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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized da irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing o two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points for the bride, in paraphrase: her wedding is going to be tacky, she’s too picky of an eater, her sense of humor sucks, and her stepson is making a dreadful choice in marrying her. And one più thing: her out-of-work parents are cheap.

When Withers received the email (Bourne sent it three times to be sure) she did what anyone would do: she forwarded it to a few Friends to share in the shock. What was the alternative —respond with a 'frowny' face? But instead of simply offering advice, some anonymous friend got pro-active and forwarded Bourne’s e-attack, launching a viral sensation in a matter of hours. Now everyone in the Western Hemisphere has laid eyes on Bourne’s email.

In a way, it’s the ultimate revenge on a mother-in-law who needed to be put in her place after such power-mongering. But it’s not going to make for smooth wedding. Bourne has been labeled the mother-in-law from hell da media outlets and Withers’ father Alan has fueled the fuoco da publicly calling Bourne “Miss fancy pants." Now parents on both sides of the couple are fueding and nobody's manners are in check. Suggestion for Heidi and Freddie, her groom: elope.

Bourne has told London's Telegraph she still plans to attend the wedding, but will maintain a "dignified silence." She may know about English etiquette but she’s clueless about the cardinal rule of the Internet: never send an email te don’t want the world to see. te almost have to feel bad for the lady, mom-zilla o not. That is, until te read the actual email she sent Withers. Here’s an excerpt:

from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When te are a guest in another's house, te do not declare what te will and will not eat - unless te are positively allergic to something.

te do not remark that te do not have enough food.

te do not start before everyone else.

te do not take additional helpings without being invited to da your host.

When a guest in another's house, te do not lie in letto until late morning in households that rise early - te fall in line with house norms.

te should never ever insult the family te are about to unisciti at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather te passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

te regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps te should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castello unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

Ouch. There's no denying it's harsh, but if you've ever been in the line of fuoco in a wedding party, te know marriage anxieties strike darkness in the hearts of man. What do te think: Is this mom's email forgivable?
posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different strada, via in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made te feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of home that it always gave me. I also made new Friends immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a banana strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the lista te have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the banana peel. Bananas like to be wackos and mostra themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if te are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the tavolo with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the latte carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check o charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Televisione set in her purse.
"So, do te always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did te get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been dato your share !

HE: Will te come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make te very happy
SHE: Why? Are te leaving?

HE: What would te say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If Amore is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should te believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that Cani Amore to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at te if te blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a albero falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentagono were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a casseruola

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole anatra

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the successivo car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The più it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying te should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the commenti which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz te hate America."

3. When te go to the princible's office, and when he asks why te were sent, say, "I wrote that te sucked...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited da mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah dessert and traveled da Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an mela, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened pane which is pane made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
te came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one giorno embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I Amore the special bond that we beutifully share,
I Amore the way te mostra u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever sicuro, cassetta di sicurezza within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
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1)At the movies: When te meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are te doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't te try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When te ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer burro Masala" dish good?...
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xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as te can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when te laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...
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* arancia, arancio Lavaburst
* pesca, peach (no longer produced)
* Poppin' rosa Lemonade
* fragola Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* caramelle mela, apple cooler


[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* frutta Pow
* frutta Punch
* Orange
* arancia, arancio Supernova
* rosa Lemonade
* lampone Kiwi
* Strawberry
* fragola Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C aspro, acida Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________

THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Did te really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be più than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special giorno
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that giorno
there was lots to be detto
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When te detto "I Amore you"
I detto "I Amore te too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be più
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) sposta everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elefante weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our Friends and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if te sometimes feel sad o depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to te sorry, but if your in any other country, then te still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When te think of Cioccolato everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their domande with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. "Do not use if te cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping o unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. te can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say te should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching Televisione da candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find Televisione very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO te - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring te the news of fail blog sooner...

some of te may know but the rest of te probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your giorno to giorno FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most random posts of failed foto shots of failures postato da dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make te laugh! te can take failed pictures your self...
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