The Vampire Diaries recap: 'The Things We Lost in the Fire' 

'TVD': Ian Somerhalder says the Phoenix Stone will bond Stefan and Damon

'The Vampire Diaries' recap: 'Hell Is Other People'

Remember last week when I said, “Will anything ever be real again?“ Turns out that may not be a joke because, umm, what happened tonight? I realize that as your

understand the episodes, but with “The Things We Lost in the Fire,” this might need to be a collaborative effort. Let’s start from the beginning…

Damon is where we left him, standing among the bodies of his friends and family. Luckily it doesn’t take him too long to realize this might be real, so he gives blood to the mortals in the room. And just as he’s apologizing to Bonnie, Caroline stakes him. When he wakes, he’s chained up in the Lockwood mansion. Damon starts yelling and wakes up his brother from a strange dream. (Do vampires ever have normal, happy dreams?)

Damon expects to get the regular “repent for what you’ve done” speech from his little bro, but Stefan says because of what Damon had to endure in the Hell Stone, he gets a free pass. And then he shares this little tidbit from his own experiences: “Post-hell is much worse.”

Stefan explains that even once you’re free from the Phoenix Stone, its effects bleed into the real world. Stefan is haunted by Damon, and Damon is haunted by Henry (who 

Wilson Bethel’s twin). And if the Phoenix Stone effects weren’t enough, Julian has converted Mystic Falls into a haven for the extras of

He doesn’t. When Stefan frees him, they head to a bar, where Julian “welcomes” them. He says that this was Lily’s home, now it’s his, he’s not going anywhere, end of story. I’m not saying Damon and Stefan should be

with Julian, but he has been through this whole Phoenix Stone rebirth before; maybe he has some tips? These two clearly aren’t handling it well on their own.

Case in point: Damon wanders out of the bar when he sees Henry, but Henry just follows him out. Damon doesn’t want to hear what he has to say, though, so he just rips out his heart … and then sees that it’s a total stranger. Stefan walks by and gives his characteristic “you should be better” look to his brother.

But what’s that they say about glass houses? Stefan finally opens up to Damon, explaining to his older brother that he saw him everywhere when he woke up from the Phoenix Stone. He couldn’t think of anything except Damon. He was so consumed with it, he didn’t even notice Julian taking over the town. He thought the only way to rid himself of Ghost Damon was to burn up the body of Real Damon. So he doused him in gasoline and was about to light him up when Caroline saved them both. It’s a touching story … except he’s been telling it to no one — a fact he realizes when Julian busts his window with a baseball bat and tells him as much. (He was there to tell Stefan to put a leash on Phoenix Stone-affected Damon.)

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And, for once, Julian is right. Stefan better get a handle on Damon

because he’s up to no good. He calls Tyler, who’s back in town for the twins’ baby shower, and asks him to see Elena. Tyler says no for a hot second, but then drives him to a nearby (??? y’all know geography on this show is relative) shipping yard. Damon pulls Elena’s coffin out of the container and opens it, only to find Henry. Tyler tries to shoot Damon, but Damon puts

to sleep instead. Nothing good is going to come of this.

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