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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find più crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? te are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let te watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE te GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE te A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE te SEEN THE focaccina, muffin MAN THE focaccina, muffin MAN THE focaccina, muffin MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! te BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME o I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my Friends is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if te will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.
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Source: Me :)
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Source: Me :)
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Source: RaNdOm, random, picture, funny, cute, beauty, animals, art
I KNEW te WERE IN TROUBLE da Taylor Swift

{I Knew te Were Trouble}

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, te got me alone
You found me, te found me, te found me…
I guess te didn't care and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard, te took a step back
Without me, without me, without me…
And he's long gone when he's successivo to me
And I realize the blame is on me.

CHORUS
Cause I knew te were trouble when te walked in
So shame on me now
I flew me to places I’d never been
so te put me down oh,
I knew te were trouble when te walked in
So shame on me now
I flew me to places I’d...
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posted by nmdis
ROAR
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the barca and make a mess
So I sit quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let te push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

Chorus:
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fuoco
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me...
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posted by nmdis
SLOW DOWN

Now that I have captured your attention
I want to steal te for a rhythm intervention
Mr. T, te say I'm ready for inspection
Show me how te make a first impression

Oh, oh
Can we take it nice and slow, slow
Break it down and drop it low, low
Cause I just wanna party all night in the neon lights 'til te can't let me go

I just wanna feel your body right successivo to mine
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
And when it's coming closer to the end hit rewind
All night long
Baby, slow down the song

If te want me I'm accepting applications
So long as we keep this record on rotation
You know I'm good...
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posted by animelol
Mary asks everyone to guess her age. Thanks to the amazing effects of two safe, at-home anti-aging creams, her skin defies time, looking 20 years younger than it once did.

As a mom to two children in Hightstown, New Jersey, Mary leads the typical average American lifestyle. After working hard to provide for her family in this struggling economy, Mary can't afford to throw money at the newest beauty products, hoping they will work when all others have not lived up to their hype. Unhappy with the wrinkles and age spots on her face, not to mention the sagging skin on her neck, Mary strived to find...
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Ooooohhh
Ooh, yeah
You, te got a nasty reputation
We're in a sticky situation, it's down to me and you
So tell me, is it true, they say there ain't nobody better
Well now that we're together
Show me what te can do

You're under the gun
Out on the run
Gonna set the night on fire
Out on the run
Under the gun
Playin' to win

Raise your hands
When te want to let it go
Raise your hands
And te want to let a feeling show
Raise your hands
New York to Chicago
Raise your hands
From New Jersey to Tokyo
Whoa-whoa
Raise your hands

I, I've been out on the front line
Where you'll go down if te waste time
They'll walk all over...
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Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck
It's tough, so tough

Gina works the commensale, diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love, mmm, for love

She says we got to hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it o not
We got each other and that's a lot
For Amore we'll give it a shot

Oh we're half way there
Whoa-oh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Whoa-oh, livin' on a prayer

Tommy's got his six string in hock
Now he's holding in when he used to make it talk
So tough, mmm, it's tough

Gina...
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Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

The weekend comes to this town
Seven days too soon
For the ones who have to make up
What we break up of their rules

Well I saw Captain Kidd on Sunset
Tell his boys they're in command
While chino danced a tango
With a broomstick in his hand
He said, it's alright (Alright) if te have a good time
It's alright (alright) if te want to attraversare, croce that line
Break on through to the other side

Let it rock (Let it rock), let it go (Let it go)
You can't stop a fuoco burning out of control
Let it rock (Let it rock), let it go (Let it go)
With the night we’re on the loose, huh
Got to let it rock
Whoa
Whoa

We...
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Listen people can't te hear the voices that are crying out
There's a hunger burning in the cuore of their souls
Maybe now that I got te let me tell te what I'm talking 'bout
Stand up and shout tonight we'll lose control

(Oh, no)
I been down and mistreated
(Oh no, let’s go)
Now we're standing undefeated
(Yeah)

I'm (I’m) the king of the mountain
I'm (I’m) the king of the hill
I'm (I’m) the king of the mountain
I'm (I’m) the king of the hill

You spend your life working 9 to 5 it's like doing time
Boss man says "Hey boy, you'll never be no good"
With the night there's a magic in the air makes us...
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