“It’s not a very steady ride,” Arthur Pendragon – the good looking prince of Camelot – said, picking himself up off the floor of the TARDIS for the sixth time.
“It’s got too many buttons,” the Doctor replied. He smacked a big, green one and everyone fell over. “Ha! Everyone off.”
They all clambered out of the TARDIS and Merlin looked around in awe. “We actually moved. This is so flipping awesome!!!”
“We’re at the northern borders,” detto Arthur. “The monster could be anywhere around here.” A branch snapped behind him and he spun around, whipping out his sword. “Look out!” he shouted and a rabbit jumped out from the bush. Merlin laughed. “Uh… False alarm.”
“What I really want to know,” detto Donna, “is how your twin brother managed to get from here onto an distant planet called Midnight.”
Merlin shrugged. “Don’t ask me, I’m not the genius.”
“Yes, that would be me,” detto the Doctor. “It’s all very complicated and I’m going to use a lot of big words that none of te will understand to explain it.”
“Wait,” interrupted Arthur. “How come te know he’s evil?”
“Because that’s how it works. There’s an evil twin and a non-evil twin. Obviously I’m the non-evil twin,” Merlin replied.
“Yeah, but how do we know that?” Arthur asked.
“Because I’m the one who’s saved your life billions of times,” detto Merlin.
“Oh, yeah? Name one.”
“When the dagger was flying towards te and I pulled te out of the way. Ooh, and when there was that poison in your cup, I drinked it for you. And then there was that time–”
“Okay, shut up.”
Donna raised her eyebrows and the Doctor clapped his hands together. “Right! Monster hunting time. Come on.”
They set off into the forest armed with a sword, sonic cacciavite and something that went BEEP that the Doctor detto would lead them to where the monster was.
“Here monsty monsty monsty,” Merlin called, hitting at bushes with a stick.
“It’s not going to come to that, Merlin,” detto Arthur.
They all spun around to see a giant monster running towards them. It was huge and it had the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle and the face of a… bear. And it was bright blue, to tell te the truth.
“RROOAARR!!” detto the monster again.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” detto Merlin, Arthur, Donna and the Doctor.
But before they could run away o get eaten o anything nasty like that, the monster stopped charging and a voice filled the clearing they were in.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? I travel the universe looking for te again, Doctor, and te lead me right back to my old home.” And out of the trees, Jethro stepped forward. “Hello, Merlin, long time no see.”
“Can’t say I’ve missed you, Jethro,” detto Merlin. “I mean… Sure, te were great and all, but I reckon te would’ve really stuffed up my destiny.”
“Really?” Jethro snorted. “You’d be Arthur, right?” he said, frowning at Arthur. “Yeah, te got the Cameloty look about you.”
“Cameloty? What’s that supposed to mean, Elmo?!”
Jethro ignored that last commento and looked at Donna. “Red hair, vacant expression and a hand-me-down robe. te must be a Noble.” Finally, he looked at the Doctor. “And you, Doctor, I’ve been looking for you.”
“You’ve said,” detto the Doctor. “Can I ask why?”
They all waited, but Jethro didn’t say anything else. Merlin said, “Uh… Why?”
“The TARDIS,” detto Jethro, but his successivo words were più of a hiss. “We wants it. It’s ours. Our… precious.”
“Someone’s gone loopy,” Arthur muttered.
“Well, te can’t have it,” detto the Doctor. “We were on important monster hunting business and te interrupted us. I suppose that is the monster,” he said, indicating the big, blue… thing.
“Yeah, te like him? His name’s Gary.”
“Gary? Good name for a monster.” Merlin nodded.
“Original,” detto Arthur.
“Classy,” Donna agreed.
“Moving on,” detto Jethro. “Hand over the TARDIS o Gary will eat you.”
“Ooh, ooh,” detto Merlin, jumping up and down with his hand in the air. “I have another question! Pick me, pick me.”
“Erm… Yes, Merlin?”
“If te don’t have a TARDIS o anything, how’d te get from another planet back to this one, hmm?”
Jethro frowned. “I don’t know. One secondo I was on Taahkjsnjcnjgawpoahkland and the successivo I was in the forest with Gary.” He leaned inoltrare, avanti and whispered, “I think someone brought me here.”
“Really? Why would they’d do that? They’d have to be real stupid,” Merlin said, then he backtracked. “Uh, te know, because they would have had to have used magic. Phew, that’s a mouthful.”
“I don’t know, I thought it might’ve been someone I know.” He winked at Merlin.
“Maybe they want an allegiance with Jethro,” detto Donna.
“Or bad consigli on clothes,” Arthur suggested.
“Hey, my clothes are fine, thank you,” Jethro snapped.
The Doctor looked up at Jethro. “You’re somehow right. I think that somehow someone somehow brought te somehow back someplace here using some magic somehow and I think they somehow want to use te somehow for something and they need some help from you… somehow.”
“Yes!” detto Arthur. “That makes complete sense!”
“But who would do that?” the Doctor questioned.
Just then, Merlin heard a voice inside his own head, Hello, Emrys. And out of the darkness of the forest stepped Mordred.
They stared at each other for a moment and then Arthur shouted. “Oh, my God!! That’s the dude who wants to kill me!!!!”