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 Lemons ... get it?
Lemons ... get it?
I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).


This is a little graphic for those of te who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)



1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous

2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy

3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling

4. Edward has a temper

5. Though there are no Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL

6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile

7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella

8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them

9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)

10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 secondi after seeing Bella only bite her lip

11. Tanya is a bitch

12. Rose is the coolest badass ever

13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere

14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re Leggere a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: o Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]

15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story o a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I Amore you” before sex

16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 secondi before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids

17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella Barbie and always takes her shopping against her will

18. No matter how long the story is o what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips

19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her da Alice o Rose

20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with Musica and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits

21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon

22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.

23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick

24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.

25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah

26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme

27. They always rip condoms with their teeth

28. At one time o another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”

29. The autore will almost always sneak in at least one book o movie quote

30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out da Edward watching her sleep
Chapter 5: Everything is in black and gray.
Renesmee’s family were scattered around the room, looking at ease. Her parent’s faces brightened as soon as she walked in and her mum rose out of her father’s arm and danced towards her to give Renesmee a hug. She saw her wrinkle her nose as she pulled away.
“Not my fault,” Renesmee muttered to herself. They all laughed and Alice danced towards her, pulling on her hand. She sat Renesmee down on the couch, curling her legs under her. Her mum fell back into her father’s lap on the floor and he kissed her cheek.
“So te probably are wondering...
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posted by shelly_fanpire
Edward POV

I cant wait for the night, Im going to ask Bella to sposta in with me.
I want to live with her....

[b]at the night[b]

Bella POV

Where is he why isnt he coming. and Chalie is not home yet. what happened?
I heard the door open and I run to the door.
"Edward...." It was Charlie
"ow fieno dad" he didnt look at me he was looking down.
"dad? is everything ok?" he looked up at me.
"Im sorry i came late" I was confused.
"dad its ok, te dont have to be like that cuz te came later" he looked down again.
"dad whats wrong? tell me"
"Bella. there was a car excident"
"ok"
"its Edward. he was in the car that got...
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Jacob's POV

Renesme lay asleep in the hospital letto successivo to me. Me and Bella took her to the hospital, a little after she threw up 3 times. I rested my hand on her forehead stroking her beutifual pale face. Her eyelash's fluttered, then her eyes slowly inched open. "Mmm? Jacob...?" She faintly asked. "Yeah, babe?" "....I Amore you" She smiled touched my face with her small hand, reached up and pecked me on my lips. Then she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

7:28 P.M Renesme's POV
"Ah, Miss renesme, so nice to see te all grown up!" Chimed Jane. "Huh? Who are...you?" I asked quitley. "Jane, member...
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posted by uniquezandy
Alecs POV
Life was the same. Guarding, the Volturi castello was boring. All of us were gathered in the living room.(the one with vivd colurs, expensive electrics and really comfrtable chairs). It was quiet and peacful, until.. "Aaagh!" Screamed my dear sister. Oh no.
This can't be good.
"This is an outrage! Volturi listen up. The Cu.. Cul.. I can't say it with out wanting the desire to kill.!" She screeched. Most of us were confused; but I knew my sister better than anyone. "You mean the Cullens sister?" I questioned. "Yes! They are all coming for a visit. They will be staying here for 3 years!"...
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posted by karlygirl26
Hi my name is Karly and I am new to Scrivere on here. I hope te like this. My cousin inspired me to write and post a story on her. It’s a different story. te can leave positive o negative commenti I don’t mind. But please do commento and tell me what te think and what needs to be fixed in my story.
    ~Thanks a bunch. Karly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 1) The Unexpected

The campana, bell rang making me jump out of my sede, sedile and come out of my thinking. I blinked a few times and went to gather my things off the tavolo but he already had everything in...
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That is a not easy choice for Bella,espically face Edward and Jacob.
Edward is like an antiquated and gentlest brand,such as link.
But Jacob,who is new arisen,just like link.
That is really a difficult choice for Bella.
Feeling?Emotion?What is the measurement?
Woman is very strange,includig Bella.They want to be loved,and want a happy ending with her prince.Eactly,that person should be everyone's prince.
To go along with feeling is not always right.
May be we could know what is her finally choice in the ending.
posted by DWLoverTBCEDT
AU: I own a Cullen Crest wristband, and necklace, and a Team Edward bracelet. Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight. If I did there would have been a lot più Edward and a lot less Jacob. Kinda this chapter. As I promised, Edward. Have fun. Huge thanks to state of delusion for fixing my mistakes.

Chapter 3

Spiraling


I'm waiting for my moment to come,

I'm waiting for the movie to begin,

I waiting for a revelation,

I'm waiting for someone to count me in.

'Cause now I only see my dreams, in everything I touch,

Feel their cold hands on everything that I Love.

Cold like some magnificent skyline,

Out of my reach...
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posted by runlikeawolf
"Flight 16 is about to land.Please fasten your seatbelts,"a voice rang.I opened my eyes.It took me a minuto to recognise my surroundings.The memories of the wedding flooded back into my mind.I was about to find out where Jake and I were going for our honeymoon."Good morning sleepyhead,"Jake said."Or should I say,good afternoon.I thought that flight would never end!"
I sat up and smiled."Well,at least we're about to land.I still don't see why te couldn't tell me where we're going."
He smiled,too."It was supposed to be a surprise."Just then,the pilot's voice rang out."I repeat.Flight 16 for...
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7:00 AM
Renesme's eyes slowly opened, she looked around her room, Her eyes set lock on something on her desk. She threw the covers off her and got up. Once she reached the scrivania, reception the gasped and laughed a little. It was a plush russet red wolf, It had a tag on it saying: Renesme, This is for you, Amore ya-Jacob She picked it up and squeezed it inhaling the strong sweet smell of her lover. Then she proceeded to put it down and take a hot shower, after she brushed her hair and Threw on A brown sweater and some jeans. Lightly she walked down stairs hoping not to wake her parents. She got out eggs,...
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posted by Angelcatz11
Renesme's POV

After hours of weeping, I stopped walked over to my dresser and threw a maroon giacca on, I then put my hair up with a rubber-band knowing it would hurt my hair later. I was going to sneak out, I slipped on some Converse and made some recordings on my laptop, So if mom o dad try to come in I would have something recorded. I had 5 recordings set. 1: "No thanks" 2:Go away!" 3: I dont want to talk right now sorry" 4: Im not hungry. 5:I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. It was pretty corny but eh what else can I do? I thought. When i was all done I slipped out my window and jumped to the ground. When I was sure no one was watching I dashed off in the direction of Alice's house.
Jacob pov

What did the vamp want now?god couldn't he ever get leave anything that happened alone?I heard him laugh stay out of my head I thought hoping he would listen. Once we where outside I deside to ask"what the he'll do want?"spite in his face"well I was just going warn te about something"he detto now what was this about?"about Nahuel"he detto which made me hiss god did I hate Nahuel."easy"Edward wound me"what about him"I ask once I was settled down" he in Amore with renesmee" he told me.now I just want to kill him. "easy"he told me again.that was what made me notice that I was thinking...
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AN: Alright, welcome back to my crazy world. I own a valentine card with Edward on it. Does this mean I own Edward? No, Meyer calms all. I'm just playing with them a bit. As always much thanks go out to state of delusion for making this readable. Okay have fun.

Chapter 2

I am the Walrus


Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.

If the sun don't come, you'll get a tan

From standing in the rain.

-The Beatles


"Alice!" I called into the sitting room. "I can't find my red and oro earrings, the ones with the Spanish rose embossed on them. Do te know where they are?"

"They're in the black velvet...
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posted by runlikeawolf
"All right,that should be everyone!"Alice sang.Jake and I were in her room.We had just finished addressing the enormous stacks of envelopes."It's a good thing I heal quickly,"Jake said.I shoved his arm."Come on,"I lied."It wasn't that bad!"He laughed."Yeah.I'll only need another fifteen hours for my hand to heal."
Alice interupted."All right te two,Jacob,get out.I need to mostra Nessie something.She shoved him to the door."All right,all right!I'm going!Sheesh!"Once he was out,Alice zoomed to her gigantic closet and pulled out a large plastic bag."Oh,my gosh!"I said."Is that...?"
"Yep,your wedding...
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posted by acharmingplace
link is Massive Events' sixth 3-day unofficial convention to celebrate the world bestseller book series da autore Stephenie Meyer, 'Twilight' and the series of films just wrapping filming! This event will be held from Friday 21st - Sunday 23rd of October 2011. This unofficial convention aims to bring together fan of the libri and Film from all across the world to meet some the stars of the films and enjoy various events over the weekend. There will be activities each giorno from the usual guest talks and photograph sessions to quiz and late night themed parties!! For più information on these, check out our events section. This event will take place in The Hilton Metropole Birmingham NEC for più information on this venue and room rates see our venue page.

View our link for the latest news on guests and con info.
don't te ever wonder what your life would be like if your boyfriend was a vampire? i do every giorno there are a few things that i know for sure:

1. they will never get old.
even when te are thirty they will still look young.

2. they will never cheat on you.
It is to risky for them to cheat on te because te know there big secrete that they are vampires!

3. they will be able to defend te and protect te for ever.
no one could ever touch te o hurt te again he could defend te from all danger.

reads successivo months for the downsides of having a vampire boyfriend.
posted by runlikeawolf
I was running.Pounding through the trees of Forks that I knew so well.I had only one objective in my mind right now,and that was to kill the bloodthirsty monster streaking through the trees ahead of me.The plan was to drive her to Quil and Paul who were waiting about a mile off.
As she streaked through the trees,I thought about the giorno that we all found out what she wanted.Bella.She would never touch her!Nothing could touch Bella.I couldn't let that happen!
The truth was,I loved Bella.She was the only thing worth living for.Without her,I would be just your normal,depressed,teenage werewolf!The...
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posted by uniquezandy
Bella's POV
I didn't know what to do o think. Me and Edward, was taken out the room da Marie-louise. She knelt down and explained things. "Hey listen, te two are sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza ok? I promice to take care of you." She whispered soothing words. Suddenly, the scariness went away. After a few minutes, she lead us to a room. It was massive! It had a bunk bed, tv and everything. "Welcome to your new room. te two will be sharing it." She detto with a happy expression on her face. Both our eyes lit up like a Natale tree. I was excited, so I grabbed Edwards hand and ran round the room with him. We were jumping...
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posted by anna_tvd
It's a worldwide dibattito that happens every single day: Edward o Jacob?

I wish I could pick a side. I am strongly on the fence about this one. Edward, the beautiful, sparkly, loving vampire o Jacob, the hot, restless, young werewolf. Seriously, are we supposed to pick?

To help myself (and probably a lot of you), I have decided to compare the options. Please, read, and tell me after you're done if te can decide either.

Edward- He cares. Though it sounds cliche, it's true. He would do anything ever at any time ever to protect Bella. He nearly killed himself once while in the process. So, yes,...
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posted by DarkStranger
BPOV
He is officially my hero. No one ever detto something back to MR.Banner. Ever. He liked to insult his students a lot, and I was used to it.. Okay, no I wasn't but I tried to ignore him like I haven;t heard o saw how he looks at me o talk. But what Edward did today was mind blowing. It was so wrong and so good in the same time that I didn't know what should I do when I'll see him in the director cabinet. Slap him o applause.
I didn't know why I was going to that cabinet at all. I didn't start this fight, I didn't even know why Edward was so mad at Barner so much. Is he was mad because...
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"Twilight" stella, star Robert Pattinson thinks co-star Kristen Stewart is a natural at playing a vampire in "Breaking Dawn."

Kristen Stewart, who is Robert Pattinson's rumored girlfriend, finally gets to unisciti the Cullen clan and do a little fighting of her own in the highly anticipated final installments of the "Twilight Saga," and Rob thinks she's doing a great job.

Pattinson, who stepped out at Sunday nights Golden Globe Awards looking as handsome as ever, told MTV that the vibe on set is different when Kristen is a vampire.

While fan can't wait to see Stewart as a blood sucking vampire, the wait will be a long one. The first installment of "Breaking Dawn" isn't set to hit theaters until November, with the part two following one anno later. Hopefully più foto and inside looks at the movie will be released to the "Twilight" hungry fans, who just can't seem to get enough of the vampire series.