking it like... a anno and a half fa postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its honestly been a while since Ive been in a point of instability and my mind messing with itself that I have so strongly marked a giorno to 'survive' with it to. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Like this is all minor compared to before and its pretty bad so like.... serious props to younger me più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
She was a beast to deal with all this più di un anno fa
JetBlack__ detto …
When te own a Cockatoo someday name it Riku xD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Why XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Im honestly not cut out for living with people other than like.... birds and maybe my boyfriend. I could probably also manage living with my PTSD best friend, but unless Im really bonded and/or really really trust them and are comfortable around them, it takes a huge toll on me in the long run

And things get really hard to manage when Im not fully stable because the small things trigger things to start again that I just have to keep to myself and it greatly slows down recovering. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cause unless its someone I trust and am comfortable with, I get easily set off when Im not fully stable and I know its usually ridiculous and overresponsive due to being unstable and just end up having to keep it to myself più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
But honestly I cant wait to get my own studio. I can handle things so much easier that way. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
I Amore my roommates and they are great people but I dont think its that good for me and all più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE UNREQUITED Amore ROUTES WORSE THAN THE BAD ROUTES

UNREQUITED Amore SOUNDS LIKE THE MEDIUM ONE BUT IN EDO BLOSSOMS ITS THE WORST postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Okay so Okita and Hijikata are pretty neck in neck relatable più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I decided that after I finish Okitas route Imma take a break and watch Happy Sugar Love. Ive been wanting to watch it for a while and just remembered it now that its finished XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Maybe not actualyl Ill see XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Id probably think Im some Tumblr self diagnoser with all the diagnoses I have but I really dont bring up most of them :v Im actually really shy about askign about them cause I dont wanna be a self diagnoser to the point my first therapist knew I had PTSD for a while but it technically wasnt official for over a anno XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
And Im pretty casual with them cause its just a label, something to look into and understand and reflect on, and somethign to aid in planning further recovery progress più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Ooof. Apparently the new trumpet section leader this anno in my old highschool band is hospitalized with a collapsed lung and he has a solo for the fieldshow that no one can replace postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
.... tfw your preferito college professor has a lot of negative "Rate My Professor" ratings despite him being literally one of the best public speakers and most engaging teachers???

And its not only me. Like everyone who sits around me also agrees??? postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
How the fuck XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Imma give him five stars when I finish the class cos tbh sometimes I just go to his class for the energy and engagement in the class. Hes a wonderful lecturer and its a good escape from life for a bit XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly glad I have chickens this morning for lab cause my brain is being fucking retarded cause yesterday was long and a bit problematic plus I got half the amount of sleep I usually do >.> postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Starting therapy again after 3 months off and shit is messing with my mind a bit :v più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
She was such a precious hen più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also Okita is too relatable too XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me: I shoudl actually get a referral for psychiatry before I come close to running out of medication and risk having to go over three days without it. Imma go get that appointment

Me: *goes to the health website*

Website: We have these appointments tomorrow. If they dont work, contact this number for assistance

Me: O-O HOLY SHIT te DONT HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK PLUS FOR A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT? IS THIS WHAT NOT SUPER SHITTY MEDICAL SERVICE IS?! postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
#DowntownDavisDay postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I miss my better half XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
My mentally-healthy lifestyle is harder to manage without him XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cause honestly Im actually like.... 5x più efficient with my time and più productive and più active. I actually study a bit, Im ahead on my homework, and I work well on my projects of interests because I dont spend time just laying down doing nothing o napping o taking pointless walks o other things that are otherwise considered inefficient usage of time più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Personally I just dont have much of anything better to do XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Bro I need to chill XD

I mean I know I did most of my homework today that I had to do tomorrow so I can make Thursday an almost free day

But like... When I suggest we play something casual and shit like Sims again

Dont go off and be like "Nah we could work on developing characters more" and almost start doing it when te have a damn headache XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me: *explaining to my innocent roommate about THAT corner of tumblr*

Her: Doesnt it trigger te ever?

Me: It actually has in the past but yeah

Conversation: *turns to topic of she who should not be mention*

Me: ha..hahah....ha. No brain lets not get like this postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Cntrl Alt cancella that. I do not need to think about it XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Roommate: Do te ever write down your feelings o anything?

Me: Do te want to see what it looked like when I did?

Roommate: .... with how te detto that, Im honestly scared and will decide to pass on that. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Boi between TwinkleStar mentioning it and Okita's route, Im really remembering how bloodthirsty I used to get when I was really emotionally and mentally unstable. postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Honestly as much of a shitty developer that YandereDev is, he hired a good person to create a good theme for the Delinquents and I really honestly Amore the theme for its composition and shit postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
:vvv That feeling when te go to sleep and 20 minuti later your trumpet chat has one of those great night time random bullshit discussions and now te wish te didnt sleep :v XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Also my new therapist feels OCPD is a più fitting diagnosis than OCD (excluding the fact Trichotillomania is a subtype of OCD) postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
To be honest might look più into it and discuss it più with him at some point but I lowkey dont want to accept it XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
If I do have it (cause we barely talked about it in the run through of who I am on the first meeting) but I dont want to add one più general branch of disorders to my lista XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Imma be sad is I become an even larger ball of mental health XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
:3 I served as a pivot point for moving my roommate's giorno from depressive as fuck to good again :3

It did cost my Hakuoki time I had scheduled but its nice to see I could help.

Shes now talking to her aunt about stuff and inoltrare, avanti planning and thats good :3 postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Me: Well shit having trouble sleeping

Me: I guess Ill just do the entire week's worth of Econ homework ahead postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Homework shouldnt be as calming as it is XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
My brain was keeping awake festering on dumb anxieties so I just fed it something else to think about and be busy with XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
BTW GAD is short for Generalized Anxiety Disorder più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I relate to Okita's Tuberculosis rn with how bad my lungs got fucked up da my cold XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
Personally I feel that the older te get, the larger the responsibility it should be for te to provide for the younger generations. Not necessarily so strictly as said, but its part of what makes humans special. We are so capable at passing down information for years to come.

Its the responsibility of older members of society to provide as much learning experience to their youngers so progress can keep moving and everyone's life in net can be easier postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
In that way, its an older person's responsibility to guide and help the younger people as much as they can because as someone who is older, te have a higher ability to be stable and have learned how to manage your own life. On the other hand, kids to young adults are shakey on it and just a little aid in that struggle can leave a large impact più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Its a bit why Im always a mother that adopts younger people a lot to be honest. I may only be a anno o two older often, but everyone could use a "big sister" "big brother" o "parent" and such a relationship dynamic can help a lot. più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
And Im not saying responsibility like I usually do where its something I know is probably toxic and I feel I have to. I think its just a good rule of thumb. We ourselves might not have our lives together, but più often than not, I feel they are più Lost in life. Some might not have faced the major things like money, work, and all, but if te think about it, a little kid loosing his preferito toy is super distressing and that in itself is something weve learned to handle and thus its our responsibility to help them and guide them in their way più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
Amen to that !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I think I succeeded in taking a break today postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
Mainly because my dormmates were out pretty much all giorno and thus I was able to finally have a giorno to just relax and all so its KINDA cheating, but fuck I did it XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
So I didnt really overcome my mental health obstacles and stuff like I wanted and what would normally be the situation, but I did at the very least complete the task of giving my brain a break and taking a giorno to just relax XD più di un anno fa
TheLefteris24 commentato…
A cookie has been earned !!!! più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
YEp Souji shows potential for beign relatable too as I expected XD Im starting his route now postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
I honestly Amore my boyfriend and how much he accepts my weirdness and bullshit XD He literally just openly accepted and went along with me calling him "my uke" XD postato più di un anno fa
Riku114 commentato…
He is quite honestly just everything I could ever want in a partner and stuff I didnt think were necessarily even possible to actually find XD più di un anno fa
Riku114 detto …
BFRBs + Athletes foot REALLY isnt a good combo XD postato più di un anno fa