These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually detto in court, word for word, taken down and now published da court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are te sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your data of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were te in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: te forget? Can te give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight o thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband detto to te when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do te know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo o the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: te do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the successivo morning?
A: Did te actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were te present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the data of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were te doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: da death.
Q: And da whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can te describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, o a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have te performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
Q: What school did te go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do te recall the time that te examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the tavolo wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: Are te qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before te performed the autopsy, did te check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did te check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did te check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when te began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can te be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my scrivania, reception in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
