My sister sent me this, funniest thing ever.
Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!
Dear wife:
I'm Scrivere te this letter to tell te that I'm leaving te forever. I've been a good man to te for 7 years & I have nothing to mostra for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that te quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, te came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your preferito meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. te ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. te don't tell me te Amore me anymore; te don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either te are cheating on me o te don't Amore me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my giorno più than receiving your letter.
It's true te & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when te got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if te can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when te cooked my preferito meal, te must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from te because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved te & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home te were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope te have the fulfilling life te always wanted. My lawyer detto that the letter te wrote ensures te won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told te this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Best Divorce Letter, EVERRRRRR!
Dear wife:
I'm Scrivere te this letter to tell te that I'm leaving te forever. I've been a good man to te for 7 years & I have nothing to mostra for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that te quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, te came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your preferito meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. te ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. te don't tell me te Amore me anymore; te don't want anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either te are cheating on me o te don't Amore me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my giorno più than receiving your letter.
It's true te & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when te got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if te can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when te cooked my preferito meal, te must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from te because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved te & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home te were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope te have the fulfilling life te always wanted. My lawyer detto that the letter te wrote ensures te won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told te this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Man: If I could see te naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw te naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Haven't I seen te someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this sede, sedile empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if te sit down.
Man: Your place o mine?
Woman: Both. te go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do te do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: ciao baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do te like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would te stay there?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman: What? And spoil my great sex life?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman:Why aren't te thin?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
Woman: If I saw te naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Haven't I seen te someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this sede, sedile empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if te sit down.
Man: Your place o mine?
Woman: Both. te go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do te do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: ciao baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do te like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would te stay there?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman: What? And spoil my great sex life?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman:Why aren't te thin?
Man: Why aren't te married yet?
Woman: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
A fwd I got:
The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words
1.cheese=Maria likes me but cheese fat
2.mushroom=wen all my Friends get in the car, there isn't mushroom
3.shoulder=my friend didn't know how to make a taco so I shoulder
4.texas=my friend always texas me fwds
5.herpes=me and my friend shared a piza, I got my piece and she got herpes
6.july=ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me! !! Julyer!!!!!
7.rectum=I had two cars, but my wife rectum
8.chicken=I was going to tje store with my wife but chicken go da herself
9.wheelchair=we only have one soda but ita ok wheelchair
10.chicken wing=my mom plays the lottery so chicken wing
11.liver=a bully was messing wit my sister and I told him to liver alone
12.bodywash=I wanted to go to the bar but no bodywash my kids
13.budweiser=that woman over there has a nice body, budweiser her face so ugly
The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words
1.cheese=Maria likes me but cheese fat
2.mushroom=wen all my Friends get in the car, there isn't mushroom
3.shoulder=my friend didn't know how to make a taco so I shoulder
4.texas=my friend always texas me fwds
5.herpes=me and my friend shared a piza, I got my piece and she got herpes
6.july=ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me! !! Julyer!!!!!
7.rectum=I had two cars, but my wife rectum
8.chicken=I was going to tje store with my wife but chicken go da herself
9.wheelchair=we only have one soda but ita ok wheelchair
10.chicken wing=my mom plays the lottery so chicken wing
11.liver=a bully was messing wit my sister and I told him to liver alone
12.bodywash=I wanted to go to the bar but no bodywash my kids
13.budweiser=that woman over there has a nice body, budweiser her face so ugly
