1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes da waving it and
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave permanent markers da the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle
of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode
of Starsky and Hutch.
11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip
the pages out of your textbook.
12. Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention
to pursue a career in measurements and units.
13. Sing your questions.
14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
15. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream “THAT’S MEEEEE!
Oh, no, sorry.”
16. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you
actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O’Reilly.
17. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
18. Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you’ve done so.
19. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters “CHECK YOUR FLY”.
20. Inform the class that te are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang
cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
21. Stare continually at the professor’s crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
22. Address the professor as “your excellency”.
23. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he’s been
drinking.
24. Shout “WOW!” after every sentence of the lecture.
25. Bring a mirror and spend the lecture Scrivere Bible verses on your face.
26. Ask whether te have to come to class.
27. Present the professor with a large frutta basket.
28. Bring a “seeing eye rooster” to class.
29. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, “Vet ozzle haffen dee
henvay?” Become aggitated when the professor can’t understand you.
30. Relive your Junior High days da leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard
erasers.
31. Watch the professor through binoculars.
32. Start a “wave” in a large lecture hall.
33. Ask to introduce your “invisible friend” in the empty sede, sedile beside you, and
ask for one extra copy of each handout.
34. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream “AAAGH! MY
EYES!”
35. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name,
even it’s Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
36. Sit in the front row Leggere the professor’s graduate thesis and snickering.
37. As soon as the first campana, bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board.
Ignore the professor’s reply and proceed to do so anyway.
38. Claim that te wrote the class text book.
39. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and
scream “IMPOSTER!”
40. Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
41. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write “Signup Sheet #5″
at the top, and start passing it around the room.
42. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your sede, sedile after the
professor answers.
43. Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for
“stud”.
44. Interrupt every few minuti to ask the professor, “Can te spell that?”
45. Disassemble your pen. “Accidently” propel pieces across the room while
playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
46. Wink at the professor every few minutes.
47. In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
48. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when te laugh.
49. Wear a black hooded mantello to class and ring a bell.
50. Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of
ancient Greek trade routes down farther because te can’t see Macedonia.
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave permanent markers da the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle
of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode
of Starsky and Hutch.
11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip
the pages out of your textbook.
12. Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention
to pursue a career in measurements and units.
13. Sing your questions.
14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
15. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream “THAT’S MEEEEE!
Oh, no, sorry.”
16. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you
actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O’Reilly.
17. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
18. Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you’ve done so.
19. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters “CHECK YOUR FLY”.
20. Inform the class that te are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang
cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
21. Stare continually at the professor’s crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
22. Address the professor as “your excellency”.
23. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he’s been
drinking.
24. Shout “WOW!” after every sentence of the lecture.
25. Bring a mirror and spend the lecture Scrivere Bible verses on your face.
26. Ask whether te have to come to class.
27. Present the professor with a large frutta basket.
28. Bring a “seeing eye rooster” to class.
29. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, “Vet ozzle haffen dee
henvay?” Become aggitated when the professor can’t understand you.
30. Relive your Junior High days da leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard
erasers.
31. Watch the professor through binoculars.
32. Start a “wave” in a large lecture hall.
33. Ask to introduce your “invisible friend” in the empty sede, sedile beside you, and
ask for one extra copy of each handout.
34. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream “AAAGH! MY
EYES!”
35. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name,
even it’s Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
36. Sit in the front row Leggere the professor’s graduate thesis and snickering.
37. As soon as the first campana, bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board.
Ignore the professor’s reply and proceed to do so anyway.
38. Claim that te wrote the class text book.
39. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and
scream “IMPOSTER!”
40. Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
41. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write “Signup Sheet #5″
at the top, and start passing it around the room.
42. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your sede, sedile after the
professor answers.
43. Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for
“stud”.
44. Interrupt every few minuti to ask the professor, “Can te spell that?”
45. Disassemble your pen. “Accidently” propel pieces across the room while
playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
46. Wink at the professor every few minutes.
47. In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
48. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when te laugh.
49. Wear a black hooded mantello to class and ring a bell.
50. Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of
ancient Greek trade routes down farther because te can’t see Macedonia.
1.SpongeBob SqaurePants
2.The Legend of Korra
3.Aaahh!!!Real Monsters
4.The Ren and Stimpy Show
5.(Impractical)Jokers
6.Resturant:Impossible
7.Family Guy
8.Pranked!
9.Tanked
10.Max and Ruby(Just to make fun of it)
11.Adventure Time
12.Regular Show
13.MAD
14.Scrubs
15.Everybody Hates Chris
16.That 70s' Show
17.All That
18.Kenan and Kel
19.My Cat From Hell
20.Dogs101
21.Ellen
22.Law and Order
23.Judge Judy
24.Judge Mathis
25.Judge Ross
26.The Wonder Years
27.My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic
28.Rocko's Modern Life
29.Phineis and Ferb
30.Hey,Arnold!
NOTE:Listed in no particular order.
2.The Legend of Korra
3.Aaahh!!!Real Monsters
4.The Ren and Stimpy Show
5.(Impractical)Jokers
6.Resturant:Impossible
7.Family Guy
8.Pranked!
9.Tanked
10.Max and Ruby(Just to make fun of it)
11.Adventure Time
12.Regular Show
13.MAD
14.Scrubs
15.Everybody Hates Chris
16.That 70s' Show
17.All That
18.Kenan and Kel
19.My Cat From Hell
20.Dogs101
21.Ellen
22.Law and Order
23.Judge Judy
24.Judge Mathis
25.Judge Ross
26.The Wonder Years
27.My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic
28.Rocko's Modern Life
29.Phineis and Ferb
30.Hey,Arnold!
NOTE:Listed in no particular order.
2.if u r on your peroid o nawt!!
3.Who te talk 2 on the phone
4.THat te are super jelous o other girls (or boys)
5.That te hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up te will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That te have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart te are at fixing things.
GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!
1. Cause it felt like it.
2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????
3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup
4. it wanted some chiken soup.
5. it needed 2 get to the other side
6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r fan of him u no)
7. on the other side of the road was a KFC
8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken attraversare, croce the road
9. he had reasons 2
10. he was lost
11. he wanted to make this joke
12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.
P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????
3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup
4. it wanted some chiken soup.
5. it needed 2 get to the other side
6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r fan of him u no)
7. on the other side of the road was a KFC
8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken attraversare, croce the road
9. he had reasons 2
10. he was lost
11. he wanted to make this joke
12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.
P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the superiore, in alto of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long giorno of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill detto to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task da concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped Canto and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in più 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut erba makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be più successivo week.
1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.
2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.
3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.
4. The UK population grew in più 2008 than at any time since 1962.
5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.
6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.
7. The smell of cut erba makes people happy.
8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.
9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.
10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.
Hopefully there will be più successivo week.