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posted by Pyjamarama
Sultan: Prince Ali Ababwa! Of course! I'm delighted to meet you.
[he shakes Aladdin's hand]
Sultan: This is my royal vizier, Jafar. He's delighted, too.
Jafar: [*very* dryly] Ecstatic.

[Iago is powering a mystic device da foot power]
Iago: With all due respect, Your Rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a *real* storm?
Jafar: Save your breath, Iago. Faster!
[he inserts the Sultan's ring into the superiore, in alto of the hourglass]
Iago: Yes, O Mighty Evil One!
[he pedals the device faster]

Jafar: How many times do I have to kill you, boy?

Genie: [turns into a cheerleader] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!
Jafar: te sssstay out of thissss!
Genie: [Weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he's our man; if he can't do it, GREAT!

Princess Jasmine: Father, I choose Prince Ali!
Jafar: Prince Ali left!
[shows Aladdin standing in the doorway to the balcony]
Aladdin: Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
Princess Jasmine: Prince Ali!
Iago: How in the he- Uh, awk!

Iago: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
Jafar: Now where were we? Ah, yes - abject humiliation!
[He zaps gelsomino and the Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him]
Jafar: Down, boy!
[He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat]
Jafar: Oh, Princess...
[lifts Jasmine's chin with his staff]
Jafar: There's someone I'm dying to introduce te to.
Aladdin: [Flying towards him on Carpet] Jafar! Get your hands off her!
Jafar: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as te know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality.
[brings Aladdin and gelsomino closer in the air]
Jafar: [to Jasmine] Yes, meet a blast from your past.
[to Aladdin]
Jafar: Whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it]
Iago: [mockingly] o should we say Aladdin?
Princess Jasmine: [shocked] Ali?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I tried to tell you... I just...
Jafar: [still singing] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin.
[turns Abu back to his normal self]
Jafar: Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me, his personality flaws, give me adequate cause, to send him packing on a one-way trip...
[sends Aladdin and Abu in a pillar, carpet flies in after them]
Jafar: so his prospects take a terminal dip, his assets frozen, the venue chosen, is the ends of the earth...
[sends the pillar in the air]
Jafar: Whoopeeeeeeeeee! So long!
Iago: Good bye, see ya!
Jafar: [sings] Ex-Prince Ahhh-liiiiiiiiiii!
[laughs maniacally]

Jafar: Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Iago: Oh, shut up, te moron!
Jafar: Don't tell ME to shut up!
Genie: Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out!
[flicks them into the distance]

Jafar: te are late.
Gazeem: A thousand apologies, O Patient One.

Jafar: You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.

Princess Jasmine: [to Jafar] At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am Queen, I will have the power to get rid of *you*.
Sultan: Well, now. That's nice. All settled then. Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business... Jasmine? Jasmine!
[the Sultan notices that gelsomino is running out of the room, and runs after her]
Jafar: [scowls in their direction] If only I had gotten that *lamp*!
Iago: [mocking Jasmine] "I will have the power to get rid of you." Dahhh! To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump, and his chump daughter, for the rest of our lives...
Jafar: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished. Or... beheaded.
Jafar, Iago: Ewwww.
Iago: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Jafar, what if *you* were the chump husband?
Jafar: What?
Iago: Okay, okay. *You* marry the princess, all right? And-and, uh, you- Then *you* become the sultan!
Jafar: Marry the shrew. I become sultan. The idea has merit.
Iago: Yes, merit. Yes! And then, we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff.
[he dives off Jafar's staff headfirst, then hits the ground]
Iago: "Yaaaaaaaaah - ker-splat!"
Jafar: [laughs] I Amore the way your *foul* little mind works!

Jafar: [disguised as prisoner] You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the oro makes the rules.
[smiles mostrare his hideous teeth]

Aladdin: Are te afraid to fight me yourself, te cowardly snake?
Jafar: A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how sss-snake-like I can beeeeeee!
[he changes into one, and his voice changes with it, too]

Iago: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one più of those moldy, disgusting crackers... Bam! Whack!
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago.
Iago: And then I'd grab him around the head. Whack, whack!
Jafar: Soon *I* will be sultan, not that addlepated twit.
Iago: And then *I* stuff the crackers down *his* throat. Ha-ha...

Jafar: te little fool. te thought te could defeat the most powerful being on Earth!
Iago: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a...
[the Genie slaps Iago into the air]
Jafar: Without the genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin: The genie. The genie! The genie has più power than you'll ever have.
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: He *gave* te your power. He can take it away.
Genie: Al, what are te doing? Why are te bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just... second-best.
Jafar: [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
[descends toward the Genie and circles him]
Genie: The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk. One too many hits with the snake.
Jafar: Slave, I make my third wish. I wish to be an all-powerful genie!
Genie: All right. Your wish is my command.
[sarcastically]
Genie: Way to go, Al.

Jafar: [hypnotizing the Sultan with his snake staff] te will order the Princess to marry me.
Sultan: [hypnotized] I will order the Princess to...
[suddenly breaks out of the trance]
Sultan: But you're so *old*!
Jafar: [shoving his staff into the Sultan's face again] The Princess WILL marry meeeeee!

Jafar: Sire, I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?
Aladdin: Your Majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa. Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter.
Princess Jasmine: How dare you? All of you! Standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!

Jafar: Patience Iago, patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.
Iago: Oh, there's a big surprise! That's an incredible - I think I'm going to have a cuore attack and die of not surprise!

Jafar: Just where did te say te were from?
Aladdin: Oh, uh-uh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure.
Jafar: Try me.

Aladdin: [hanging from the entrance of the Cave of Wonders] Help me out!
Jafar: Throw me the lamp!
Aladdin: I can't hold on! Give me your hand!
Jafar: First give me the lamp!
[Aladdin draws the lamp and Jafar reaches down to snatch it from him]
Jafar: [laughs triumphantly] Yeeees! At laaaaaaaaast!
[Grabs Aladdin's wrist]
Aladdin: What are te doing?
Jafar: Giving te your reward.
[pulls out a dagger]
Jafar: Your eternal reward!
[Jafar is about to stab Aladdin when Abu bites him, forcing him to drop the dagger; He throws Abu and Aladdin in just as the Cave closes]
Jafar: [chuckles] It's mine!
[tears way his beard]
Jafar: It's all mine!
[searches for the lamp, but can't find it]
Jafar: I... where is it? No. Noooooooooo!

Jafar: I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Abubu.

Genie: [Jafar releases Genie] te know, Al, I'm getting really...
[noticing Jafar]
Genie: I don't think you're him.
[reading a script]
Genie: Tonight the part of Al will be played da a tall, dark, and sinister ugly man.
Jafar: I am you're master now!
[crushes the Genie with his foot]
Genie: [muffled] I was afraid of that.
Jafar: Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high as *Sultan*!

Sultan: [offering it laughing to Iago who is recitazione as a common parrot] Have a cracker, pretty Polly.
Jafar: [laughs] Your Majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals.

[Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a più powerful genie than Genie]
Jafar: The universe is mine to command! To control!
Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't te forgetting something?
Jafar: Huh?
Aladdin: te want to be a genie? te got it!
[cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: And everything that goes with it!
[Aladdin shows the black genie lamp that sucks Jafar in]
Jafar: NO! NO!
Aladdin: I'm getting out of here!
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]
Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers...
[Jafar and Iago get sucked into the lamp]
Aladdin: ...itty-bitty living space.

[Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a più powerful genie than Genie]
Jafar: The universe is mine to command! To control!
Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't te forgetting something?
Jafar: Huh?
Aladdin: te want to be a genie? te got it!
[cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: And everything that goes with it!
[Aladdin shows the black genie lamp that sucks Jafar in]
Jafar: NO! NO!
Aladdin: I'm getting out of here!
[Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]
Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers...
[Jafar and Iago get sucked into the lamp]
Aladdin: itty-bitty living space.

Jafar: If it weren't for *me*, you'd still be in a cage at the bazaar squawking, "Polly want a cracker"!

Iago: I've got sand in places I didn't even know I had!
Jafar: [heard from inside his lamp] Spare me your prattling, Iago. Are we out yet?
Iago: [mimcking Jafar] 'Are we out yet? Are we out yet?' Yes, we're out!

Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [hesitating on freeing Jafar] Wait... how do I know that these things won't disappear once I set te free?
Jafar: [losing it] The più pressing domanda is, how will te stay alive if te DON'T?

Jafar: That was two wishes. Take your time with the third.
[menacingly]
Jafar: o te will wish te had never been born.

Jafar: Iago... te betrayed me and allied yourself with my enemies! Then te turned on them as soon at it was in your best interests. That's what I Amore about you. You're so perfectly predictable. A villain through and through!

Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: I got it! I could wish for the famed treasure chest of King Malakhan!
[Jafar makes the chest appear with Abis Mal in it, then makes it disappear]
Jafar: Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. I thought that was your wish. Are te quite all right?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [agitated] No, I am not quite...
Jafar: Wonderful! Good to see all is well.

Blue Genie: [Thinking he destroyed Jafar] HAHAHAHA! Who's laughing now?
Jafar: Hahahahaa!
[Reappears]
Jafar: Why, I believe it's me.
Abu the Monkey: Argh!

Jafar: [singing] Men cower at the power in my pinky / My thumb is number one on every list! But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible / put me to the test / I'd Amore to lay this rivalry to rest!

Jafar: [laughs sinisterly] Good help is so hard to find these days, isn't it, Aladdin?

Jafar: The strada, via rat? Still alive? NO!

[after Iago has knocked the lamp into the molten magma]
Jafar: My lamp! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Jafar: [bellowing at first, then softening down] te will now release me!... so that I may have my revenge.
Iago: [pulling himself loose from the sand, then shaking himself off] Yeah, yeah, when I'm good and ready.
Jafar: Do as I say, te worthless pipsqueak!
Iago: te know somethin'? You're nothing without me.
Jafar: What?
Iago: Who comes up with all the good ideas? ME! Who does all the work? ME!

Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [while Jafar slashes the Sultan's turban] Hey, that was a nice hat. I could've worn that hat.
Jafar: We need this for our plan.
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: Couldn't we use another hat for the plan?
Jafar: Oh, no. The Sultan's turban and this dagger are exactly what we need to foca, guarnizione Aladdin's doom.

Jafar: [to Aladdin] te shall never have my lamp, and there is no one to save te this time!
Iago: [swooping down, shouting] Hey, Jafar! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!

Jafar: [after he demands Abis Mal to take him and the lamp to Agrabah, which makes Abis Mal speak nervous gibberish] I suppose I am a bit too much for his limited mind.

Jafar: [he and Abis Mal appear at the sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer] Poor, sweet baby. Aren't we enjoying our wish?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [muffled, as an octupus wraps one of its tentacles around Abis Mal] Noooo...
Jafar: Perhaps te wish me to return te to the desert?
Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [screeching] Yeeeees!...
Jafar: Then well...

Jafar: [to Abis Mal] Let's not be too hasty, my simple-minded friend. It's not enough that we simply destroy Aladdin. After all, there are things *so* much worse than death!
[laughs menacingly]

Aladdin 'Al': Give it up Jafar!
Aladdin 'Al': We're obviously too much for te to handle!
Jafar: You?
Jafar: You're a fool to challenge me!
Jafar: I am all powerful!
Aladdin 'Al': Some all powerful.
Aladdin 'Al': te can't even get rid of a lowly strada, via rat!
Jafar: A problem I need to rectify right now!
Princess Jasmine: Aladdin!
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