I woke up to a fresh morning in my hotel room. There was a bright raggio, ray of sunlight that hit my eyes perfectly. Too bright that it almost made me blind. I sat up and yawned and remember what happened before I left seven days ago. Every morning I think about Michael and I from the airport. And everytime I do, I end up feeling a tear rolling down my face. I wiped it off then walk into my bathroom and saw a vase filled with nothing but purple, blue, black and red roses. There was a card leaning against the vase that had my name on it. I opened it and pulled out a note. The note read,"Evanescence "Taylor", Best of luck tonight. We know te have be down because te miss Michael. We wanted to cheer te up with your preferito fiore in your preferito colors. We Amore you, Taylor. Love, Alex. Lola. Viktor. Lucien." I smiled and inhaled the scent to fiori produced.
After I took a nice how doccia and put on my black tank superiore, in alto and blue jeans, I blow dried my hair and put on my make-up. First my concealer, then bronzer. It was hard for me to find the lightest color because I was so pale like a vampire. Even the lightest color was a little dark for me. After I put on my cover up, I grabbed my mascara and then put on my eyeliner my eyes pop out and mostra off my hazel almost grey eyes. They actually looked creepy when I had my eyeliner one. But they also looked crepy without it. After I did quick little fix-ups, I walked out of my hotel room with my black sweater wrapped around my waist and my black studded berretto, tappo on my head. When I was depressed o ready to do a rock concert, I showed it.
I got in my car and drove to the stadium. My band was already there but they were warming up for rehearsal. I recognized what the song was they were practicing and where in the song they were. I unwrapped my sweater, took off my berretto, tappo and walked on stage and grabbed my microphone and belted my voice out as if it was the real thing. I gave everything like it was the concert. As I sang "Call Me When You're Sober", I noticed my voice sounded different. It sounded.......stronger. It sounded like I was Canto better than ever. I always sounded as if I was trying my best but this time I sounded perfect. Like as if everything was perfect so now I can be perfect. But nothing was perfect. That's the part the confused me.
When we got to the last verse and the pause came, I jumped into the air and slammed my feet down right when the instruments started to created the perfect sound. When my voice came out again, this time, I really gave everything. I had to hold the microphone away from me and yet I could hear myself perfectly. I felt like I could do anything. I never felt this way before except when I did that last performance and I saw Michael was there. I feel as if he is here. When I kept belting and the others attempted to play as loud as I sang but they still were slightly softer. I tried so hard to contain myself but I felt as if I had to let everything out and do it now.
After the song was finished, I stood near the edge of the stage, looking down at the floor wondering what got into me. I was breathing heavy and wanted to do more. "Taylor, what was that?" detto Lola. I didn't answer at first but then I held the microphone close to my mouth and said,"I don't know. I have no idea." "Taylor, that was amazing! What got into you?" asked Alex. I turned around and said,"Do te ever get that feeling when te have the urge to just let everything out? To just explode?" No one answered. They just stood there, looking at me. "I don't know why but I felt like I was releasing everything. I have the same feeling that I had when we did that last performance and I saw Michael. I felt and feel complete even though we are apart." No one detto anything. They just stared. "I want to do another. Uh....let's do 'Lithium'. Yeah, that song"
I turned to look out at the empty arena and imagined the placed filled with screaming people begging for più of my voice and for Musica to play. I took in deep breaths and started to sing even though the Musica wasn't playing. da the time I got to the secondo time of saying "Lithium" I heard my Musica playing and me getting that feeling again. I have no idea what it is but I liked it.
*That Night*
"Good luck, Taylor. te look awesome. You're going to do great." detto Alex as he gave me a loving hug. "Thanks, Alex. te too. Now go. You're the secondo to last one to go on stage. I'll meet te out there. I Amore you, big bro." Amore you, lil sis." As I watched my brother walk on stage, my cuore was pounding hard. I was trying so desperately not to run out there and just start the mostra and bring everything out I have bottled up inside me. Maybe that's it. I feel so upset and alone and afraid because of me and Michael, I'm taking the chance to let all of it out through my Musica again. Just like when we were kids and I became Evanescence from Step 1. When I finally put the pieces together, I realized, that was my reason. Everything is happening again except I know how this is going to end.
A smile grew onto my face as I thought about it. I could hear Michael as if he was here saying he loves me and good luck. I grabbed my microphone and slowly walked out on stage while looking out to the crowd. I got to my stand and place the microphone in it's holder. I stood there for a secondo then looked at my band then back at the crowd. When it finally got somewhat quiet, I took in a deep breath and started to sing "Going Under". Everyone in the arena started screaming as I sang the first sentence. "Now I will tell te what I've done for you." was the sentence. I stopped for a secondo until everyone came quiet again. "Fifty thousand tears I've cried." was the successivo sentence and everyone screamed again.
"How are te doing!?!?!?!?!" I yelled into the microphone. As the crowd yelled random things, I got into my sexy seductive mode. I grabbed the microphone off the stand and started to act like the stand was my stripper pole. I crouched down while starting the song up again and glided upwards and holding the stand. As I walked the stage, I started to lean down close to the audience and act seductive like a Gothic yet gorgeous vampire would. That was what some people thought of me as. A gorgeous, sexy, seductive, fangless, mortal vampire.
So....I decided to act what I portrayed to be. I was in my dark heaven but I wanted to find that light again. Yet, I had to wait for a anno and a half to go to it. It hurt to know that and I know Michael felt it too but we could do nothing about it. I kept seducing everyone with my voice and moves as I sang with the instruments. I was no longer Taylor Ward, the sweet girl everyone remembers from eight years fa that was so colorful and bright and loving and felt happy. I was Evanescence, a semi-gothic chick who's world was nothing but darkness and endless nights and who thought she would forever be alone. And yet a man she was Friends with as a child saved her from her eternal darkness. As I though of this in my head, I belted everything I had out of my lungs. Now since I am Evanescence, I'm home.
After I took a nice how doccia and put on my black tank superiore, in alto and blue jeans, I blow dried my hair and put on my make-up. First my concealer, then bronzer. It was hard for me to find the lightest color because I was so pale like a vampire. Even the lightest color was a little dark for me. After I put on my cover up, I grabbed my mascara and then put on my eyeliner my eyes pop out and mostra off my hazel almost grey eyes. They actually looked creepy when I had my eyeliner one. But they also looked crepy without it. After I did quick little fix-ups, I walked out of my hotel room with my black sweater wrapped around my waist and my black studded berretto, tappo on my head. When I was depressed o ready to do a rock concert, I showed it.
I got in my car and drove to the stadium. My band was already there but they were warming up for rehearsal. I recognized what the song was they were practicing and where in the song they were. I unwrapped my sweater, took off my berretto, tappo and walked on stage and grabbed my microphone and belted my voice out as if it was the real thing. I gave everything like it was the concert. As I sang "Call Me When You're Sober", I noticed my voice sounded different. It sounded.......stronger. It sounded like I was Canto better than ever. I always sounded as if I was trying my best but this time I sounded perfect. Like as if everything was perfect so now I can be perfect. But nothing was perfect. That's the part the confused me.
When we got to the last verse and the pause came, I jumped into the air and slammed my feet down right when the instruments started to created the perfect sound. When my voice came out again, this time, I really gave everything. I had to hold the microphone away from me and yet I could hear myself perfectly. I felt like I could do anything. I never felt this way before except when I did that last performance and I saw Michael was there. I feel as if he is here. When I kept belting and the others attempted to play as loud as I sang but they still were slightly softer. I tried so hard to contain myself but I felt as if I had to let everything out and do it now.
After the song was finished, I stood near the edge of the stage, looking down at the floor wondering what got into me. I was breathing heavy and wanted to do more. "Taylor, what was that?" detto Lola. I didn't answer at first but then I held the microphone close to my mouth and said,"I don't know. I have no idea." "Taylor, that was amazing! What got into you?" asked Alex. I turned around and said,"Do te ever get that feeling when te have the urge to just let everything out? To just explode?" No one answered. They just stood there, looking at me. "I don't know why but I felt like I was releasing everything. I have the same feeling that I had when we did that last performance and I saw Michael. I felt and feel complete even though we are apart." No one detto anything. They just stared. "I want to do another. Uh....let's do 'Lithium'. Yeah, that song"
I turned to look out at the empty arena and imagined the placed filled with screaming people begging for più of my voice and for Musica to play. I took in deep breaths and started to sing even though the Musica wasn't playing. da the time I got to the secondo time of saying "Lithium" I heard my Musica playing and me getting that feeling again. I have no idea what it is but I liked it.
*That Night*
"Good luck, Taylor. te look awesome. You're going to do great." detto Alex as he gave me a loving hug. "Thanks, Alex. te too. Now go. You're the secondo to last one to go on stage. I'll meet te out there. I Amore you, big bro." Amore you, lil sis." As I watched my brother walk on stage, my cuore was pounding hard. I was trying so desperately not to run out there and just start the mostra and bring everything out I have bottled up inside me. Maybe that's it. I feel so upset and alone and afraid because of me and Michael, I'm taking the chance to let all of it out through my Musica again. Just like when we were kids and I became Evanescence from Step 1. When I finally put the pieces together, I realized, that was my reason. Everything is happening again except I know how this is going to end.
A smile grew onto my face as I thought about it. I could hear Michael as if he was here saying he loves me and good luck. I grabbed my microphone and slowly walked out on stage while looking out to the crowd. I got to my stand and place the microphone in it's holder. I stood there for a secondo then looked at my band then back at the crowd. When it finally got somewhat quiet, I took in a deep breath and started to sing "Going Under". Everyone in the arena started screaming as I sang the first sentence. "Now I will tell te what I've done for you." was the sentence. I stopped for a secondo until everyone came quiet again. "Fifty thousand tears I've cried." was the successivo sentence and everyone screamed again.
"How are te doing!?!?!?!?!" I yelled into the microphone. As the crowd yelled random things, I got into my sexy seductive mode. I grabbed the microphone off the stand and started to act like the stand was my stripper pole. I crouched down while starting the song up again and glided upwards and holding the stand. As I walked the stage, I started to lean down close to the audience and act seductive like a Gothic yet gorgeous vampire would. That was what some people thought of me as. A gorgeous, sexy, seductive, fangless, mortal vampire.
So....I decided to act what I portrayed to be. I was in my dark heaven but I wanted to find that light again. Yet, I had to wait for a anno and a half to go to it. It hurt to know that and I know Michael felt it too but we could do nothing about it. I kept seducing everyone with my voice and moves as I sang with the instruments. I was no longer Taylor Ward, the sweet girl everyone remembers from eight years fa that was so colorful and bright and loving and felt happy. I was Evanescence, a semi-gothic chick who's world was nothing but darkness and endless nights and who thought she would forever be alone. And yet a man she was Friends with as a child saved her from her eternal darkness. As I though of this in my head, I belted everything I had out of my lungs. Now since I am Evanescence, I'm home.
Michael Jackson's personal chef Kai Chase just testified -- claiming a frantic Dr. Conrad Murray begged her for help the giorno MJ died, ten minuti before anyone called 911.
According to Chase, she was in the cucina preparing lunch for Michael and his kids -- and between 12:05 and 12:10PM, Murray ran downstairs, yelling for her to "get Prince, get help, get security."
Chase claimed she sent Prince to Dr. Murray and returned to work.
Chase admitted she didn't contact security -- a point highlighted da defense attorney J. Michael Flanagan.
Yesterday, MJ's personal assistant Michael Amir Williams testified ... Murray called him at 12:13 PM, and Williams immediately phoned security. MJ's security guard Alberto Alvarez eventually called 911 at 12:21 -- between 11 and 16 minuti after Murray allegedly asked Chase for help.
While Chase was leaving court today, we asked if she thought her testimony was helpful -- she responded, "Absolutely."
According to Chase, she was in the cucina preparing lunch for Michael and his kids -- and between 12:05 and 12:10PM, Murray ran downstairs, yelling for her to "get Prince, get help, get security."
Chase claimed she sent Prince to Dr. Murray and returned to work.
Chase admitted she didn't contact security -- a point highlighted da defense attorney J. Michael Flanagan.
Yesterday, MJ's personal assistant Michael Amir Williams testified ... Murray called him at 12:13 PM, and Williams immediately phoned security. MJ's security guard Alberto Alvarez eventually called 911 at 12:21 -- between 11 and 16 minuti after Murray allegedly asked Chase for help.
While Chase was leaving court today, we asked if she thought her testimony was helpful -- she responded, "Absolutely."
The successivo giorno Michael detto " Hannah sweetheart wake up" Hannah didnt wake up Michael detto " Hannah wake up" Michael detto " baby Isabella wake up" Isabella detto " yes what happen?" Michael detto " Hannah isn't waking up" Isabella detto " baby take Hannah take her to hospital" Hannah detto " daddy daddy" Michael OMG Hannah what happen?" Hannah detto " i had a bad dream daddy" Michael detto " what happen in the dream" Hannah detto " Daddy i saw monsters trynna to get me" Michael detto " it be ok Hannah me and Isabella are here ok te don't have to worry about ok Hannah" Hannah detto " ok Daddy" so the rest of the giorno was fun family time together it was nice and sweet then Hannah was fast sleep and Michael detto " so baby what do u want do tonight u want watch a movie" Isabella detto " idk " Michael detto " ok i am go sleep " Isabella detto " alright baby " baciare goodnight . to be contuine
Katherine Jackson is still ADAMANT her son never molested any children ... including MJ's 1993 accuser -- and insists MJ only paid the kid off because his lawyers gave him bad advice.
Katherine appeared on "Today" this morning ... where Matt Lauer asked if there was anything she wanted to clear up about her son's life.
Katherine responded, "As far as Michael being a child molester ... that's the biggest lie ever been told."
MJ's mom detto she read an articolo after MJ died -- in which the 1993 accuser allegedly admitted he made up the story against Michael.
When Lauer asked why MJ forked over a settlement with the boy ... Katherine said, "His lawyers told him he should just pay the money .. they thought that just paying the money and shut the people up would be the right thing to do."
Katherine detto she asked MJ why he made the sposta -- and MJ told
her, "I didn't want to do it either mother, I wanted to fight it because I knew it wasn't the truth."
Katherine appeared on "Today" this morning ... where Matt Lauer asked if there was anything she wanted to clear up about her son's life.
Katherine responded, "As far as Michael being a child molester ... that's the biggest lie ever been told."
MJ's mom detto she read an articolo after MJ died -- in which the 1993 accuser allegedly admitted he made up the story against Michael.
When Lauer asked why MJ forked over a settlement with the boy ... Katherine said, "His lawyers told him he should just pay the money .. they thought that just paying the money and shut the people up would be the right thing to do."
Katherine detto she asked MJ why he made the sposta -- and MJ told
her, "I didn't want to do it either mother, I wanted to fight it because I knew it wasn't the truth."
Child of innocence, I miss your sunny days
We joyously frolicked in extended plays
Ever since you've left the scene
The streets are lonely, dark and mean
Child of innocence, return to me now
With your simple smile mostra them how
This world once again can respond to your glance
And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance
Child of innocence, your elegance, your beauty
Beckons me now beyond the call of duty
Come fly with me far and above
Over the mountains in the land of love
Child of innocence, messenger of joy
You've touched my cuore without a ploy
My soul is ablaze with a flagrant fire
To change the world is my deepest desire.
We joyously frolicked in extended plays
Ever since you've left the scene
The streets are lonely, dark and mean
Child of innocence, return to me now
With your simple smile mostra them how
This world once again can respond to your glance
And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance
Child of innocence, your elegance, your beauty
Beckons me now beyond the call of duty
Come fly with me far and above
Over the mountains in the land of love
Child of innocence, messenger of joy
You've touched my cuore without a ploy
My soul is ablaze with a flagrant fire
To change the world is my deepest desire.
"Moonwalker" -- a collection of short films made da MJ in 1988 -- was never released theatrically in the United States ... but one L.A. movie theater is finally trying to make it happen ... for one night only.
TMZ has learned Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood is on the hunt for a film print of the 1988 cult classic ... after MJ fan flooded the A.C. Facebook page with the challenging request.
According to reports, "Moonwalker" was never theatrically released in America because of failed negotiations with U.S. movie distributors back in the giorno ... however the flick was eventually released in The States on VHS.
FYI -- "Moonwalker" featured a super-iconic 25-minute featurette for "Smooth Criminal" ... which included an awesome cameo da Joe Pesci.
Arclight claims they're actively searching for the print -- we'll let te know if the cerca succeeds.
TMZ has learned Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood is on the hunt for a film print of the 1988 cult classic ... after MJ fan flooded the A.C. Facebook page with the challenging request.
According to reports, "Moonwalker" was never theatrically released in America because of failed negotiations with U.S. movie distributors back in the giorno ... however the flick was eventually released in The States on VHS.
FYI -- "Moonwalker" featured a super-iconic 25-minute featurette for "Smooth Criminal" ... which included an awesome cameo da Joe Pesci.
Arclight claims they're actively searching for the print -- we'll let te know if the cerca succeeds.
Certain items found in the room where Michael Jackson died could help shape Dr. Conrad Murray's defense -- namely, that other docs were medicating Michael.
Sources connected with the case tell TMZ ... evidence in the room suggests certain potent drugs were "prescribed and prepared" for MJ to self-medicate.
As we first reported, Dr. Murray's team will not challenge the L.A. County Coroner's finding that Jackson died of a massive Propofol overdose. But as we told you, Murray's team will present evidence in the doc's manslaughter case that Michael awakened, then gave himself the fatal dose of Propofol when Murray left the room.
We're told Murray's team hasn't decided if it will use the evidence found in the room to implicate other doctors in Jackson's death. But we do know Murray's legal team will present evidence during the trial that the fruits of Jackson's notorious doctor shopping over two decades wore his body down.
The rep for Dr. Murray's lawyer refused comment.
Sources connected with the case tell TMZ ... evidence in the room suggests certain potent drugs were "prescribed and prepared" for MJ to self-medicate.
As we first reported, Dr. Murray's team will not challenge the L.A. County Coroner's finding that Jackson died of a massive Propofol overdose. But as we told you, Murray's team will present evidence in the doc's manslaughter case that Michael awakened, then gave himself the fatal dose of Propofol when Murray left the room.
We're told Murray's team hasn't decided if it will use the evidence found in the room to implicate other doctors in Jackson's death. But we do know Murray's legal team will present evidence during the trial that the fruits of Jackson's notorious doctor shopping over two decades wore his body down.
The rep for Dr. Murray's lawyer refused comment.
All alone wishing on stars
Waiting for te to find me
One sweet night I knew I would see
A stranger who'd be my friend
When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells te never be afraid
Then somewhere in your cuore te can feel the glow
A light to keep te warm when the night winds blow
Like it was written in the stars I knew
My friend, my someone in the dark was you
Promise me we'll always be
Walking the world together
Hand in hand where dreams never end
My stella, star secret friend and me
When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells te never be afraid
Then somewhere in your cuore te can feel the glow
A light to keep te warm when the night winds blow
Look for the arcobaleno in the sky
I believe te and I
Could never really say goodbye
Wherever te may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Wherever te may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Waiting for te to find me
One sweet night I knew I would see
A stranger who'd be my friend
When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells te never be afraid
Then somewhere in your cuore te can feel the glow
A light to keep te warm when the night winds blow
Like it was written in the stars I knew
My friend, my someone in the dark was you
Promise me we'll always be
Walking the world together
Hand in hand where dreams never end
My stella, star secret friend and me
When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells te never be afraid
Then somewhere in your cuore te can feel the glow
A light to keep te warm when the night winds blow
Look for the arcobaleno in the sky
I believe te and I
Could never really say goodbye
Wherever te may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Wherever te may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
te came and changed my life
te Let Me survive
I never felt like this before
It's very perfect più Than I Thought
I came to This world hopeless,helpless
te Made Me Speechless
I was alone with no friend
te came my friend
Until The end
and never looked for How Much te had to spend
when My fears came
te came and took The shame
te lifted me up In the sky
and Made me fly so high
like a butterfly
cause you're Angel In My sky
te opened my heart
Through blocked walls
te Made Me See the light
through Darkness night
te were My dreams
through My fighting In nightmare
I can't explain Much
how I Feel About You
Just Let my feelings come to you
Cause I Amore you
yes It's true!!!!!!!!!!
te Let Me survive
I never felt like this before
It's very perfect più Than I Thought
I came to This world hopeless,helpless
te Made Me Speechless
I was alone with no friend
te came my friend
Until The end
and never looked for How Much te had to spend
when My fears came
te came and took The shame
te lifted me up In the sky
and Made me fly so high
like a butterfly
cause you're Angel In My sky
te opened my heart
Through blocked walls
te Made Me See the light
through Darkness night
te were My dreams
through My fighting In nightmare
I can't explain Much
how I Feel About You
Just Let my feelings come to you
Cause I Amore you
yes It's true!!!!!!!!!!