Aussielicious 

Being in the business of photographing naked men, and some of them erotically, there are a lot of misconceptions about what I do. I’ve just spent a lovely evening catching up with a mate who also photographs beautiful men. We were chatting about the different bizarre messages we get from models and followers.

It’s been something I’ve known for a while that people assume that I have sex with all my models and that’s why I do what I do. Not the case at all. There are a couple of Sydney based photographers that I have heard can get a bit handsy and flirty with models and the models have to say no. One I’ve heard only does it so that he can hook up with models. While I admire the confidence I don’t condone the approach or the vibe at all.

After a conversation with my boss at my “real” job she floated a theory that has crossed my mind in the past already. That being potential romantic partners might be put off by my photography thinking that I only expect to date people that look the way my models do. Again, not the case at all. I wouldn’t want to date a model. Sure they are gorgeous but I have enough body hangups of my own without comparing myself to someone that looks like my models.

There isn’t much that would stop me doing photography and shooting beautiful male nudes. I do it for the creative pursuit and trying to create beautiful images. Sure, there is a pretty good benefit in having beautiful men get nude in front of my camera but a lot of the time I’m actually nervous about doing a good job and not wasting the opportunity to capture such beautiful specimens.

As yet Australia doesn’t have a professional football player in any variety of football who is in first grade and an out gay or bi man. It’s a sad thing but not unusual in the world at large. What is unusual is that we did at one stage have an elite level Rugby League player who was out.

In 1995 a player called Ian Roberts, at the tail end of his career, confirmed what had been long rumoured, that he was gay. He retired shortly after but he was a great player and it was big news at the time. This was over 20 years before marriage equality finally came in to being.

Two or three years after him coming out and before my own coming out, I was living in a beach suburb of Sydney and was walking down the street and he was walking down the street too. The man was enormous. He was in his physical prime at about 30 years of age and he was just wearing some athletic shorts that could barely contain his thighs.

This weekend just past I was at the cafe downstairs from my apartment and he turned up with his long term partner and some friends and at the age of 54 now he looks pretty bloody great. He’s never been a pretty boy in the face but his body is still that of a much younger man and a bit more athletic than it was after his retirement when he got even bigger than when he was playing football.

Seeing him took me straight back to that day walking down the street when I was, in hindsight, already brewing on my sexuality and remembering how impressed I was at the physical perfection he was at the time.

When he came out he posed for Paul Freeman nude in a gay art magazine of the era. Sadly I can’t seem to find any of the more revealing photos online at the moment. They were beautiful photos and it looked like he was pretty much in proportion from memory.

Over the past week or so I’ve been fighting off a funk. I’m feeling all flat and unmotivated, unattractive and unimportant. It’s really bloody frustrating. I have no idea where this has come from and hopefully the fog lifts as quickly as it’s arrived. It always does disappear but I just don’t want to feel like this for long.

Now I’m not saying I’m clinically depressed or anything. That would definitely undermine the seriousness of those people seriously suffering from depression. I’m just going through a flat phase.

On the weekend I largely kept to myself. There were outings for the gym and to do a photo shoot and to the cafe downstairs for a meal but other than that, I used my time to get things done. I edited the video that I shared last night for example. It’s only taken me 6 months of being back to get round to starting. Yesterday was a good opportunity.

Keeping physically active always helps. I’m about to get changed and head off to circus class in a bit. That always wears me out and gets frustrations out, or at least redirects them.

It would appear that I am a master at procrastinating. It would also appear that I didn’t do enough filming during my time in Portugal. Oh well. There was a bit of stress involved in my time in Portugal with missing luggage and petrol strikes, so I don’t think a vlog was forefront of my mind.

I have finally started editing the footage I got on the big trip to Europe last year and the first video is of Portugal. It’s only a short video but I hope you enjoy it.

I know I keep saying it but I really do enjoy making videos. It’s a bit daunting filming in public but I’ll work on getting over that.

There are so many reactions to Valentine’s Day and none of them are the “right” reaction. There are those couples that are very shouty on social media about how in love they are and even #blessed. Those are the ones I’m most cynical about because they are often the ones that are bitching and moaning about each other to their friends while presenting the Disney fantasy online.

There are the couples who just don’t celebrate it at all or make a token effort because we all realise that it’s actually just commercialism and marketing.

Single people who don’t give a rats about it are possibly in the easiest position. It costs them nothing and they just get on with their day, revelling in their singledom and going about their business.

Then there are those like me. While I know the day is a pile of marketing rubbish it’s the reminder that society tells you that to be truly happy you need to be in a relationship, that kinda sucks. I’m not enjoying my single status at the moment but that will pass and I’ll be back to enjoying the freedom afforded by that single status.

How did I celebrate Valentine’s? I watched a terrible new dating show on Netflix where complete strangers go on dates never seeing their date, but talking through a wall and only leaving the experiment when they propose to the person they have a good connection with. Why would I do that to myself? Partly because I just stumbled on it and it looked like good car crash tv and partly because I thought it would be a great reminder that even when I’m feeling the most lonely I’m not desperate enough to go on tv and propose to someone I’ve never seen.

Locker rooms are where a lot of us gay men found ourselves, as young boys, looking at men in fascination as they got undressed and took a shower. It’s almost a rite of passage but increasingly it’s a rare thing to find gyms with open communal showers. At least here in Australia and other places like the U.S. anyway.

In a conversation on the topic tonight we realised that it is slightly different at the public swimming pools. Those locker rooms still rarely have showers in cubicles. They might often have dividers but no doors or screens. It’s been a long time since gyms here in Australia have routinely had open showers and I think that’s a shame.

Today in an instagram story I started a poll about whether people would use open showers if that what their gym had. The results are probably skewed by my followers all at least being intrigued by nudity but I was very surprised that so far after 165+ votes the results are 94% yes, people would use the open showers. That’s a pleasant surprise. If so many people are comfortable with it, why have the gyms all moved towards private cubicles?

I maintain that if we all saw each other, us regular folks naked more often, there would be a lot less trouble with body image. As it stands we generally only see models and porn stars nude unless and that is not a realistic or healthy target to emulate. Nudity isn’t just for sex.

There are so many vloggers out there these days and I have so much respect for those people out there that find there thing, hone their style and make a real go of it. In my few attempts at vlogging and running a youtube channel, I know it’s hard bloody work. Vlogging especially can be awkward, if you aren’t completely lacking in self-consciousness running around town talking into a camera is a bit odd.

Over the years that I’ve been watching youtube videos, vloggers have come and gone. One favourite, the Finnish

just kind of stopped making videos which was a real shame. He had a beautiful, open hearted and slightly eccentric (or just Finnish) view of the world and promoted a really cool approach to the world.

was a great vlogger for a while, taking us all on amazing adventures around the world including one epic 13 day trip around the Arctic Circle on a Russian ice breaker. He’s back vlogging after a bit of a break but he has met a new girlfriend and completely changed. I’d even say he’s had a nervous breakdown. He’s all crazy ethereal hippy talk now and looks freaking stoned or wired the whole time. I had to unsubscribe.

One of the most reliable and incredible success stories of youtube over the past few years is

. His photography and videography tutorials, his vlogs and just his videos in general are just superb quality. That’s how he’s amassed over 4 million subscribers in just a few years.

I have so many ideas for videos, it’s just so damn daunting to do them. Got to just pick up the camera and start I guess.

People watching is one of the best sports going around. If you are ever worried that you aren’t normal, just sit in a public space and watch, someone will do something so odd that you’ll feel immeasurably better about yourself in no time at all.

Restaurants are a great place for people watching. It’s like feeding time at the aquarium but for people. Fish don’t have to pretend they like each other or be witty or anything but people do.

At a friend’s birthday dinner on Saturday there was a table of 20-somethings next to us. Five guys and four girls. Like all true-blue Aussie men, they sat together and pretty much ignored their girlfriends who all sat together and pretty much ignored their boyfriends. I thought dating in the gay world was bad but in the straight world you aren’t even allowed to associate with the opposite sex at social functions unless you have your tongue down their throat?

How does this work? To be honest I’m stunned that the world has managed to perpetuate the species for so long.

When a model comes to town from interstate, you have to take the chance while it’s there to work together and that’s just what happened with

. He was coming to Sydney for the weekend to catch up with friends and we squeezed in a quick shoot.

There was no elaborate concept. We just took advantage of the options available to us. Rob was staying in a nice little hotel room so that’s where we shot.

He, as you can clearly see is a sexy guy covered in a collection of very random tattoos, with some piercings and an brooding vibe that photographed really nicely.

If you want to see the whole shoot with Rob or buy any of the other downloads,

. This is number 90 download! There are some loyal buyers out there who seem to have bought every single one.

For a couple of days now I’ve been a bit under the weather. It’s nothing serious but there are a bunch of bugs going around. Of course, everyone is joking that it’s the Corona Virus but as I have said, that would be an immaculate infection since I’ve not been near anyone at risk.

I had Thursday off work and napped for a combined total of 4 hours and then went to bed early that night. Last night I slept for 10 hours and I’m still tired. Obviously there has been no gym for a couple of days. There is no point trying to push it while I’m sick.

It can be funny what you notice when you’re sick. When I wake up hung over, and I know I’m not the only one, I’m often more horny than normal. When I’m sick, like I am now, there is absolutely zero sex drive. That’s a good thing because I don’t think anyone needs to be in close proximity to me.

I have a friends 50th birthday dinner tonight so in the interests of good preparation I might actually go and have another nap now.

Season two of the brilliant British Netflix series SEX EDUCATION launched a few weeks ago and I’ve just finished the series and already want more. It handles serious topics like sexual assault, sexuality, gender, insecurities and relationships with such an intelligent but delicate hand and a sense of humour that is rare on tv these days.

Sadly it may well be another year before we see another season, if they renew it at all. I hope they do. The characters are so well written and Gillian Anderson is brilliant in it as Otis’ mum.

One of the characters, Jackson, is absolutely gorgeous. The actor who plays Jackson is Kedar Williams-Sterling. He’s only 25 so I shouldn’t be lusting but he is just a beautiful man. According to

he’s been on screens for a while now in lots of different roles but this is the first time I’ve seen him.

At the start of season one of Sex Education he comes across as the arrogant star athlete who you just don’t want to like but over that season and even more so in season two you really want to see him succeed. You also want him to take his shirt off more too. He plays a swimmer and it is a frustration of mine when you see people play swimmers in movies and on tv that aren’t actually great swimmers.

Kedar swims better than lots of actors playing swimmers but a natural swimmer makes going really fast look effortless. I’m yet to see an actor do that on screen sadly. He looks good in the speedos though.

When my gym closed down a few weeks ago I was gutted. Mostly because I loved working out in that gym and doing the classes that I was doing. Secondly because I had developed a few crushes on some of the guys that trained there. Not a single one of them was gay or remotely interested but that’s fine. It’s good motivation to get to the gym.

I’m currently doing a trial at another gym very close to home and I think I’ll like it there. I’m yet to try any of the classes but they look good and the general layout and equipment are good too. There are also a few guys at that gym that are on track to become my new gym crushes and this week, one of the gym crushes from the old gym has turned up at the new gym!

Tomorrow morning I don’t think I’ll have any opportunities to be checking out hot men. I’ve got a free welcome training session with a personal trainer. Let’s see if they try and kill me or if they give me something I will find useful. A free session is a good thing. It is at 5:45am though so it will be an early night. The thought of gym crushes will get me out the door in time.

You would think after having many many good social interactions with straight men that I might have let go of my defensive preconceptions over the years. Apparently not. I still feel slightly uneasy going into a pub full of straight men, even if it’s in the area of Sydney that I live in which is very diverse and accepting.

of Gareth Leonard who has been pretty much a full time traveller for 8 years or so now. When you first see him, or when I did at least, I thought former frat guy, probably played football, partied hard and had a string of girlfriends and probably never left his home town. Wrong.

Gareth obviously travels constantly and has a really cool, unpretentious vibe. Lots of the straight travel vloggers that I’ve seen do lots of yelling and “bro” kinda posturing. Gareth’s real passion is clearly food. On his channel you will find a LOT of talk of local foods and he clearly relishes in it.

So far I have watched videos of him exploring Japan, Russia, Iceland and Norway. He has a really enthusiastic but chilled approach to his travel and his vlogging. And so far he’s made me want to go to all the places I’ve watched him visit. Also, doesn’t hurt that he’s cute.

A couple of weeks ago I went to another speed dating event. There were some really nice guys there and I had a lot of laughs. One of the guys and I added each other on facebook and when I suggested catching up for a beer he said yeah. A few days later I suggested a night and he said he’d have to see because he had some things on. Since then, nothing.

Now, I barely know the guy so I’m not devastated or anything but I’m struggling to understand why he would say yes to a beer if he had no interest? The dating world is hard. I honestly didn’t ever picture my future when I was a kid or a teenager or even in my 20’s and think I’d be single in the second half of my 40’s, but here we are.

Generally speaking we gay men could do a lot better with the way we treat each other. It feels like we do almost anything else instead of having an honest conversation. We’ve all picked up baggage from being hurt along the way and we have all no doubt done some hurting.

I joked with a friend last week that I must have kicked someone’s black cat or something in a past life to get this kind of rubbish dating karma in this life. But then I don’t really believe that stuff.

Sometimes the short ones are more of a problem than the long ones aren’t they? I mean, occasionally they feel fine but others they just hurt and they can be more brutal. I’m talking about a work week, obviously.

This week in Australia was a short week after a public holiday on Monday but for some reason it felt like a long and difficult week even though it was short, and difficult.

I’ve been feeling like I’m fighting off a cold or a virus and just lacking in energy, the weather has been brutally humid here in Sydney. Add to that a sense of hopelessness around our pathetic government increasingly showing it’s corrupt nature, and just some general bullshit going on at work and it was with great relief I walked out the door yesterday afternoon and found myself shortly after at a bbq with a glass of rosé in my hand. It was a great antidote to the frustrations of the week.

Now I’m having a day in the house in the air conditioning because it’s brutally hot outside today. I’m going to stay as comfortable as I can.

Click this foto to see previous ‘Speedo Photos of the Day’