I Pinguini di Madagascar Club
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posted by KowalskiTheLich
‘AUDITIONS TONIGHT’ read a big sign positioned over the fontana in the zoo plaza. A crude tavolo had been positioned in front of the fountain, at which sat Mason and Phil. Large piles of papers were stacked all over the tavolo and a huge line was assembled in front of it. Every few seconds, one of the animali in the line would hand one of the chimps a piece of paper, which they would promptly glance at and stack on superiore, in alto of one of their piles. Then the animal would go up onto the side of the fontana and sing a song of their choice from The Barber of Seville for the judges, the chimps and King Julien. After a few secondi they were usually rejected and either left the zoo, skulking o sat down somewhere to watch the others.

King Julien was bored out of his mind, as a sappy rendition of an Italian opera was not exactly his idea of entertainment. The chimps, however (Mason especially) were really getting into the mood, obviously they had been longing for something più than a CD recording of the opera. They had purposely saved the zoo animali for last, looking to get the stray animali from the park out of the way first. Out of twenty, so far, they had found one who was able to sing well enough to make it in. Most of the animali were Canto in really mechanical voices, due to the fact that none of them had ever even heard of The Barber of Seville, much less a song from it, and had simply memorized the song off a piece of paper and were reciting it like a speech while attempting to add a little musical flair to it. Unfortunantly for them, this did not wow the chimps.

Private was standing in a corner with the rest of the zoo animali that were auditioning, looking very nervous. He didn’t even know why he wanted to be in an opera in the first place, he had never particularly enjoyed the big fat guys Canto in really deep voices and the huge ladies in Viking hats. He glanced across the plaza where Skipper and Rico were sitting. Rico gave him an encouraging wave. Skipper was looking in the opposite direction.

“Good luck Private,” detto someone. Private looked behind him and saw Maurice standing there, looking very smug.

“Er…good luck to te too, Maurice” detto Private politely.

“Yeah…back in Madagascar, I was…” Maurice began, but Private cut him off.

“Shh…someone else is about to sing!” he said. They turned and watched for four secondi as a porcupine began to sing in a horrible nasally voice, as though he had a terrible cold. The chimps immediately dismissed him and called up the successivo animal in line.

“I don’t know why the chimps let all of this riffraff into the auditions with us” detto a harsh sounding female voice. “It’s not like they’re going to beat out any of us…and couldn’t they have at least let us go first?”

Private and Maurice spun around and saw Darla the babbuino standing there, watching an animal climb onto the side of the fontana with distaste. Private opened his mouth to interject but someone else cut him off.

“Darla, be nice,” detto Marlene. “You know how poorly those animali fare outside the zoo…”

“Whatever, hun” detto Darla, annoyed. “They’re just wasting my time as far as I’m concerned.”

As the zoo animali continued to bicker, one animal that had been holding up the line for the past four minuti finally cleared up an issue with the song he was planning to sing and walked up to the fountain. Everyone who had been sitting around bored immediately sat up and looked at him. He began to sweat as he struggled to remember the words.

While everyone was waiting for the animal to sing, a dark figure darted behind the viewing animali and dashed up a tree. The trees had been made off-limits due to the fact that a scoiattolo had tripped and fallen off a branch while everyone was gathering and had to be removed from the zoo grounds due to a leg injury and the chimps, not wanting any lawsuits, decided it was better if everyone sat on the ground.

Kowalski shifted himself so that he was behind a large branch, out of sight from anyone on stage who might happen to look up into the tree, and sat down on a large branch. Not the most comfortable seating arrangement but it worked. He glanced down in order to make sure no one was sitting directly underneath him, then sort of leaned back against the branch so that he could see the auditioning animal with one eye.

Down at the judges bench, Phil and Mason were having trouble keeping up with the crowd, mostly because Julien was snoring loudly successivo to them and no amount of poking o prodding would awaken him. Not helping was the fact that Fred the scoiattolo was up next, and was probably the most frustrating animal that had signed up to audition. For one thing, he had not filled out any of the blanks on his form, which was a long, complicated lista of details about the animals’ life. They had been instructed to fill it out before hand, but obviously Fred had not obeyed.

“Okay…so what goes here?” detto Fred. The animali behind him groaned as they realized he was pointing at ‘Birthdate’.

Mason was becoming nearly as frustrated as the other animals. “It says ‘Birthdate’. Do I really need to tell te what that means?”

Fred started blankly. Mason groaned. “What anno were te born?” he said.

“You mean my birthday?” detto Fred.

“YES!” detto Mason.

“Okay…my birthday’s on July 6…here te go.”

Fred handed Mason the form. Mason sighed and stuffed the paper underneath a particularly large stack. “Fine. But hurry up, you’re holding up the line!”

Fred took his time to climb up onto the fountain. da the time he was ready, Phil had fallen asleep and several animali in the back of the line had dato up and walked out of the zoo.

Fred opened his mouth and began to sing in the most impressive opera voice anyone there had ever heard. King Julien woke up and fell backwards into Mason’s lap before falling to the ground, and everyone else stared at Fred as he continued to sing. Even Kowalski, sitting across the plaza in the tree, was mightily impressed. Kowalski thought Fred might be considered on par with the best male singer in the mostra on Broadway he had seen the other giorno and was wondering how he had gotten such an incredible talent for Canto when Fred stopped and hopped off the fountain.

“How was that?” he said.

Phil and King Julien were both staring, their mouths agape. Mason was busy clapping enthusiastically. “Yes, definitely a yes! But…” he continued in a small voice “If I let te have a part, please try to not take so much time with everything.”

“I’ll try” detto Fred, walking away and scratching his chest.

“Aha!” detto a roughish voice with a French accent. “Finally! It is time for me, Ze Archer, to…”

“Yes, skip the monologue and get up there,” detto Mason unenthusiastically. “And good luck beating that last performance.”

“I assure you, te will not be disappointed,” detto The Archer and, with a running start, did a flip up onto the side of the fountain. Before beginning to sing, he beamed at the audience and gave two female raccoons watching the auditions a roguish wink. They swooned, while most of the other animali rolled their eyes and shouted at him to hurry up.

The Archer then took a long time to clear his throat, so long that da the time he had finished several più animali had left the back of the line and Julien had fallen back asleep and was snoring even più loudly than before.

Phil slapped Julien to wake him up as The Archer began to sing. Most lamentably for The Archer, he was trying to maintain his fake French accent while singing, but since that was not his natural voice (and the fact that he had not trained in Canto with the French accent, only talking) the song came out in a horrible-sounding mix of unintelligible words.

“Aagh! Stop!” detto Mason. “Next please!”

“Wha…?” detto The Archer, refusing to step off the side of the fountain. “Just let my try again!” he continued, now using his New York accent. “I promise I’ll…”

“No, te had your go,” detto Mason. “I’ve been listening to rubbish for the last ora and I’m not going to waste any più time listening to that again.”

When he still did not more, Bada and Bing the gorillas came over and threw him off the side of the fountain. Then the successivo animal in line went up to audition.

It took so long to get through this that Kowalski eventually dozed off (as did several animali in the audience and in the line, who had to be woken up so they could have a chance to audition). However, Mason stood on his scrivania, reception when the non-zoo animali had finished their auditions and screamed very loudly into the air, which surprised Kowalski so much that he nearly fell out of the albero (Kowalski thought it might be a type of scream therapy).

“Wow, it’s late,” commentato Mason when he sat back down. “I’m probably going to end up sleeping till three in the afternoon tomorrow”.

“Well, hopefully, the animali from our own Central Park Zoo will be able to turn this around” announced Mason, noting that only four animali from the park had actually passed the audition. All of the animali in the audience clapped, knowing that it would not take much longer now. Kowalski was drifting off to sleep again, wanting to go to letto but also wanting to stay up for the rest of the auditions.

Meanwhile, Fred the scoiattolo had been chatting with some of his Friends when they decided to leave the zoo. Fred declared that he didn’t want to go back to the park yet and wanted to stay and watch the rest of the auditions. The other animali shrugged and walked out and Fred walked over to find somewhere to sit. All of the comfortable places near the fontana had already been taken and Fred had not been paying attention when the chimps announced that they didn’t want anyone to be in the trees. So he climbed up a albero to get a better view. And naturally, that albero happened to be the one Kowalski was dozing off in.

Fred was climbing to a particularly large branch about three-quarters of the way up, as it provided a great view. When he was about there, however, he stepped on something soft and sort of squishy. Fred poked it and the thing (Kowalski, obviously) moaned and sat up.

“Oh, hello” detto Fred.

Kowalski yawned. “Hello…” he detto sleepily. Then he jerked awake and yelped. He knew that he shouldn’t be drawing too much attention to himself but he also knew that he wasn’t supposed to let anyone see him, and he wasn’t thinking very clearly as he had just woken up. He kicked Fred from behind, knocked him out of the tree, and made a run for it.

“Aah” detto Fred softly, still very uncaring despite the fact that he had just been kicked out of a tree. He bounced off a branch and landed on the ground with a thunk.

He landed right successivo to the chimps, who were busy Leggere through some papers. Mason jumped, startled, then looked up and saw that he had just fallen out of a tree.

“Now, this is why I detto that no one was to sit in the trees during the auditions!” scolded Mason. “What happened?”

“I dunno…I was just climbing up the albero and I stepped on someone, and I guess they didn’t like it because the successivo minuto they just kicked me out of the tree.”

“Who?” detto Mason.

Fred shrugged. “All I saw was that he was all black and pretty tall.”

“All black and pretty tall?” detto Mason, obviously disappointed da the description.

“Hah! I’ll bet it was that silly penguin…the tall one. He was always coming up to me and talking to me about…oops” detto King Julien, quickly covering his mouth. Of course, everyone turned and stared him down.

“Who, Kowalski?” detto Mason. “I bet you’re right, remember the other giorno when Skipper gave that announcement about him?”

In just a few moments everyone in the plaza was mumbling to another animal about something Kowalski-related.

“Well, te seem to know a bit about what’s going on here,” detto Mason, turning to King Julien. But when he glanced towards where the lemure had just been sitting, there was no sign of him.

“He’s gone!” detto several animals, flabbergasted.

“He was taken da Kowalski! Who will be next?” shouted the flamingo. (In truth Julien had simply snuck away from the plaza while everyone was mumbling to each other and ran back to the lemure habitat).

“Calm down!” detto Mason, projecting his voice around the plaza. “Need I remind everyone that he is a penguin, one which is about a quarter of your height, Pinky” he stared coldly at the flamingo, who giggled.

“And based on what Skipper has detto over the passed few years he has lived at this zoo, Kowalski is the worst fighter of all the penguins. So how many of te really think that this is something to be worried about?”

Mort, who was sitting in the audience, raised his tiny hand. When he saw that no one else had, be giggled put his hand down.

Skipper did not want to share the news with everyone that Kowalski was dead, but if he didn’t they would soon be blaming Kowalski for everything that happened around the zoo, which would get annoying…and the worst part is that they would probably expect the penguins to do something about it! So Skipper waddled on up to the side of the fontana and shouted to direct everyone’s attention to him.

“Listen, everyone. It’s not Kowalski.”

“How do te know?” detto the flamingo. “Just yesterday te got up here and told us all how ‘dangerous’ he was!”

“Well, it’s just that…he’s dead,” detto Skipper sadly.

It was obvious that the animali did not believe him, so Private, Marlene and Maurice, who had been waiting patiently in line, got up onto the side of the fontana as well.

“It’s true,” detto Private. The other two nodded.

“You KILLED him?” detto the flamingo, backing several steps away from the fontana even though he was already quite far away from it.

“No, of course I didn’t kill him!” he snapped at the flamingo. “It’s a long story…”
Stripes 03.16.16

Note: This installment contains implied Skilene. Perceive it as te will.

— § —

“. . . and I want Rico on aerial surveillance,” Skipper detto to his team down in the HQ. “Private and I will scout the ground. We’ll —”

“Hey, guys,” detto a voice from behind, causing the team to instinctively jump into combat position. Marlene flinched and held up her paws. “Whoa, guys! It’s just me.”

Skipper relaxed his stance and rolled his eyes. “We’ve already told you. You’re not authorized to just drop down here without permission. We are in the middle of a classified...
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Kick in the Head 03.03.16

Note: This installment is humanized. It’s a silly improv idea I thought of and I randomly decided to turn it into a little ficlet.

— § —

Marlene sat at one of the chairs at a beauty shop, waiting for her stylist to come. She looked through a magazine that showed a bunch of women with various styles of hair, occasionally looking into the mirror and imagining her with a particular one.

“Ooh, girl! Look — at — you!” a woman detto as she came to her side, fluffing her hair a bit. Her nametag read Tange and she had a thick, nasally Brooklyn accent. She had to...
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Sacrifice 02.09.15

Note: This chapter is humanized. It also contains character death.

— § —

Kowalski took a shaky breath and stood before the guests seated in rows of fold-up chairs. Suppressed sobs punctured the silence.

“I’ll be honest. When I was first told that Skipper had been killed, I nearly laughed,” he said. The guests’ expressions twisted in a mixture of shock and confusion.

“Not because it was funny, but because I’d always imagined Skipper would intimidate Death himself,” he explained, almost smiling. The guests relaxed and exchanged glances as they realized how right...
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posted by peacebaby7
Skipper checked the time on his phone again. It was nearly twenty till four o’clock. They should be calling for the plane to board any minute. He looked at the flight board, which still indicated that it’d be on time. He was grateful for the Dibbles that were in his pocket and he anxiously munched on them.

“Now boarding the four-twenty to Bloomington, Illinois at Gate 4,” detto a voice over the intercom. Skipper didn’t even let her finish before gathering his things and making his way to the gate.

He gave his pass to a woman at the gate (which he’d accidentally gotten Cheezy Dibble...
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added by Spookyprincess
posted by peacebaby7
Author’s Note: This is my fifth installment of POM skits. My first was regular link, secondo was link skits, third were link skits, and the fourth showcased link in various antics. For this installment, they will all be humanized scenarios. Any titolo with a Roman Numeral successivo to it has a skit note associated with it at the end. I hope te enjoy!

41) The King of Rock and Roll [XXI]

Julien strutted down Park Avenue with his manager, Maurice, at his side. He wore a two hundred dollar pair of jeans, a leather giacca over a purple slim-fit silk polo shirt, and a pair of black Maui Jim sunglasses....
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Five Years Later

“Are te nervous?” Laura asked as she adjusted Harold’s cap.

“Nah,” Harold answered with a smile. Laura crossed her arms and gave him a look. “Okay, fine!” Harold admitted. “Maybe a little.”

Laura smiled.

“You’ll do fine. Now, go! They’re waiting for you,” she detto ushering him toward the stage.

“And now,” detto a man at the podium, “our August Martin High School valedictorian of 2020, Harold Chance!”

Harold smiled and waved at the audience in the auditorium as they applauded.

“Thank you, everyone,” he detto into the microphone. The audience silenced...
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Disclaimer: I don't owe any of the characters of the Penguins of Madagascar o any of the places related to the ones that can actually be found o the ones from the show. I do own the story's plot, though, so don't steal my idea. Thanks!

"You're what?" Skipper turned to Leroy. "How could te not think it was necessary to tell us te were the prince?" he yelled. "What would the tartaruga nation think if they knew Ringtail had 'caught' te with a blanket? te could have had a concussion from falling down the hatch like that!"

Kowalski went on where his leader had paused to take a breath. "And the...
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added by Sheila-Daimond
added by Sheila-Daimond
"Benedict Cumberbatch will make his first trip to San Diego Comic-Con to promote DreamWorks Animation’s feature “The Penguins of Madagascar,” although he may also stick around for Warner Bros.’ “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies,” and support Peter Jackson, who is scheduled to present the final installment of his trilogy.

In addition to Cumberbatch, who plays Agent Classified, the panel for “Penguins” will also feature John Malkovich, Tom McGrath and directors Simon J. Smith and Eric Darnell. volpe will release the toon on Nov. 26.

The 90-minute DreamWorks panel will take...
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added by Snowfrost
Source: Snowfrost
The successivo morning it was time that me and Skipper start heading back to the central park zoo. despite me being injured last night I still got some strength in me left.

Skipper: *wakes up then yawns* well it's morning *looks at me still sleeping* ciao Kiva wake up.

Me: *wakes up then yawns* ciao Skipper, is it morning yet?

Skipper: yep, and it's time for us to head back to the central park zoo *puts my blanket in my backpack then puts on my backpack*

Me: te know Skipper, te look pretty fine wearing my backpack.

Skipper: well after all te got injured last night when te push me out of the way and...
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added by Skipper315
added by FelineMae
added by Cowtails
added by Cowtails
added by Cowtails
added by Cowtails
added by Cowtails