13: Within You

“Well, I had better turn in” Tristan said, standing from his chair. “Now, we have eight bedrooms and two bathrooms, feel free to help yourself.”
“Why so many if only te require sleep?”
“Sometimes, these boys need to be separated and they can do that da taking off o holing up in one of the rooms until they have cooled off. Well, night.” They all bid him a good night and Alice stood.
“I’m going to change” she said, eyeing Rose, still sitting successivo to Jack.
“Me too” she finally said, standing reluctantly, not wanting to leave him.
<Go. I’ll be right here waiting.>
She smiled at him and he smiled back, again leaving her breathless. The two walked to the back, following the way Tristan had gone and sure enough the further they walked, the wider the walls became, five doors on each side, several inches apart. They noted that above four doors stood a single letter: D for the first one on the left, M for the third one on the right, J for the third on the left, and T for the fourth on the left. The secondo doors on both the left and right had B’s over them. Alice stepped inside the one on the right, Rosalie on the left.
Inside was a standard bathroom: a single sink, a doccia behind it, to the left a toilet. She gripped the granite counters and looked at herself in the mirror. For once, what she saw looking back was not beautiful. Those feelings of guilt had worked their way into her mind and she closed her eyes and saw his face over and over again. His goofy grin, his curly hair, his dimples…
NO!
STOP!
She wasn’t quite sure where this came from nor was she sure if she should shut it off o egg it on more. While half of her ached at what she had lost, the other half rejoiced at having found what she thought she had Lost for good: her one true love.
She removed her clothes-sweat suit with a black tank underneath-and changed into a pair of tight fitting jeans and black top. She slowly brushed out her hair and let it flow freely behind her back. After a slight touch-up on her make-up, she came out and walked out to the front of the carriage. She frowns as she notes that Jack isn’t there.
Before she can ask, David says “he went to his room. He detto he needed to be alone for a while.”
She manages a weak “oh” and sits successivo to him. He smiles at her and she does back. She realizes that they mirror each other’s.
<Talk to him. That’s why I left.>
“So, te went to Princeton?”
He set his book successivo to him and nodded. “Yes. Like Michael detto though, only for a year.”
“Still a big deal.”
He nodded nonchalantly. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“What did te study?”
Michael snorted. “You don’t have to do this.”
She looked at him. “Do what, exactly?”
“Act like te care.”
“Who detto I didn’t?”
“Just stop. You’re not a martyr, never were, never will be.” He walked outside the carriage and took off into the late night.
“What was that?” she asked David, still looking at the entrance.
“He’s just angry. Don’t take it personally.” He gave her a reassuring smile and she returned it. “English, to answer your earlier question.”
<That’s my fault.>
She smiled and detto “English? What would te have done with your degree?”
“Teach. I really enjoyed learning and wanted to mostra others the beauty in literature.”
<Now that’s your fault.>
<Laughs.>
“So, why haven’t te turned mortal again? Then te could do anything.”
He nodded. “True. Very true. I would have but circumstances in my life happened and I just decided to stay this way.”
He picked up Great Expectations again. “That Jack’s?”
“Yes. We switch out our literature all the time. Most of all, I enjoy his poetry-even if it is all about you.”
“I’d doubt that.”
“Hair brighter than the sun, face like an Angel from heaven above, smile that lights up a room, chases away my gloom, eyes as blue as the sky, how hard my cuore beats every time they meet mine, she is perfection in every way, warms me più than a sunlight’s ray, she is the fuoco in my heart, she is the keeper of my heart, she is mine, mine for all time. Nah, that’s not about you.” He winked and looked down at the book.
She sat in stunned silence, while David read on and Alice finally came back from the restroom. She sat across from them but her eyes detto one thing: who would she chose? She looked away from her, knowing that she would never know that whatever decision she made would haunt her forever.
She stood and walked down the hall, stopping just before the door that had the J above it. She gently turned the knob and entered. The room was a neutral blue, calming, a black leather divano that was identical to the one they had sat on earlier was the only furniture in the room, subtract a well-used tronco in the far left corner. Jack himself leaned against the couch, his long legs clad in black jeans, a worn copy of Leaves of erba rested on his knees, a tight button-down flannel hugged his torso. She looked at him, this time letting the gaze hold as she detto “I…I don’t know what to do.”
He set the book down and she sat successivo to him. “I don’t expect anything from you. At least, not until you’ve healed and finished grieving.”
She looked at him. “How…?”
“I heard you. I can hear people’s minds even when they are miles apart. Continents apart even.” She looked down, picking at the carpet. “Know that even if te leave me, I’ll be better for the time te have dato me now.”
“Will you?”
“Tis far better to have loved and Lost than to have never loved at all.”
She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, right.” She looked back up at him. “Do te want me?”
He looked right back, so much so she swore he was seeing her soul. “It’s not a want; it’s a need-always has been, always will be.” She kissed him once and he gently deepened it, her body entangling itself in his. Again, he stopped before she did. She ran her hands through his hair, then down his perfect porcellana, in porcellana face.
“I just don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide today.”
“Don’t I? Alice is ready to run, with o without me, and I…I am so lost.”
“Let’s uncomplicate it then.”
“If I became mortal, what would te do?”
He sighed deeply before answering “assuming te want me, I too would become mortal and we would live out our lives the way we were meant to-without our parents, without the rest of the world judging-just a plain, simple life.”
“If I chose to stay like this?”
“Again, assuming te want me, I would follow te wherever that may be. Either way, if te don’t want me, I will leave te be.”
She laughed, that beautiful laugh that made Jack sigh with euphoria. “Silly you. Don’t te know that of all the men in my life-well three anyways-it was always te that had my heart-then and now.”
“No, I didn’t.”
She looked at him. “Well, it is. te and only you. I’d sell my soul to have never been touched da another.”
“Sh. I would never let te do such a thing.”
Silence.
“Do te have your answer now?”
She looked at him and knew the answer-hadn’t she always? “Yes, I think I do.”