May I kindly ask for your opinions?

I want your opinions on a poem I wrote recently. I mostly draw cartoons, so I'm new to this form of art. :) It's a Amore poem, da the way, to Ringo Starr.

Vertical man
how do te stay positive
at times of war?
How do te smile
knowing what's going on
outside of your door?

He put his arm around my shoulder
And patted my head
And then he said

Sweetie, my dear
I have rock & roll in my heart
as long as I know that I have Friends and my music
to keep my own world at peace
that's all I need
to keep my smile

I looked at his eyes
as they looked down to me
His were always so pretty and filled with glee
even if sometimes
they were hidden
behind dark glasses

I understood what he was trying to say
but what I didn't understand
was why the vertical man
couldn't bring my smile back to me
I got up,
started to walk away, started to gently weep

But the Vertical man halted me
and he hugged me
It was a hug so very tight
that I thought my heart
was about to go explodey

he then told me something
that I would always think back to
whenever I was blue

te have this thing called rock
in your heart, too
te also have another nice thing
I call this art

The vertical man gave me a flower, and shook my hand
I gave him a hug, a baciare on the cheek, a thank te for my glee.

I was disappointed, though, that he now had to leave
But I had this feeling
that we could meet again

His aura was so whimsical
so wonderful

I guess that's why
they call him

Mr. Starr.


 theCakeArtist posted più di un anno fa
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random Risposte

jessieinCA said:
Wow its really good! I actually like poesia now because of this poem.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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Thank te very much! :)
theCakeArtist posted più di un anno fa
iamagagamonster said:
Uhhh its really... wordy.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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anyways, its really good! :]
iamagagamonster posted più di un anno fa
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Thanks! :)
theCakeArtist posted più di un anno fa
tanaluvsbieber said:
well its different
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posted più di un anno fa 
Puffedwarrior said:
I write poesia and I must say, your poem is pretty impressive!
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posted più di un anno fa 
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Thank you!
theCakeArtist posted più di un anno fa
Goldilottes said:
I write poesia also.
Yours is very good interesting and impressive, keep it up.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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Thanks!
theCakeArtist posted più di un anno fa
animegrl52p said:
great job!
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posted più di un anno fa 
BlindBandit92 said:
I'm not really an expert on poesia but in my honest
opinion,I really thought it was good.
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posted più di un anno fa 
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