Already, everyone, I’m gonna level with you. I haven’t been out of my house in three weeks. I haven’t seen the son, I only leave my room to eat o use the bathroom, and I’ve been glued to my chair for so long that it has left a permanent mark of my ass. And why is it that I have been in such a horrid state? Because I’ve been playing nothing but Slime Rancher.



Where do I even begin to talk about a game such as this. This is a game that feels so well crafted and so perfectly made that te can feel the developers Amore and care in it. They make aggiornamenti frequently for the game and are always doing what they can to improve it and the game shines thanks to their dedication. The story follows a new rancher da the name of Beatrix, who gains a ranch of her own to start her adventure as well as to receive emails from her friend and maybe find out what happened to the original owner of the ranch. From the start, te have a single plot of line and some spots to open up, be it a ranch for Slimes, a garden for fruits and vegetables, a coop for chickens, o a pond o furnace. But before that, te gotta get Slimes. And these are just the cutest things around. From the average rosa Slimes to the socially awkward yet adorable Pond Slimes to the cute raccoon Hunter Slimes to the neat but dangerous Rad Slimes. Slime Rancher manages to take the basic design of a ball with dot eyes and a mouth and make a bunch of charming creatures that I want to own. Kirby did that and now Kirby has a huge fandom. It even has bible length lore that is darker than Dark Souls, but we’re getting off topic. It’s not all cute adventures, though. There’s also the Tarrs, evil Slimes that are ravenous and will try to eat your Slimes and ruin your ranch. So te also gotta be on protective mode and protect your little goo balls from these bastards.
So te collect Slimes for the ranch, that’s neat. But what do te do? What’s the goal. Well, as te collect and feed Slimes, they start to grant te Plorts, which is, in fact, Slime shit, which is apparently super valuable in the world of Slime Rancher. Depending on what plort te get, how much te have, and on what the market is interested in at the moment, te will soon find yourself with a ton of cash and a lot to spend it on. te can buy new land to expand your ever growing Ranch to get più Slimes, which gives te più Plorts, which gives te più money to spend. te can use it to buy upgrades to your Slime Gun o your home o your character. te can buy worker robots which are incredibly useless and have never helped me out in the slightest and I hate them. Of course, that’s not all there is to do. There’s also a mass open world to explore. te start off in a mountain like quarry, before te sposta to a mass of rocks near the lack, and later, a cave system, and then a jungle. But as te explore the world of Slime Rancher, te soon find a strange obelisc in the center of the jungle with a door to open. Suddenly, te aren’t just caring for your Slimes and trying to make money, te are solving a mystery. A mystery that leads te to a strange hologram building with Quantum Slimes and a whole vast desert where te discover the truth about the old ranch owner. I was not expecting to get gripped da the games silent story-telling only told to te in logs from the old rancher and emails from Beatrix’s friends. And I was also not expecting to get hit with them feels. I just wanted to collect new Slimes, open locked doors, and explore the expanding world. And instead, I got a crazy mystery that lead me to a new world and feels for my main character’s friend. And I am glad that the game did that.
Sadly, the game does have some issues. There are a few glitches I noticed from Slimes just not eating and a really cruel one that locked me in between two walls that I was unable to get out of and as a result, had to sacrifice a Quantum Slime just to get out. But like I detto before, the game is always getting aggiornamenti with new additions and fixes, so I can see them working these out in time. Slime Rancher is one of my preferito indie games out there and I’ve only been playing it for a couple of weeks. It’s such an addictive game to play and gives te so much to do and a lot of rewards for completing it. If te happen to come across this game, and are a fan of the più relaxing titles like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, then Slime Rancher is the game for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, the mark of my culo is starting to get cold.

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