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1:

Saten, Derpy, Sword and Trixie are driving around in a stagecoach. Sword and Derpy are now engaged, as Sword is actually very loyal to her. Even if he doesn't always mostra it.

Saten (driving, with Trixie beside him the other two in the back): Who's excited for our trip to the supermarket, gang?!

Derpy: I am!

Sword: Me, too!

Trixie: Wowee!

Sword: I'm gonna buy freshly-sliced cold cuts from the deli counter.

Derpy: I'm gonna buy something chilly from the Frozen Cibo aisle.

(They pass da a Farmers Market)

Trixie: Hmm, "Farmers Market." I wonder what that's all about?

Saten: Pass. That's where the ''farmers''...
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#1:
Hines: Now listen, I'm just bored as te are.. But we're gonna all listen as this dork finishes his little useless yackedy yack yack.


#2:
Hines: WHAT!? IN THE NAME OF GOD!? JUST HAPPENED!?
Yomanshi: I don't think they were fooled coach.
Hines: Is that what te THINK Yomanshi!? Maybe that's because te decided to start standing in open territory!


#3:
Hines: STOP IT! o I WILL SET te ON FIRE!!


#4:
Hines: I swear to god in heaven I will turn your eyes into scrambled eggs.. DON'T ASK ME HOW!!


#5:
Hines: Out there.. Is our enemy.. The norwood, academy for deranged boys... And they.. Would like nothing...
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#1:
"I am honored to be the first CEO of a private corporation to become a member of the United Nations Security Council. Unfortunately, my appearance today has been clouded da a flurry of speculation that my company is developing a weapon of mass destruction which would be capable of targeting specific ethnic groups. I want to address these allegations head on. Are we developing such a weapon? No we are not. Because we've already developed it. But with all due respect, the United Nations is a relic from a different time when nations were unique in their ability to solve the world's problems....
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#1: BATHSHEBA/THE CONJURING:
Bathsheba Shermon is an evil evil person.
Her only interest is possessing innocent mothers forcing them to murder their youngest child and then kill themselves.
Doing so to anyone who steals her land (most times the people stealing it aren't aware of who it belongs to).
When the Warren family the Carolyn is targeted da most of the ghosts (though Bathsheba is only one who actually wishes them harm, the others are just the poor souls Bathsheba stole).
And she is eventually possessed da Bathsheba herself.
And tired murdering her youngest daughter.
But protagonists stop her....
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#1:
"[during a robbery] Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing! ON THE FLOOR! NOW!"


#2:
"I'm rich, I'm miserable.. I'm pretty average for this town"


#3:
"You twisted fuck! Your a dead man!"


#4:
"nothing.. I was just Lost in an old 80's movie montage"


#5:
"(sparing hostage) Forget a thousand things every dad pal... Why don't te make sure this one of them"


#6:
Jimmy De Santa: Hey, let's bounce.
Michael De Santa: Bounce? We're bouncing now? Is that what we're doing? Gesù fucking Christ.


#7:
Dr. Isiah Friedlander: Your...
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BEST OF ANDERSON:

Anderson: Please support the official release, te protestant fuckbucket.

Alucard: Well. Now that's over with. Let's go back to my place and eat my preferito cereal- (gets decapitacated)
Anderson: Now that that's over with, let's go to my place and eat my preferito cereal- (Sara's gone) AHH SON OF A PROSITION WHORE!
Anderson: Well. te know what time it is.. (Rape time)

Anderson: So what can I do for you, Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan... ah-who is also Italian?

Intergra: te do realise. This is a great violation of our agreement.
Anderson: Oh. And...
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#1:
AVGN: te know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your Nintendo Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking...
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#1:
Vaas: (shoots Grant in the throat).
Jason: (desperately tries to save him).
Vaas: (his voice is barely heard over Jason trying to save Grant) What, te want to run? Huh? te want to run, te want to disrespect me? te want to fuck with me? I mean, te come here, with your... with your pretty-boy face, right, and your pretty-boy phone, your dimwit brother, and te want to fuck with me. *You want to fuck with me.* I like that - no, I *respect* that. I'm gonna give te thirty seconds, and if the jungle doesn't eat te up alive... I will.
Jason: (realizes Grant is dead and looks at Vaas).
Vaas:...
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#1: ABRIDGED ALEXANDER ANDERSON:

The abridged version of Alexander Anderson is vastly different than his Anime counterpart. Like the original, he is a devoted servant of God. Unlike the original, he is ALSO shown to be downright insane. And speaks with an stereotypical Irish accent..



#2: ABRIDGED JAN VALENTINE:

This verison of Jan is almost exactly like his original counterpart. Who, itself, is very dark humored and comic relief, but also very disturbing and perverty. In this verison, he appears to "fuck anything that movies" as he says he'll skull fuck both sir ingeriga, and the...
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1:
Clay: Johnny ain't gonna be cool if your messing with her again.
Trevor: Oh really, let's ask him. (lifts foot) ciao cowboy? te mind that I fucked your old lady? Oh, what's that, te DON'T mind.. Wha- because your a dead man!? And the only scented part of te left is this little piece of brain! And the grizzle on the end of my boot! WELL THANK te VERY MUCH COWBOYYY!
Terry: BULLSHIT!
Trevor: Oh I LIKE IT, denial! That's the first part of the grieving process brothers. Now let's all hold hands.
Clay: THIS BETTER BE BULLSHIT! (they all ride off)
Trevor: Oh, where te guys going!? LET'S GO LADIES!...
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posted by Canada24
This one is all me.. I thought of more.. Could only think of 4.. But there good ones..


#1: ZORIN BLITZ - HELLSING:

So Zorin is the first villlain I personally HATE.. That's right, even più than Major.. It's hard for me to deeply hate villains. But there's something about this cagna that rubs me the wrong way. I was so excited to see her in action, and she's basically cheating. Fucking with your mind.. So yeah. She's number one for più "personal" reasons.. But even than, someone who makes Seras revist a memory like THAT, clearly dserved that fucked up death she got.. Honestly, even I...
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#1:
POST: I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
ME: Don't worry little lady. If your the kids first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay o a serial killer..


#2:
POST: I'm bored.. Somebody fuck be.
ME: I would, but te might cough on me, and I might catch your stupid.


#3:
POST: How do Christians reproduce, if they think sex is a sin, how do they have babies!?
ME: No, no, your mistaking Christians for temblr feminists., they consider te a rapist for "having a penis"


#4:
POST: Who trying to get me pregnant?...
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It's been a while sense I watched this show.. But I'll do what I remember.. Plus I know where too find it, if push comes too shove..

EPISODE 3:

In a bid to increase manpower following the devastating attack on Hellsing headquarters, da Jan and Luke Valentine. Walter recruits the mercenary group known as Wild Geese (lead da Pip)

 Pip
Pip


After being shown that Vampiri#From Dracula to Buffy... and all creatures of the night in between. do in fact exist (by using Seras as proof) Hellsing integrates them into Hellsing's security forces.

Integra receives information from Enrico Maxwell, the fanatical leader of Iscariot, that confirms her suspicions of Millennium's...
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It's hard to get a good sequel these days.

And this one is way better than the sequels to to Jaws and Insidious.

The first one is simple enough. Ethan Hawke plays a true crime novelist who discovers a box with a camera in it. The camera displays snuff films of family's being murdered in fashions that are labeled "jokingly" in the names.
The "joke names" come across as twisted and sadistic (and not in a good way).
Anyway, long story short.
Turns out a evil demon, named Bughuul is behind it all. and Bughuul decides to mess with Hawk's character for a while, da scaring the audience with various jump...
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#1:
PuttPutt: Be careful Pep, o we're cause an avalanche (sneezes, causing, well, an avalanche, and the path is blocked).
PBG: PUTT-PUTT! te HAD ONE JOB!!


#2:
Little boy in Skyrim: (sarcastically) Oh boy. Another wanderer here to lick my father's boots. Good job.
PBG: (kills the rude little boy) LEARN SOME MANNERS, KID!


#3:
PBG: So.. Were playing PuttPutt again.
PuttPutt: Hot ziggity.
PBG: Wow.. Where's the enthusiasm?.. But I guess after te repeat the same phrase enough times. It loses it's lester..
PBG: Anyway.. As PuttPutt, te find the zoo keeper, and, serprise, serprise.. It's in trouble.....
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added by windwakerguy430
video
added by Dreamtime
Before the story begins.
Is it such a sin?
For me to take what's mine, until the end of tiiime!?
We were più than friends!
Before the story ends!
And I will take what's mine!
Create what God would never design!

Our Amore had been so strong for far too long!
I was weak with fear that something would, go wrong!
Before the possibilities came true!
I took all possibility from you!

Almost laughed myself to tears!
(HA! HAHAHAHA!!)

Conjuring her deepest fears!
(COME HERE te FUCKIN BITCH!!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times!
(female scream)...
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added by Canada24