Medley: (Touching Link’s hair)
Link: Will te stop that
Medley: But I can’t help it
Link: Well, te better try and help it, otherwise, I’ll cut off your head
Tetra: No te won’t
Link: (Angrily) No I won’t
(Later, at Forest Haven)
Link: Oh, not these annoying hippy bastards
Tetra: Oh, they can’t be that ba-
Great Deku Tree: Oh, Link, it is good to see te again
Tetra: AHH
Link: Told you
Great Deku Tree: Calm down, little one, no need to wor-
Tetra: Stay the fuck away from me, te creep
Great Deku Tree: Goodness you’re rude.
Link: Yeah, try having her drag te around like a dog.
Great Deku Tree: Well, anyway, Link, I need te to take this bottle of water
Link: Okay.
Great Deku Tree: Get into your boat.
Link: Got it
Great Deku Tree: Then travel to eight different islands
Link: Wait, what.
Great Deku Tree: Pour the water onto eight different trees
Link: What.
Great Deku Tree: Before the water dries out in twenty minutes.
Link: Are te fucking serious.
Great Deku Tree: (Happily) Yes, I am fucking serious.
Link: That ship can barely get to one island in an hour.
Great Deku Tree: That is none of my concern. Now, get out of here and get to work.
Link: Motherfu-
(Later, at a smaller island)
Link: Goddamn, we only have one last island left, and we still have five minuti left. I think we’ll make it (Notices there is no way towards the other side of the island but to fight off monster, and jump across platforms) Fuck. My. LIFE.
(A few minuti later)
Link: (To Korko) Okay, here is the damn water
Korok: OUR PEOPLE WILL RULE OVER te PATHETIC HUMANS
Link: Fantastic. (Pours water on tree, but nothing happens) Was that supposed to do something
Korok: THIS IS HUMAN WATER! IT IS INEFFECTIVE!
Link: WHAT! You’re telling me that I just went through all that shit, and now, I have to go through all that shit again.
Korok: YES!
Link: MOTHERFU-
Medley: (Flies by) Link?
Link: WHAT?!
Medley: I got te another bottle full of Forest Water, so that way, te won’t have to go through all that again.
Link: What, te really did this? Why? I mean, I do treat te like crap, and I do try to kill te in your sleep ever since tetra invited te onto the ship. Why would te help me.
Medley: Because, I Amore you, Link. Sure, I do smell your hair, and I do try to chain te up to the bacheca to make te mine forever, but, I do care about you.
Link: … Well, I guess I could-
Korok: WATER! POUR ONTO TREE! NOW!
Link: Okay, fuck (Pours water onto tree, making it grow)
Tree: HA HA HA! THANK YOU, PATHETIC HUMAN! NOW, US albero PEOPLE WILL RULE THIS WORLD! TAKE THIS AS A SIGN OF OUR GRATITUDE! CHARISHE IT WITH WHAT LITTLE TIME te HAVE, HUMAN! (Spits out two hundred rupees)
Link: (Not Caring) Hooray
(Later, on the ship)
Medley: So, Link, do te care about me now.
Link: Medley… I hate everyone alive. I could create massive genocide, and the deaths of millions wouldn’t affect me. I could chuck a brick at a newborn baby, and wouldn’t feel sympathy for it. Same goes for anyone.
Medley: Oh…..
Link: But, I guess I do have some respect for you, Medley… Do know that it is little. Still, it’s più respect than I have for anyone.
Medley: (Happily) Okay, I’ll take that. Does that mean we can have sex now
Link: Still not gonna happen. Not a chance in hell I will commit bestiality just because I respect you.
Medley: Can I at least feel your hair.
Link: Fine
Medley: (Feels his hair, moaning with pleasure)
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: Will te stop that
Medley: But I can’t help it
Link: Well, te better try and help it, otherwise, I’ll cut off your head
Tetra: No te won’t
Link: (Angrily) No I won’t
(Later, at Forest Haven)
Link: Oh, not these annoying hippy bastards
Tetra: Oh, they can’t be that ba-
Great Deku Tree: Oh, Link, it is good to see te again
Tetra: AHH
Link: Told you
Great Deku Tree: Calm down, little one, no need to wor-
Tetra: Stay the fuck away from me, te creep
Great Deku Tree: Goodness you’re rude.
Link: Yeah, try having her drag te around like a dog.
Great Deku Tree: Well, anyway, Link, I need te to take this bottle of water
Link: Okay.
Great Deku Tree: Get into your boat.
Link: Got it
Great Deku Tree: Then travel to eight different islands
Link: Wait, what.
Great Deku Tree: Pour the water onto eight different trees
Link: What.
Great Deku Tree: Before the water dries out in twenty minutes.
Link: Are te fucking serious.
Great Deku Tree: (Happily) Yes, I am fucking serious.
Link: That ship can barely get to one island in an hour.
Great Deku Tree: That is none of my concern. Now, get out of here and get to work.
Link: Motherfu-
(Later, at a smaller island)
Link: Goddamn, we only have one last island left, and we still have five minuti left. I think we’ll make it (Notices there is no way towards the other side of the island but to fight off monster, and jump across platforms) Fuck. My. LIFE.
(A few minuti later)
Link: (To Korko) Okay, here is the damn water
Korok: OUR PEOPLE WILL RULE OVER te PATHETIC HUMANS
Link: Fantastic. (Pours water on tree, but nothing happens) Was that supposed to do something
Korok: THIS IS HUMAN WATER! IT IS INEFFECTIVE!
Link: WHAT! You’re telling me that I just went through all that shit, and now, I have to go through all that shit again.
Korok: YES!
Link: MOTHERFU-
Medley: (Flies by) Link?
Link: WHAT?!
Medley: I got te another bottle full of Forest Water, so that way, te won’t have to go through all that again.
Link: What, te really did this? Why? I mean, I do treat te like crap, and I do try to kill te in your sleep ever since tetra invited te onto the ship. Why would te help me.
Medley: Because, I Amore you, Link. Sure, I do smell your hair, and I do try to chain te up to the bacheca to make te mine forever, but, I do care about you.
Link: … Well, I guess I could-
Korok: WATER! POUR ONTO TREE! NOW!
Link: Okay, fuck (Pours water onto tree, making it grow)
Tree: HA HA HA! THANK YOU, PATHETIC HUMAN! NOW, US albero PEOPLE WILL RULE THIS WORLD! TAKE THIS AS A SIGN OF OUR GRATITUDE! CHARISHE IT WITH WHAT LITTLE TIME te HAVE, HUMAN! (Spits out two hundred rupees)
Link: (Not Caring) Hooray
(Later, on the ship)
Medley: So, Link, do te care about me now.
Link: Medley… I hate everyone alive. I could create massive genocide, and the deaths of millions wouldn’t affect me. I could chuck a brick at a newborn baby, and wouldn’t feel sympathy for it. Same goes for anyone.
Medley: Oh…..
Link: But, I guess I do have some respect for you, Medley… Do know that it is little. Still, it’s più respect than I have for anyone.
Medley: (Happily) Okay, I’ll take that. Does that mean we can have sex now
Link: Still not gonna happen. Not a chance in hell I will commit bestiality just because I respect you.
Medley: Can I at least feel your hair.
Link: Fine
Medley: (Feels his hair, moaning with pleasure)
TO BE CONTINUED
It'll be way easier to write this in script form.. I obviously wasn't getting anywhere Scrivere it the other way.
Joe: te screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., te detto that several times now..
Joe: te killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would te want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are te serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are te braindead o something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would te want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE te KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill te straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the culla and the silver spoon"
Joe: te screwed up asshole!
Rick: Yes, yes., te detto that several times now..
Joe: te killed our friend, now were kill YOU!
Rick: Why would te want to kill me?
Joe: ... A -Are te serious.. I literary JUST explained it.
Rick: Explained what?
Joe: ... Are te braindead o something?
Rick: ... Who's braindead? Is he a friend of yours?
Joe: Shut up!.. I'll shoot your brains out.
Rick: That's horrible. Why would te want to kill me?
Joe: (screaming) BECAUSE te KILLED OUR FUCKIN FRIEND!
Rick: WHEN!?
Joe: In the house, idiot!
Rick: What house!?
Joe: Just shut and listen!... I won't kill te straight away! First were beat Daryl to death.. Then the girl... Then were shoot and be square.
Rick: (singing in head) "And the cat's in the culla and the silver spoon"